Yes, this is very important shit to figure out for the future. I sure as fuck don't want to be stuck in space floating around right then radioing 'Houston, we have a problem- we got an ouce of cocaine floating aimlessly through the bridge!' Or 'Houston, we have a problem- how am I supposed to cook up my dope to shoot?!' We better get on the ball and have this shit already figured out.
2016-08-02 at 4:06 PM UTC
in
Identity
That's an interesting thought. Have you ever seen the movie 'John Dies at the End' before? The beginning starts off with the same question though phased with a different analogy (he kills this psycho with an axe but breaks the handle, a season later with replaced axe shaft he kills this alien bug creature and breaks the head. Soon after the guy he beheaded originally returns with his head sewn on with weed Wacker line and says as the guy brandishes the axe 'that's the axe you killed me with' or something to the effect- now was it since both shaft and head had been replaced? Besides that, its a very good movie, one of my favorite and goes on with all sorts of complex questions like the one in the OP.)not just for the the idea at hand, but just because its a damn good movie, I highly recommend you checking it out. Its a little sci-fi, horror, and dark comedy wrapped in one.
I guess it wouldnt be. We all change, nothing lasts forever. I've been told that most people change their tastes and attitudes every 7 years- possibly due to our cells replacing? Another thought on this is with organ transplants. There have been documented cases of people say recieving a heart and developing unusual traits just as the donor had in life- maybe they aren't that exact person because of one organ being replaced but it lends to the idea if we replaced everything would we in fact be the same person and where would that line be drawn at. Interesting stuff.
Well, Malice seems to think Lanny is autistic to some degree, but that's not really dirt considering just about everyone here is autistic anyway. Just read some of the posts In TRT Malice has posted directed at Lanny if it floats your boat.
2016-07-30 at 2:48 AM UTC
in
ATTN: Space Cat Ronaldo
The people's flag is deepest red, it shrouded off martyred dead, and 'er their limbs grow stiff and cold, their hearts blood dyed its every fold. Now hang the banner up on high, beneth its shade we'll live and die- though cowards flinch and traitors snear, we'll keep the red flag flying here.
Again, wtf did I do to you? Maybe I do like to rant- its trt, everyone fucking rants. You're an incredibly hurtful person, §m£ÂgØL. You've acted like you care about others, but it always boils back to you- everything you do is for yourself, your own self centered self. Hope it makes you feel better to hurt me and call me a cunt. You know I've done nothing but care about you deep down, but you just can't help but make yourself to hate me in your delusional bullshit- you know damn well I've done good and selfless shit for you- you don't even understand what the fuck a selfless act is. OMG I'm gonna kill myself if I have to pay child support!!! Yep real compassionate and selfless- Ive kept my word, you're free. I don't know why but I should just drop your name but that's not my style, I don't just continue trying to hurt people with name calling and spiteful shit like you. I pity you, §m£ÂgØL. I don't hate like you either. All you know is how to hate and its sad.
Well, growing up I was always given all sorts of expensive jedielry. When I was 3 my grandfather gave me 1 kt diamond white gold earrings and right now I've got a 1 kt diamond on my hand in 14k gold. I've also over the years had all sorts of expensive shit. Ironicly enough, I hardly wear jedielry and am not impressed with rocks on precious metals. I even prefer silver most the time if I do wear stuff. So honeslty, I don't feel its a big deal. I appreciate what I have for sentimental reasons but I've never felt weird about recieving jedielry from important men inmy life. I don't see the big deal- if she's a girlie girl and would like stuff like that I don't see why not to buy it for her if you can afford it
Funniest shit ever- get text by §m£ÂgØL after he says leave him alone, which I was respecting. Then some shit about 'not wanting to be enemies'- I've done nothing, not one fucking bad word. Then he calls me all sorts of shit drunk as fuck, texts me next day apologizes- all I say is the hurt is done. I wanted to be left alone. Well, I've made some money and I'm a person of my word so I want to send money I to pay back some money he lent (you know, the reason he called me a thief- apparently getting money back to someone in less than 2 months, after he just gives me the collateral I gave him back voluntarily- he doesn't understand that possession is 9/10ths of the law and that I offered to sign a noterized paper that I gave it to him to ease his paranoia) and this text was only a couple hours from the time he last texted in a nutshell saying 'hey, I don't want bullshit or drama but if you got PayPal lemme know so can send money else I'll just send a MO' (funny shit is that he's paranoid of MO's- all you have to do is deposit it in your bank account and wait 3 days for it to clear or just go to a place that fucking issues them like walmart- they cash them right then and there, Ive done it many times, its not hard or complicated- he's told me beofee he would be 'scared' to cash one from me because 'I could get him for why I'm sending money'... Like that even makes sense.) Anyway I get fucking 6 messages at 1 am asking 'when are you sending money? When? ?' Like wtf? Can a nigga get the shit clear in my account first? This is 2 hours after I asked if PayPal was