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Posts by hydromorphone
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2018-10-04 at 4:05 AM UTC in How come when somebody kills themself, somebody's like...
Originally posted by mmQ I more or less agree that when and if someone truly wants to do it, obviously they just do it. That's of course not to say that a person can't both want to do it and also want to have their mind changed.
Also drugs and alcohol can be a huge factor, of course. There were times when I was very very close to suicide when I was properly fucked up, and far closer to following through than I ever felt sober. I'm sure that's not uncommon. It takes a lot of courage to kill yourself, despite it often being said as a cowardly thing to do.
Pain has been a huge part of my suicidal ideations, and attempts. I definitely am afraid to die, it's a scary thought. I want to live, but not if it's gonna just be this constant pain, and mental anguish. I want to be happy, just doesn't feel like anything will come together for that... I literally have the worst luck in the world, not considering my own fuck ups I am responsible for.
It takes a special mind set to do it. I was in that mind set not long ago, and somehow just saved by 1337,again. I bled myself out 2,500 + ml of blood in bottles, which is why I am certain of amount (and oh god I was I fucked up for days after that) . I'm considering getting some benzos to help me give no more fucks, and hopefully be able to complete my task next round. I wish I could just get over the fear, and do it right. -
2018-10-01 at 1:19 AM UTC in Going to Nevada to get a hand-picked prostituteCool. Good luck and have fun.
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2018-10-01 at 1:11 AM UTC in Women of (torvalds) NIS: Do you like getting creampied?Yes, it is very much a turn on to have my husband cum in me, and I really, really don't like that seed to be spilled. I really don't think I could fully enjoy the act if I didn't have him cum in me, as I hate condoms, and who wants to pull out? I did have some health issues with my first copper IUD, but the second one seems to be doing find, placed right, and otherwise not causing issues. I would definitely recommend it as a birth control option. They're also good for 10 years, and can be replaced in that time too. I've had a lot of issues with hormonal forms of birth control and hate condoms, so it boils down to this. Sure, it is pretty painful at first, but after a while it goes away. A lot of woman say it doesn't hurt at all beyond mild discomfort while back in placed,but for me it was a few weeks of pretty bad discomfort, and them it slowly tapered until it's unnoticeable by about the second or third month. Get your bitch to get an IUD and you can cum without fear. It's not hormonal, it's a 5minute procedure you can get done almost any where that deals with birth control (planned parenthood, for example), and it last for a decade, (probably longer, but that's what the fda approved it for) and you can't forget to use it. It's success rate is higher than the pill too.
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2018-09-29 at 7:51 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionI'm having such bad anxiety I'm going to the hospital. I really feel terrible for malice suffering anywhere near like this. I miss him so much. He offered a lot of comfort in a weird way. Now he's gone it feels like something is missing, that there's a hole somewhere.
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2018-09-28 at 2:42 AM UTC in You are all mentally illYeah, I agree. I know for sure that I'm pretty out there. I scored higher than you on the autism test malice had us all do around last year,even. I wonder what it's like to be sane? It has to be better than this feeling of sinking dread, anxiety, and despair that continually goes through me all the time, for which I can't say I've had a reprieve from in a long while. At this point, and I hate to say it, but I could really use a benzo, as much as I hate them. I really need help with this shit.
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2018-09-27 at 9:34 PM UTC in just banged this hot little 21 yoMore power to ya, narc. I mean... You said you banged her, but didn't exactly state what sort of banging that entailed, so... I really can't recommend much. Just have fun, I suppose. Glad you're enjoying yourself, stay safe, have fun.
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2018-09-27 at 8:24 PM UTC in I'm sorry if I was mean to you
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2018-09-27 at 3:35 PM UTC in I'm sorry if I was mean to youRisir, if you ever just need a hug, lemme know... I got you. *hugs*
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2018-09-27 at 3:26 PM UTC in I'm sorry if I was mean to you
Originally posted by totse3.com You want a piece of Malice. Cause we can hunt him down and you can talk to some real "reasoning."
