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Posts by hydromorphone
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2018-04-10 at 3:42 PM UTC in i am behaving like human garbageWhy are woman so important to you? Why does it even matter? Aren't there better things to do in life than sit in a negative stew over a whole group of people you don't even know? Sounds like bitches are winning if they have you so upset that you'd waste so much time just to spite a whole sex by fucking with one individual. I have my reasons to hate men. Most people who've fucked me over and used me have been men. I don't blame everyone who's male for my problems though. I know everyone is different and them being male or female doesn't really matter all that much.
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2018-04-10 at 3:36 PM UTC in What happens when we die?
Originally posted by NARCassist so you think when we die we all become gods? interesting theory. do you think we all get our own section of space somewhere to create a universe of our own? that would be pretty cool.
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No, not like that... More like with time And experience, everything changes... At one point w live the lowest of the low and another, which might take uncountable ages, we make it around to the top in part if us experiencing everything. Even our views change. What we find good or right now may not be that in a few lifetimes, with subtle changes... We may have been the evil we see in history even.
I believe in change... Nothing is fixed. But... There's always an exception to every rule so... -
2018-04-10 at 3:08 PM UTC in What happens when we die?
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2018-04-10 at 3 PM UTC in What happens when we die?
Originally posted by Bill Krozby interesting ive never heard about this plantesi until now. please tell more?
Originally posted by NARCassist yeah wtf is plantesi? the duck couldn't find anything.
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Phantesi is a 'deity' which I use the term losely, because what (at least I believe) and what most people think of deities and gods are very far off. I think that there are dimensional beings, and even aliens with the technology that has been used to decieve societies in the past into believe they are "gods", when really all they are doing is using us to further their agenda.
She's on the demesional side. There are many like her, and most have a huge ego and because they are able to see and in some cases do things beyond our power they try to convince people to follow them, to do for them, to work for them unconditionally... Its pretty easy to scare people into doing if you have some power and get them thinking you're omnipotent. Fear is a powerful thing along with the promises of "saving" your soul from something that's unknown to us.
Plantesi is just a being who's helped me and talked to me most my life who has 'deity'like abilities. Our first conversation was her explaining the lies surrounding deities. I grew an affinity to her, and so she comes to me now and then, sometimes to help and sometimes to just talk. She's rare in aspect that she's not out to gain followers, or manipulate people for her bidding. She goes by other names but that's what I know her as. You won't find anything about her, not by that name anyway though so...
In a nutshell, the world is made of both good and evil and it blends together sometimes too. You need both for balance, she just promotes the good keeping level. Her influence is subtle. I don't talk about her much because well... No need. She's done things for me I cannot explain and has comforted me in my dark hours. Maybe she's a figment of my mind, I accept that possibility, but I've also seen what she can do. The way she wants me to go about my life and promote her agenda is by doing good to others, helping when no one else will help, random acts of kindness. There is honesty there, and I happen to believe in doing good, and trying to balance against the evil that gets out of control in our world.
I personally believe in reincarnation and that we revolve on a wheel of sorts... Constantly changing, moving, living, dying, and doing it over and over. One day we all will experience what its like to be a 'deity', as well as a blade of grass. We will one day be able to understand the positions of everyone at some point. We all come around eventually.
I typically take the athiest argument though because theres no reason to promote that shit... It doesn't really matter. Logically and with solid, non-biased, repeatable, provable facts we have, atheism is far better than the current bulshit of religion that is used to control, manipulate, and have good people do evil things for selfish agendas. -
2018-04-10 at 2:06 PM UTC in What happens when we die?
Originally posted by Xlite When you die you will leave your vessel and get pulled towards the absolute where you will be omniscient. Here we're omnipotent. The way of creation when it comes to us is thought, thought is the foundation of creation. Once enough energy and focus has been spend on thought holograms, they become realized in this hologram. When you die you lose the ability of thought because it cannot exist on the wavelengths you are heading towards.
That seems a rather interesting belief. Where does it come from? Where and when did you adopt it? What's your ”proof" or what reasoning makes it credible to you? -
2018-04-10 at 1:58 PM UTC in What happens when we die?
Originally posted by gumbo Yep. I believe in God and I believe you are going to hell for your sins. Repent now and be saved, whore.
I bow to no one, nor will I now. God, particularly the abrahamic God has way too many inconsistencies for me to take seriously and even if so, even if you prove without doubt him being real, I would not submit, for that nigger is definitely evil.
