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Posts by hydromorphone
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2017-08-12 at 10:42 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by cerakote why doesnt it surprise me that hydro is now badmouthing poc just like she did §m£ÂgØL? she even trashes on him in the same ways. really makes you think huh…
hydro did you ever think that the offending party in your bad relationships isnt the other person
I'm not bad mouthing PoC. When I'm accused of something I haven't done and wouldn't do, I'm going to say something about it. PoC is a good person, but goddamn he gets paranoid. I sent him some more T-PAIN trying to help or for him to have for a rainy day since he's drug his ass on making an order. I hope he gets better. I don't think the effexor is helping him but he's gonna continue on it until he attempts suicide again I think. If I wanted to bad mouth him, trust me, I would be saying a lot more than him being delusionally paranoid.
As for my son, if I suicide now, he won't remember me when he's older so it'll be fine. -
2017-08-11 at 10:39 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSI swear to god, facial swelling, chest pain, and my head feeling like it's going to explode... fucking probably going to stroke out. Woke up unable to walk on my left leg, numb with shooting pain. still can't feel it, and the pain keeps shooting. fucked up pinched nerve dealing with ths shit for about a week now.
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2017-08-11 at 10:35 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by NARCassist Don't say "I wish I had died" if you're not dead. If you genuinely felt that way then you would have done it already.
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I have things to complete first for my son. THings to get in order.
I was stupid and tried this living thing for far too long.
PoC is just a cry baby bitch who never will do it and just wants pity from everyone. I sent him some T-PAIN to help with his issues or to save for a rainy day, but he's "scared" I would poison him lmfao then when I said if I wanted someone dead I'd do it face to face to he got scared and said he's getting a restraining order LMFAO I fucking BEGGED him to do that, he's going to look like such an idiot when he tells the cops "My ex-girlfriend won't stop harassing me on skype" lol I told him to block me for days now. But rather he just wants to bitch I keep messaging him.
I would never poison someone, he's only ever mentioned that. -
2017-08-11 at 4:22 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSProtip: when you're serious about suicide, don't fucking call your crush to come over. That's just a cry for help. Don't be surprised when people try to help you. Don't tell people you're actively going to suicide if you don't want help. This is why I don't call people when I attempt suicide after learning from your shit. Gave me PTSD bad from that. another reason I want and wish I'd have died.
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2017-08-11 at 2:15 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by Piles of Crack If I was "publicly shaming you" I would be posting about personal private details about you/private things you've told me the way §m£ÂgØL did. That's public shaming. Posting a gif illustrating that I'm tired of the fact that you can't stop talking about me in response to you bringing me up in half your posts isn't public shaming.
I'm not discussing this further with you on here. Period.
LOL I repied to those asking about shit YOU have posted fucker! I didn't go on talking about you here. KIll yourself please. fucking ust die. -
2017-08-11 at 2:13 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSYou are like the old guy... all you do is pity yourself ad take any sort of constructive criticism as someone shitting on you. I know you're a good person, but you just want to torch the world around you and wonder why you dont have anything, anyone.
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2017-08-11 at 11:30 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by Piles of Crack Reading hydro rant about me like
I wasn't ranting about you.
stop abusing drugs and maybe you'll get somewhere in your recovery.
You said "I've not been drinking, taking my meds and being compliant" in the same breath as ou being drunk as shit. Yeah... take that as a rant. It's an observation. You're lying to yourself and wondering why nothing is changing.
Just because I finally trust you like you were so upset about me struggling with, because of past experience and my own reservations from how I feel about myself, and then as in every experience before the same shit happens, doesn't mean I'm angry. Just hurt is all. I don't think youre a bad person for that like you seem to come off feeling like. I had observations I think you should take into account with. I'm not surprised you're trying to publicly shame me again. I think you're just angry and hurt I left you (same reasons here, I know you can't love me and parts of me, nothing wrong with that...) so you just tricked me to try again and do my best to believe you and I did, just so you could hurt me like I hurt you (albeit not intentionally). It's okay. I get it. I'm sorry I hurt you and you had to be so vindictive. Funny too you said you were more mature than to publicly shame me again lol... I love you but you're fucking immature as fuck about this shit. That's okay though. If I was angry I wouldn't have mailed you more T-PAIN to help you out. (ended up spilling a bunch too... gah, I'm so fucked.) -
2017-08-10 at 3:53 PM UTC in I've been stalking my current boyfriend for a decade +...
