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Posts by hydromorphone
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2017-12-07 at 6:42 PM UTC in Lanny's New ShtickThis is fucking retarded.
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2017-12-07 at 6:40 PM UTC in xmas presents are kind of stupidI definitely loath Christmas and this time of year in general (including Thankgiving, new years, etc- Halloween is the only holiday I really liked to celebrate ever), any holiday, or birthday too. If I want to do something nice for someone, then I'll just do it, why fucking wait for a particular day to do it? I'd rather give and be gotten for from the heart rather than some silly social notion that I 'ought to give or be gotten for just because of some stupid holiday of religious significance I don't even prescribe to.
Halloween has been the only holiday I found to be a good holiday. It's fun. There's candy. You an dress up as anything you want. Mostly, it's a very lighthearted event, with little pressure from society forcing this or that with it. That's why I liked it so much. An added bonus is that is pisses off a lot of religious folks who get their panties in a bunch thinking people are worshiping the devil and shit. -
2017-12-07 at 6:27 PM UTC in A beer... to get in the editorial spirit!
Originally posted by Sophie Where did this Clydesdale meme come from anyway?
It came from me mentioning having sex with someone who had pre-cummed like a clydesdale a while back. Weird sex has been on the kick that I was referencing 1337/bipolarhighroller, and had kept it up. I used to have a clydesdale stud is why I compared my sexual partner to that of a clydesdale- at least mine, and others I've witnessed while they masturbated (yes, stallions do that in captivity sometimes) had a lot of pre-cum, before ejaculating. -
2017-11-29 at 9:12 PM UTC in people have wrong views on injectionYou're right, we weren't designed to accept needles into our body, but the same can be said for a lot of things we do, and engage in, especially in medical practices. Just having stigmas about needle use doesn't help anyone. Some people choose to ingest their drugs in such a way, just like when you go to the hospital, why put in a line and IV me ativan, when you could just as easily give me a pill, just like you did with the percocet you gave me? (bring this up because it just happened). Personally, when I did IV, it was for two reasons: Bio-availability, and speed in which I got pain relief, which I think is what boils down to why most people who IV do it. If we lived in an ideal world, where anyone could buy pharmaceutical grade drugs, not be hit with artificial inflation as we currently are, and have access to clean needles, and unbiased healthcare (junkies tend to wait until shit is really bad before getting help, because of the stigma of bringing up shit with healthcare), then you wouldn't see so much damage being done. Too, a lot of people have to figure it out themselves to learn to IV before they learn proper technique, which also isn't helpful.
Originally posted by Bill Krozby I get what you're saying but you do have to realize, needles weren't meant to go in the human as its a foreign substance, but to each their own. I've done it plenty of times and shit does actually happen, I guess it just all comes down to how safely you do it and what you are shooting, I used to be a nursing assistant and a couple people would complain about how I was strapping the armband blood pressure monitor too tight because they had bruises from what they were doing, but I honestly didn't care or have any sympathy for them.
I've noticed a lot of meth heads in my area have a superiority complex, they think that because they are just smoking meth its all good and heroin users are trash and then a lot of those meth heads end up shooting meth or shooting heroin and die or something like that. -
2017-11-29 at 4:23 PM UTC in people have wrong views on injection
Originally posted by Madman If I run out of needles I'll clean them with bleach, then hydrogen peroxide, then water and I think that will kill everything but I'm not sure.
I liked to use rubbing alcohol (93%) too, if I did have to reuse them. THem not being sharp is what really does damage to your veins and make tractmarks. Use Silver Sulfadine ointment (it's RX, and usually given to burn patients, or those tryign to avoid scarring from an injury) use that shit every time and you'll never develop tractmarks. -
2017-11-29 at 4:13 PM UTC in people have wrong views on injectionI agree, I've bitched about the same shit for years. I felt a lot better when I was regularly giving myself IM B-complex shots. It's just a ROA, and if done properly, it's safe. The only real safety issue here is when not taking care of yourself (i.e. being clean before and after using needles) and IVing drugs which you don't know the potency, or what cuts have been thrown in there. This is how a lot of people overdose and has given people a stigma against needles with the war on drugs. Also, there's a lot of people who are just pussies anyway, and can't stand the thought or sight of blood, or sticking them self, or ignorant people who assume it'll hurt (which SubQ and IM can, but typically, IV shouldn't ever hurt if you use clean sharp needles and don't blow, or infiltrate). I lol hard when you have an opiate user who just snorts or smokes, then gets on their high horse and acts better than the guy who IV's their drugs. Bio-availability is another thing people don't understand either. Funny when people get bent out of shape when you tell someone to just shove it up their ass when they first cringe out about IVing.
