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Posts by hydromorphone
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2019-05-11 at 12:19 AM UTC in Where should I go?
Originally posted by Dregs Yeah sure. Only you have have chronic pain andd would understand. Only you have suffered in life..No one else. Right no one understands but you. Lmao clueless one
Y….you haven't live at all Definitely not on the streets. But thanks for the laughs wannabe hobo
Dude, I KNOW I'm not the only one. There are a lot if wheel chair bound homeless who suffer a lot with chronic pain. It's sad. It's sad that we live in a world where they push well meaning people who just want pain relief, to having to turn to the black market for that. I literally tell the one I'm fairly tight with who sell to me that they're my doctor, and truthfully, they've done more to help me, without charging me than my doctor could legally do.
Think what you all wanna think. Obviously, if you're in between killing yourself because of the pain, or using dope, well... I'm going to choose dope. Maybe I should just die, but that's my choice and that's what keeps me going.
What does it matter to you what I ingest in my body? I'm not sitting here judging you, you deal with your pain differently, and/or have a different level of pain, and cope better than I do. Whatever. Harm no none, and be happy. That's how I feel, so fuck off. You're the one passing judgements, not me. -
2019-05-10 at 10:51 PM UTC in Where should I go?
Originally posted by DietYellow I do. I have chronic pain. I used junk. And you get an absurb amount of dilaudid as it is. You get an appropriate amount of painkillers, but that isnt enough for you because your a junkie.
Dude, that was what I USED TO GET. They dropped me from 12mgs of dilaudid every 3 hours, down to 15mgs if oxycodone every 6 hours without even a taper. It makes more sense for me to sell the 15mgs oxycodone and buy dope.
You don't know everything about me, but you assume you do. Hell, if I was still on the dilaudid, I wouldn't fuck with the dope, not regularly, just for break through or when the pharmacy fucked up, like I did in the nursing home.
Do you realize I NEED a cane to walk, just graduated from a walker to the cane, and I can't walk long distances anyway even with the cane? My leg is fucked and I literally have a MRSA INFECTION that the best hospital in the country can't do shit about. I have blood clots, DVTs and PEs I'm dealing with too, right now. I can barely breath half the time, and both my legs hurt excruciatingly. Hell, half the dope dealers I buy from who have seen my legs will GIVE me shit if I come to them in pain without dope. They know how I hurt. They've seen me in pain, in tears. -
2019-05-10 at 10:41 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro EditionTramadol is shit. It can cause seizures too, especially at higher doses.
It makes me feel like shit. I used to give it away when I was 16 and had my poo-poo platter of narcotics. (Not that tramadol is or should be classified as a narcotic, but damn did I get a lot of scripts to fill. Shit I still have a pretty healthy platter of shit to fill now. I can barely walk, and not for long either. I do have MRSA still in my femur and
Knee too, so Id probably be dead without the shit I take.) -
2019-05-10 at 7:52 PM UTC in Where should I go?
Originally posted by DietYellow "I'm just gonna be a heroin addict for the rest of my life, at the old old age of 35 not even."
If you really understood chronic pain, and the relief opioids give/quality of life, then you would understand.
It's tiring to try to explain this to people, such as yourself, that don't care to understand or listen. -
2019-05-09 at 8:37 PM UTC in How many times have you been arrested?Never. I plan to keep it that way too.
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2019-05-09 at 8:31 PM UTC in Where should I go?
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2019-05-09 at 8:21 PM UTC in Where should I go?I've been thinking of going back to Florida, but California has also crossed my mind.
I wanna get out of the north before winter comes again. My fucked up bones can't take it anymore.
What do you all think I should go? I don't think I'd have too much trouble finding dope in CA, and well, if I went to Miami, not an issue there, however, price might be a factor to consider. -
2019-05-09 at 7:47 PM UTC in Cant we just stick to weed?
Originally posted by Thotgirl I dont like pain pills i am legit in pain inherited my moms issues. She used to take them by the handful. Problem is too where im at so many abuse them that my dr only prescribes just enough for every two weeks on the lowest dose possible. Even half a pill knocks me out. They also constipate me badly.
They had me on a lot of pain pills when I was 16 for my herniated disc.
When my knee/leg got fucked up (I have a MRSA infection still in the bone, osteomyelitis, that they can't get rid of. Spent most of last year in Hopkins.) I was on 12mgs of dilaudid m every 3 hours.
I now use heroin. Opioids have always motivated me rather than put me out. -
2019-05-09 at 7:20 PM UTC in Cant we just stick to weed?I wish weed worked for the sort of pain I'm in, an for me, I don't like getting "couch-lock", and being unable to get up and do shit. Opioids help me feel motivated, and they don't knock me out.
Everyone is different. -
2019-05-09 at 7:14 PM UTC in update on my homeless adventuresDude, thotgirl, I panhandle, and I eat better than ramen noodles. Wtf.
On an average day, I usually eat at least 3 square meals of some high end food from some over priced yuppy resturant. I get a lot of lamb and curry from this one place. Good as fuck. It's 17$ on their menu. -
2019-05-09 at 1:56 AM UTC in Friends, my penis is officially brokenDrugs aren't all that we need, however they do have a track record of helping cure, fix, and improve the quality of life for numerous issues.
If mq went to a doctor, I'm sure a fair number of them would first think low Testosterone first off. Some may try to push a shitty SSRI though, but any doctor worth his salt should check his testosterone levels first.
There is testosterone itself, however there are certain drugs which stimulate the body to produce testosterone. Using testosterone can come with its own risks and side effects, which is why I suggested trying something that stimulated production, as that may be a safer route. Either way, there isn't much one can do other than using the hormone, or drug that stimulates production. I imagine there are herbs and such which might work, but I do not know enough on that to begin giving suggestions there.