Originally posted by 霍比特人说中文不好 $80? I paid your bills for like 3 months. I sent you money for formula and electricity and bought you things like a fire alarm when you had that electrical fire. I kept track. The total was $1,173. Not calling you a gold-digger, because I did that without need of compensation, and you ARE a giving person, but don't act like you've paid me back for that, and don't act like you 'refusing' means that you didn't need it. Those were basic things and you had an infant you were not providing for because you didn't have a job. It wasn't about you, if it was I probably wouldn't have sent anything. And if you had actually refused you wouldn't have given me your phone and electricity logins so I could pay the bills, and you wouldn't have gone to Walmart to pick up the money I was sending.
You're a lying piece of shit nigger. I have ZERO to lose, bitch. Try me... oh, wait... You just did. I'm in a terrible frame of mind and not in a very good place at the moment and have no qualms at all about shooting you out of the sky right now.
Pretty much the only thing I didn't send money for was your ~100g of T-PAIN a month you go through.
You wanna call me a liar and say I didn't provide for my child? I paid you back far fucking more than that you spic piece of shit. Yes, refusing aid from you for things I DID NOT NEED OR WANT from you. Do you realize that electricity is NOT a necessity, even according to DFS in Florida (call them, ask yourself, just like I did even before my child was born, just to cover my bases in case of an emergency as had happened before he was born... it happens, people can and do live without electricity and running water). There was a family in my county who lived in a tent behind the waffle house out in that patch of woods along I-10. They had no running water, heat, or electricity, and same goes for the well off Amish family I personally knew who was competition with raw milk sales (they had electricity in their barn for their milk storage, which was on a separate parcel of land than where their home was, which wasn't even ran for electricity). Both had dealt with DFS several times from niggers like you who'd call just because they think somehow having running water, electricity or heat is mandatory, because they and you've been spoiled your whole life with those luxuries. I agree they're nice to have, make life a lot easier, but they certainly aren't a "must have" to raise and care for a child (and that's according to Department of Children and Families). I didn't even have the opportunity to fucking get hit going, to cover it myself. You only did your "acts of kindness" just to hold over my head forever and use against me. Fuck, you never even once offered to help me with something I truly needed, which was money for a baby sitter so I could actually get fucking work, I had to fucking beg, and use people I barely knew at the time to watch him as a charity case just so I could start work. I mean fuck, it would have been super helpful to say, "Hey well, if you find a job/get an interview/something related to earning income where you need child care, I'll lend you some money to get the ball rolling so you can drop him off at daycare/someone with references who is more or less can be verified as trustworthy so that won't be an issue and can take the stress of you finding employment, and knowing you'll be able to have someone watch him when you do have work." or fuck, even gas money since I had to pay out my ass to just to get to fucking town or to any kind of job for the distance. At that time I didn't spend a single dime on fucking T-PAIN even, I'd already bought enough that should have lasted me to my tax return with my pell grant check, and that was before I knew everything was going down like it did, and I was hoping too that fucktard would keep one word, for that baby at least to help with child support, but instead he fucking stole more than half of it and fucking stole all my jedielry and most things of any fucking value in the house (and that shi I didn't know until he was already gone). Whether he was going to or not, you even heard him say he was going to pay child supportand send money from his 250$ bus ticket back (the ticket he swore on the baby's life he'd have it back within the week of arriving and he said he's send SOMETHING as support within a month... yeah, we both know he's a scumbag liar, but forgive me for hoping he'd actually help care for the child he wanted, considering every cent while he was there came from my pocket to support that baby... even when he "sold" stuff, it was my families stuff or my things he sold, and he acted like he was being a "breadwinner", for fucks sake I was so ready to pop with the baby it was only the day before and had been having contractions super bad all week, when he'd fucking gone to do that shit even, so it wasn't like it was reasonable for me to be doing that even.)
