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Posts by hydromorphone
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2018-10-18 at 2:53 AM UTC in klonopin/clonazepam specifically on drug testsI know for fact these tests are testing for benzos, it's from a methadone clinic, which are super strict on benzos popping. They've had Xanax pop, but not clonazepam.
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2018-10-18 at 2:16 AM UTC in klonopin/clonazepam specifically on drug testsIs there a reason this benzo doesn't seem to pop on UAs? I read a while back somewhere that it's metabolites don't hold up well in urine/for drug tests. Anyone know why, or have an anecdotal accounts of this?
Discuss. -
2018-10-17 at 3:41 PM UTC in I'm so glad I bullied malice into killing himself
Originally posted by Technologist What’s funny is people are arguing over who caused someone’s possible suicide, like it’s a badge of honor.
No one here knows for sure if he even killed himself.
But this is interesting.
What a sad life someone must have if they would be proud of causing someone they've never met, only interacting online, to off themselves.There's no certainty, and I've not been able to find out anything, that he actually did go through with it, but I believe he did. I don't think Malice would troll on that. If he didn't, then he just left the forum, and the online profiles he used for good, starting over.
Malice's ass hairs had more value than anything you, sploo, are worth, ever will be, or anything you've ever done or could do at your best. You're the lowest of the low, and while you think you're some super genius who huffs raid for lulz, Malice really was intelligent, miles more intelligent than you could ever hope to come close to.
You know, I miss Malice a lot, and while he probably doesn't have much more than a few people here, and his immediate family, he sure has more people that miss, and mourn his passing than you will when you finally die (hopefully in a fire). -
2018-10-17 at 2:14 PM UTC in Localized Legendarium: Sophie's mythos focus thread.Growing up, I loved all the mythological shit. My dad told me a lot of stories to entertain me regarding the greek, and norse mythology. There are some seriously colorful tales. In the Abrahamic religions, it just seems stupid, and bland, aside from a few interesting, larger than life parts, which compared to other mythological stories, they suck.
The Hindu religion has some pretty wild shit going on in there too. -
2018-10-12 at 3:26 PM UTC in Leave an anonymous message to someone
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2018-10-12 at 3:09 PM UTC in Anyone here have esp?Since I've been young, I've always been able to sense when death was coming, when someone was going to die, or immediately know when they passed despite being away from them, sometimes a thousand miles or more, with no prior knowledge of anything that would tip me off, also a lot have been perfectly healthy, and just dropped, nothing to suspect in the least that there was something wrong. I know when it's coming, but a lot of time I wasn't sure who it was coming for when I lived on the farm.
Through my childhood, I guess around the time I was 3-4 years old it started, my first interaction with "Death" was around the time we had a sick dog. The neighbor had poisoned her, but we were trying our damnedest to save her... Nobody really told me before that about death and dying.... but one night I was sitting in my room, and I saw this black shadow figure thing. I said "hey! who're you? What are you doing in my house?" It didn't so much look like a person, rather it was more a moving blob of black mist kinda. It was moving along the wall when I spotted it, but it kinda stopped, and I want to say like turned in my direction, even though it was featureless, I just got that feeling it was looking at me at that moment. It began talking to me. It told me it was there to take my dog. I was really upset and pissed off. Then it explained that she was suffering, that without them (Death) there would be an entire world suffering in pain far more than it already is. It went on that it was not there to do evil, rather, it was there to bring relief. It asked me if I wanted to see my dog sick forever like that. I of course said "no". It then said to me, "Well, wouldn't you rather her be out of pain and free, even though you'll not see her for a long time?" I'd said that I didn't want her to suffer, and if she needed to die, then I guess it was better than her being in pain. I remember talking to this entity for a very long time. I never felt any sort of fear toward it, and at one point it kind of seemed annoyed at my questions, but it tried to answer them. I have the feeling I caught it off guard, surprised I could see it.
Since that first time, I've seen that entity many, many times after. I had a lot of conversations, cried a lot to this thing, and well... got used to this entity coming in and out of my life. Even now, as an adult, I occasionally will see, and hear that entity. A lot of times when I go to hospitals, and nursing homes, that's when I bump into it. I've ran into it at a gas station once, while I'd stopped to go in and pee, coming out, there it was, which caught me off guard. Then as I left, just up the street, not far, there was a terrible accident. Hell, when I was in the nursing home, an elderly resident died in their sleep on my floor. Hours before, I seen that entity again, had it brush by me, and keep going. Next thing I know, about an hour later, I'm down stairs going out to smoke, when they're pulling this lady covered under a sheet out the back of the place.
On another note, some people, like my father in particular, I could read his mind, and he could read my mind too. We always were thinking the same obscure shit at the same time. I don't have connections like that with too many people, nor as strong as it was with my dad. We both sometimes would have the same dreams.
Another thing too, I sometimes have dreams, or strong feelings right before something bad happens. My friends always thought I was a nut because while coming home or going places, I'd sometimes randomly take a different way, that often times was longer, or out of the way. Every time I ignored those feelings something bad would happen.