Malice was too socially awkward to hitch hike. I doubt his anxiety and paranoia would have allowed him to do it, and even if he did, nobody would pick up that weird motherfucker who appears and is likely thinking about strangling and killing the driver along the way.
He's a gentle soul though. Go easy on him
I wonder if he hitch hiked to LA or San Diego. It's warmer down there
Last we heard, Malice got "on the bus". He'd purchased a strong barbituate to have on hand if he did finally want to go through with suicide, and was discussing it heavily right before he made that thread. I'm pretty sure he killed himself. I'm doing a little digging to see if I can find anything, but CA is a big state, and even the area where he was living (or so we were told) is densely populated. It probably gonna take awhile, if I ever do find anything. I really do miss Malice, he was a good dude. In a way, I hope I find nothing,and he just left the forum either for an extended period, or for good to start fresh, maybe somewhere else. I just don't think that's the case though... If he did do it, I just wish I could be as brave as he was... Maybe one day. (I did try recently, but failed because 1337 pulled me back from the brink... I took a 18g needle, and 10ml syringe and proceeded to hit my femoral artery and just screw off and on the syringe once I filled it up and then just filled up water bottles. I got 2500mls out of me, not including what kept pouring from the needle when the syringe was unscrewed, and I'm estimating 2500ml but I did fill. 5,500mlbottles to the very top too, so likely a bit more, and then proceeded to pass out all day every time I stood up for more than a few minutes. I've still been feeling like shit after that... Apparently when I try next time, I need to make sure I don't let people talk me out of it, and just keep going.) -
2018-09-27 at 2:54 PM UTC in Walking around an area with lots of foot traffic and stabbing random people
Originally posted by -SpectraL Reported to the FBI Tip Line.
You're a faggot, spec. You're also a NARC, and narcing on people isn't cool. Snitches get stitches, and so forth. This thread was also hypothetical. It's sad some old fuck in Canada is sitting behind his computer with nothing better to do than to call and report people for having an open discussion. What happened to TOTSE values? Aren't you always going on and on about that shit?
To keep the tread on track, I would say that number would vary just depending on where, how busy the streets are, and the wild card of if civilians are going to try to stop you. If spectroll was in the street though, I'm sure I'd nail at least one, right in the face. After they're stabbed,can you then go back and shoot them? Like, for good measure and shit? -
2018-09-20 at 9:31 PM UTC in I found Infinityshock in Florida
Originally posted by -SpectraL Fucking lazy, lying pigs. It's indecent exposure, which is a state crime, and it can certainly be prosecuted even if the perp is on his own property.
In Florida there are a lot of small communities that have statutes that allow nudity. It's more common down there than you think.
... And who fucking gives a damn if he's out on his property nude? Why is a dick, pussy, and tits so fucking offensive? We all have genitals ffs. Who cares if kids see him? Like, you afraid the boys will turn gay and the girls will want to hop on? If you don't make a big deal over it then there won't be a big deal. It's life. We were born that way, and frankly Florida is so hot outside with the humidity that it shouldn't be banned anywhere. -
2018-09-17 at 9:36 PM UTC in Malice
Originally posted by Ensign §m£ÂgØL I dont have mental issues. My psychiatrist said I'm cured.
Why would you even state that? While I believe you do have mental issues, 1337, and I both do have mental issues. "We" was referencing us, my husband, and myself, not you. Seems like you're a bit of a narcissist these days assuming as much. The whole post was related to our issues, not you, context was very clear in that.
Originally posted by twistquest /u/Bukujutsu was deleted, though his posts still remain on threads.
He had an alt, /u/Neo-Schopenhauerian - his last post was on June 10 2018, which roughly coincides with the date of his last post here. Pretty obvious he offed himself.
He had another alt too, but the username alludes me. He hasn't posted on that one since last year, IICR.
Thank you for the information. I couldn't recall his reddit username.
Originally posted by mmQ Yep I think I'm pretty much convinced at this point, despite my hopes that it was just a troll of sorts. Obviously people have gone and came back over much longer periods of time, hell including Malice himself what with his previous disappearance, but this one seems pretty clear despite there being no concrete evidence and very likely never will be.
Sorry hydro. No matter how much any of us care there's really next to nothing we can do to try and find out the truth. I'd be thoroughly impressed if you can dig through all of the socal obituaries and single out a dude that you've no clue what his name even was.
I agree with you. I highly doubt I'll find anything,but I've done it before. My only clue was the guy ran a computer business in a specific city. His reviews were what led me to his name, then to the background search. It was for a friend. The guy had lied about his name, but I was able to have her I'd his arrest photo.
Meh, wish me luck. Gives me something to do when I'm bored.
Not saying nobody cares, but seems like a lot could care either way, regardless of if we have evidence or not. He was a really good member here. I'm sure even Lanny misses his banter. I sure do.
Take it easy, mq. Thank you. -
2018-09-17 at 12:33 AM UTC in Malice
Originally posted by Lanny
Malice moved down to SoCal with his parents and maybe one of his siblings before he accidentally got on the wrong bus and hasn't been seen since. Somewhere in or around LA, not sure which city though.
I appreciate you giving me some direction in my search. California is a big fucking state, even just southern California, but it helps narrow it down knowing he was somewhere down there around LA. I'll update you if I find anything.
It is unfortunate he got on the wrong bus... Hopefully it's a bus that'll show back up to drop him off, but if not... Well, I'll see what I can find.
If you have any other information you'd be willing to share with me to aid in my search, just shoot me a PM. Thank you again, Lan-Lan. I appreciate it. -
2018-09-17 at 12:17 AM UTC in Hannah Hays, possible retard, can no longer get workLet's be honest here, people. If she didn't have a speech impediment (which I'd bet money she had years of speech therapy too, she's not that bad sounding compared to others like her. You can tell how she carefully says her words.) she would sound like every other stupid, dumb bimbo we see everyday in the streets.
What I don't get is why she's poor mouthing so much if she's doing well in this industry. She's acting like getting a script filled (benzos aren't that expensive) is some huge expense. She also seems to think that the act of sex is a transaction where if she doesn't get a monetary compensation, then she's being taken advantage of. Oh, and the "drugs are bad (umm Kay) and people who do drugs are bad" makes her sound even more retarded.
She sounds very immature especially when she discussed her future g"business", and decorating her room, and families house. Lol. I think she's got the mental intellect of a 14-16 year old. She was very well scripted for the interview, and you could see it when she was asked a question she wasn't prepared for.
Meh, there are plenty of other retards out there who don't have a speech impediment and are "normal" with the same same level of intellect as this girl in the world, so fuck it,let her do what she wants. She'll be back to working a minimum wage job in no time anyway once she's washed up and loses her youth. She knows what she's doing. She might be stupid, but she understands the grasp of it all. There are plenty of people who've had issues, aren't the sharpest tools in the shed, and have hard lives, and mental issues, so I'm not anymore sympathetic for her than any other person. -
2018-09-16 at 11:17 PM UTC in MaliceK888
Originally posted by Ensign §m£ÂgØL Predicted this response too so typical
A prediction is usually stated prior to the event occurring.
Why does it even matter to you? It feels like you're just hoping shit is fucked up between us. I was responding to Risir to begin with, and expecting people to be going through depression after life altering and threatening illnesses is like saying you expect the sun to rise tomorrow. Life is hard sometimes,especially when you already have mental health issues to boot, which we both do. -
2018-09-16 at 7:26 PM UTC in Malice
Originally posted by Ensign §m£ÂgØL Hide your medical supplies guys
I don't need yours or anyone else's, I have my own.
Originally posted by Ensign §m£ÂgØL This is exactly what I expected.
I did too, it happens, it's not all rainbows and sunshine. People have depression, they have problems that sometimes get harder to cope with. I've just been trying to be a supportive spouse,and hope that this rough patch in our lives passes soon. It's not been easy for either of us being hospitalized,and me being in a nursing home,and just getting back to being able to walk with a cane. It's not been easy with his health shit cropping up and resulting in scary life threatening shit rather quickly.
I'm there for him though,through thick and thin. I don't abandon people when they're down. If you're insinuating that things are bad with our relationship, then you're wrong. We're still happy to be married. I just don't want to go into the details of this shit because I don't want to bring up personal shit he might want to not tell everyone. We are both depressed and going though a rough patch with that, our health issues have been bad as we've both been in the hospital, him more than me as of recent. We are working through it though,its just tough being in it, but I am supportive of my husband. If he feels like posting more, then he will. -
2018-09-16 at 7:13 PM UTC in Malice
Originally posted by MORALLY SUPERIOR BEING 2.0 - The GMO Reckoning "hey I just read about an obscure chemical compound that a study done in 1967 says might slightly reduce my social anxiety/anhedonia/autism, time to order some from a dnm with my welfare bucks"
Yeah, but most of the shit he suggested wasn't shit you had to use a DNM to buy. Also, he would include a massive compilation of information supporting whatever claim he asserted the drug in question did.
Malice truly helped me a lot in my life, as well as the people around me I love. I'm forever grateful he took his time to help when My grandmother was experiencing signs of dementia and alzheimers. We had many correspondences about this together, and he helped me work out a list of drugs and supplements to help her. My grandmother and I went through it, and she agreed to try it. We bought everything needed, and I made sure she took he meds daily. It worked really well, with noticeable results. The only failing was that she, in a fit a rage and anger, being the stubborn woman she was, decided that she was "cured" and didn't need to take the shit anymore,so she refused from there on out. She knew deep down something was wrong, hence why she decided to try it, but she wanted a cure,and failed to understand that there was no cure. It wasn't antibiotics, where you take it for x amount of of them and it's gone. That's one of the reasons she got angry in the first place. After she discontinued the regimen, she went down hill rather rapidly. It wasn't the fault of his advice, or drugs, rather her own damn fault for being stubborn and a baby about taking several medications daily. It's a shame she refused counseling, but was okay with drugs yet not okay with taking drugs every day for the rest of her life... Backwards really but that was her,not the alzheimers she was always like that, always resistant. She did the same shit with her metformin, until she realized how it helped her not be sick,but that was back and forth too. If she didn't see an obvious, and definite result or "feel" better, then she didn't deem it important. Malice did his part though and his advice and guidance truly helped her. I am forever appreciative for that.
I wish there was shit I could ask him now. I'm sure he'd probably have some answer and advice for me. -
2018-09-16 at 6:51 PM UTC in Malice
Originally posted by RisiR † Where is Bipolar Highrolla?
He's around. I don't want to say too much, but I will say that he's in a pretty bad depressed funk,which I can't blame him for being in. I'm frankly in one too. I just hope somehow he can work his way out of it alright. Love him to death, but it has been wearing, with a lot of pain shot my way because of it. He's had a lot of health issues unrelated to drug use which has had him in and out of the hospital. I'm just hanging tight and hoping for the best, I'm there for him, he's just not good at asking for making clear what he needs. -
2018-09-16 at 6:45 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs Attention
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2018-09-16 at 6:41 PM UTC in Malice
Originally posted by DietPiano Read my autistic rants instead
Malice had very unique autistic rants that I do not believe you can replicate.
You're not going to keep me up to date on the latest research chemical out there that cures x, y, or Z mental illness. You're not going to go on with source links, then divulge into a tangent about how cool something regarding one source/journal states is. You're not going to hypothesis how two of these drugs could work together to do x task in curing mental illness/or some other condition.
Or sometimes he'd go on about the latest and greatest in autism fashion. Those were fun. Or sometimes when he'd go on rants when he was super pissed off. Or when he'd go on philosophical or political debates with Lanny, or some other autist.
I appreciate your invitation, just... You can't compare to the autism powers Malice possessed. I really miss him and no one can take his place as king of autism. I wish he'd have wrote a book. Maybe you all didn't care for him as much as I did, but it's a shame so many could easily toss aside someone who was a cornerstone (IMO) of the community like it seems you all have.