When someone doesn't WANT and REFUSES help, and you THREATEN them if they don't take it, as you did MANY fucking times, that's not a "good deed", a kindness, or being generous. That's being MANIPULATIVE, ABUSIVE, and a CUNT. Especially when you fucking were paid the fuck back and/or offered numerous times to fucking be paid back.
Remember the one time, yes, I did need milk for the baby? When fucker was there still? I went down EVERYONE I KNEW because I need money to get to the Bank (30miles one way) to cash the check? I didn't dare ask you. We'd been talking, you knew the situation, but still, I never fucking asked. Fucktard fucking kept nagging me to ask you but I fucking didn't. Finally, you were at your party with your friends drinking. You fucking realized we were pretty low and down to the last person we knew to ask for the semi-small amount of money I needed to get there to cash that 2k check($40 I believe it was, maybe it was $50, not sure, but cab fairs were fucking expensive in that area and you know that, and the plan I believe was to just get the milk, pay for the ride over there from those assholes(they wouldn't take me to get the check chased because they didn't have the gas$$ to go all that way) and they gouged hard for gas $$ too) and go the next day with the people I car pooled with to college, where the bank was near, but that way he had milk for those couple days, and we had gas to get the milk.) I'd called them and was waiting for them to call me back, pretty sure they'd be able and willing to help, and I KNEW without a shadow of a doubt they had it, and it'd have been really unusual for them not to lend it especially for that short amount of time that I could have paid them back. I was just worried they might take their time calling back was my only real concern. You fuking said "I got the money, I'll send it first think in the morning.. I know you need it and will be able to pay it back.. it's fine, no big deal" Now, I asked if you were sure, but didn't going too much, and assured you I'd pay it back/have it in the mail no later than the following day upon cashing. Now, this is after a fucking anxiety filled fucking day here... I mean, I was getting ready to fucking walk/hitchhike, after still having a lot of post-partum pain, still trying to breast feed as much as possible (all that stress surely didn't fucking help the situation), and also having a fuckload of pain from the copper IUD I had put in not long before that (a week/2 weeks at most?). With that fucking distance I was going to have to fucking start THEN, that night if I didn't hear from that guy, or you hadn't of offered and I fucking would have for my child's well being and to have his milk. Well, everything was good, everything was cool, and for some reason, in the morning, when I asked you when you'd be doing that so we could find a ride to get it, you fucking flipped your shit on me out of the blue. I didn't do anything, I didn't fucking say anything, you just decided then and there, after I'd told the guy "hey, it's fine, another friend is sending money in the morning but thanks for getting back to me" as he was saying him and his family was leaving that morning for vacation on a flight (meaning it wasn't like I could call him back and have him send the money then... like, he couldn't at that point being stuck in an airport, I even told you that part just to double check with you it wouldn't be a problem and you insisted it was all good, you didn't min and would.) Next morning you had a hangover and sent a series of nasty text messages (which yep, I have screenshots of those too. The whole shabang from start to finish.) stating how you weren't going to "fund a child that Fucktard took as his" (whatever, you know what the situation was then and NOBODY KNEW for sure then, especially then when he was so young and with his pectus shit), you never wanted to talk to us again, and otherwise belittled, insulted, and fucking treated like shit... for no fucking reason. Nothing happened to even warrant you flipping from everything cool, and wanting and willing to help, to being a complete asshole and placing me in a VERY fucked up bind, with ZERO time to even walk that far (and it's not like I could bank on getting a ride most the way since it wasnt a well traveled road to even go down to get there had I have had to walk), so yes I got fucking pissed as fuck, thinking I didn't have to worry, my friend (well, I at least thought) would be helping, and it was all figured out... fucking no... 9m I'm having an anxiety attack worried how to get my baby milk now. That was such a dick thing to do, and such a fucked up thing to flip. Even if you did get mad over something petty, you knew damn fucking well I was banking on that (ONLY BECAUSE YOU INSISTED AND OFFERED and I was really worried he wouldn't call back and was one of the last people I knew and you offered and assured me way before he called back, and really, while