I don't know... my dad said I was more sensitive to paranormal things because I had been born with a blue veil (It's part of the sac that surrounds the baby in the womb, and while being born, and sometimes it'll grow thick on the baby's face, and have a bluish color to it. Nurses and midwives way back used to dry them out and sell them to ship captains for good luck.). I know my grandmother, my father, and myself had all been born with blue veils, though I really don't know much more than that about it, but that's why he said I picked up on things like I did. -
2018-10-11 at 1:31 AM UTC in We kinda got to resurrect Totse (the text files)
Originally posted by -SpectraL Knowledge is Power.
You might hate me, and I kinda dislike you, but in a "black sheep" of the family sort of way since you're old as dirt and funny to hear when you go on bitching, or think you're some leet hacker, or whatever, but I do agree with you on this front, and it's what drew me into TOTSE and why I loved it so much as to follow the forums for so long. My father raised me on that quote, he ingrained that into me, and why he never censored shit from me growing up. He knew all about TOTSE, and I even showed him what I'd found, which he thought was cool. I was lucky I didn't have to hide much from him growing up, and lucky too I had a dad who wanted me to have all the power in the world. -
2018-10-10 at 5:32 AM UTC in Leave an anonymous message to someoneTo anon,
Thank you for all the help you gave me through the years. Thank you for the advice, and just talking to me, literally saving my life a handful of times. You were always there at the right moment for me, surprisingly so, even when it had been a while since we last talked. You shared cool shit with me, and well... I mailed cookies. You're a good person, who has very little self worth, and that's your biggest problem. You're charismatic as fuck, but you don't think you're worth anything, and it's why you don't care when you hurt yourself, family, and friends. You're kind, sweet, thoughtful, and loving. You're gonna make a girl really happy one day. Just remember, you're better than what you put yourself down as. You're smart as fuck too. I couldn't accomplish what you've done, I'm proud of you, and that's why I've always looked up to you. I know it's hard right now, but it'll get better. I hope and pray you find happiness, you deserve it so much, just keep at it. It'll fall into place soon enough, honey. Just keep going to the park and watching those sunrises, keep working at it to get better. Maybe you do need medication for your mental health/bipolar shit. Go to the shrink, see a therapist, find a good therapist who fits you. Talk to someone, anyone, don't hold your problems inside. Tell friends, and family, see if they can't help you through this. Remember always, I love you. You're in my heart. You're part of the tiny circle of people who are my family, my kin, the people I love above all, and you always will be I'm forever in your debt for all you've done to help me, all the love, and support at really bad times in my life, and your random acts of heroin. I appreciate you being there so much. Take care, be safe, and I send you off with my love. -
2018-10-10 at 5 AM UTC in What was your most recent bodily injury?My bad knee. I've had it buckle on me quite a bit. The initial ordeal with the infection, osteomyelitis, it getting into the joint too, being septic, and all that shit, has been the most recent serious injury to date. It hurts every time I walk on it. I really am a cripple these days. I have to walk with a cane anymore. Sucks. I feel old as fuck.
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2018-10-10 at 12:46 AM UTC in What time is it8:38pm eastern standard time here. I'm gonna see about getting on this bus that's a comin' soon. Other than that,,, just gonna look at the stars on this clear night sky... I loved to star gaze with my dad. We spent a lot of time out there gazin' away while he smoked, and told me stories... I miss that a lot. I miss a lot of things, and people, especially lately...
Hope you all have a good night, tonight. Hope you all, if you enjoy the stars like I do, have a clear sky, with little light pollution to gaze up at them tonight. I got my pillows and blankets ready to go out, and stay for a while looking. -
2018-10-08 at 2:05 AM UTC in Your Favorite Childhood MemoryPlaying 3DO Might and Magic on our pc qe built together or when I was a little younger,Eye of the Beholder on sega. We had a lot of fun,and long nights where I fell asleep in his arms playing.
Or when he'd take me to the zoo,museums, science center, the little NASA place they had nearby (I think they launched rockets only,but had a museum part too),or going to DC seeing the smithsonian,air and space,and white house regularly. We had so much fun.
If I was down and sad he'd sometimes just take me on car rides late at night.sometime even just because... that was cool too. Just talking,going to this diner with good ass chip beef, and gravy... or going to play keno at the place open 24/7 and eating crab cakes or steamed crabs.
He took me to the national horse show in DC for the week it was happening every morning before the sun rose.I had a blast that weekend. He took off work,bought tickets, and went with me to see,and talk to all the people in the barns. I had a wonderful time, and one of my best memories.
Sometimes in the summer he'd take me to work with him. He worked for Otis elevator.he ordered me uniforms in my size and everything and took me on the jobs with him as much as he could.once in a while he'd surprise me at school to get me out and take me. I had so much fun going on skyscrapers.
In one way or another, all my good memories as a kid were because of my dad. I miss him a lot,even now. It's hard now too because the old guy I cared for for so long died recently and it's like losing a second father and makes me think of my dad a lot too. I couldn't even be there when he died being in the nursing home. He taught me how to make a good gin and tonic.. he was cool to bullshit with too just like my dad.I miss them both a lot.
