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Posts by hydromorphone
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2018-05-25 at 4:40 AM UTC in ATT: Risir
Originally posted by WellHung U two homos spit or swallow?
We're not homos since well, I possess a cunt. Im actually married to another long time forum member too.
Originally posted by RisiR † Yea, Benzos and various other substances. Thank you.
I probably won't post pics. I don't do that, y'know. I've read that you aren't doing so good… that sucks. I hope the best for you.
Well, hope it all works out. Benzo WDs are fucking awful, dude, hope you're not that bad or at least out of the woods as far as that goes. I am Assuming T-PAIN and other nootropics are the "other" drugs you need help with?
As far as pics of your fishies... Meh, it was worth a try... But I understand, sweetie.
Yeah, I haven't been doing so good. Doctors are pretty worried I'm gonna die because I won't accept blood... Meh, I don't feel lucky enough to die though. We will see though. Maybe my stubborn Irish/German blood Will kick the shit out of it and I'll pull around. Just one day at a time, I guess. -
2018-05-25 at 4:23 AM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..
Originally posted by POLECAT whats killin ya tho
I'm septic (meaning I have infection in my blood), my knee/thigh is infected with a massive amount of puss which is MRSA. Really bad off ATM. They're up my ass about me dying because I won't take blood... So... Guess unless I'm tougher than this shit, I'm gonna die according to them. Oh and they think the infection got into my femur bone too. They gave me a drug called epogen, which helps increase hemoglobin but it caused me to break out all over in itchy hives and have a fever chills to point I was shaking like a paint shaker for an hour with muscles contracted in even worse pain after it was IVed....
Im kinda fucked here... -
2018-05-25 at 2:22 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.Well, regardless what you think, I didn't intentionally let this fester. Nobody assumed until blood cultures and ct scans that this was infection. Not even doctors or nurses. I did seek medical attention in a timely manner in the beginning. They even ruled out blood clot. I begged the er doc to do a ct but he wouldn't and just sent me home.
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2018-05-24 at 5:32 PM UTC in Fonaplats' Thinking About The Big Picture Thursday*hugs* Fona. Glad you're feeling so energetic and positive. Hang onto those feelings else they can fly away as they often do with me.
Sending lots of love. Take care, honey. -
2018-05-24 at 4:51 PM UTC in ATT: RisirThat's cool and I'm glad you weren't MIA for something bad.
So about the "rehab" shit... I'm guessing you chose to do that and its for drug related shit? You never struck me as someone who had a drug problem beyond maybe smoking a little more weed than the average bear. But hey, hope it all works out and you get what you're looking to get out of it.
Koi are cool. Those fish can get expensive considering they're just pretty lookin' carp though. Post pics, I'd love to see them.
Take care, sweetie. Glad you're doing good. -
2018-05-24 at 9:19 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by TT.x1c hydromorphone do you ever consider that youre the type of person who might not be good at recieving advice or non monetary help
How so? I tried to go back to the ER for 10 days. I've done everything other than accept a transfusion here as well. I've been here going now on two weeks. -
2018-05-24 at 7:11 AM UTC in ATT: RisirHow you been doing, my big German bro?
I feel like you need a hug.
*hug*
I've missed you, dude. Glad to see you back. So, what happened during your hiatus? Anything cool? -
2018-05-24 at 6:57 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by gumbo Why are you blaming other people? This is your fault. If you want something done go do it yourself. I'm sure you had internet during this time you could've called an ambulance with. It's not like you don't know the signs of infection. You also have a house phone.
I did not have internet/device to call at the time. No, I don't have a house phone either. Take into account too, I was extremely dehydrated, septic without knowing, and at time having full blown hallucinations with extreme pain. As I said before I called as soon as I found my old phone and was able to get a charge on it. When I got to the ER I was extremely dehydrated, and the only reason they checked for infection was just standard protocol because I had a fever but before results were back it was just presumed to be inflammation from my knee injury. Everyone, including myself was blown away it was infection. I was thinking at worst blood clot... Which I also have. My roommates really did drop the ball on me. They seen and knew I needed medical help, but chose to prioritize their shit... Well... Shit is gonna be a lot different come soon for them. They forget they're month to month, and drive my car and to leave someone that way was deplorable. I don't need people like that in my life. I got my other friend over there now to make sure shit is okay but I cannot wait til that shit hits the fan.