the dude would have, I really didn't want to have this hung over me.. but had I known You being you.. yeah.. I would have rethought that..). You FINALLY, later on came around and said you'd send it and apologized. You ended up send $150, before you'd gone you'd said about sending a little extra and I said NO, fucking NO, just send what I NEEDED... but you did anyway... to which you know damn well Fucktard ended up pocketing a good bit of it (because Whoops! He decided to "grocery shop", lie about what he got, and not bring back receipts... one reason I ONLY wanted what was needed, because I had a feeling (not sure, but definitely suspecting shit like that then) He'd do low-life scumbag shit like that. Well, when it cam about the day I had to leave at 5:30AM, had no sleep for probably 2 days give or take, pain, dealing with the baby and having to wait out front of the bank for hours til they opened to cash my check, I'd forgotten to walk to the Post Office to get you a M.O., and even said it as soon as I got home, I'd get out the next day and mail it, bt you bitched and REFUSED to accept me sending you the money back and yu told me "I swear, if you pay me back, I will never talk to you again. You're my friend, act like it and just take the money, because you need it, and I don't want the fucking money". That's the only reason I didn't send the money, when I had it and WANTED to pay it back, and COULD HAVE. Instead that money got stolen by fucktard anyway, so you should have done me the favor of letting me repay it. THe point is here, after all that, you fucking STILL, to this fucking day want to hang it over my head. It was to be nice, it was to use as a guilt me and be able to use it as your evidence and defense for "never" ding anything wrong. Very shitty. When I do something for someone to be nice, regardless of if I'm mad at them, I don't throw that in their face and assert constantly I gave them money or did this or that for them, especially if they tried to pay me back. LIke when I helped friend on the forum fom TRT with $30 a few years back, and I refused the money when they had it to pay back... as far as I am concerned, it was a gift and I'm paid back.
How many times did I try to give you money before that too even? Hmm? You always neglect to mention that, you spic, traitor, honor-less piece of shit, user, man-child. You should be ashamed of yourself and who you are, but then again you don't even know who you are because you spend every ounce of energy hiding the true §m£ÂgØL from everyone around you, even those closest to you, you have to lie to them, or they'd never look at you the same gain, or have respect for you for that matter either. -
2017-08-10 at 9:50 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by Malice I don't want to! Why would I? Should physical appearance be given such importance? I don't know anything about her. What are odds that she'll be likeable, when I dislike all people?
you never know til you try, but you're iright, too many shit people in the world, it' not worth that risk. I envy PoC from being as realistic and avoiding risk like he did, where me... I always do that, and ALWAYS end up "having the world fuck me in the ass" as he would say. -
2017-08-10 at 9:28 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSquadruple post
YAY
lost my mind...
lemme know if y'all find it. -
2017-08-10 at 9:27 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS"medicating" should only be used for seriously getting high... like IVing heroin or hydromorphone.
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2017-08-10 at 9:26 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSlol but I agree it's fucking stupid when people smoking weed say they're "medicated/medicating"... that's just dumb.
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2017-08-10 at 9:25 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSLanny, you're just jealous we're medicated on better drugs than you, stop being such a dick.
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2017-08-10 at 9:01 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by Discount Whore 2.0 Come on hydro
methinks the proof is in the pudding
Yeah, I'm tired of having to live like this. It's not a once in a life time thing, or even a blue moon thing like most other people. I'm tired of living in pain everyday, every moment. For the last couple days I've had extremely severe pain in my legs, just shooting, awful pain, that's constant and has been this intense for days now. That may go away for a bit, get better, but the rest of it persists, and so does the fuckiness with my head, general everyday pain, and just all over not feeling well, and if I use drugs to fix it, there's always some other side effect to deal with... it just never ends and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of living like this, feeling like this, and just being generally hopeless for it to ever get better.