I am assuming since you quote scripture from the bible that's what you believe. Do you submit out of fear of an all powerful being or because you think they are genuinely good? Christianity has been easy for me since even if he's real, he's evil in my eyes so even if I believed, I would not submit.
What do you believe happens when YOU die?
Originally posted by gumbo Plantesi won't save you, hydro.
I never said she would, nor do I care for her to. We save or damn ourselves, sometimes with some help along the way. She's not all powerful, no ’deity’ is. She's like the rest, just promoting her agenda and I happen to be think it to be good, and appreciate not being lied to, or manipulated. I don't bow to or prostrate myself to her or anyone. I have conversations, that's about it, and I accept that it may be all in my head, I accept I may be wrong.
לא יהיה־לך אלהים אחרים על־פני -
2018-04-10 at 6:26 AM UTC in Forgotten memes from Totse.
Originally posted by gumbo Bacon, idiot.
Im an idiot because I don't off handedly know the author of a random quote and don't care to Google it for the sake of some dumb thread to pretend I'm hot shit? Does it make you feel cool for googling that, §m£ÂgØL?
My memories have been failing me, but at least I've retained that important tid bits. -
2018-04-10 at 6:18 AM UTC in Forgotten memes from Totse.
Originally posted by -SpectraL "NAPALM!"
"Welcome to the suburbs. There is no escape".
"Knowledge is Power"
Dude, "knowledge is power"has been a thing my father has recited to me like first memories I have and shit... I'm sure that's a quote from somewhere else, though my memory fails me as to whom its from atm. Not saying it wasn't appropriated by totse users but... It doesn't originate from there. -
2018-04-10 at 6:07 AM UTC in What happens when we die?
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2018-04-10 at 6:05 AM UTC in What happens when we die?
Originally posted by gumbo If there is a hell, hydro is going straight to it.
Off topic, I find it hilarious that somehow I've pissed you off so much and caused you to be this butt-hurt, but whatever... I'm sure if there is a hell and I end up there, I'll see you there too. I've already submitted my application for the heating and cooling department just in case.
Matthew 18:6 - But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and [that] he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
Take God's advice and find the nearest millstone.
I don't believe in God. I take it you do? Still doesn't answer what you believe happens when we die. -
2018-04-10 at 6 AM UTC in What happens when we die?
Originally posted by A College Professor great question u should study the bilble
I've read the bible twice, though I'm no Christian.
I'm asking what you all believe happens when we die. What's your personal belief on that? I think its amusing to see how others believe. Some believe they get 72 virgins when they die. Quite curious if you ask me, thought I'd like to hear what you all have to say on it. -
2018-04-10 at 5:46 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by Malice Yesterday I was actually on the verge of texting you and asking if you would be willing to provide fentanyl and benzos to overdose on.
I wish drugs, particularly opiates would be a viable way out for me. I've never once come remotely close to even being non-functioning on opiate which partially was to do with my caution in my youth, but now its my tolerance. I guess fentanyl would do the trick maybe with a gram... Idk though, my luck is low and tolerance is pretty high. I recalled they used 250 and 300ug to put 1337 down for his surgeries along with other standard complimentary drugs for such and I know his tolerance is like less than half mine. I honestly wonder what it would take to put me Down in that situation. My father always had issues being sedated for surgery, and woke up during quite a few, and others he didn't remember, he almost strangled the dentist when he was out. I have always had identical responses to drugs, dosages, and side effects as him, as well as very similar anatomy (we are built a lot alike save for being opposite sex, I def took afer him). I've been lucky enough to only ever needed a local when my ear was sutured back on when I was a kid. Dog tore it off. That was a learning experience for sure.
Well, more the problem than anything is affording enough to end my life, since there has to be a dose that can do it. And being sure I have/use enough. I've ODed on cocktails of what have reportedly killed others and should have been enough but wasn't for me at least. I just woke up like 14 hours later all hung over as fuck.
I hope you don't die, Malice, well.. Rather.. Can be happy staying alive, but if not, good luck in whatever choice you make. I understand though its never easy. Hasn't been for me in the 22 years I've contemplated suicide. -
2018-04-10 at 5:25 AM UTC in What happens when we die?Is it all just over? Reincarnation? Heaven or hell? What do you think?
