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Posts by hydromorphone

  1. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    *high five*
  2. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Being I have to help this old lady dress every morning, I get many unwanted glimpses of old lady nipples. I think it's funny anyone would think this lady is prudish at all. She has zero shame with her body- I wish she fucking did honestly... I can handle the festering sores of a this old guys legs but the old people nudity is a little much...
  3. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Dude, I edited it with paragraphs like the second after I posted it. It blocks everything into a wall of text anytime I post from my phone.
  4. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    All my plans are on hold currently... My vehicle is taking longer to get fixed than first estimated and might just be getting a new vehicle anyway, courtesy of the elderly guy Ive been caring for- he seems pretty insistent on it despite telling him no.

    This guy I'm living with is in love with my son, treating him in everyway like a grandfather. He had lost his son in his first and only marriage to SIDS, which resolved the marriage and he has been alone the majority of his life save for his sister who died of a heart attack 10 years ago on forth of july- she just keeled over dead in front of him. He had served in Vietnam and his job was to bag up the bodies- he is very patriotic and while cleaning I ended up moving this radio he had. He burst into tears worried about it, since a young man he was friends with gave it to him right before he was supposed to be shipping home, but was KIA.

    This guy has infected legs that require bandaging. Before I came the nurse only came out twice a week to do the bandaging. I stepped up to help him so hopefully they can get healed again. This guy needs someone to help him a lot. Its sad. He is such a giving person and such a lonely soul.

    Another person who has come to stay is this old lady. She is sweet as could be, and while everyone takes her a prude and typical old woman, she's not. We've had real heart to heart discussions about both of our depression and suicidal ideations. Her grandson has been stealing money from her for years, along with her drugs. When I went to pick her up to bring her here, I arrived with her in tears as she just realized that when he came over right before I got there, that he stole 200$ from her purse along with her oxycodone, her heart medication, and her arthritis medicine- he left her magnesium though :/. It pisses me off so much that someone would do this to her- he was over because she was paying his phone bill.

    The month before, along with other shit she gave him, she gave him 200$ for his daughter's first birthday so they could throw a party. He won't even let her see her grandchild and didn't even so much as bring a picture of the party for her.

    She has been head over heels for my son, and just like the old guy, loves and treats my son like a very affectionate grandparent. When we go out or if she thinks of ANYTHING he needs, she gets whatever for him and just lights up everytime she sees him smile- both of them do. I really am amazed at how happy this baby makes them both and how quick they have just attached to him, wanting to just give him the world. I feel blessed that my son, despite having no real family like most people, has grown on complete strangers that just give him their whole hearts. Not even my son, but me, they've just given me their hearts too. I am constantly asked if I need anything or want anything. Both of them have gone to the store and returned with clothes they saw they thought I would like, shoes, hell, even the old guy came back one day with this pretty little purse handing it to me saying he thought I needed a pretty purse to match a pretty young lady. If I even hint I don't have many cigarettes, on his way to the store he has brought me home packs. If we talk about food we like, the next day its almost certain it'll be in the refrigerator. He's even planning for us to go fishing together soon, and tomorrow the older lady is insisting on taking us all to the beach and then to dinner.

    If I stay here, my son and I would want for nothing, not ever and even then, they've both been prattling on about making sure my son can go to "the best college anywhere he wants" when he is older. The old guy has an appointment with his lawyer this month- Im pretty sure its to adjust his will to include my son. The old lady has flat out said she is going to be doing something similar soon too.

    I feel very mixed about all this. On one hand, I am glad I can help them both with their health related issues- the VA isn't doing enough to help this guy, and it seems to be getting better now I've been changing bandages daily as well as mixing up some ointments I've made myself to put on his legs, but we've just began this routine not too long ago so we will see how it pans out. The old lady, she suffers from heart failure and diabetes and I've been helping her with hwe insulin along with a wound she has on her foot. Since her grandson stole her pain meds, I've been giving her T-PAIN and the same for the old guy since his doctor has been under medicating him anyway- they both deal with a lot of chronic pain, especially the old guy and thankfully the T-PAIN has been working for that as well as helping with both of their depression they've had no doubt caused by the pain, and shit care they've received from the healthcare system and either lack of family or family that uses, abuses and neglects them.