okay. Then he sends me a screenshot and I'm listed as 'Royal cunt' in his contacts- like lol you fuvking want this money so fucking bad- you've called me every name you can think of and told me to kill myself like holy fuck.. 4-5 different times. The only 'negative' thing I've said was about his mental illness, an oh.. Yeah you told me you're 'scared' to drive when I tried to teach you and you're 22 without a drivers license.. This is after I'm a whore, cunt, trash.. Man.. Wtf. Then he wants to 'not be enemies'. I was never an enemy, not ever and dare says that he not delusional- §m£ÂgØL is going to a degenerate alcoholic schizo under his parents roof for the rest of his life- I'm not even angry, I'm hurt, and I truly feel sorry for him. He is extremely mentally ill. He's at the point he can't separate reality from the bullshit and delusions in his head and I am some how manipulating him because I can see it... Anyone who isnt his buttbuddy can see it.. I hope he gets help and that's the honest truth. And if you're reading this, §m£ÂgØL, remember karma is a bitch- its not a threat, I don't need to lift a finger for you to get yours, I know you will, fuck.. You're doing it to yourself and I tried for so long to turn you from that path with genuine love and concern for you and be you not drink, at least not when taking benzos- I tried to help as much as I could. Name one fuckinf person who would go to their doctor for you to get benzos and send them without expecting a single dime in return. Then when I got sick of it and couldn't even take one when I needed t because you felt like hiding my script and ripping the label off while it was sittinf in my room and I said no more- you went and took my othwe bottle out of my truck and when I needed money to sell some- you were the thief lol then dare call me a thief. You're impossible- I hope you get well but you're right, you won't. Youre completely fucked destined for resident pychward patient or at best alcoholic pissing yourself in blackouts under your parents roof in your 40's. Fuck they even told your siblings not to be like you- that should say something. I used to believe that was awful of a parent to say to their child but I can see why that is now- for their sake hopefully you grow up and at least are an alcoholic outside their home.
2016-07-27 at 9:59 PM UTC
in
Lanny... A Champion Among Men
That story reminds me of some shit back in the day I haven't thought about in a long time when I was about 10. I met this guy in a chatroom. We began talking regularly and he had just turned 18. This was when my depression began to manifest to degrees I was conciously aware of and beginning to grasp what depression and suicidal ideation was... I guess we met because I was subconsciously seeking help and this guy was genuinely trying to be helpful though he was suffering from his own chronic depression. Im sure most people off the bat assume this was some pervert but he never in the 4 years we communicated ever asked, insinuated anything sexual, or asked me for for dirty pictures or anything- we just talked about our lives, and different interests, and he always seemed to be extremely positive inspite of the shit he was dealing with to me and sorta tried to be mentor figure to me, I suppose, now I look back on it. He would send me birthday cards and post cards when he went on vacation with his family and I would sneak around and we would talk on the phone now and again. I came to understand this guy was chronicly depressed and even found out, when he would drop off the radar for months at a time, that he over the course of our friendship, had attempted suicide 3-4 times and was in the nutward from time to time. One day, it had been a very long time since hearing from him, I get a message from an email I didn't recognize and its him. He said shit had gone very bad and he had been keeping some things from me for a while, in sort of a way to 'protect' me. Well, we arrange and he calls me. For the last year and a half he had been living with his boyfriend (I didn't know he was bisexual, but he had talked about an ex girlfriend before he was all torn up over losing) who was dealing cocaine and was very abusive. He said that he got the shit beat out of him and ended up in the hospital for a week and then after being released he had attempted suicide again and came close to succeedingband was admitted for 2 more weeks and I then in the lunnybin for a couple months (he verified this shit for me). Anyway, we began to talk again andbhe was living in some halfway house sorta shit and one night we talked again he was extremely depressed and I know he was contemplating suicide again. I tried to tell him to keep his head up an shit would be better... Well, he just dropped off the face of the earth and I never heard from him again. I always wondered what happened to him. Hopefully he just dropped everything and rebuilt his life and moved on. Maybe he was a very elaborate troll (I doubt it because I did get in touch with relatives of his whom he was estranged from but acknowledged him, that they knew him, but refused to speak about him at all). Never found an obituary either so... I also talked with this much older guy like until I was 17- his username he went under was Baron the Curse back in the day. He was a very mentoring figure as well to me and wasn't weird nor creepy at all. We just bullshitted a lot and he gave me advice for dealing with my teenage drama and angst. We just kinda drifted apart and had got a really good job so I didn't hear from him much after that but fuck man... We just talked for 7-8 years. That post made me all nostalgic from back in the day of all the people I talked to online for so fucking long.