BTW, there was no open wound to indicate infection. Also the fevers would come and go, but I did have a knee injury (torn ACL as I've found out through surgery/ct scan- first time when it first happened I begged the er doc to do a ct scan but he wouldn't) with insane bad swelling which can produce fevers. Every doctor has said they're surprised it did turn out like this. If they're surprised, then I had no way of knowing either. Not like I could just send off blood work from my bedroom just because its hospital protocol for fevers. -
2018-05-23 at 9:41 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
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2018-05-23 at 9:40 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by gumbo You are a special brand of retard to have gone lethally septic two years in a row. This was entirely avoidable. You are literally dying of negligence and retardation. You deal with serious infections on a nearly yearly basis and yet still cannot manage to figure out that you should take antibiotics when symptoms first arise. This doesn't just happen overnight.
Wonder what your son will think when he finds out mommy hated blood transfusions more than she loved him.
I had gone to the doctor when shit started. This was believed to first have been a knee injury and I was sent home to take motrin and rest it (I do have a torn ACL though too). I did as told. It got worse and then I became unable to walk and bedridden. The people in my home kept trying to put off taking me back to the ER since they needed me at the house for dumb reasons despite me unable to do shit. I eventually, once I found my cell phone, called for an ambulance. My son is with and was then, friends who are taking good care of him. I'm glad I made that call early. He's been up to see me but just from the door since I'm on contact precautions and have MRSA. I'm lucky I have good people who act as a tribe to help when shit is bad.
I don't "hate" transfusions more than I love my child, this is just how I feel. I love my son with all my heart and soul. -
2018-05-23 at 8:25 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by NARCassist opiate tolerance soon reduces back down when you stop using you know, that shit isn't permanent.
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Or when you tapper, as I've been doing. I ain't gonna say it was easy, but I did it. 4mgs of IV diludid helps my pain to a reasonable degree (taking in account I'm bedridden so if I was up moving for any period, more would likely be needed to preserve this level of pain control) and I feel alright too.
You gotta remember too, while there is cross tolerance from T-PAIN, its not a full agonist, so the dilaudid helps more in other ways because it affects the other opiate receptors T-PAIN fails to touch.
Alrighty... Wish me luck, I guess. Or not. For the record, in the event I die or its while before I post again: On everything I love and care about, I never once sent a message threatening to kill §m£ÂgØL, nor did I do it through mine or others, or burner emails, or in anyway email him as such to cause harassment. Whatever he wants to believe, fine, but I know the truth and it wasn't me. -
2018-05-23 at 7:58 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by gumbo Hydro always said she'd rather die than go through surgery, but here she is waiting to go through surgery. Again.
She'll probably accept blood once shit gets serious and she gets scared/realizes her convictions are dumb. But by then of course it'll be too late, so she'll end up posting a thread from hell about how doctors are retarded.
I went through surgery for 1337 and also the type of surgery was a factor too. Shit is already serious as far as blood goes, I am short of breath and other complications. I'm being transfered to another hospital soon hopefully too. I'd tell you which but to hide my PI I won't say but its one that's in the top 10 best in the country. Just talked to my patient advocate today and there has been plenty of options/treatments they've neglected to provide which would preserve my wishes and also make it so I don't bleed to death in surgery. I'm not budging on blood. If I can't survive with my own, then it wasn't meant to be. I don't care what others choose, shit. I've donated enough myself,but for me... Nope, not going to accept.