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2017-11-28 at 5:18 AM UTC in Tanning is the stupidest fucking thing women do.I have to agree. Even bitches who shit out in the sun and shit. The only time I ever got tan was while working long days from sun up to sun down outside, when I was working with horses back in the day, or going to the spring or beach to swim. I don't like sunscreen on my skin, so I will get slightly tan if I spend time working or swimming outside, but it's not a purposeful thing. I would feel so stupid just sitting there trying to get a tan. I like being outside, and I like doing things while I am, so sitting still in hopes I'll be darker isn't a thing you'll catch me doing. I have pretty damn light skin anyway, and it takes a lot to get me darker. I'm lucky too, in that I only burn once a season, then I do start to tan, however slightly.
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2017-11-27 at 11:56 PM UTC in So, I just spent 9 hours being tattooed last night/morning.
Originally posted by RisiR † Bruh….
For my son and father, and to cover up this small shitty piece my ex did and had the same tat of. Tattoos aren't really important to me, so I was going to just remove the one my ex did with lye, but figured, yeah, I should just go ahead and cover it up with something that'd be special to me and be a tribute to my dad and son.
The motive of the tattoo.
Frankly, I think it looks bad ass as fuck and I'm happy with it. -
2017-11-27 at 11:44 PM UTC in So, I just spent 9 hours being tattooed last night/morning.
Originally posted by RisiR † What's the motive?
The death threats he got from someone pretending to be me? It all happened right around when PoC did some colossally fucked shit trying to fuck my life up even more, and was right around when I'd had to have interaction with my ex. I guess either of them could have done it. Apparently, the email hit was one in which I only had, he said he didn't give to anyone else. It was the same email on my prepaid card, to which he'd had a card attached to mine a long time ago, and used that email. I never changed my PW thinking my ex could only just check my balance, so... I never thought it was something to worry about. PoC decided to go nuclear and be a faggot because I wouldn't talk to him one day while I was dealing with seizures bad. I hadn't been talking with §m£ÂgØL in months. Had zero interest to do so, and the times of the threats being sent according to §m£ÂgØL, I was too fucking busy dealing with picking up the pieces PoC left for me, than to be worried about threating some faggot on the internet I had never threatened him before, not even after all the fucked shit he had done. I tried to help figure out who could be involved, during which we had a couple friendly conversations, joking around. He insulted me, and said some hurtful things, without remorse, unprovoked, so I said "yeah well, I hope who ever is threatening you follows through" or something to the effect, pissed off and hurt, and I blocked him. Then I got 3 emails back to back from him. Right before I blocked him, I said "No, I don't hope you die, I just want you to leave me alone", when he'd said "oh so you want me to die over insulting you?". I think I added something about I just dont care anymore what happens to him or something. When he first contacted me about it, I said I am damned if I try to help and clear my name, and damned if I don't.
I have no motive. I went months without so much as anything more than little bullshit bickering on TRT. I was with PoC, right before shit happened, and was reeling from the fucked shit he did. I'd also been spending a metric fuckload of time talking and skyping with 1337. I had zero reason to fuck with §m£ÂgØL. I just wanted to be left the fuck alone by him. Shit, when we'd had a falling out way before when I'd got with PoC, I got harassed a dozen times with skype calls from §m£ÂgØL, and all sorts of shit. I made that threat just complaining about him doing that. All I was doing was moving on. I didn't threaten him or give him any reason to believe I'd do anything to hurt him. I just saw hm for the shitty person he was and wanted nothing more to do with him. That was it. -
2017-11-27 at 11:18 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get Rekt, Faggot!I just got 7 stitches in my foot. Don't even know wtf I cut it on, but it was deep as fuck. They gave me ativan and percocet in the ER and were all bent out of shape about my heart rate.
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2017-11-27 at 11:13 PM UTC in So, I just spent 9 hours being tattooed last night/morning.
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2017-11-27 at 11:11 PM UTC in non violent trolling revenge ideasGo get those ball and jacks. Break off the round tips, sharpen, then throw around his car tires. guaranteed to land sharp side up. Almost assured to puncture a tire. Another one is using nails and a Styrofoam cup. Get nails and a cup the right size so they fit snug, and put a shitload of nails in different directions in the cup, wedged point to the sides, and roll that under a tire... another stealthy way to fuck someones day up.