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2018-04-05 at 6:19 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by gumbo Lol so you made a solution. Plenty of people have and still had clotting issues, but let's say you dont. It's still incredibly caustic, this stuff is literally synthesized with lye. When product is poorly synthesized, there will still be sodium hydroxide left in. NM has long been accused of decreasing quality in their T-PAIN sodium. They put out third party test results but there is absolutely nothing confirming that's what you're getting and the user reports are too big to ignore.
But even if it's 100% pure and clean, this is fucking retarded. 1337 has already been hospitalized for this once. You aren't smarter than a doctor. At least go whore yourself out for some opiates or something, you soggy cunt.
Yes, I've been letting him IV T-PAIN in a buffered solution.
You know the example you gave of having a bottle of T-PAIN in water eat away at the bottle over weeks? Have you ever taken a corroded Penny and stuck it in coca cola overnight? By the next day, you'll have a pristine, shiny penny.
Using the PEG really does a wonderful job of protecting against the caustic effects. You'd know this if you've shot up both ways. When shooting T-PAIN just straight, you can feel,even without missing, the sting of the shit going in, and after, there's a lot of inflammation and swelling. Using the PEG, it shoots like anything else, besides just being really thick, and if you miss,it's no different than missing with any thing else, which might result in mild swelling for a short period, but it goes away quickly, and isn't painful like missing with straight T-PAIN.
I was wondering about the bioavailability of T-PAIN. I have heard it being 99% oral, but there is definitely a difference and I'm not so sure that's the case. If you have more info on that than shit I've read on drug forums/basic info just posted about these nootropics,I'd definitely be interested to read it. I used to think that was the case,but until experiencing IV T-PAIN, I am inclined to believe there's more to it, almost like an entirely different drug, and strong as fuck.
As for giving 1337 shit in the hospital, these idiot doctors don't know the first thing about wtf they're doing and are doing a piss poor job of controlling his pain. It's a sin. You cannot treat drug addiction and manage pain post surgery at the same time with good results. I refuse to leave someone I love in agony when I have a way that can help...
And for the record, T-PAIN wasn't the cause of all this shit. what the cause was him shoot and missing a heroin shot, not taking care of it,it abcessing, and when it was opened up,it spread to his groin area. It also got compounded by him not taking his antibiotics,using a fuckload of dexamethasone at the same time, and just letting it faster for a long ass time. This was entirely, 100 percent preventable,but someone made stupid choices and failed to properly care for themselves. I love 1337 to death but he's a fucking idiot sometimes.
Why all the shittiness, §m£ÂgØL? The aggressiveness is really getting old and not sure why you want to continue this negativity. It's whatever. I already am a prostitute and do have clients who still see me,but being that I am HIV positive it's rather difficult to see new clients and I don't want to lie to people about my status. I've also been extremely ill myself recently and it's harder and harder each day of the pregnancy. I don't think you understand what T-PAIN does to your opioid tolerance either. Back when I was with PoC I'd copped 180mgs worth of roxicodone, and I shot it all up in one go. It literally just barely touched my withdrawals I had been in prior. I would have needed at least another 80-100mgs to be anywhere near normal. It would be insane the amount of traditional opioids needed to function, and insane to afford even if I wasn't this fucked up already. -
2018-04-05 at 4:06 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by WE SMOOTH Don't lie.. you would love the amount of attention that would get you
From who? I have no family, and only a few close friends. My social life is pretty much non-existent and it's pretty fucked to say I would love attention from the person who's literally my best,and one of my only true friends to whom I'm married to dying. -
2018-04-05 at 3:59 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by gumbo This is dumb, even by your standards. What the fuck are you thinking? T-PAIN is caustic and hydrophillic. I'm assuming 1337 is in septic shock or something, so he absolutely does not need caustic clumps of T-PAIN floating around in his veins. You know oral bioavailability is like 99%, right? And if he has a tube or something, and you really want to play doctor, get some real opiates that won't turn to corrosive glue in his veins. If he is dealing with an infection, having his veins be damaged can open him up to further spread of infection. Just like how you got HIV through the anal micro-fractures that big black dude gave you.
This is not even mentioning the infection that injecting Chinese mystery powders in clandestine solution can cause. It may be negligible for people with a healthy immune system, but his is clearly struggling.
You know all of this though. I know you do. The only reasonable conclusion I can come to is that you are actively trying to kill him so that you can get your inheritance now that you're married. You can't possibly be caring about his safety if you are putting T-PAIN sodium into a catheter. This is really, really fucked up.
Firstly, I'm buffering the shots with polyethylene glycol. There is most definitely a difference here and it negates the caustic effects of just shooting the shit straight.
And clumps? Dude, yeah, if you add T-PAIN to water it gets all clumpy and floaty,but when you cook it up,which can take a little while, it's crystal clear, albeit it's thick as fuck all, sort of like penicillin shots and adding the PEG makes it even more so. I actually make thinner shots than 1337 was making though, because I use 3ml syringes, rather than 1ml insulin rigs.
§m£ÂgØL, you don't always know everything about everything. You're not a dumb guy, but you definitely can get on a high horse without knowing the entirety of the story, or all the facts, which is pretty annoying, but hey, I see where you're coming from in initial concern.
I would love to get decent opiates for 1337, but unfortunately I'm not made of money and the T-PAIN works better. Before going to the hospital he shot a bundle of dope and it didn't even get him out of withdrawals.
My mistake was thinking 1337 could use T-PAIN here and there... He obviously can't. I'm not trying to hurt anyone, just trying to help and he sure as fuck wants me to help. No, he's not septic either. I sure as fuck don't want 1337 to die and assuming I would is pretty fucked up. What inheritance would I have to gain? He literally just got divorced in October. Why is everything I do that you disagree with some way me trying to use or take advantage? Why is it always assumed I'm a golddigger? If I were going for that, I'd fucking definitely have gone for the one guy who was up in my shit and made of money, and wouldn't fuck around with someone like 1337. I take care of myself, and always have.ive paid back my debts even too. Golddiggers don't usually do that either. Hell, most people who've dealt with the shit I've had from people like you wouldn't do that, but I have. -
2018-04-04 at 3:35 PM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by -mal- Woah. What the hell started the infection? Sorry you’re having a tough time.
He's a dumbass and missed shooting up, then didn't take care of it and it spread like wildfire. He should have been in the ER 2 weeks before all this shit honestly and might not be dealing with... This severity of shit. I was helping him IV in his femoral vein,but at some point he decided he was a big boy and could do it himself even though I was right there and wanted to help after I was out of the shower. He'd come with a bad abcess on his thigh from shoot heroin and I tried to clean in out and all,but again ... When I got sick,he dropped the ball on taking care of it. Shit spread to his sites on his groin area I think and that's how shit got so bad. Had him taking antibiotics but he lied to me and ended up discontinuing them without telling me because he got a bad yeast infection and didn't continue another course of something else. He also used a lot of dexamethasone when he was sick and feverish which I would have flipped out if I knew he wasn't on an antibiotic especially when using that shit and how bad his legs were even then.
Just another cluster fuck of my life is all. Hopefully he comes out okay soon. -
2018-04-04 at 3:12 PM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.Well, while here 1337 got a fucked infection in his groin/thighs on both sides and instead of listen to me and take care of it properly in the beginning, he's now in the hospital,needed emergency surgery at 4am on Saturday edit: morning (he got the ER Friday night, had a second surgery Monday, and as I post this,he's in for another surgery now. Last surgery,they nicked the artery and he almost bled out. The area they cleaned out like is nothing but exposed blood vessels and they are trying to transfer him somewhere else for plastic surgery to fix this shit. He's been all fucked up.
Just thought I'd mention that. Before all that, I was in the hospital regarding complications with my pregnancy and epilepsy. I was really fucked up there for a while... Still am,and now dealing with this shit too.
If it can go wrong, it will go wrong, is what I've found to be true in my life. Oh and they were only giving him 4mg of morphine,the whole hospital is out of hydromorphone, and fucking he's been in extreme pain. I've just been giving him T-PAIN through his central line they got in him and that's the only thing really working.
I hate fucking doctors. Fingers crossed I don't become a widow before we're even married a month and have a baby growing up without a father. Pisses me off he didn't listen to me and take care of himself before it got this bad. -
2018-03-24 at 7:17 AM UTC in I've been taken advantage of again.
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2018-03-19 at 11:07 PM UTC in trump: death penalty for fentalog dealers
Originally posted by Bill Krozby well you should know that if you're selling fent that there is a chance your supplier has cut it with fent… its common knowledge that this happens amoungst drug users / dealers..
LEGALIZE drugs and you won't have this problem. Some faggot ods on fent from the pharmacy, then fucking good they deserve it then.