My whole abdomen is swollen and everywhere they had a heart monitor sticky is broken out. Just removed them this afternoon and no issue before. My temp still won't drop. It was at 102.5, then 102.9 them finally went to 101.5 as of now. Just can't breakout it though even packed to the gills with ice. I hate toradol, but its a good anti inflammatory drug and helps with fevers big time. Wish they'd just IV me with that and get it over like they did a few nights ago when the fever was bad again like now and wouldn't break.
They gave me a new drug via IV a while ago and I'm wondering if its not causing these mild allergic reactions and fever chills and shit. It all started shortly after. I forget the name but I'll find out when the nurse comes back.
As for doctors being retarded, there is a high lot that is. The doctors I have ATM... Meh, they could just hit me with toradol and save us all this hell with fevers we know is a reoccurring thing and we know why its happening... So... I find that some what retarded... But not ALL doctors. My anesthesiologist was pretty cool and knew his shit. We talked and bullshitted a while before the surgeon got his ass in and we went back. He also was the one who gave me my pca pump too. There is just a lot of doctors who gave over inflated egos and/or are retards about some shit. -
2018-05-23 at 4:45 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by Solstice That's your best bet, there's no amount of pain medication the hospital will be willing to use on you that will break through the tolerance you acquired by abusing tineptine and blowing out your receptors. Your husband will be dead from an overdose or suicide within the next few years anyways and your children won't be missing out on anything.
Maybe if you tap into your prostitution skills and offer to suck off one of the doctors they will do a "whoopsies" and slip some pentobarbital into your PCA pump. Fentanyl would make more sense but you're such a junkie that they probably don't have enough of it in the hospital to ensure an overdose on you.
Your pain will never get better, it's only going to get worse with time and you'll never be able to acquire a drug powerful enough to combat your endlessly rising tolerance. If you're this bad off before you hit 30, how do you think you'll handle it at 40?
Yeah well, surprisingly I did manage to drop !u tolerance prior to and while in the hospital. I still what would have lasted me 4 days, which I still have a reasonable amount going on 10 days. Pain isn't entirely controlled, but much better than expected with shit they're giving me. Today they took me off the PCs pump (because the pharmacy is running out *rolls eyes* and there is a shortage) so now instead of 0.2mg every 5mins/max 5mg every 4 hours, I get 4mgs every 3 hours orally ... But I just save them and dissolve in water and IV. So I do get a bigger dose which knocks the pain back way better at least and don't have to hit a pump a shit load of times and take damn near 2 hours or more to get any relief if say the pharmacy took their good old time getting my syringe.
Now because I won't accept blood they are trying to transfer me. So I might be somewhere else soon. They think my femur bone is infected too since there is puss sitting so close where they can see on the CT scan.
Shit is definitely scary. If I live through this... God, I fucking don't know what... There won't be much that can kill me. The doctors here are all up my ass to take blood but I won't. Talked to a patient advocate through my insurance today and she's filing grievances because of the "harassment" as she put it. My hemoglobin did go from 4.9, down to 4.5, now back up to 5.5 today... So at least its finally going up but they did give me another run of iron (which giving it early as they did could cause liver failure) so it's probably just from that... They want at least a 8-9 to operate again. So its just gonna take a while.
Originally posted by Malice
It's nice to know you could go peacefully any day. There's no fear of pain or failure, it's exactly like falling asleep and never waking up again. The arguments even the vast majority of people to against suicide or to attribute a negative value to death are painfully moronic.
*hugs* I just Hope whatever you choose you find happiness with it. Thank you for all the good you've done to try and help me, I'll forever cherish and appreciate all you did for who I loved and myself. I only wish I could say it in person or at least by voice.