I'll see if I can think of some others... I'm tired as fuck right now though. -
2017-11-27 at 11 PM UTC in So, I just spent 9 hours being tattooed last night/morning.
Originally posted by 霍比特人说中文不好 Maybe it would help if you did something besides prostitute yourself, send me death threats, and get half your back tattooed at once. I've seen the way you live hydro. How you respect your stuff, space, and body, is a direct reflection of the kind of person you are. I have said these same things about tattoos to others on the forum. Get over yourself.
I never sent you death threats. I fucking never fucking sent you shit, and the only contact I had was when you contacted me, besides a harmless prank (I didn't even do) months before, when I was high. I left you alone, and was happy with it nice and quiet that way. See, I was right, I was damned if I tried to help, and damned if I didn't. I tried to help, and as soon as you wanted to hurt me with personal insults, not even warranted, and I ended shit, blocking you, not even reading your emails, you're the one who wants to just say "yep, she did it". It was PoC or Stoney, unless you gave that email out. I didn't give any email out to anyone, but they're the only one's who could have had it (Stoney from the card, and PoC from when I was visiting and had my computer out.) I really don't know who did what, but I swear on my son's life, and everything I love, I did not fucking send you threats of any kind, nor did I call cops or anything like that. The only thing I ever said I would do you took as a threat was let yur family in on your mental illness, by showing the evidence of what I have. That was it. Like it or not, it wasn't even to hurt you, it was said hoping you'd get help. I didn't even do that though. I don't make threats to hurt people, if I want to hurt them, then I hurt them. I don't give two fucks about you, I just wanted to part our ways, and move on civilly if we had interactions on here. It just seems like you like drama and like to be the victim though.
It's fine if you have that opinion about tattoos, but that's not what you originally posted, or continued to post about, which was shit way off topic. What does me prostituting have to do with this at all? You don't even know if that's what I'm doing currently or not, which as of late, I haven't, I haven't needed to. Even if I was, why the fuck is it something to even be bringing up, especially here in this thread? With my health, at the time, it's all I could do to survive. Why does selling sex, to someone like you (you said several times, you'd fuck a whore, just you wouldn't want to spend that kind of money for pussy have) any bearing on my character or make me different from you? It bothered me because in general, I don't enjoy sex, and I have been sexually assaulted, but again, a lot of people do things and work places that thy don't like, and brings back bad memories. And again, you don't even have a clue as to what is tattooed to my back to be able to decide if it's trashy or not, you're just assuming because of the size, and because it's a cheap shot to insult me, like all you've done posting in this thread. The point I'm making is, none of that shit, your opinion of me, is even relevant to the thread, so why derail it, when you of all people have bitched about shit-posting and threads being derailed many times before.
Funny you should tell me to "get over myself". Why don't you get over yourself, and move the fuck on. Get off the cross, tear it down, build a fucking bridge, and get the fuck over it. All I am wanting here is to be able to make a thread and not have it hit up with personal insults when the thread has zero to do with anything you're insulting me over. It's to do with tattoos, experience with tattoos, pain associated with tattooing, and the art and meaning of pieces involved in tattooing, but somehow you go to I'm trashy, I should top prostituting (which I haven't been recently), and how I treat myself and my things. The only thing relevant was you saying you thought most tattoos are usually trashy. Does size specifically make a tattoo trashy? -
2017-11-27 at 10:15 AM UTC in So, I just spent 9 hours being tattooed last night/morning.
Originally posted by 霍比特人说中文不好 Why don't you pick on someone your own size
Didn't you bitch a while back, saying to the effect, this forum is going to shit for shit posting, infighting, and derailing of threads, and suggest there be a forum specifically moderated to foster intelligent discussion?
I get you don't like me, nor do I like you anymore either, which is unfortunate, but fine, but can we at least not shit up a serious thread? It's not like I come into threads you make and post in and start shitting it up with bullshit that's not even relevant to the topic. I don't like Bill Krozby either, but when he makes a serious thread, I try to stay on topic, and add something of value to it. I try to do the same with threads you make too. All you've done is try to hurl personal attacks, which in no way has anything to do with the thread, and tattooing in any shape or forum.