I always said, the majority of my suicidal ideations come down to my pain, it's what's always pushed me close to the edge or been the part that has gotten me to pull the trigger, that and how I negatively effect everyone around me, especially those I love. I have one person I think I might help slightly with their shit, being 1337, but even that's just a phase though. I hurt everyone I love. Fuck, he as pissed at me the other day and jealous because I needed to talk to PoC for a bit when I felt he needed me, and well shit... PoC and I barely talked anyway, so I never would say no if he called... I shoulda been there for the person who really loved me, and at least loved me honestly where with PoC, friendships I had with other people, they were just a source of anxiety and jealousy he had to "numb" himself to. I'm far too much of a free spirit to have people I love be jealous of other people I love and who love me in my life... it fucks with my head. I can't help I love people, and want to mother everyone.
Funny in my relationship with PoC I could spend hours talking to 1337, pretty much talking all fucking day some days, and with PoC go days without speaking. 1337 is just used to the anxiety and stress I bring to the table in his own chaotic life with him being extremely bipolar, PoC however was not. The people I lived with assumed I was on the phone with y boyfriend all the time... which I wasn't lol. Just ma nigga, 1337. Kinda fucked up to have to explain all the time why I wasn't talking to my BF, but some other dude all the time for 6 hours straight sometimes... so sometimes I'd just lie and nod 'yes'to prevent having weird looks. -
2017-08-10 at 8:45 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
They were all in love with dying they were drinkin' from a fountian
That is pouring like an avalance coming down the mountian
I don't mind the sun sometimes the images it shows
I can taste you on my lips and smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and sugary and softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look through other people's eyes -
2017-08-10 at 8:36 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by What_a_Kreep I don't really have anything in response to this or even to add to it. I just really liked it and I wish I could give you something that's the Niggas equivalent to reddit gold. I have never given reddit gold before and probably never will but if there ever were a post that my cheap ass wouldn't feel so bad for spending $4 on some stranger over the internet, this post would be it.
Well, I will say, nobody here did contribute to "destroying" our relationship, at least. I it wasn't me asking about that it would have been something else or whatever. I really don't care. I didn't expect, even when I wwas slightly pissy and hurt that it'd "destroy" our relationship because I asked though... I think PoC might be a slight bit delusional too because he kept saying I said "You ruined everything" where I didn't, not once... not ever, especially not then. I said it about myself, after he essentially broke it off with me, but that wasn't toward him, or anything he did, that was at me, just saying in general what I do. -
2017-08-10 at 8:23 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by Discount Whore 2.0 why are you taking steroids?
about 2 weeks ago, I had some really bad inflammation issues that left me unable to walk, move, or even get out of bed or otherwise do anything than be curled up in a fetal position in tears. For several days I had to use high doses of dexamethasone IM injections to just be able to half-ass function. I was really fucked up, but the steroid shots helped the pain caused by the inflammation tremendously. I've been using lower doses here and there as needed when it seems like it's flaring back up and it helps. Steroids fuck with my head badly though. Really has created a huge amount of fogginess in me and effects me in a very negative way mentally. I can't think straight. I probably ouldn't have asked PoC about that in the morning, but I was afraid I'd forget and wanted to know. I also have been having bouts of memory loss too.. fucking amnesia hardcore. Im tired of my life being this fucked up, and living in this much pain, and having all this shit compound on me with no optimal way to fix it, and no cure. My life is one trade off after the other. -
2017-08-10 at 8:07 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
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2017-08-10 at 7:38 AM UTC in Pulling ya girl's yoga pants down and fucking her while you finger her clitYou do realize... vaginas get fingered... uh, not clits, right? they get rubbed... like, you aren't going to fit anything "in" a clit, because it's got no "in"... Clits are like micro penises...
You, sir, are a virgin. I pity you. -
2017-08-10 at 7:24 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS