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Posts by hydromorphone
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2016-03-13 at 1:50 AM UTC in ATT: Crazy Mike and/or SophieBill Krozby, I really dont give a fuck what you think. I know damn well I look better than the trash you fuck on a regular basis. Who was there to watch my baby while I worked? I worked all through my pregnancy and kept believing the shit my exhusband said about taking care of us so I could have some time to bond with my child. I got work shortly after he left on a whim. I live in an area also that has very few jobs. i supported myself and that piece of trash for a decade, so dont give me shit about not working. The only way I found to work was by having these random people watch my son. Shit is so insanely fucked up, I cant even get cash assistance for him, or childcare. Ive looked into it, jumped through their hoops. I am stupid- no lying there. I made a lot of bad choices that amounted to this, but as of late Ive been trying to make the right choices to fix this mess... time... if Id had just a few more months before all this shit hit the fan I wouldnt be so bad off. You fail to realize I am a person with a lot of health problems. I suffer with chronic pain. I have an anyerism in my aorta, I have a herniated disc, two torn miniscus in my knees. Im not a well off person with my health and now the icing on the cake with having a heart attack. Atleast my son is with good people now, he doesnt have to be bounced around and is getting all the stuff he never had before. When he was born I couldnt even afford diapers, so we had him in cloth diapers. Hes had very few toys and cloths all of which were secondhand or give to me. The one thing I put my money to was feeding him raw goat milk when I couldnt breast feed any longer- his health is more important than all the other dumb shit people buy for babies. Ive worked my ass off to make sure he has the basics, but as a single mother, its hard. I dont want to be with anyone- Ive had propositions, Im not a bad looking woman. I just dont want that. The only reason I was trying to make it work with §m£ÂgØL was because I loved him. if I wanted to use people I could, but thats not my nature and it doesnt sit right with me to do shit like that.
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2016-03-12 at 11:33 PM UTC in ATT: Crazy Mike and/or SophieI pulled a gun because I got tired of being raped, abused and working my ass off sick as a dog while everything was being neglected while I supported a piece of shit who would not leave. Everyone has their breaking point. Why do you think that fucker wouldnt leave even after a gun was pulled? Because he loved me? No, because he didnt want to be homeless and why would he be? because he didnt want to work and had nothing to move with and blamed that on me. Im in this situation because after the baby was born I couldnt work. I wasnt even sure Id be able to have got the jobs Ive had now since I had no childcare at the time. so, what if Ive got two lesbians caring for my baby? They arent bad people and with the aituation as it is, its better than here. he is being spoiled rotten by them. working as I am I barely see my child anyway and hes with all sorts of degernate assholes I barely know... hes better off where hes at now. I dont want pics posted of my child, who as §m£ÂgØL even stated, blue eyed and fair complected because of my exhusband and possible other court shit. As for being his son, my child has pectus excavatum- a highly heriatable condition which §m£ÂgØL has. He took after me in looks and looks exactly like my dad as a baby. I really dont give a fuck what yall want to say- I know why I did what I did and if everyone knew hoe it was, I dont think anyone here would blame me for becoming so desparate- nobody wants to advertise they are in a relationship they cant escape and are being raped and abused. Go in TRT, §m£ÂgØL made some posts before he started shit talking me backing up what Ive said. I know one thing, I was good to §m£ÂgØL. I tried to do right, and this is almost a year after that incident he eas involved in while I was pregnant, I was nothing like I was when I was being abused and used by my exhusband. I did everything to try and make things work while he cried and bitched. Hed hallucinate me calling him a piece of shit, which onnmy childs life, I never said. Hed hallucinate text messages, even voicemail one time... alwayshe feared Id treat him like the rapist and abuser I was with... I never did. I was trying to heal and be a better person, and you know, I was. I was trying, struggling to be positive in this hell.. I was working, I was doing tomake it right, I just needed some help tomake it work the way we both wanted. A relationship cant survive throughttext messages alone when one party is hallucinating and taking shit a totally other way than ment to be. I had to walk on egg shells and even being careful how I worded shit he still would take shit the wrong way. As for dying, yeah, I hope so, but I did have a heart attack about a week ago so Im hoping I do finallyjust kick the bucket.my health hasnt been good for a very long time, hence my propranolol use- its not a drug you take to get high, its for my rapid heart rate Ive had for a few years. Ive mentioned it many times over the years Ive posted in TRT..
