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Thanked Posts by OMGPLZUNBAN

  1. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    Same place with all the tweakers. The property went all the way down to a slew. A kind of inlet from the ocean. It was all dirty and nasty but there was a spot where us kids could hang out, make a fire, smoke weed, drink nigga liquor. Just go buck wild away from the tweakers.

    One time we ordered a pizza. Pizza guy shows up and we ask him if he wants to smoke some pot or have a shot or anything. He says yes and starts foolowing us to the very back of the property. This house was over 100 years old and the family mostly became fukt up people so their were shacks in a bunch of places. It was pretty ghetto.

    The guy is following us and he's getting sketched out. We take him on the trail, which wasn't very long, and he stops and says he's good. I think it was Poast and I and we're right at the curve in the trail where you can see the fire. Pizza dude says something like he doesn't believe us and we're pleading with him. "Dude! Take two more steps and you'll be able to see it."

    Guy was just too sketched, didn't believe us and figured he'd take his chances walking through tweaker alley by himself. I know pizza guy remembers that to this day because he was sketched out.
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  2. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    Don't tell WifeDead but I'm indoctrinating the cat he gave me.

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  3. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by CASPER You were paranoid about being put on a watchlist for discussing radical white nationalist literature. Also poast was drunk asking you if you thought you were free of the zionist conspiracy and like have YOU ever seen a jedi corpse and you were like OMG SHUT UP DUDE IMMA HANG UP cuz ur lady was in the same room or something. Idk. It was amusing,

    Poast and I joke about that all the time. Talk about some thing completely off limits and when some one starts going to far claim we're definitely on a watch list now. Pulp Fiction, "Are you on a cell phone? I don't know you! Prank caller! Prank caller!"

    Poast was always giving me shit about cucking out. I was probably just make jokes that didn't land with you.
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  4. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    I think it's funny I'm trying to defend myself of being racist on a forum called niggas in space.
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  5. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    I also don't know what the Turner Diaries are. Poast and him were probably rattling off and I zoned out doing something else because I don't care.
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  6. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    If you ever met OMG, you wouldn't doubt any aspect of the story. You might be surprised, sure, but not doubtful. He says he was on his best behavior, and I'd totally support that claim–but he has a tremendous capacity for not being able to read a situation, and he was drinking hard as fuck.

    Mostly I'm in bed by 10 or 11. I got drunk as fuck that night. I can't remember the last time I blacked out before that night. I vaguely remember them saying they were going to sleep and walking towards my room and that's it. Walking out claiming I hate niggers sounds like a bold statement from a wild desperate man with nothing to lose. It's not even funny. I'm pretty embarrassed.

    I had probably been drinking for almost nine hours by the end. Jesus Murphy.
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  7. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by MexicanMasterRace I hope this is real

    They showed up at 1 in the morning. I was already trashed when they showed up and I kept drinking. I do not remember getting out of bed to yell racist shit. Talking to Poast too much I suppose. I must've been black out going for shock value.

    I woke up and my computer is on my coffee table. There's nothing to do in my room so I was on my couch surfing the webs quietly. Then I heard the faggot line and thought it was funny so I laughed. This isn't the first time I've been accused of watching people. Had a buddy living on a futon in my old apartment. He had a girlfriend. Late one night I had to go to the bathroom. The bathroom door is right across from my door. I hear sounds in the itch black living room and I can tell they're having sex. I go piss and go back to my room.

    Later the guy told me she thought I was in the hallway watching. Disgusting.

    And before WifeDead left he placed a bunch of jokers cards everywhere. I'm still finding them every once in a while. I ended up texting the girl and apologizing. She accepted it. Took to much, took to much.
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  8. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    I was 18. I was gonna take a grey hound back to Montana. A grueling three day bus ride. So I decided to get decked out. Went to the second hand suit/dress shop and told them I wanted to be decked out in a white tux. They pull one out and say this one's good but the tails are pretty long. They hung to my knees. It was perfect. They got me white gloves and white dress shoes and said they could get a white top hat from his dads store for $20. Come by in the morning to pick it up.

    It's me, Poast and his girlfriend who liked being choked with a stump hand. After some delays the guy shows up in a shitty van and gives over the suit. I think I just threw it on immediately and the guy would drive us to his dads store to grab the hat. This was back in our whip it days. Poast and his girl are blatantly doing whip it in the back seat and I'm riding shot gun chatting with the dude.

    Pick up the hat and guy drives us back and fucks off. So we needed to go to the bank to take out all my money. $314 or something. Poast jokes that I want it all in ones. Sounds funny to me.I take one of the stacks of hundreds and put it in my front pocket and we start walking to the mall. A buddy sees us and pulls over and gives us a ride the rest of the way. When I got out of the car that stack in my pocket must've fallen out because next time I looked, it was gone.