Well, I didn't mean it to be an insult- its true, I am a single mom with no real incentive for this quest other than boredom. I am only confident SOMEONE could find you. I might not be that someone, but I look forward to trying with a positive outlook. I am confident only in myself that, in the US where I am familiar with looking, I could find most people. Tbh, the guy with the tattoo who burnt me, I give 80% credit to methamphetamine, 10% to dumb luck, and the remainder to the fact of how pissed off I was. Anyway... Wish me luck so I can get on the Sophie quest sooner rather than later. Gah... Wish I had some meth now to tackle this bullshit. Stress stress and more stress... Ive dicked off too much here today.
Sophie, you have a cat? Wtf? Cats are evil, don't you know? Dogs are the superior companion. (I make exceptions for tigers, Siberian tigers in particular.)
2016-07-24 at 3:27 AM UTC
in
I should have called the cops
Spectral, I do appreciate you speaking in a positive and constructive manner regarding this. I agree with you. I don't want to fight or argue and I've made efforts not to. I genuinely care about §m£ÂgØL from the bottom of my heart and that is the only reason he is able to cause me such pain- you can troll me all day long, you might piss me off, but you'll never have the power to hurt me like he can. I may have not always have been an active user on totse and zoklet, but I've been here before §m£ÂgØL started masturbating, muchless started posting here. PoC could confirm that from totse when his handle was tattered&tornvif he still posted anymore. This group (or what is left of it) has played a huge role in my life and just like those worn jeans I sewed up for §m£ÂgØL before he left that were so sentimental, that's how this place is to me. One of the reasons I didnt post much in the totse days and beginning of zoklet was because I didn't have a lot to contribute, but I certainly was there and lurked, and every once in a blue moon I had something to ask or something to say. If not for those reasons, I'd leave this forum and go elsewhere, but for me, no other group has quite the same feel as here. I just hope I can continue to be apart of the only group I've ever been apart of without the depth of hurt someone like §m£ÂgØL can cause me. Again, I appreciate you being constructive- I'm very stressed and dealing with a bunch of shit... I am going through hell and trying with all my might to keep my head up and fight the good fight. If ever a time there was to be justified to feel like laying down and dying, this would be it and it has absolutely nothing to do with §m£ÂgØL- he is just the burning salt in the wound who keeps coming to dump more when I've done everything I can to disengage with him per his wishes. I honestly cannot spare a single fuck for §m£ÂgØL at the moment for this shit and wish so much we could civilly ignore each other here- I don't wish to fight or argue or contest each other- if he had something to say that didn't involve me or address me, I would not respond and would do the same- I don't wish to even discuss §m£ÂgØL or anything involving him now or in the past and would refrain from answering any questions about him. Even now Ive only addressed what he has mentioned. From here on out: I don't know §m£ÂgØL and §m£ÂgØL doesn't know me and I will not respond on here or even privately to him. If I am harassed, or myself or loved ones are put in danger- I will do what I need to do outside here legally and in a manner that does not involve corresponding with him.
Poor §m£ÂgØL is always the victim- I'll forever be the reason his life sucks despite sparing him from 18 years of child support. Somehow LENDING money I still intended to pay back is theft and I even gave collateral he returned voluntarily. Nothing I can do will make him happy. He is a sad hurting man that can only strike out to hurt others who've tried to be a friend to him because in his delusions he sees them as the enemy. I've even given him his wish of being left alone- I haven't called, texted or emailed. I text back at 3 am when I was accused of calling and was busy doing other things- I swear I hadn't called. He was the last one to call me. Now this shit when I specifically made an effort to avoid contact until I was directly addressed and attacked. I tried to just put it all aside an just move on. Apparently, §m£ÂgØL is incapable of that- he lives in the past and uses abytbinf as an excuse for why his life sucks. Sorry you're inwds, every time before I made every effort to help you through them but you can't remember that now. I wish you'd delete all the hurtful things you've said to me here, I would do the same and we could just move the fuck on.
2016-07-24 at 1:13 AM UTC
in
I should have called the cops
And as you can see up until now I've been civil and tried to be kind. I don't wish to hurt someone who is dear to me and I care about. I don't wish to call names. I've only responded when directly addressed and have tried to not have any contact. He is the one who wants to be petty. He can have it that way.
2016-07-24 at 1:10 AM UTC
in
I should have called the cops
If you check TRT you can see he is incapable of that. I am his scapegoat he will blame for all eternity for why his life sucks so he will despite claiming he doesn't wish to talk to me will continue to use me as his emotional punching bag. I cannot accept this.
Okay, §m£ÂgØL, I haven't before because I genuinely love you despite all your hurt. I've done nothing but try to be civil and respect your wishes, but you can't or don't truely want to do that. I hurts me to have to do this, but I cannot take anymore of your pain you've dealt to me. Just remember, you asked for it. I did not threaten you- I promised you that if YOU hurt myself or those I love here or IRL I would make you regret it. You are very deluded, but hey... You hate me anyway and instead of being able to just not converse, you gotta pull this shit and frankly... I'm tired of it.