His best bet is to get his testosterone checked. Then go from there, and do research on the best course of action if I am correct on the imbalance he has. -
2019-05-08 at 7:07 PM UTC in update on my homeless adventuresDude, he helped me once, an I paid him back. Since then I've put gas, bought/brought all kinds of food back, and given dope when he's ASKED me for some, and to that I would only give him some when he was really hurting. Since then I've refused to give him any as I don't want him to develop an addiction.
He's done me the good of getting out of the weather and off con Crete to sleep on. Hell, just the other day I bought some tools to work on his car (we need to replace the break pads, and do an oil change), and gave him money to go toward insurance.
I carry my own, and fuck, I bring in as much, if not more a month than his checks do. I know, dollar for dollar, I've put more toward shit than he has. -
2019-05-08 at 6:59 PM UTC in Friends, my penis is officially broken
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2019-05-08 at 4:46 AM UTC in Do you trust anyone?
Originally posted by STER0S what kind of secrets
None I'm going to tell you. The only secrets I'll confide shit to is going to be an animal, a dog or horse or something, like I used to. They were loyal and took my secrets to their grave too.
Think about it... Malice could have been a dick and revealed them right before he offed himself... but no, he was fucking COOL, loyal, and a TRUE NIGGA.
I'm really sad now. I miss Mal-Mal... -
2019-05-08 at 4:43 AM UTC in Friends, my penis is officially brokenDo a search on online pharmacys that are reputable and have decent prices. Find forums for body builders and shit. They know a lot about steroids and where to get them and how much they cost, etc. There are also RCS available that stimulate your own body to make more Testosterone, seemingly without so much risk too, from what I recall reading, and what Malice had posted.
I found out so much and did research trying to help my lazy as fuck ex get off his ass, and stop bein so depressed, as he claimed he was, which he probably was to an extent... but he's still a lazy piece of shit asshole. He still didn't do shit but play games all day when he used the Testosterone. He claimed that the Testosterone helped with like 90% of his T-PAIN withdrawal when he used it once while going through that.
All I can say though is that there was a marked difference in his behavior, and attitude once he used it.
Anyway... I would definitely do more research on it (look, I'm not Malice, I don't have sources on research papers to cite, or sources to purchase from to give, it was years ago when I ordeed the shit). Trying the RC that helps your body make Testosterone may be a wise choice to try first before actual steroids, but read and check out forums for that kinda shit and find out. I think that would help you a lot. -
2019-05-08 at 3:46 AM UTC in Do you trust anyone?
Originally posted by Malice You could trust me, unless you crossed me or I wanted to fuck you over for my own amusement, if I wouldn't face serious repercussions.
At this point in my life I literally don't speak to anyone unless necessary. I'm probably averaging less than 10 words a month to the odd cashier or bank teller.
Malice died with a lot of secrets of mine.... man, this makes me sad thinking about him being gone. I miss him a lot. The forum isn't the same anymore. -
2019-05-08 at 3:40 AM UTC in Friends, my penis is officially broken
Originally posted by mmQ I mean in general om fine with it. Like, I dont care about fuxking . Obviously in the right circumstance I do, but mostly, I dont.
And that's not me
That's not the real me.
But maybe it is now.
Like ove said before when I DO fuck , after I cum, I instantly dont care about sex anymore. Like HATE it.
Yeah, but it can help with more than sex, it can help your mental health. Low Testosterone can cause severe depression, and lack of motivation. It could help improve your overall health and happiness. -
2019-05-08 at 3:32 AM UTC in anyone here ever gotten their organs checked?
Originally posted by Common De-mominator How do you know they weren't fake? They just put you in a whirry tube and showed you some shit that you can't even recognize, told you what was wrong with it.
It's called science, dude. If you knew the mechanism of how it works you'd understand. I recommend you Google it and learn. I can tell because there are things on the images I've had (x-rays, CTs, and MRIs with and without contrast, mainly due to my MRSA infection in my leg and osteomyelitis/infection within the bone and marrow of my knee and femur) that are like a fingerprint (the way parts of my body form, size, and other things I know about myself, and how it's shaped, and pretty unique to me that would be un likely to be someone else.)
So yeah, I've had my organs checked. (They checked my spine for infection too). I've also had echo cardiograms for my heart. I have a thoracic aortic aneurysm... that's pretty telling to me, not something every other person has, and I have a pretty large one. 4mms I believe it is when it was last checked. That's actually what will probably kill me tbh. -
2019-05-08 at 3:18 AM UTC in Friends, my penis is officially brokenYou may have low testosterone. It starts decreasing in men at 30, I believe.
Malice wrote about it years ago. It happens to a lot of men. Hell, especially to men who've been on opioids for years and years. I seen a marked difference with my piece of shit ex of 11 years when he took the testosterone I had ordered from an online pharmacy malice had recommended. The only problem was is that he went overboard and began taking a shit ton of it ,and not cycling it properly, then he became and even bigger piece of shit asshole nigger, and being way more aggressive, and rapey. He was always rapey, and hell, raped me for at least 8 years in my sleep, but it got a lot worse then.
It could help IF DONE correctly. Just a thought... one are dear old friend Malice would approve of. -
2019-05-08 at 3:10 AM UTC in Addict hospital lifehackJust so you know, you can just re-program the infusion when they leave, on the infusion machine. I would do it all the time on my IV antibiotics to speed it up, especially when it was a 3 to 4 hour infusion and I wanted to go out and smoke without dragging the pole around with my wheelchair.