Just about an hour ago I went into bad chills while writing this. They did an EKG on me and gave me Tylenol. Had a fever shoot up out of nowhere while I did my own bandage/packing change (hurts less than them doing it and most the time they just give me stuff and go away for a while). I think the cold saline I used to wet the bandages triggered it while my body was burning up. Went on for an hour. Crazy painful shit. Now Im hot as fuck with ice packs all over me... This is fucking insane. Malice, part of me wishes I could go out your route ATM. -
2018-05-21 at 7:27 PM UTC in Shows you refuse to watch because the title is fucking stupid
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2018-05-21 at 7:26 PM UTC in What are currently sitting on?A pillow in a hospital bed. If I don't have an ass pillow I get nerve pain in my hip. I have made many transport, nurses, and doctors laugh over my sacred ass pillow. Idgaf this shit def helps my pain. I feel like a 60 yo lady though bitching about my ass pillow.
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2018-05-21 at 7:21 PM UTC in Out of the loop: What is DH and where did all these subjects come from?...lol...
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2018-05-21 at 7:18 PM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..In excruciating pain in a hospital bed hitting the fuck out of my PCA pump button ATM. Sleep hasn't come easy even before I got here either. Waiting for 1337 to wake up from his nap to call me which does help distract away from the pain a bit. Wish he were here with me now. Scares me that I probably am gonna die and never see my husband again. Anxiety is super bad.
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2018-05-21 at 6:04 PM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by MORALLY SUPERIOR BEING Sure it's not your heart?
Yeah, they did an xray of lungs and ultrasound of heart. Other than already known imperfections (thoracic aortic aneurysm) my heart is relatively good, however they did find something the size of a quarter on my left lung with xray. Might be a blood clot but at this point even if it was it doesn't matter treatment is the same. Inhabe a DVT in my leg as is too..
Originally posted by WE SMOOTH I hope everything turns out to the good, hydro.
I appreciate it, dude. I do too.
Originally posted by DietPiano Well are they?
Nope. I'm in a pretty damn good hospital with relatively few blacks and those who are are pretty educated and/or of house nigger quality. But for the 3 he was yelling at right then last night, there wasn't a black person on the floor that I saw all night Even so... Idk. I over heard him say this morning he thought the year was 1976, but he knew Trump was president and where he was... So he does have a screw loose. -
2018-05-21 at 11:34 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by hydromorphone No, that's my hemoglobin count I was referring to. My white is down from 38 when I came in to I think they said 16 today.
I have a PCA pump with hydromorphone in the bitch since surgery which thank god for that at least.
Originally posted by gumbo It's too bad you decided to reconcile with your mother who literally poisoned you as a child. (IIRC, you told me you thought she did it for the life insurance policy you and your dad had at the time.)
Do you think it is possible she will get custody when you die? Or will is your addict husband planning on taking on the responsibility of the child of a woman he's dated/been married to for less than a year?
I strongly suggest you start writing attacks on your mother's character now, in case you die. She is, amazingly, a worse human being than you could ever hope to be. I know she's already tried and failed to get custody, but you never know. Do everything you can right now to prevent this from happening. Don't let your son suffer through the same experiences that led you to become the damaged sick whore you are today.
I mean, I think you're the definition of white trash, but your mother is completely fucking evil and you know this. It would have been best if she'd never found out about your son.
As far as !u mother goes,yes I agree. I was in a desperate situation and needed to gtfo of where I was and yeah I never intended to stay.
There's no chance she will get him. That's sealed in stone but I do appreciate the concern for him there.
Drug addict or not, doesn't mean that makes a bad person or a terrible role model.
This morning has been pretty bad. Doing nothing I'm out of breath and I got sharp pains in my left lung. Not good. Anxiety has been really bad too. Where I'm at all I've heard last night is 3 different patients screaming either in pain, calling the nurses niggers, or an old lady just being a screamo cunt.
I'm really just ready to die now... Pain is just way too much. -
2018-05-21 at 7:53 AM UTC in What makes judges 'honorable?'
Originally posted by NARCassist §m£ÂgØL you couldn't even handle hydro. there is no way you gonna handle shit in the real world like cops get involved in. you'll prolly end up becoming one of the hundreds of cops that get killed in the line of duty.
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Nah dude he'd be running away as soon as shit got hot lmfao