    We were running wild. Doing whip its, talking shit probably. I got a picture of me sitting on Santas lap. My mom might still have that one. I can't remember if it was this time or a different time but we're doing whip its behind the mall. Then we're walking back in from the back halls and security grabs the kid wearing my back pack. I made him wear it so I didn't look retarded. WE wait around and find him. They just took all the whip its but left my cracker. Huh.

    It was a long time ago so I'm sure I forgot a bunch of smaller stories of that day. I was a spectacle on the greyhound and in greyhound stations. People would ask why was I looking like the flyest mother fucker since '84? I'd respond with, "I got left at the altar." or, "My dog died." or something stupid. I showed up to my parents around 11 and my dad wakes up. Gives me a hug after looking me up and down and thinking what an idiot. I didn't even call in advance to let them know I was coming. It worked out though. They were moving and could use the help. However, if I had showed up a week later they wouldn't have been there. I would've been stuck, in the middle of winter in Montana with no way to contact anyone. Would've been funny showing up at the shelter in a baller tux though.

    Unrelated one time I was being a dousche in the mall. I did something and a fat security guard tells me to some here. I say no. He get more forceful, "I said come here!" This guy was fat as fuck. I respond, "Why you can't catch me." And slowly jogged away.

    One time an old man flipped me off. I forget what I did but it must've been a pretty assholish thing for this guy to waste his last fuck on me.

    One time, 4th of July, me and my buddies had been drinking and riding our bikes through the crowd. This girl steps out of no where and I slam into her. WE both go down and this girls grand dad is in my face screaming, "FUCK YOU YOU PIECE OF SHIT! FUCK YOU!" The cop that showed up was the cop from our high school who was a really cool dude. Poast and I would talk to him after school waiting for our bus. I asked him a Ween lyric once. "Why do the ones you hold so close can make you cry?" And he gets all deep. "Well, I feel like if you love someone you have to open yourself to your vulnerability and it doesn't always pan out." Or some gay shit. It wasn't very funny. Any ways, when I went to pick up my bike my breaks were undone. Pretty sure that cop got me off.

    That's enough for now. I got stories for days.
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  9. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    When I was 17, Poast and I met these two dirty hos in high school. We got closer and smoked a ton of weed with them. The main ho, who was very manipulative was in charge of her lackey. I looked up to Poast a bit because he taught me to smoke and knew some dude who was considered cool at school who taught him.

    The main ho came up to us at a table at the school. Poast and I had been smoking shwag a ton and talked about how we should manipulate people and everyone sucks. She comes up and just straight asks us, "Do you guys think you're better than everyone else?" We've talked about this so I say yes. Poast says no. Always throwing me under the bus.

    We all lived decently close together so us 4 would hang out and smoke weed at main hos house because her parents didn't care. I was the first to turn 18 and we smoked a bunch of salvia in her room too. The walls were covered in blankets and when I was tripping the wall turned into a bunch of foot by foot squares of blanket traveling down. One of the blanket squares had her face telling me, "Your in blanket world now." I used to have my salvia journal typed out but it's lost to time.

    4/20 was coming. This was when I was 17. A nearby forest always held a kinda commune pot fest. It wasn't legit or anything. Some people would set up tables and sell glass. We decided since I was the only one with a job I should buy a bunch of shwag and we'd keef it, make hash, then turn the rest of the product into butter. So we took all the trichromes off the nappy dirt weed and didn't even turn it into butter. We just added it to brownie mix. Stems and all.

    We ditch school and take a bus there. As we get closer we're getting more and more excited walking up the hill. We're walking along with a ton of other people which added to our excitement. I don't know about anyone else there but I'd never done anything like that or felt the vibe of gay hippie positivity.

    We break into where the park was and it was just packed with people. People openly smoking, passing, drum circles, dumb commie bitches holed up in trees. This was more southern california and these stupid bitches were yelling from their perches, "Save the trees!" Fuck it I'm down. Time to sell some brownies. We sold a ton. Since it was full of stems and shitty dirt leaves you could see green just oozing out. This turned out to be a nice selling factor. Fucking retards.

    So we're wandering around, smoking, selling, just really having a good time. Then 4:20 hits. I swear to god a huge cloud of smoke just started rising into the air. It was awesome. I also notice they're were a bunch of black gangsters there which I thought was funny. A place where the hippies and gangsters can relate and interact. Legitimate picture from that day:



    After that there was a crowd of people in a circle. A large crowd. I pushed my to just behind the front so I could see and all I see is an old white man and a younger, bigger black man in the middle of the circle. The black is yelling, "Yeah! we'll fight! But we need a bottle!" He's circling around the inside of the ring repeating that yelling at everyone. Kinda close to me I see someone nudging their buddy and the guy passes over a bottle with a look on his face like, 'Man. I just wanted to watch a bum fight. I didn't want to pay for it.'