If you want to shit on me, can it at least be done in TRT, or a thread in which it would be relevant? I really don't understand you, §m£ÂgØL. I really do pity you that your life is so depressing you have to try and belittle an ex-girlfriend at every turn to make yourself feel better, and feel above whatever damage you incurred in our relationship. I hope you can move past it one day. -
2017-11-27 at 7:04 AM UTC in So, I just spent 9 hours being tattooed last night/morning.I would disagree with tattoos being trashy in general, though I do think there is a fair number of trashy tattoos in the world. What I'd consider trashy also varies from what you consider trashy, most likely. Recycled, regurgitated shit, poor quality, and retarded mistakes (be it placement/mispellings/poor design), and most importantly, poorly thought out, lack of meaning to that person is the highest degree of trashiness. Tattooing for the sake of tattooing is what I'd call trashy.
The tattoo I have on my arm, it has a lot of meaning to me. I would not change it for the world. I didn't have it there to endow decoration, or beauty, it's there as a reminder for me. It's not for other's enjoyment, it's there for a deep and personal reason. I may get it touched up, but in some ways, I like it being light, making it easier to keep to myself.
What's wrong with the location? or if I smoke or not? I mentioned it, because for someone like me who deals with anxiety, it was far more comfortable of an environment to be in than with some stranger, at a tattoo parlor, where I'd have to take a million cigarette breaks to get through for such a time consuming piece. My friend's boyfriend is a very good artist, and I've seen 30+ people with his work (I personally met them), and there was another after me getting done. He has been doing this for 15 years and is very professional about it. The choice of having half my back done had no bearing on my self worth. I had rejected several sketches he'd done, had tweaks to the finals, and made sure it was just as I wanted it. I chose to get this one, and this size because the final sketch I'd green-lit was so detailed, and would have looked shitty had it been smaller. I didn't let him cover half my back because he wanted to add to his portfolio, it just so happened that he did need larger, more recent works to help get the job for 3 others who wanted larger works done. I mentioned this because I know he was taking his time, and had the incentive to do a really great piece since he had so much money riding on this, since this piece will end up being the deciding factor for these people, and the only reason he didn't charge me more for this large piece is because of that, and that I'd been patient, and helped with a lot more than $60 since then. I don't think you understand, I'd been waiting for the right design since February/March, back when I'd given them money. He'd been working on and off with me on coming up with the right idea, right thing done how I wanted, with the ideas and details I wanted included, besides the broad original idea. I wanted something special, and I wanted it to be right, and to be meaningful to me, else I would have just gotten rid of the tattoo asshole did with lye and called it a day.
I just don't see how the convenience of the location, the size of the tattoo I have gotten, or it being part of a portfolio makes anything trashy. Granted, you're entitled to your opinion, if/when you ever see it, and that's fair, but what exactly was so trashy about my "attitude" in getting a cover up tattoo? You've made a lot of assumptions that just aren't true here. I'm really curious as to why everything to do with me, you spin negatively, and make every attempt to belittle. -
2017-11-27 at 5:59 AM UTC in So, I just spent 9 hours being tattooed last night/morning.
Originally posted by mmQ I do not have any tattoos due to the fact that I just don't really care and usually cringe at my past self so anything I got I'd probably regret. I've seen too many stupid ass tats on people to think is be any different.
If I ever get one it'll be a memorial or commemorative whatever the fuck it's called portrait of my late dad, but I would need to know I'm dealing with an artist that isn't gonna fuck it up.
Yeah, I agree, a lot of people do tend to make mistakes- thankfully mine was small, and very easy to cover up, especially with the size I got. Some people really don't think about what they're getting or the future, so smart move there. I'd definitely say it's better to err on the side of caution and get nothing than have a permanent regret.
I've never been keen on traditional portraits, or memorials, though I do like the idea of tattoos being such. The one I got is in sort of a way that, to my father and my son, I just prefer the more abstract representation. I don't like the idea of names on my body either. -
2017-11-27 at 5:34 AM UTC in So, I just spent 9 hours being tattooed last night/morning.
Originally posted by mmQ Its on your back. You want to keep your back anonymous? Just show it.
Yeah. I wear a lot of tank tops, and it's a custom piece. I might show it down the road, after it's done. Sorry, I'm paranoid, ad would rather be assumed a fat ass, than be identified by the wrong people in connection with this fringy ass site, at least at the moment.
You have any tattoos, MQ? If so, please share your experience/what they are/what they mean. -
2017-11-27 at 5:31 AM UTC in So, I just spent 9 hours being tattooed last night/morning.
Originally posted by 霍比特人说中文不好 Just when I didn't think you could get any trashier.
