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Posts by hydromorphone
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2019-05-07 at 9:37 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro EditionCasper, what made you decide to give up using/selling dope? I can see why people get out of the game of selling, as you have to be perfect EVERYTIME, and not fuck up, but the cops only have to be right once to pop your ass. I also see why people stay in the game until they die or get popped, as I can imagine it's easy to get used to the money, and easy/cheap(er) access to good dope, not to mention, there are a lot of people who like the status being even a lower end dealer gets/always having "friends" around, feeling cool doing whatcha do and all.
I guess everyone has their own reasons for getting clean though. Just curious what yours is.
I wish to God I could just be normal, not having a monkey on my back everyday. I guess you still have a monkey on your back, so even if I was able to get like you, I'd still just feel fucked up about it, since I just wish I could live without ANY drug that will make me go into WDs if I don't have it, but I definitely am not knocking what you do. I'm genuinely happy for you, and glad you seem at least a bit happier than you were back then. It probably is better than being stuck like I am, I just can't do that shit.
Have you considered getting off that shit eventually too? From what I hear, it's harder to get off than heroin though. WDS are supposed to be worse from everyone I've ever talked to. I'll tell you this though, nothing beats T-PAIN, except benzos... maybe. It's close to being as bad as benzos, in my book. It also lasted forever, at least for me. -
2019-05-07 at 9:05 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by CASPER Thats pretty emo, brah.
I mean, you're the realist, so you should see where I'm coming from.
It's sad I don't have any pics of my kin/family more than anything. I lost everything when shit hit the fan. I'd much rather have pics of them. Why should I care if people remember me when I'm dead though? Fuck, most of you all remind me how much I'm not worth remembering everytime I post anyway. -
2019-05-07 at 5:11 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro EditionI have no pics anymore. Nothing. Nothing of any of my family or anything. There may be a few on some old hard drives I Have, but that's it.
It doesn't matter anyway. I don't want people to remember me when I'm dead. -
2019-05-07 at 4:48 PM UTC in Addict hospital lifehackYou sucking on it runs a risk of you getting an infection, endocarditis, and/or sepsis. Air bubbles won't kill you, especially if you can't see then in the line. Just thought I'd add that. YOUR MOUTH Is Filthy with all sorts of fucked germs. Getting that into your circulatory system is more an issue than a small amount of air.
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2019-05-07 at 4:45 PM UTC in Addict hospital lifehackThe small amount of air bubbles won't kill you. They actually inject saline with small air bubbles into people to check for a heart condition that could kill divers. It takes 10+ cc of air to kill someone anyway.
As for sublingually using bupe? Why? Is it really better that way? I'd think IV would be better... IDK anything about bupe though. I'd just IV my dilaudid through my IV/picc line though. Or collect the dilaudid from my PCA pump and get a healthy shot.
Why are you hospitalized? -
2019-05-07 at 4:40 PM UTC in Do you know literally anyone with a healthy relationship with their father?
Originally posted by Archer513 Dudes that don’t have a good relationship with their dads,usually because they are disappointing,loser,fags.
Think of all the time,effort,money and love put into some little prick that has an attitude,fucks off all the time playing video games and doing drugs. Sucking dick,wearing dresses and looking at kiddie porn. Wtf?
Seen the movie 'World's Greatest Dad'? I think that also was Robin Williams last movie before he offed himself too. Anyway, that's what I thought of when I read your post. -
2019-05-07 at 4:32 PM UTC in Do you know literally anyone with a healthy relationship with their father?My dad was my best friend. I was so lucky I had a father who raised me to be tough, and able to endure some of the fucked shit I've had to endure through my life.
I miss him so much, every single day. Not a day goes by that I dont think about him. -
2019-05-07 at 4:25 PM UTC in Guy gets sixty days for banging a beagleLook, I don't care if someone is having "consentual" sex with an animal (where the animal isn't being forced and/or harmed- there are those into beastiality who damn near worship then ground their furry, four-legged "partner" walks on, and they are treated better than a lot of people treat their girlfriends or wives.) But abuse of any kind should never be tolerated. They should fucking castrate and hang that nigger. I bet a lot who are into zoophilia wouldalso agree with me.
Check out their subreddit. It's wild lol. But hey, as long as they aren't harming, causing pain, abusing or neglecting the animal, then why the fuck should I care? Animals fuck in the wild, we breed dogs. Shit, some "breeding" boils down to down right rape anyway to get the horse or dog knocked up. That's why when they hand breed mares , they usually put breeding shackles on her hind legs so she won't kick and fuck up the stud. That's also why pasture breeding is better. The mare has more success rates because she won't let the stud breed until she can actually take in the estrus cycle. It also is better for both psychologically. -
2019-05-06 at 8:51 AM UTC in update on my homeless adventuresLOL, I told my friend about you assholes. He wants to post on here to "straighten your asses out".
He says you fucks should be worried that he's taking advantage of me, rather than me taking advantage of him. He thinks most of you are just spoiled yuppie fucks. -
2019-05-05 at 5:50 AM UTC in fuck australia
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2019-05-05 at 5:43 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
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2019-05-05 at 3:12 AM UTC in update on my homeless adventures
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2019-05-05 at 3:03 AM UTC in update on my homeless adventures
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2019-05-05 at 2:56 AM UTC in update on my homeless adventures
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2019-05-05 at 2:48 AM UTC in update on my homeless adventures
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2019-05-05 at 2:44 AM UTC in update on my homeless adventures
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2019-05-04 at 11:41 PM UTC in Hydromorphone and §m£ÂgØL need to get back together.I don't want pity from anyone. This is my life, and I made it that way, and I'm doing my best to fix it now. Getting away from toxic people was a huge step up.
I refused to let him do dope unless he got it himself, and figured out how to shoot it himself. I didn't want any part of him becoming addicted. I only gave him a tiny bit when he was legitimately near tears in pain, and was hesitant at that. I insisted he snort it only. I told him that he could never, around me at least, do dope more than 2 days in a row, and that must be under dire circumstances, with serious pain. If I ever would help him IV, he'd have to be near death. I don't want to cause him more problems. He's a good dude, but because he was too honest with the VA about smoking weed and his brief tango with crack cocaine a while back, a long with being in the psyche ward to get out of bad weather, they went treat his legit pain with anything more than tylenol. Fuck, all he wants is tramadol. They won't even give him that.
He's not using now, just that once, and unless he's bad off, legitimately, once in a blue moon, I won't be letting him use dope.
He just cares a lot about me, like a daughter. Nothing weird, nothing sexual.
I don't care what you all think. I'm not fat but if you wanna believe that then fine. In reality, I'm 150lbs now. Probably less now due to being sick and fucked up. I grew up being made fun of, so nothing y'all can say bother me. I know I'm attractive enough, enough men find me to be beautiful, so much so, a lot can't believe I'm homeless. Since I've been on the streets I've no need to prostitute either. Sure, I could likely make a lot more, but I do well enough panning.
I know I'm a good person. Sure, I've fucked up, I have issues, I'm not perfect, but I try to rectify my wrongs, learn from my mistakes, and do better in the future. I try to live going through life showing love, empathy, and kindness to others. I certainly don't use people though. When people do for me, they do because they want to, and I do my best to repay if I accept at all, and I have to be pretty bad off to accept in the first place. I definitely am no thief either. That's straight up bad karma and I take no part in it.
Difference between §m£ÂgØL and me is that I'll accept my wrongs, and won't shy away from the truth. He justifies his wrongs with "well, you did this.. so what I did doesn't matter or count", if not outright denying any wrong. He sure is too embarrassed to admit his shit publicly. He's also a liar, and has no honor. He doesn't keep his word. He will lie and make excuses for it (and I'm not talking about shit regarding him staying with me, or visiting, etc.) He's a coward pussy, and blames others for shit that truly would be impossible to cause or that developed prior to even talking to me. I just hope he matures, and develops morals and a backbone sooner rather than later.