    I sometimes feel like I am taking advantage of them both for as kind as they are to my child and myself, but I've basically have turned into a live in nurse- I go over their medications with them, and help them decide what the best thing to do is. They trust me a lot. I also have been doing the dirty work as far as the wound care goes and helping them both with personal hygiene.

    His nurse had an attitude with me at first when I stepped in and began doing things my way, but now she really can't argue since its showing improvement and since she's been here there has been very little doing shit her and the doctor's way. I'm always going with them to their doctors appointments in the coming weeks because they both (him especially) feels the doctor doesn't listen to them and they think he might listen to me- so I've volunteered to be their patient advocate sorta...

    I feel overwhelmed by it. I dont want to let them down or go back to the way things were just a few short weeks, but I don't wanna be stuck here unable to live my life. I've been doing side work too, so its not like I am taking advantage of them though they do go out of their way to make my life a lot more comfortable than it would be. These people need help and nobody has stepped up to do it. It makes me happy that I can do what needs doing and I feel so good that I'm actually, visibly helping a man with these problems get something that's been going on for 5 years now, healed to the point his nurse is amazed at the progress. Also, the old lady, she has completely cut off her family who has been using her since she's been here. I talk to her a lot and try to advise her and show here how all the shit she is doing for these assholes isn't even helping them and how she needs to let them learn to help themselves. She's a giving person and it seems all that money has been redirected to my son and even me when it strikes her to buy me stuff... I guess she's always just wanted love and a family and people to appreciate her and not having that, she just took what she could get from her spoiled, drug addicted grandson and her daughter who is basically the same, who would only show up to visit her to get their phone bill paid and when they needed money and when shed get her check.

    I know I am in a position I could use both these people for as whatever I wanted and I could ditch this job anytime I wanted (fuck, they love when I am home with them and spend my day hanging out watching TV with them). The fact that I let my son be apart of their lives, show them love, and say kind words is enough that I could take them pretty much for all they are worth- shit, her grandson has been calling her a bitch minutes after handing her his phone bill to be paid, or asking for money, or making excuses he needs money for his daughter, then not even bringing the baby over to see her or letting her come spend time with her granddaughter- he has done all this for years now and still she's tried every way to help and give her last dime to them- atleast if I were going to use her, I'd actually be giving her what she wants in life; a grandchild to be close to and someone who is nice and loving toward her.

    The old guy, he has just been alone so long. He treats me like a father and a close friend- recently, knowing how depressed I've been, and my broken heart, he has been trying to get me to meet someone, hinting I should be dating, offering to lend me his car to go wherever I want to go (the one day I needed to get to work he handed me 20$ for gas and another 10$ saying he wanted me to go somewhere after work to have a good time despite me arguing I would be back after work and I had money for gas), and when I mentioned this guy I had met a little bit ago after he kept prying, he keeps nudging me to take him up for a date he has practically been begging me to go on with him. I kept blowing this dude off until it just became such a pain in the ass that it was easier to just say yes and tell him I was planning a date than listen to him worry about me and telling me all sorts of shit about why I should be trying to meet a man.

    Just a month and my life has been completely turned all in such crazy directions. Its not been bad, but I really just want to go and live my life. But I don't want to abandon people who need me either. I feel like I am stuck... Maybe not in a bad place but it certainly isn't where I want to be...