What the fuck is trashy about getting a tattoo on my back (anywhere for that matter)? You don't even know what it looks like. Shit, you even knew I was getting a tattoo a while back, we discussed it when we were on better terms. You had suggested I get a tattoo to cover up fuckhead's tattoo he did on me. I just really wonder why everything from you is this negative bullshit, aimed at trying to hurt my feelings? Nobody is attacking you, so why the shitty attitude?
I was just discussing my experience, and was interested in hearing about others experiences, since I'm sure at least some of you here have had tattoos. I was really surprised by the referred nerve pain I experienced during a brief part of the tattoo, wondered if others have had similar issues. I wondered what other had, and why they got them, among other things. I thought it would be an interesting and entertaining thread. -
2017-11-27 at 4:52 AM UTC in So, I just spent 9 hours being tattooed last night/morning.Was up from about 11pm to 8am getting tattooed. First big tattoo, done with a tattoo gun. Got it to cover up a small tat my ex had done way back, when he'd made a jailhouse tattoo gun. The guy who did it is my friend's boyfriend, who's an incredibly talented artist. He spent a long time working on drawing up what I'd wanted, something very personal, and meaningful to me. I initially wanted to to just be large enough to cover the shit tat he'd done, but he'd drew up such a beautiful sketch with a lot of detail, and he needed some larger tats to add to his portfolio that are new, since he's got 3 jobs riding on how this turns out, once the people see recent larger tattoos. It's covering half my back, the hardest part was just sitting for my back problems that long. I only had 3 breaks, which was maybe 5 minutes each, to stretch my legs. It was done in the living room of their house, so I was lucky I could smoke to my hearts content.
I'm really happy with how it turned out so far. It wasn't really painful, except for this dotting portion, which caused pain to spring up some distance away (like while tattooing on the middle of my spin, I'd feel nerve pain in my neck, or there's a spot on the lower part of my shoulder blade, which caused pain in my left tit), but all in all, it wasn't that bad. Halfway through doing the lines, I kept dozing off to sleep, since I'd been up and was tired as shit. The shading wasn't so bad as everyone said it'd be either. Next week we got a date to finish the shading and color, which is probably going to be another 8 hours. This tattoo ended up costing me $60, I'd paid, by helping out my friend months and months ago, though, it'd probably cost me a few hundred at best. I got quoted $250-300 for a tattoo only slightly larger than the one being covered up, with a lot less shading and detail at 3 parlors before I'd met my friend. It's very possible I'd be paying a grand+ if I'd got this done anywhere else, since it's pretty big, detailed, with a ton of shading, and I'm only half way done at the 9hour mark. Really happy my friend's boyfriend is a really talented tattoo artist, and willing to do some top notch work for really, next to nothing. I'm thinking about him working on something else in the future for me, and I might have him touch up, and re-do a self done tattoo I have as well.
Anyone else have any larger sized, detailed, heavily shaded pieces? What length of time did it take you to have it finished? how many sessions? Did it hurt? If so, where was it's location? Why did you have it done? was it custom, and if so was it your design or their design? What does it mean to you? Do you have any tattoos you regret? Who did your tattoo? a Parlor, a friend, yourself? What'd it'd cost you, and what was the time involved?
I used to be very against tattoos, and the ones I have have been self done, except the one I am covering up, done by after being manipulated by my ex, and has been really important for me to get rid. It's symbolic, marking me finally not being influenced by him anymore, and carrying around the shit from him, so I feel good about that. It wasn't until my horse died I did my first, which was a cut/rub in tattoo (basically, used a razor blade, cut deep to draw the image, and then rubbed in ink to the wound, kept it covered and let it heal). I was really upset, and just... I don't even remember cutting myself, and when I did see what was there, I decided I wanted it to be there forever. I tell people, it's not meant to be pretty, it's there to remind me of failing someone I love dearly. Soon after, this inspired my ex (who already had a couple bitch tattoos from when he was in his early 20's) to make a jailhouse tattoo gun out of an electric pencil sharpener. When he got it done, he came in, with ink on it, and buzzed a line on my arm, which I wasn't even prepared for, or knew wtf was going on. He had to "test" it. That's another spot I may get covered with something small. Later on he insisted he do a tattoo on both of us. I finally gave in and let him do it, which I did the same on his back (which btw, he was a total frigidity bitch with). I regretted it ever since. I really wasn't in a good headspace at that time when my horse died, so it was pretty easy to talk me into shit then. All in all, I'm really happy to have what I have now and put that part of my life behind me.