Well, take it easy, guys. I got shit to do tonight. -
2019-05-04 at 7:20 PM UTC in update on my homeless adventures
Originally posted by Sudo Those glow sticks are made from radioactive Japanese sewage and you bum change off drunks. It really sounds like you're trying to justify your behaviour and painting a narrative to suit yourself. Do you get checks and food stamps too?
I don't have my SSD check yet. If I did, I wouldn't be panhandling.
I don't try to justify what I do. I just try to spread some joy, spread some happiness, do good, get good karma, and fuck, these rich yuppies walk around with hundreds, even thousands of dollars. They go out and run up 500$ bar tabs, for fucks sake. So what's the big deal if they decide to give a ten, twenty, or even a fifty, or hundred (had it happen a couple times on the fifty and hundred.)? It isn't hurting their pocket. Hell, I get fed too. I ate really good pizza (fancy awesome gormet pizza), and crab cakes from a place where they cost 30$ a plate. I always eat well up there. There's a Hispanic cook who likes me and he brings me awesome food every Friday and Saturday. I could go in and ask for food any day and be hooked up, but I don't do that shit. I'm fed too well as is, so well I often have to give food away to others.
People WANT to help me, and well... it does. More so than helping with managing my pain with dope. I don't get fucked up and nod out every time I shoot up (never really. I've only nodded when I've got unexpectedly good shit), and I don't smoke crack ever (never once have I and I plan to keep it that way.)I have money saved up for a rain day/to get life straightened out, so I'm good. My friend really helps too with his income too. He's saved my ash and I'm helping him manage his money better too so he can get his life better.
Originally posted by blaster master if the 1337 she talks of is the toothless goofless im thinking of this story just got incredibly rich.
No, 1337 is not toothless, nor Goofless. He's a pharmacist. He's got a life. He's a good person. Fuck off if you want to talk shit about 1337. -
2019-05-04 at 10:10 AM UTC in update on my homeless adventuresWhen I go to the bar areas on fridays and Saturdays (just got back a couple hours ago actually) I take glow stick bracelets (was picking flowers before but they aren't so plentiful now) that I can buy 20 for a dollar. I give them away. I don't ask for money, I just have my sign "Disabled and Homeless- can you please help? Thank you be blessed". (When I pan at the intersection lights I just tell people to have a nice day and shit while I hold my sign.) I wish everyone a good night, to have fun, and be safe. Many a night I've had to help some drunk bitch home or to her friends at the next bar up. I've saved a few from going to jail by calming them down, and helping them off the ground, or helping them not puke on themselves.
The guys who work at the bar really like me because I don't just sit with a sign asking for money, I actually just give something back and don't make people feel obligated to give me money, but if someone feels so inclined to "donate" then cool, and if they can't or don't want to, that's cool too. Dudes hit me off with 20s and shit. I made 89$ tonight. I got 2 twenties tonight, a ton of ones, 1 ten, and a couple 5s.
It's hard, but it's gotten a lot easier sleeping in a car and being driven around rather having to take buses or walk.
Love ya, 1337. Hope you're okay incase you read this. Love ya always, sweetie. -
2019-05-02 at 9:41 PM UTC in update on my homeless adventuresWell, I'm now living in a car owned by a homeless Vietnam vet who'd like literally adopted me as his daughter. He has a lot of health issues, and was told 18months ago he has 6months to live because of his aortic stenosis and low platelet count or something. He also has night terrors, but it's not too terrible. I just wake him when he screams in his sleep and tell him it's all okay. It's only happened twice since I've been with him, and before I was with him it was every night so I guess I have helped somehow lessen those bad dreams.
He's really a cool dude. He doesn't do dope (I did give him a TINY bit a while ago when he fell and hurt his leg bad, for the pain so he could sleep, but he doesn't do dope on the regular. Actually, he had only done dope once before I gave him that and it made him sick, so he didn't ever want to do it again, until he got hurt and I hard to convince him it'd help the pain, which it did.), years ago he had a bit of a run in with cocaine, but he only did it daily for about 6months and quit, and has no desire to fuck with it again. All he does is smoke weed. He's fun as shit to talk to, tell stories with, listen to stories he's got to tell (which he has A LOT of cool stories), and OMFG the people who have fucked me over, he's said "fuck them niggers! Want me to run them over? I'll probably be dead soon anyway, and you can just have my car, I'll sign the title over to you. " LMFAO. He was serious too. I told him no, they weren't worth it.
We got a room last night and today so we can shower, and rest up in a bed for a while. (We both have a bed, he's not interested in sex with me, thankfully.) Hell, too, sleeping in a car is so much better than on the ground or in an abandoned house. God, it's so much easier and less walking.
I'm doing so much better away from those leeching assholes who stole from me. I have way more money, and less bullshit. My friend I'm with now just gave me 150$ for dope today which was cool. I helped him get his service transferred to a new phone since his took a shit about 2 weeks ago. Saved him 60$ since he would have just got a new service card along with the new phone he bought.
Soon I'll have enough to get a room. Other shit will also be coming through soon too. Oh, and my friend has is social security and VA disability checks which definitely comes through to help me.
Yesterday we went out to this restaurant/diner I haven't been to since I was a kid. My dad and I used to go there at all hours of the night (open 24/7), sometimes at 2am to get chipped beef and gravy (also known as 'shit on a shingle') because they made the best. Oh, my God,all their food is soooooo good. I got an order of stuffed French toast and it was fucking awesome. I got it with blueberries. They had it with the blueberry syrup, and fresh, sweet, ripe blueberries on top the whipped cream, and the homemade pudding. It was fucking amazing. Their waffles were super good too. They had some super good batter. So crispy, sweet and tasty.
I will say, being out here, I do eat well. I get handed food from people all the time. I got Chinese food (chicken fried rice, lo mein, and egg rolls (although the egg rolls were no where near as good as the ones 1337 made). Some shit people literally just bought and decided to give it to me on the way home lol. It also got a hot ,whole cheesesteak sub someone just got and gave me, a long with an ice cold coke. One time, about a month ago, a dude gave me some fancy beers. I don't usually drink beer (1337 did turn me on to yingling though, but I rarely drink anyway), but they were... different, I guess. I took a few sips off one just to try it and gave the rest to this one dude who likes to drink.
I panhandle for a couple hours in the morning and make minimum 50$. I do it again in the afternoon and make between 35-60$. On the weekends I can fucking clear over 200$ in just the night. Same with game days too. Hell, I've had cops give me money too.
I won't be on the streets too long. This situation sucks, but I'll manage. My leg is getting stronger too.
Ive been getting my friend into panhandling too. Before he was scared because he grew up in this area, but now it's been overrun with yuppies. Anyone he knew is either dead, moved alway from being taxed out of their home or on the street too. Hes worked all his life, served in Vietnam (he lucked out and was stationed in the Mediterranean though). His stepfather best him terrible as a kid so he got a car and slept in it to avoid the abuse when he was a teen. Hes spent a lot of his life living out of a vehicle just because he didn't want to deal with bullshit from renting places or rooms. He also likes just up and going to visit friends he has in Ohio, or just... going somewhere, which I fucking love. I have enough dope, we just up and go. If I don't have enough money I've made, he just gets it for me so we can just go see cool shit.
Things have been a lot better now. It still isn't great, but... it is what it is. I still don't care if I live or die, but... I'm not actively trying to kill myself. I've got to know a lot of dope dealers too who will hook me up if I need it, and look out for me. Fucker who robbed me got the shit beat out of him by this one kid I do business with sometimes. I was shocked lol.