I'm lucky I had such a great father to give me such grand and wonderful memories. I went parasailing I nm the Florida Keys, and took a private sea plane out to the Dry Tortugas because of him. I swam with dolphins,and manatees because of him. I had a Clydesdale stallion, exactly what I wanted in a horse, because of him.I went to horse shows, and all over gods creation because of him. I was anot extremely lucky child to have the childhood, and father I had. -
2018-10-04 at 3:16 PM UTC in How come when somebody kills themself, somebody's like...
Originally posted by -SpectraL Funny how people keep calling it a "shitty forum" and yet keep coming back again and again.
I mean, come on... It's just some message board randomly on the internet because of another forum(s) closure. Sure, I enjoy most of you guys, else I wouldn't keep coming back, but the forum itself isn't anything to write home about. When I say "shitty" I'm saying it in the most endearing way possible. TOTSE, zoklet, and now NIS has been a huge impact on my life, especially TOTSE, during my early teens.
Originally posted by GGG You must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that prevents total obliteration. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over you and through you. And when it has gone past you will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Not even you will remain.
One of my dad's favorite quotes was "fear is the mind-killer". Some day soon, I'll get over it though. I'm waiting a little while longer just to see if anything changes, because I'd rather keep living the time I naturally would have. I just don't want all this pain and suffering, or at least to have an equal exchange where it's worth while to keep going for the good things. Who knows... Maybe tomorrow I'll be right as rain and happy beyond belief... But probably not. -
2018-10-04 at 11:15 AM UTC in Going homeGlad you seem to be feeling good, buddy. Wish I could say I am as high as you are, but alas... I'm not. It's now your job, as my friend, to get high for me since I do not have the drugs in hand to do so myself. I used to tell 1337 to do a shot for me when he got dope. That was funny, except when he got too sick. Now, Risir, it's your turn. Get high for me and then send that high my way, please.
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2018-10-04 at 11:03 AM UTC in Failed to fetch quoteI have a verifiably shit connection. This happens all the time to me. Story of my life.
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2018-10-04 at 10:45 AM UTC in TramadolI've known a guy who was addicted to tramadol. He was taking quite a few daily for months and months. Yes, it can be addictive.
I personally hate the stuff. It makes me irritable to the point I want to pull my hair out, and cry. I don't get any euphoria at all, even when my opiate tolerance was really, really low unless I took a huge amount, and then it wasn't so much euphoria, as a shaky, buzzy feeling through my body that was nearly intolerable. I'd given §m£ÂgØL the ones I had left over when he got bit by my dog and the ER didn't even write him a script of antibiotics(luckily I had both pain meds, albeit shitty pain meds, and antibiotics, and I threw in some soma for good measure). It's a small town, and a lot of racist folks, so my assumption is that they looked at him as a wet back Mexican (stealin' our jerbz) and said fuck him. I'd given him quite a few different drugs, which he abused all of, apparently. I had so many scripts of the shit that I rarely ever filled them. I should have looking back, just to keep on hand for my animals, and family/friends who may need them.
More power if you like the stuff, but keep in mind that you that it does have potential for physical and psychological dependence. I wouldn't take any sort of opiate more than 3 days in a row if I were trying not to put myself in WDs, but for me, it's too late- I have a 7 year habit now, unfortunately, worse yet, my tolerance is God-tier. -
2018-10-04 at 10:20 AM UTC in How come when somebody kills themself, somebody's like...
Originally posted by GGG Jesus Christ just end it already. If you are this fucked at your age there is no having a happy life anymore.
I'm working on it. As I said before, fear is a huge part of it to get over, and it takes that special mindset, for me. Anyway, to get to the point of going through with it. If it wasn't for 1337 getting a hold of me out of the blue, I'd be gone. Even Malice, who I thought was a pretty brave soul, struggled with fear before going through with it. I p don't want to do it in such away where there will be a high percentage of failure. So, that also means I need time, and space, and/or the right instrument for my demise.
Until then, here I am, posting on this shitty forum, dealing with you guys. -
2018-10-04 at 5:17 AM UTC in We have the moral obligation to start beating the meatOh baby, I'll beat that meat alright.
How big is your dick?, -
2018-10-04 at 5:17 AM UTC in what's the last thing you bought?Trolli gummy worms. They make me sad, but they're so good.
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2018-10-04 at 5:09 AM UTC in We have the moral obligation to start beating the meatOh baby, I'll beat that meat alright.
How big is your dick?
Edit: please don't be like §m£ÂgØL and post your dick everywhere for lulz. I'm perfectly fine in never seeing your likely mammoth German cock. I'll believe you. This is the one exception of pics or it didn't happen. I'll take your word for it this time. -
2018-10-04 at 4:09 AM UTC in Here Is How to Get Justice for the Threads You Posted InGoddamn it! I For moment thought crazy Mike was back! That's not cool. I'm sad enough malice is gone, now I'm sad crazy Mike is gone too.