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Posts by hydromorphone
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2018-09-16 at 6:26 PM UTC in Attn: HTSIf HTS wants to change her sex,then more power. I do however believe that her and people like her have a mental illness regarding their identity crisis which is bringing them to change their sex. I think they should consider their choice for a long time before going under the knife,but if they want it, and can afford it then... I hope they're happy with their choice.
I really don't care so much about adults choosing this route, as I do about kids though. Kids need intensive counseling, not hormones or surgery. If after that they choose to go on with a surgery for sex change then more power to them.
I'm not knocking your choice, HTS, and I would imagine you've gone over the pros and cons, but I won't lie and say I'm not worried. I'm sure there are many people who've had surgery who are completely happy for their entire life, but it does seem to me that there is something deeper, and for some once they realize surgery is an option, it becomes a goal, and they think all their problems will vanish after that. Counseling can take years to have any breakthroughs unfortunately if they ever happen, and that leaves someone suffering for a very long time unable to cope with how their body is. That's the same for a lot of people with mental illness regardless of if it's sexual identity or depression, anxiety, whatever else. People live with schizophrenia for their entire lives and it's unfortunate that they suffer too. I'm not putting down seeking an answer and being "fixed" for lack of a better word, but in some cases surgery is just a temporary fix,and then once the honeymoon period wears off they are left still with their same problems and possibly more due to complications, and regret.
I support you 100%, HTS, if that's what she wants,but as a friend and someone who genuinely cares I just hope and pray it's the answer for her, works successfully with no complications, and she's happy for the rest of her life with the results. I'm behind her all the way though, and if it doesn't work out, well... I'm going to be a friend just like I would with any friend who made a mistake and try to be there. We all make mistakes, but hey, this probably won't be one for her. I'm hoping this helps her be who she wants to be inside and out, and makes her happy. -
2018-09-16 at 5:28 PM UTC in MaliceI was wondering if anyone confirmed if he really did off himself.
I know he was living in the bay area, but didn't he move further south not terribly long before he did it? I was going to try and see if I could find an obituary, assuming nobody else has. Having a rough location would definitely help.
I really miss him a lot. I don't feel like the forum is the same without him posting here, and while it's not the whole reason I've been so sporadic in coming here, even lurking, it definitely doesn't help that I don't have his autistic rants to read anymore. For all the shit he got, sometimes deserving, sometimes not, he was a good guy, better than most on here. -
2018-08-22 at 4:13 PM UTC in where's all the drama
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2018-08-22 at 3:38 PM UTC in When you see a post from EnteritaOh I guess "dear".. I mean D E A R is another word enhancement. Not sure if anyone else noticed, but for me it's a first.
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2018-08-22 at 3:36 PM UTC in When you see a post from EnteritaThought he was leaving though? Well, lol, we all know that's bullshit. Nobody leaves for good. We all wind up right back here eventually. He might be gone for a while, but soon enough his little autistic, woman hating ass will come back to cry about why girls don't like him before too much time goes by.
Our dear little cumcake. -
2018-08-22 at 3:26 PM UTC in I'm leaving NIS forever.
Originally posted by Enterita Too many fucking retards here
Well, that'll make it one less. I commend your effort to do your part in thinning the 'tard population.
Originally posted by Enterita and Im not misremembering them since I was only 14 at the time.
lol, okay, buddy. Nobody- especially you- has a skewed memory from when they were 14. Granted, totse had a larger user base, and with that we did have quite a few highly intelligent individuals roaming around, but still... It'snot possible AT ALL you could be having an over inflated, and distorted h c, " by nostalgic feelings...
Malice is the only one who could do shit like that, because he had super autismo powers from outter space that had been infected by the alien abductions (TM). You're just the boring, sad kind of autist.
Isn't it always, with almost everyone when they get older "well, back in MY day...", and/or some narrative of things being more awesome, cooler, and just better overall? It's like people who say "I was born in the wrong generation." which I think is kinda stupid. -
2018-08-19 at 8:45 PM UTC in Do you have something that you desire, yet know you can never have whatever that is?
Originally posted by LegalizeSpiritualDiscovery Probably because all you talk about is your problems and how terrible your life is and how you're supposedly suicidal and youyouyouyouyou. I think about suicide constantly throughout the day, but I don't sit there and talk about it all the time, or at all really. You seem extremely narcissistic, and that shit's an epidemic right now.
In this thread I haven't said a single thing about any problem I may be having. I asked others about an issue, and how they cope with that issue. I even said to enter I didn't want to discuss how the topic might relate to myself. I'm more curious of what others are dealing with and how they keep going with it.
Yes, I've been suicidal for a baste majority of my life, and I have discussed it quite a bit on here, but I certainly am not trying to come off as self centered or narcissistic. I care about others and their trials and tribulations; even yours, that's why way back I did offer to try and help when you were using (not to enable, but I didn't want you to get fucked up from using dirty rigs and shit, or have to pay out the ass for just one.) Its why I've helped or at least tried to help others on here too, where I can, however I could at the time. Let me tell you, it hurts a lot to know that Malice is gone. I wish I could have done or said something to help him.
In any case I hope shit is doing well for you. Take care. -
2018-08-16 at 3:59 AM UTC in Do you have something that you desire, yet know you can never have whatever that is?
Originally posted by LegalizeSpiritualDiscovery For you to die.
Wow, I'm flattered.
Pray tell, how did I deserve your disdain so passionately? At all, really?
I've never had any beef with you, even tried to help you out with clean rigs when you were in Miami, I believe it was, and tried to defend by playing devil's advocate on zoklet when you got arrested for the coffee thing with your mom. I never expected to be your favorite person here, or even "well liked", but you've said a lot of shitty things toward me recently (idk, in the last 6months, maybe a year) for reasons I can't even fathom.
Granted, you're being sarcastic here, since well, damn... If it's eats away at you and you think about it all the time with no escape from it, then that's some serial killer/stalker level shit right there... But being sarcastic even, pretty much tell me to either stfu or die in every thread I start or post in.. It seems you really don't like me at all. I just would like to know why. Just hopped on the popular wagon with the torches and pitch forks, perhaps?
Originally posted by Lanny posting in a heroin thread?
Why would this be about heroin? I have heroin right now. I can get heroin in 10minutes. I can also get pills too. If I were so inclined, I could get powdered cocaine, or crack cocaine too, though it's not my cup of tea, and I doubt the powder is any good, being so far north.
This thread has nothing to do with drugs at all. It has to do with far more important things than that. Being out of pain for the rest of my life would be a better guess, as I really would prefer not to have an opioid habit just to function and be out of pain, but that's not a likely thing, but still wouldn't hit the mark on this one.
Originally posted by Enterita I'm having a child with an attractive, sweet woman, and I'm going to leave that woman even though that means I'll never be allowed contact with the kid. That's how much I don't want to have a meaningful relationship with a woman. Keep up, stupid.
I'm glad it makes you feel better to call me names, it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I've been called much worse. I used to be a big girl, that's true, albeit, I was strong enough to bury you in the dirt without much effort, and drag around horses/riding them, saddles, and work 16hour days, 5-7days a week (more often 7) doing a lot of intense physical labor, so I've gotten called every name in the book at one time or another. I also hurt those who'd take their name calling too far, if they put their hands on me or my animals. It rolls off me like water, buddy. It's cute though how every post you seem to sit there and think of the worst thing you can come up with in the moment, thinking somehow, YOU of all people, lol, some little prick on the other side of the globe, can hurt my feelings.
You fat stupid hog.
You're a sad, little man, and I honestly pity you. It's pretty evident that you're a self sabotager. You're a sad, and fearful man, who's too scared to commit to something, because he's scared he will get hurt. You have this paranoid delusion that all woman are out to get you, and take advantage of you. Granted, there are superficial golddiggers, but most aren't. If it doesn't work out, it's more likely you two just weren't compatible, rather than the girl being a golddigger. Either way, it doesn't matter to you, though. Rejection is rejection and you're too weak and fragile of a man to handle any sort of rejection. Fuck, you can't handle it if a female friend won't text you back in a certain time. It's also more like you're just projecting the narrative that woman are using you, when actually, that's what you're doing.
Hope you figure shit out. Hope you broaden your world. -
2018-08-16 at 3:22 AM UTC in this guy says it as it is for realMy only grip thus far (I'm only on #14) is that raw pork isn't safer because we feed the pigs better, no, it's because we keep them in concrete stalls in commercial operations now days, which keeps them off the dirt, which we've been doing for so long we've gotten rid of the trichinella spiralis, which causes trichinosis. Trichinella spiralis can be easily gotten rid of with the administration of fenbazendole deworming agent, in both pigs and people. So, you see, when you take a group, and isolate them away from where it can spread, and it's easy to control the cleanliness of the area, as well as give them deworming agents regularly, that it basically stomped out this in commercial pigs, pork sold in grocery stores.
It has NOTHING to do with "feeding pigs better". Pasture raised pork, that's fed scraps from the table, left over milk, and them being left to graze (which they do, that most people don't know and are surprised to learn, and it's why they use pigs to hunt for truffles) on a reasonable sized plot, where they're not being stuck knee high in their own shit, as some people allow, then that pig is being fed better than their commercial counter part, which honestly, is terrible how those pigs are raised, it's a sin any living creature should suffer such abuse, indignity, torture, and pain in their short lives.
Commercial pigs are fed a blend of fats, proteins, and carbs, that are scientifically shown to be the best ratio to get a pig to gain weight as fast as possible, along with antibiotics (they'd have a high mortality rate otherwise, and studies show antibiotic raised calves at least (haven't read about pigs but I'm sure it's probably the same) gain weight at a faster rate, lower mortality, and reach their slaughter weight sooner.
The pig raised "free range", which is similar to how they would be in the wild, along with the addition of scraps or grain, DEFINITELY taste better than their commercial counterparts. So, who's "fed better"? The free range pig, as well as them being raised HUMANELY. The free range pig CAN contain trichinella spirlis. I mean, I've taken my chances and always cooked my free range pork medium rare to medium and on occasion eaten raw free range pork. I've never had trichinosis. It's a risk, yes, but I'm not fucking cremating my pork just because of some worm I can clear up with a 2$ dose of dewormer. I'd rather have a pig raised humanely to eat any day of the week with the small risk than fucking the atrocity that is commercial pork rearing, anyway. Just cook your meat a little longer, it doesn't have to be burnt to kill the small chance of a worm. Also, if you regularly deworm your pigs, you likely won't ever have this problem, just as I never did, and I dewormed mine regularly, and as needed.
Have fun with that, I guess. -
2018-08-16 at 2 AM UTC in Do you have something that you desire, yet know you can never have whatever that is?
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2018-08-16 at 2 AM UTC in Do you have something that you desire, yet know you can never have whatever that is?
Originally posted by Enterita Listen you fat fuck, you think even the dumbest fucktard on this site can't read past your shit?
You're lucky you tricked §m£ÂgØL into raising your kid or I'd fucking hate your heavyset guts.
lmfao, triggered much? I don't even have the time to keep track of this thread. I sure as fuck am not going to lay down things that hurt me to my soul, just so you and others can try and hurt me with them.
I genuinely wanted to know how others coped with that sort of shit. How do you cope with never having a meaningful relationship with a woman because you're a sexist bitch? I mean, from previous posts it's clear you do desire as much.
As for "tricking" §m£ÂgØL, I did no such thing, nor did he raise my child. Have another go, fuck head. -
2018-08-14 at 3:33 AM UTC in Do you have something that you desire, yet know you can never have whatever that is?
Originally posted by Enterita ITT: Hydro doesn't give a fuck about your responses, and is just waiting for the opportunity to give her answer. Fucking hell. Just make it another blog post in the future, you fat fuck.
No, not really. I honestly don't want to go over that with all you people, hence why I didn't mention anything in my opening post specific to me. -
2018-08-14 at 3:30 AM UTC in what's the last thing you bought?
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2018-08-14 at 3:27 AM UTC in what's the last thing you bought?Last thing I bought was a pill of dope so I could go to my doctor's appointment without being sick in WDs. The ride there and back, having to pick up a shitload of other residents who've also gone to appointments too, and when you leave being only an hour off from getting your pain meds, is long as fuck, so when I'm supposed to get my shit every 4 hours, that shit fucking has me going 6+ hours without anything, thus why I buy dope for such occasions.
I actually was pretty fucked up this last go. I had 4 pills I bought, and I'd saved up a dose of meds (actually just fell asleep right after I got my dose one night so I just had it tucked up and completely forgot about it until that morning). I wasn't expecting the dope to be that good since last time it wasn't, but surprise, surprise... I was so fucked up for the ride there, and during. I wasn't so fucked up though as not to ransack the office for medical supplies and even snagged a spray can from one of those timed sprayers they hang on walls of bathrooms and shit- needed that for when my roommate and I smoke in the bathroom here. I was running low of the shit I had, so.. Yeah. I was proud of my quick thinking. It's come in handy. Most the nurses and GNAs don't care so long as we use some kind of perfume or spray to cover the smell of smoke.
I'm surprised more people haven't said drugs as being their last purchase on here. my purchase was idk, 2-3 weeks ago though. Not much to buy around here other than drugs and I can't leave to go to the store so... Of course I'm just going to buy drugs with the money I make selling cigarettes. -
2018-08-14 at 3:11 AM UTC in Do you have something that you desire, yet know you can never have whatever that is?... Like, something that haunts your dreams, you want it so badly, something that engulfs all your thoughts beyond basic hygiene, work, and dealing with friends and family and other social obligations. It's something that brings great sorrow and/or regret when you think on it, which is frequently due to how much you desire it. It's something that doesn't go away, or pass, like a crush, it just eats away at you over time.