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2016-03-12 at 10:51 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionI need about 4-15k for my life to notsuck so much. This guy who bought the property said he mightbhelp me out- found this MH in a good location down south for 15k cash. He drug me on a few days before he decided to tell me he had his money tied upelse where and couldnt help me out. I was gonna end up paying 30k. In under 5 years. Then found this other place... its 4k move in for owner fin. At 350 a month. What makes it all hard is my dogs. I wont abandon them. They been there for me when noone else was, when this spic tried to come in who was convicted of rape and b&e tried to get in my home and forced me to pull a gun (I found this all out later because that douchebag couldnt even respond to me). Life sucks. Money sucks and I am fucked big time. Ill probably have another heartattack and die or Ill just get the balls to eat lead... who knows. Yall should start making bets now. A couple of yall have my info to verify what eventually happens.whatever happens though Im sure it wont be pretty.
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2016-03-12 at 9:38 PM UTC in You ever seen a picture or video of yourself and thought you looked like a fag?I didnt read all of the post and certainly didnt read well into what I skimmed but what lanny said about masking symptoms and not having the condition... people learn to cope to be able to survive life. I believe my grandmother would have had some degree of autism had she been diagnosed this day in age. She learned how to be friendly with people and deal with people even though she didnt give a single fuck about them, or really understand others emotions outside her own. She did this because in order to make it through school she had to cheat. She often would say she was stupid or unable to comprehend things but I saw her as being just lazy and going the easier way of letting others do her work, and just skimming by rather than taking the time to understand things because it 'hurt her brain'. She was actually a fairly intelligent person, who just found it easier manipulate people to do stuff for her under the guise of being stupid and needing help when she was just too lazy to apply herself to learn stuff unless she really really had to. People learn to cope with life like that. Again, like I said, she was emotionally immature person, who had not a real idea of how anyone else but her felt... this is a woman who would accuse people of being spiteful to her for forgetting to take the trash to the dump, or forgetting to hang her shower curtain back in the exact way she had it hung up if they used her shower (she wouldnt let it srape down like normal people, rather she had it thrown over the rail so it wouldnt touch the tub... if you forgot to put it back like that it was an assult on her, done purposefully to be spiteful in a passive agressive manner, just as she expressed her emotions). but in a nutshell what I think malice ment about 'masking' is actually coping- just like people who dont have arms or legs learn to cope, or wheelchair people learn to cope- sure, they have no arms, or legs but some of them folks learn to walk on their hands or use their feet to grab things, and somewheel chair bound people still manage to play baseball, drive cars and do all sorts of shit you wouldnt think right off they would be capable of doing due to their handicap.
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2016-03-12 at 8:41 PM UTC in ATT: Crazy Mike and/or SophieAlso, I dont want any 'life advice' from a pedophile or poppytea addict, thats not why I posted this thread. Its to do with something else.
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2016-03-12 at 8:29 PM UTC in ATT: Crazy Mike and/or SophieI dont give two fucks about the shit you posted, tort. If I offed myself it certainly wouldnt be because of that, Ive seen it before. As for being a 'fuckgirl' or 'whore', Ive never had sex with anyone but my husband for a decade- he brought up having the threesome, not me. I never cheated, ever, with anyone. I havent even had sex with anyone since my husband left and I have no interest in having sex with anyone. I know who the father is, and yeah, its §m£ÂgØL, and I have his name, address, and several other important pieces of information I could probably use to fuck him over with, but Im mad at him, just really, really hurt. When I was pregnant, dealing with neglect and abuse from my exhusband, yes, I was a ragging cunt. I pulled a gun on them both because I just wanted them both to leave. I couldnt handle it anymore. My husband left the one night, then drug his lazy ass back and begged to stay, §m£ÂgØL just begged for there not to be conflict. I wanted to adopt the baby out, but both of them went against that and fucked with my already fucked mind telling me not to on several occaisions. When §m£ÂgØL and I were 'together' I guess, I cant really see that I did anything wrong but try to be supportive, try to be positive, try to keep working this fucked shit to make shit work for us. He has schizophrenia and he hallucinated a lot of shit or would twist text messages into a way I didnt mean, or say they had 'venom' when... that was furthest from the truth. I contacted his family about my son, tosee if they wanted to ever have custody of him with me out of the picture (part of that last letter was saying 'I cant be in ** life because youre in his life') he answered his mothers # and threatened to call the cops and DCF on me. So, the only way else I had to contact her was via LE, they lied and didnt deliever the message about her grandson so.. they found out later. They dont want anything to do with him. Thats okay, Im not going to push my son into a bunch of people who will hate and resent him like those people. My exhusband did sign the BC, but I am working right now, as we speak to remove him off the BC because hes an abusive, pedophile, liar. That was §m£ÂgØLs biggest fear because he was worried that not I, but my exhusband would tell the courts who the father was and theyd just take his word, rather than mine. Thats whats was the last thing we talked about before I got the email cutting me out of his life- he wanted me to keep my exhusband on the BC and jepordize him having custody of him just so he wouldnt have to ever face childsupport caused by my exhusband 'dropping his name'. I wasnt going to do that and risk my son ever being with that peice of shit. Look,Im having heart attacks and shit now- Im probably going to die soon not even of my own hand, just from my shitty health, why would I risk my son going to a pedophile, fucktard like my exhusband? I wont, not for some scared little boy who still lives with mom and dad. Im alive here trying to get the BC changed and let him go anywhere but with my exhusband. Right before he cut me out of his life, §m£ÂgØL begged me to go to work when I had pnuemonia last month and just said I decided not to go, because I just fucking didnt want to keepgoing with the shit anymore, he went on that he was going to take this opportunity, he was going to try this out with me, and try to make shit better. Then I get an email saying Im being cut out of his life, have a panic attack at work, almost lose my job, all while not even being able to breathe right, my lungs are packed full of phlem and shit, I was at the ER a few days before and diagnosed with pnuemonia (chest xray)... my life just sucks and Ive been doing so much solely alone... and if he wants to say how much of a ragiing cunt Ive been, he sure as fuck took the kpins I sent, the xmas presents and other shit I sent him. I tried so hard to do right by §m£ÂgØL. I tried so hard to make shit work, but it cant work when hes going to be a scared little manchild living in his parents place because hes too scared to take the mildest of risks. Im really not a psychobitch in real life, and not to brag or anything... IRL, Im probably one of the nicest and most generous people youll ever find. It takes a lot of shit to get me reiled up. Im a giver, not a taker. §m£ÂgØL couldnt even hold a job and blamed me for quitting it when he was in T-PAIN withdrawals. Ive held a job through so much more shit, and its been a pain in the ass doing it alone. Im telling you, and him, if hes reading this- §m£ÂgØL is schizophrenic. I can see him destroying so much of his life from his irrational fears, hallucinations and paranoia. I hope he finds a way to cope and be happy, and I mean that. Last I spoke to him he said that 'I killed him'because of me being in his life... I cant figure how since his life is exactly the same before we ever met, mine is the only one that is fucked up and completely unfixable due to him being in my life. I fucked up, I know.. just it is what it is. (Also if youre wondering how I have my exhusband on theBirth certificate and no child support, its because it takes 6months to a year to get it to court according to childsupport office here in florida).
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2016-03-12 at 10:09 AM UTC in ATT: Crazy Mike and/or SophieIve only been back to work Since December and dont think I even broke even the month of Dec. While working at a dollar store stocking because the people 'helping' took advantage, but I made it because I sold my horse trailer for practically peanuts compared to its true value, but it got me through that month. Then I began working as a waitress. I make 5.05 an hour plus tips. We dont get overtime unless we work more than 40 hours a week (unlike in some states like MD where you get OT after 8 hours a shift). Some nights I dont even make min. Wage because its slow- the last night I worked I walked out with 12$ in tips after a 10 hour shift. Too many servers working, sime niggers dont tip because they are cunts or have no concept of gratuity (so many people Ive talked to dont realize servers dont make regular min wages), and sone people are just straight up asshole niggers. I havent been able to save very much taking care of the baby alone- I dont get child support, nor cash assistance. Ive only been here since January 5th anyway. DCF (or CPS), they dont have my baby, friends of mine down south have him. They are good people Ive known forever and have fostered a fuck load of kids and kknowing my situation they brought it up to help me out. They kinda took him under their wing as their adopted grandchild and her daughter whos been taking care of him the most with her lesbian wife (my baby has come to call her daddy lol) have been spoiling the fuck outta him and spent about $100 worth on clothes, bottles, and toys... I miss him soo fucking much. I love that baby so much, but this is best for him. Met this homeless guy at work a few nights ago, he was gonna have to sleep in the bushes since he had no where else to go soI told him to go take a nap in my truck tilI got off work. He was headed down south and I was gonna go in a few days so I let him stay at my house. Hes been helping out and all... and has said hes gonna help me get stuff together, get moved and help me find a place... hes been a huge help and came back with me. This is strictly platonic, but hes been a real good guy. Anyway... thats about it... met him a few days after my heart attack.
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2016-03-12 at 6:30 AM UTC in ATT: Crazy Mike and/or SophieMy baby actually has blue eyes, light skin (Malice can verify this, but out of respect for my child, Malice, please dont post pics of him, thanks) and I not quite that much of a fat ass, nor do I have that many trailers on my property, but I know a place not too far that actually looks like that. Im gonna be homeless soon, my baby is gone, and my health is fucked too since Im having heart attacks and shit. Life sucks... but what can you do. At least §m£ÂgØL and my fucked piece of shit Exhusband got off scot free for having to care for a baby and instead let me foot all this shit myself while working night shifts, and busting my ass. Hey, Sophie, thanks. TTYL.
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2016-03-11 at 8:57 PM UTC in ATT: Crazy Mike and/or SophieGreat email though my need for chemistry related questions is beyond that, Ive had a needle in my arm a few times today, so Im good with chemistry related information. Its about something else.
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2016-03-11 at 5:01 PM UTC in ATT: Crazy Mike and/or SophieI wanted to talk to you guys about something off of here. My email is chemicalcosmonaut at google mail. Pms dont work around here so shoot me an email. Thanks.
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2016-03-10 at 10:24 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionAlso, for the record, even though Ive been thinking about getting stims- other than taking caffiene now and again at normal doses, I havent taken any stims. I still got a baggie of coke this other guy gave me, trying to get in my pants (unsuccessfully). Its not much, but Ive been hanging on to it for a while- then I had the heart attack so... I probably wont be doing that, shit is painful when your heart decides to fuck up. Im sure its not too long before I die of natural causes anyway, Im 27 and my health is shit, but my luck is itll be the most painful exit imaginable. Cant even die in peace.
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2016-03-10 at 10:13 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionMalice, that guy turned out to be an asshole and no, I didnt move in with him. I had a heart attack last week and have no clue wtf Im going to do on the 15th when Im supposed to be gone by. Shit keeps getting worse and worse. A bullet to the brain keeps looking like a better and better option since I dont have the baby to worry about. My life sucks. It wont get better and Ive accepted that, but part of me keeps hoping something will happen to turn this shit ship around. Money is the root of all evil and the reason so much shit is so fucking hard. Ive still been working- actually walked out after the chest pain stopped and people werent paying so much attention to me to be chased by this lady saying I cant leave, and I told her 'watch me'. Broke down on the way home that day and was stuck in town for hours until I could get home when a friend finally called me back. If it can go wrong, it will go wrong. This homeless guy I took pity onhas been staying with me a few days and helping me pack and look for a place. My life is so fucking dysfunctional. Id like to just die now. I wouldnt have went to the ER save for the intense pain in my chest.
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2016-02-07 at 11:11 PM UTC in I will no longer be posting on this website.Also, does no one read- Id have handed this child over three days ago if my stupid faggot exhusband wouldnt try to take custody. Sure, he doesnt get text messages threatening shit or shit on FB and certainly never believed me but I know that fucker, he would, given the chance, take my son and abuse him. This is why its so important I file to have him removed from the BC.
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2016-02-07 at 11 PM UTC in I will no longer be posting on this website.Im doing everything in my power to hand this child ovwr to someone and have it not be my pedophile exhusband. §m£ÂgØL asked if we could have a relationship and promised that if it didjt work it wouldnt ruin a friendship. I was guilted a number of times to not give this child away when I talked to §m£ÂgØL because then he wouldnt be able to be in this childs life. He wanted all the good shit having other people raise his child, get to visit, without any of the hard shit, like actually raising the baby or doing anything supportive. he may say I woulsnt have done it, but when my mind was decided and I was serious, he broke all that down with guilt. Once this child is gone from my life, its game over. I cant even keep a fucking friendship. He fuck my mind up with all this shit and made it all way worse than it had to be. I love this child so much and handing him over will be the hardest thing Ive ever had to do. As for someone with my PI calling, Ive been threatened so much by §m£ÂgØL it doesnt matter. I dont care. I just dont want a pedophile to have custody, and Im serious about giving him up else I wouldnt have tried to contact his family. I plan to end my life after that. Im going to the court house tomorrow morning to petition to examine paternity. Btw- my hair isnt black, its reddish brown. this childs hair is the same color as my hair was when I was young. I have blue eyed people on my side, obviously Im heterozygous for blue eyes. §m£ÂgØLs dad has green eyes, and its def possible he carries a recessive blue eye gene. Also, my child has pectus excavatum- something very heritable and §m£ÂgØL has that. As for him not doing any drugs- fucker is eating a whole kpin script as we speak. I know, I sent it to him and this is why hes all fucked. Once they run out his happy fuck you trip will be over, but Illd be dead and wont be there to tell him everything will be alright. It doesnt matter. Im done struggling. I could have made good money sucking cock and not had to kill myself working these fucked up jobs just so he could be in my life. I was waiting for him to be able to come down to help me, holding out hope. Well, thats over and so is my life. §m£ÂgØL and his family can decide if they want to raise a baby.
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2016-02-07 at 12:26 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionIm only breathing for my son at this point. Nobody else. §m£ÂgØL fucked me up bad. He even lied and said I fucking caused all his shit. He would stay home because he was scared about OUR FUTURE, not because we had an issue going on. I worked my ass off to make life so it could be good for us. I cant do it no longer. This is the final heartbreak im going through. §m£ÂgØL is the person who killed me, not my husband, though I thought it would be him..
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2016-02-07 at 12:24 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionI dont need nor want help. The only person on this planet that could help me is §m£ÂgØL. He wont though. He gives no fucks. i wont be around much longer. His family knows and I asked if theyd want to raise their grandchild. Im waiting on a reply back. If no answer, Im just saying fuck it. Ive been hurt too much and you know maybe him being raised by my ex wont be so bad. §m£ÂgØL believes he will put him for adoption anyway so we can hope for that. Im giving until this afternoon.. maybe.. I dont know. I want to die now.
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2016-02-07 at 12:17 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionLook, PoC, Im sorry you took my comment the wrong way. It was more a joke than anything and it didnt come out right. I wont leave my animals to starve. I had tried to talk to you, but I felt like I was a bothermonths and months back. I never even got a reply so I left it as you didnt want to talk to me. Im sorry. I love §m£ÂgØL. I love him very much. Stillnow, even with his lies and hurt hes put me through, I love that man. He will realize what he lost and by then itll be too late. Im just finding a good life for my child, thats all. My animals.. well, theyll be okay. I just cant keep going any longer. Im dead inside and §m£ÂgØL this morning had to twist the knife and spew lies. Now his family knows.
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2016-02-07 at 11:36 AM UTC in I will no longer be posting on this website.Please I am begging you tomcat. Pkease dont do this to me. Dont fucking destroy me. Im going to wait today, and if you cant so much as call me, Im leavingbthis baby at his sitter, letting a child molester take him because im broken after what you did to me.
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2016-02-07 at 11:33 AM UTC in I will no longer be posting on this website.Youve killed me. Youve fucking destroyed me becsuse youre so selfish yiu coukdnt not abuse the shit I sent tobhelp yiu. Yiu coukd fkush it the other day like I begged you. Yiu fucking treated ne like scum on them when all I did eas love and try to do for you.
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2016-02-07 at 11:25 AM UTC in I will no longer be posting on this website.Look at what youve let your paranoia and mentslshit do to us.. why did you have to cut me out of your life without even talking to me firsr? Yiu did it at my job so like what happjened zi had a breakdown and lost it.. Im firly certain I do have a job anmore