    (Also, I need to figure out wtf BLONDE hash is and where the fuck one would find it- the only guy said he wasn't interested in pot but this blonde hash he used to smoke years ago- I'm thinking of just getting him some hash oil to try and see if he likes it.. Gah, its cool and all he is open to marijuana but damn if he don't have to be difficult about it lol)
  5. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Oh fuck off, Bill Krozby. Get your head out of your ass, it really doesn't suit you.
  6. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    I'm in the same boat. I have a date next week with this guy who I met who has been Texting me every fucking day. His gf cheated and left him a few months ago and he had to move in with a friend of a friend who doesn't smoke. He just got an apartment and is moving so once he's settled he has invited me to to come over and he said he's going to buy an ounce of some high dollar shit for us, along with some top shelf rum. He doesn't like parties or being super social like me, but he's been begging me to hang out with him for a bit now and wants to take me out to dinner. I'll be honest- I'm going for the bud. I've tried blowing him off but it hasn't been working so.. Meh, might as well enjoy some company and get trashed one night while Im still young I guess. I haven't smoked in a long while so I definitely look forward to that.
  7. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Ebony Pyles. That's a perfect name lmfao.
  8. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Peanutbutter jelly time at the Walmart store I worked at for nearly 3 years. It came on the same time every single night I worked. It was awful- it made me want to kill my coworkers and customers so I started taking my lunch breaks to avoid the song induced psychosis it created in me. It was funny at first... But its one of the reasons I ended up quiting.
  9. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Oh, I didn't mean to come off as you not contributing, just saying I'm pleasantly surprised this thread stayed on topic (first thread in a while I wasn't called a stupid bitch- inb4 being called a stupid bitch) and had contributions to the topic. I'm on my cheap shitty phone ATM so streaming anything is next to impossible, but when I get WiFi tomorrow I will be sure to check this thread and take a listen to what everyone recommended.

    If there is one thing I like about you Mq, its your posting style. You put a good deal of thought (or at least come off as you do) into most yours posts, even if it is completely out there batshit sometimes- I'm always interested in seeing your replies to any given thread. Thanks for your contribution.
  10. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Well, fuck... You think you'd be grateful dis nigga would send you more than a box full of cat shit. Shit nigga, send it to me, I would be happy to get free shipping on my drugs courtesy of some weirdo on this broken forum. You need to learn to look at life like this: instead of seeing it as x-amount of dollars away from Drug purchase, see it as x-amount of dollars that won't be coming from your pocket for drug purchase, in effect giving you free shipping you otherwise would be paying for. Gratitude- you wouldn't think its something you would have to teach people... But I guess in this day in age it is.
  11. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    lol at least do a better job at impersonating §m£ÂgØL, goiium. Shit nigga, with you and Bill Krozby you'd think you could come up with less generic, more creative insults than 'stupid bitch'. I mean for fuck's sake! How many times have I been called that? I'll give mq credit, if he put his mind to it (fuck dis nigga is just gifted with the ability to rattle off funny and offensive shit, I don't even think he tries and would be scared if he attempted to put true effort into it) he could at least have a genuinely creative and unique personalized short story to insult me.

    He is also right, I never attempted to psychoanalyze Enter, I simply tried to provide a positive and encouraging response to the OP expressing my opinion on the topic.

    Oh and while I am here... Enter, you should know, there is no such thing as 'had autism', you either do, or you don't- it's a mental handicap that people who are in the category of 'having', have for the rest of their life- from birth until death. People with it don't get cured, or wake up one day without it, they just learn to cope and use other parts of their brain to compensate. Just thought you should know :/ good luck with that.
  12. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Took a roadtrip down memory lane and went back to my home town. The more shit changes, the more it stays the same. Nostalgic as fuck ATM.
  13. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    lmfao. You walked in, and proved my fucking point. I'm not a Lanny-lackey, I just agree and disagree with him sometimes, just like most others here.

    The one thing I really agreed with in regards to Lanny's retort is that, like you, this supposedly hard working guy- where has that gotten you? Not very far. I think you're just jealous that this girl who probably has never worked a real job in her life is already miles higher than you in a socio-economical standpoint and you're mad because of that. Sure, I don't agree with that, you would never find me with a shit ton of frivalous things I just bought begging for bus fare, but... Who cares? What are you going to do about it other than bitch? Life isn't fair. More power to her I suppose to winning at the game of life. Move the fuck on and keep on keeping on. I think the its also hilarious the shit you post about such as using woman for sex, drugs and money yet for some reason this is any different when you boil it all down. For some reason you want to stand on the moral high ground and act like you don't use and manipulate people to get what you desire- at least this girl wasn't lying or decieving to get her begged for bus fare.