(I'd share pics, but I don't want to give up my anonymity I do have here. Sorry. If anyone else doesn't care, it'd be nice to see what you've got if you feel like sharing.) -
2017-11-23 at 5:38 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get Rekt, Faggot!
Originally posted by Wick Sweat Hydromorphone, I'm sorry I looked down on you. There has to come a time in your life when you look around and realize that you cannot judge another person. You can never know what another person has been through just by looking at them and I've only seen you one time on camera and as we know Tinychat is very low resolution. You can never judge a book by a cover at least that's what my dad used to say, before we became estranged, but that's another story entirely. Well actually I'll just start telling you. We've always but it has ever since I was a kid, I always felt a little bit judged by him or like he was going to go off at any second. I guess I can see a little bit of that in myself as I get older. Call me so I can make it juicy for you. When I was younger I would always say that I would never be like that but as you should know by now none of that really matters. I probably became worse overall but I feel like I am well on the Road to Redemption, not to toot my own horn. But anyway I never should have made fun of you for your long pointless dramatic posts like I did. It just wasn't right of me. The fact that you sucked §m£ÂgØL's dick when he was at his sexual prime shouldn't bother me. It shouldn't bother anyone, even someone looking to make you a romantic partner over the internet. If anything, that means it would be a sure thing that they would get a blowjob immediately. But what I'm trying to say is I appreciate all of you here, Captain Indian, you bring a great sense of Joy To The Forum and you inspire all of us to attempt to get rich or at least to portray ourselves as so. Mash Le Hash, you inspire me 2 thank God for my blessings. But anyway, Hydro, what happened between you and Fargo shouldn't divide us like it has, even though I've never liked you and I always hated reading your posts for the past 5 years at least. I really think that we should unify, after all they're only 20 of us left if that, actively posting on here, so I don't want you to have the wrong idea about the things that I used to say that you never read, because you were too busy writing shit like this, but essentially you need to take a long look in the mirror and see that you are the common denominator in all of your toxic problems, but I know you never will, and even 1337 is vehemently denying you like the Apostle Paul. I think that I would have to do the same, honestly once I realized that the fact that you don't know how to use paragraphs and you are old as hell, really solidifies the fact that it would be a bad decision to change my geographical location to have sex, though some might argue, well you are basically the person who talks about that the most, I would say it is not as a cautionary tale nor as bragging rights, but merely a sharing of my human experience, which despite not being so at the time, is a really dope set of memories to reminisce upon, if only because one knows they learned from them. Everything is forgivable if you can learn from it, and maybe everyone doesn't understand that because it's actually not necessarily true for everybody LOL. I was just thinking about myself and not thinking about others like Jesus taught me.
You've never really bothered me, my opinion of you is fairly neutral, and my only negative impression of you is you being like Bill Krozby in twisting things I've said, and continuing falsehoods.
I do think a lot of people would have a different impression of me if they understood more of my situation. I do not deny I have caused many issues for myself in the past, granted, but many too have been people going out of their way to fuck me over. PoC was a perfect example of this, and if you knew the truth, you'd definitely see my only mistake there was trust, which honestly, has been the biggest problem for me. I know damn well too I've done wrong, and caused many of my own hardships though.
I am not having sex with 1337, and as for him denying, yeah, he should, since it's not a thing we're engaging in. He's my friend, he's helped me a lot, I love and care about him a great deal, but he has his own thing going, and I have mine. Believe it or not, it really doesn't matter. For all my faults, I'm a good, kind, and loving person. I don't need to fuck my male friends for them to treat me good, and help me when I need it. I don't need to relocate to find someone who wants to fuck me, nor does 1337. Me relocating back there has nothing to do with 1337, it's where I grew up, it's where the people I consider my family live, it's where I want to be, and a bonus that him and I, two very good platonic friends, will be able to be closer than spending it on the phone or skype all the time.
You've never seen me cammed up on tinychat. If you've truly seen what I look like, then you've seen it from someone who has a picture of me. Out of curiosity, how old is "old as hell"? I'm 28. I never thought 28 was "old as hell", but what do I know. Sorry you have issues with my long winded posts, most the time when they're that long, it's because it's usually directed at someone specific, or because I'm using a stimulant, sometimes both.
I personally don't want forgiveness for my wrongs, or misdeeds, though I do agree, we can all learn from our mistakes and work toward being better people.