Lanny, I have actual evidence in form of doctors, MRIs, and an 11 year history of my chronic pain documented. I was being prescribed pain medication for my chronic pain since I was 16 and only stopped due to it becoming too expensive- I never sold my pain meds because I genuinely needed them (I was on hydrocodone 10's, percocet 10's, xanax, soma and a whole host of bullshit pills like naproxen and prednisone too) an had them legally for 6 years. Im busy with shit ATM, but at some point when I can be fucked with finding my paperwork I'd gladly show you proof. I know a lot of people justify whatever they use with saying they are in pain, I know I am, I have actually hard evidence of it dating back over a decade, but even so I tend to err on the benefit of the doubt- many people do have painbbe itbdocumented or not, its a big problem I honestly believe is under treated especially in recent years. What does it matter anyway? I've been a good mom, I've worked more than most the degenerates here, never been charged nor convicted of a crime and my schooling has only been stalled by my problems I have and a series of bad events out of my control.
Fuck you. What's this about not wanting to talk to me yet why are YOU addressing me? I'm not a liar, thief or user like you. You want to stir the shit, because if you do, we can stir the shit and I promise you won't like it. I've only wished you good. I don't understand why you feel the need to attack and continue to hurt me. I've said before, out of respect for BOTH of us, if you feel the need to communicate, you have my email, my phone number, to be civil, I'd hope you'd choose to do it there. This is the last time I will request such and anymore bullshit from you here or IRL, or communications made here to hurt me, my son, or my reputation will be taken as an attack and I swear you will regret it. I understand you're in pain, you're delusional, and suffering from penibut wds which likely is making you more paranoid than usual and feeling a lot of negative emotions- I truly wish you to feel well again, but just because you're suffering mentally, physically, and emotionally is no reason to take it out on me. Again, I hope you take care of yourself and get well soon. I wish you only the best in life, §m£ÂgØL, and if I can help you in anyway, you're welcome to contact me.
I will keep that in mind, Sophie, just bear in mind it might be a while before I even get started to look, and again, investigating takes time and you will be the first European I've put my sights on, its possible I may fail, but I feel confident there are those out there who actually could if they wanted. We never know who it is we are corresponding with online, but at least from what I've posted here I hope you understand I am a mostly good person who doesn't have malicious intent at least to those who've caused me no harm- even asshole Bill Krozby... I think its funny when he fucks up and bullahit happens just for being a dipshit asshole with no sense of courtesy, but I really don't wish any particular bad upon him, nor would I go out of my way to bring bad upon him. That's why I said, when I get business taken care of here, I'll see what I can do and if I find anything, I'll keep it between us- consider it one friend to another friend showing a weakness in your armour, especially since you seem very proud of your untouchability- not because I ever would intend to use it to harm (unless you caused me or my family harm that is, but you seem like me- no reason to actually do that). All I ask if I do uncover your PI is this: give me credit for my investigative skills here. And well, if not meh.. I probably wouldnt want to admit some single mom in the US who was bored found me out either- I wouldn't take it personal, Id rather just help someone out and they be able to see and rectify their vulnerability- you seem like a decent human being for the most part who helps contribute knowledge they possess and would likely help someone if they asked for help in your range of knowledge. I really really fucking wish I could waste my time to prove a point, but I must stay focused on my mission I am on now- I like challenges like this. Fuck, I don't even have proper internet for the mission I'm on now, just my shitty shitty phone, but I am confident I will prevail in my task. As I said before I am only posting here to take breaks and destress as I go about all this. Wish me luck, because the faster this is resolved for me, the faster I can waste time here on a man hunt for you ; ).
I am loyal- if I say I got your back, then I got your back- it takes being fucked over hard to dissolve my loyalty and if that happens, you'll know, I don't hide my feelings. I've sat in a room with a brand new full script of roxis in wds, plus the guy had about 5k in cash in the desk with it. He left me there. I was waiting for money to be dropped off to buy. He left me there will all his shit for well over an hour. Now, he was stupid to trust me, but that is the kind of person I am. I stick to my values through thick and thin and am loyal to who I call family or friend. I'd only fuck someone over who has fucked me or someone I care about over.
Reject, no I would not. There is nothing I wouldn't do for my child and no mountain I wouldnt move to make him happy. I feel obligated to give him the best life I can in everyway possible. I don't even like heroin, compared to other shit, but there is no amount of drugs I would give him away for. Fuck, years ago this lady who was selling us dilaudid offered me 10 pills for my puppy I had with me and I refused. I was spending 25 each so basically that was 250$ for him and I wouldn't take it for him. I may use drugs, but I have morals and values I adhear to.