    Go ahead- Ive grown use to your dumb little insults that repeat themselves like a broken record.
  14. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Keep at it. Im sure it would be a bitch and a half to figure and get shit right but I think possibly using a box and a vacuum pressurized might be one step into prepping our much loved and needed drugz. Hmm.. My brain hurts ATM so that's all I got on the 'using/prepping drugs in space' topic. I'd like to hear ideas from Sophie, Malice and hell even Lanny on this matter being pretty smart guys. I'd bet Malice already has this shit figured out tbh and if not give him 2 hours and he'd have some solution to the problem with his autism powers.
  15. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Oh and Mq, I figured most would disagree with being 'saddest ever', but being music is very subjective, I first wanted to see if anyone could see why I'd think its sad or maybe had a similar experience as I had with this song- maybe you don't agree its the saddest ever, but can you see any trace of sadness within it? And, what do you think is a deceptively sad song? Some songs have a catchy tune, have lyrics that are misinterpreted, etc. and may not strike the listener as being sad upon first listen... I was wanting to see what you all thought on the matter and I'm happy to see some of you delivering.

  16. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    did your uncle give you a very special, very uncomfortable screening of the wizard of oz?
    No, I grew up with very little connection at all with any relatives and from 13 onward had zero contact at all. It was just my dad and grandmother from then on out along with several older friends who I guess took on a maternal/paternal role toward me as a teenager- the ones who haven't died, I'm still in contact with and am treated like family. Never was sexually abused by anyone save for my exhusband who took advantage of issues I have.

    I guess why this is such a sad song for me is because when I was little I had this gay unicorn music box that played 'somewhere over the rainbow' when it was wound up. Anytime something bad happened, I was sad, got in an arguement with my mother, and like a million times after my grandfather, whom I had been extremely close to died of brain cancer, I would sit in my room and play the melody over and over again, most of the time I would be crying. To this day, hearing it brings tears to my eyes and while I can hold them back most times with self control, it always brings a pang to my heart. The theme of the song in a nutshell is seeking or moving from a bad place to a better place- that there is this place... But on the other side of the coin its unattainable- its over the motherfucking rainbow! How the fuck do I get over this goddamned fucking rainbow?! Another reason, for me at least, I find it so sad is because it beings me back to a time when I was a young child and it spurs a lot of memories and thoughts from back then... A lot of hope I had was based on completely unrealistic ideas of salvation from the pain and sadness I was coping with at the time. I agree, for most, this isn't a very sad song, but for the unrealistic hope it conveys (over a goddamn rainbow), with a shallow promise, I feel it's a deceptively sad song for that reason.
  17. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Lanny, sometimes you post shit in a thread and I just love you for it. This is an example. Sometimes you act like an uppity yuppie shit, but then you come in a thread like this and say what I was thinking (plus any kind of serious response to a Bill Krozby thread involves juvenile insults and being called a bad mother). Good job.
  18. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Yeah, I was thinking that. Even if it did cover rent, you gotta have first, Last and security most places with a credit check an possibly a background check. That's the problem once people become homeless and why many struggle to escape it.
  19. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    I think most people look back on their past selves and cringe a bit. In five years time you'll probably look back to this time period and be like 'wtf was I thinking?' over something you did or said. Its human nature. Its a rare individual who can examine their youth and not have some regrets over their actions, words, or attitudes. We change as we go through life and learn new things until the day we die. It is what it is, I wouldn't be too hard on yourself over it. Care to post any of these conversations for us to confirm your autism?
  20. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Most deceptively sad song ever, IMO. Maybe its because of what I've had it relate to in my life (its a song attached to a lot of tragic moments in my life). Agree? Disagree? What do you all consider a deceptively sad song?
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