It could be a guy/girl, somewhere you want to live/visit, some position or title you wish to have, possibly at work, or somewhere else in life. Maybe it's a desire to travel or see something, yet you'll never be able to do so due to work or family obligations. Hell, maybe it's drugs. I know they can be very tempting to some, and cause severe desires that can haunt ones life.
How do you cope with something like that if you are or have experienced something like this? What was it for you, and how long has it been or how long did it last? Did you just push it down, or did you fully "get over" that desire and never look back? If it still haunts you, how do you go about your day with those invading thoughts? Do you use fantasizing as a way to deal with it or does that make it worse? -
2018-08-10 at 2:28 PM UTC in sex is over ratedIs this the real Rizzo from totse/zoklet?
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2018-08-09 at 8:30 PM UTC in Who wants hydromorphone dead?Well, I was serious, and it's why I offered up personal details if someone would have helped, but I've already got a plan, got the drugs, and got the time to do it just as soon as I get discharged from the nursing home.
I'll be discharged with a week's worth of dilaudid, so that's 350mgs, plus I'll have at least 5grams of T-PAIN, and possibly some heroin I will either cop or be given by all the residents who treat me like a princess in this shit hole. One dude just brought me a fuckload of candy, a variety of bags of chips, a fruit juice drink, and a pill of dope. I didn't do shit but give him a few cigarettes a while back, but he habitually brings me all sorts of shit from the store. I'm gonna hit everyone I can up for dope before I leave, just to add to my cocktail.
I've got some IV drip bags, dail-a-flows (the part they stick into the bag and connect to the IV, which should be treated as a sharp but they reuse and throw them in my trash can all the time because... Stupid niggers..), I have some 20 gauge needles, but I might be able to get some IV catheters so I can just start a site and hook up with my cocktail of opioids. If not I can always hit with a 20gauge needle in my femoral vein, and hook up, and once I turn that dail-a-flow to open, it'll drain that bag quick as shit, so even if I go out before it empties, I'll be good.
I've been depressed of course, I don't think anybody truly wants to die, th ey just don't want to hurt anymore, and they feel, or it's true that they don't have any chance of that changing. I thought I had a reason to keep going... I wanted to, but that's been taken, and I don't even know why... I wanted to keep going for that, but as far as I can tell, it's gone for good. I'm ready to go at this point, and I know the pain won't change, and only will get worse, as it has over the years... So, I'm ready to go.
FYI, I didn't just hang in tinychat to see what was going on, I left shortly after I lost my nerve. I was scared and I have social anxiety. I thought I could do it, but I couldn't. Plus, someone encouraged me not to, and at the time I thought it was the better idea to keep going...
This will be a relatively easy and peaceful way to go, and I might even try and get some benzos to help get me relaxed and to help the CNS depression.
Well, just letting you all know, I don't need help at this point. I just have to be patient, but not for a super long time. One more week or two.. A month at most... I'll make a post here when I'm ready to go. Took a while to come back and post since I've been really sick and it's been hard to do a lot and just physically and mentally draining to do anything.
Take care, everyone. Hopefully soon I'll be saying goodbye for good, and getting on the bus with Malice. 4 -
2018-07-27 at 6:20 PM UTC in Who wants hydromorphone dead?
Originally posted by Ensign §m£ÂgØL Not my fault you can't afford your own drug habit.
I don't need to afford my drugs. My insurance pays for that these days.
I am genuine and serious, which is why I am offering up information that will totally fuck my life if I don't go through with it.
I really don't care what drugs, just enough to do the job in a timely manner. Shit, what ever barnituate Malice used would suffice, just 100$ of fent would likely do the trick and was first thought since it had been advised to me so many times. I don't even like fent anyway and have said that many many times over the years.
I'm serious. I'm ready to end this miserable existence now. -
2018-07-27 at 4:21 PM UTC in Who wants hydromorphone dead?Good, I'm glad you're all here.
I would gladly render your wish my command, and die as quickly as possible, but that is a little difficult ATM.
If you want me dead, spend a little on some fentenyl from a darknet market for me to over dose off of, and I will do it live on tinychat. As insurance, I will provide a way to fuck my life over royally if I don't go through with it.
I would do this myself but being stuck here in the hospital and a nursing home since May... Its a little difficult to get money together.
Come on, §m£ÂgØL, captain falcon. You know you guys want me to die. Let's all be happy this way. -
2018-07-27 at 2:08 PM UTC in What prescribed control drugs are you using?
Originally posted by cupocheer Opiods?
10mgs dilaudid q4h.
800mgs Gabapentin q8h.
I get Tylenol too for these ungodly fevers I keep getting. Apparently I have another blood infection, shit in my lungs, and yeast in my blood to boot. Fun fucking fun. This nursing home is gonna kill me. I'm seriously considering leaving AMA.