    The two dudes both take giant swigs. Gulping from the bottle. Fights on. The black dude is punching the fuck out of whitey for all the systemic oppression this old bum has put him through. Whitey goes down. Crowd is going wild. Whitey gets back up and is just getting his ass kicked. There's a girl next to me with her hands over her mouth and a worried look saying, "That's my dad...." I think whitey got up again before the whole place started yelling, 'COPS!' and we decided that was a good time to leave.

    We went back a couple more times in later years but the entire surrounding towns are such shitholes that it just turned ghetto and the cops were just shutting them down.
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  10. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    I'm really trying to make history happen here guys. I mean, it feels like I'm the only one bumping. With awesome and original 100% custom stories. How do you think that makes a man feel? I'm talking about free 100% custom LOLcats and guaranteeing a place to be a part of history in THE LONGEST THREAD ON THE INTERNET!

    What do you people want from me?! Haven't I given you enough?! What is wrong with what I'm doing? I'm busting my butt to entertain you people. Why am I not good enough for you guys? Am I below the threshold of NiggasIn.Space community standards? Am I not worthy of a simple bump?

    I have a dream that one day on the internets of NiggasIn.Space, the sons of former faggots and the sons of former niggers will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood. Five score years ago, a great poster, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, this momentous post came as a great beacon of light of hope to millions of spammers who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It would be fatal for the website to overlook the urgency of the moment. There will be neither rest nor tranquility on this site until we are granted our account making rights.

    But there is something that I must say to my posters, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for faggotry by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into cyber bullying.
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  11. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    My grandma died this morning. Family visited and the nurses told me they were in her room. They weren't. I just walked in on a dead old lady. Mouth agape, eyes open staring at the ceiling. Afterwards, when I got home I was thinking I should've taken a picture. Probably best I didn't because knowing me I'd post it for the lulz.

    So let's switch gears here. A long time ago, I had just recently broken up with Ho-Zilla. I was a drunk filled with emotions. I told my buddy Greg I wanted to get in a fight. I had been jogging a lot and was over confident in my self. We're walking to a party and pass a guys house. There's a dog behind the fence barking at us. Greg starts barking back. Really riling it up. I assured him that's enough and lets go.

    Greg was into a lot of drugs. Many stories with that guy.

    We get to stepping and a truck pulls up to us with a fat shirtless dude seething at the mouth. "THE FUCK YOU DOING TO MY DOG YOU FUCKS?! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN ACT LIKE PIECES OF SHIT?!" Greg is high and is trying to claim we didn't cause any harm or something. Poast status of trying to calm someone down. It never works. So this dude is getting more and more enraged and screams at us, "I"LL SHOOT YOU BOTH IN THE FUCKING FACE!" He said this a couple times before I told him, "Hey man. We're sorry. We won't do it again and I swear we just won't walk by your house anymore."

    He calms down almost immediately and drove off. Greg said, "I thought you were looking for a fight." Yeah but not with a fat shirtless dude in the middle of the night claiming he's going to shoot me in the face.


    Another time the power went out. Greg says, "You know what that means?" I'm interested. "Now's the time to go robbing." He's fukt up but can hold his drugs. He had this sweet chinese blade about 8 inches long he grabs and I follow him. Two blocks away we see a cop. Greg just throws the knife on the ground and I decide fuck this. I convince to come back home.
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  12. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    I got an oldie but a goodie:

    I was working at some fast food place at the time. Hanging out at the local ghetto spot, a guy comes over and starts drinking with us. This was at B** street. So we're hanging out with my buddies mom. This guy is showing us scars from when he got into a machete fight. They were gnarly. We get good and liquored up and my close buddy convinces me that we should go to where this dude lives. He assures me I'll be back in time to make it to work.

    So we load up into his shitty truck. There's a bunch of trash in the back. As we're driving down the highway, the hood pops up and it takes a second before the guy pulls over. I offer my shootlace to tie it down. Problem solved

    We're driving farther and farther out of town when he pulls over. Apparently the plan was to just dump all of the trash on the side of the highway. I'm already in this far so I help try to get the trash out as fast as possible. When a truck pulls behind us. So we jump back in the truck and go speeding away. The other guy is following us so my driver is speeding like a nut. Probably a bit tweaked out. I'm sitting bitch, no seat belt, looking behind us watching the guy following. We were going through twists and turns through the hills and we were looking for a place to lose him. So we'd go around a turn, see a turn off and I'd say, "Nope. He still see's us." Until finally, the guy is far enough behind us we take an off road, jump out of the truck and hide in the forest.

    The guy never found us but us three had scattered. I covered myself up under some ferns. I was the first one to come out after a while. I yell for my buddy and he comes out. We yell for the driver and nothing. We waited a long while before deciding that we had to walk. So I untie my shoelace holding the hood and we get to stepping. I remember we also unloaded the rest of the trash into the woods. I told my buddy we'd probably have to sleep in the woods, kill the rest of the bottle in my back pack and we'd be home in two days.

    It was a long walk. One we weren't going to make in one day. Some nice guys picked us up and drove us closer and we walked to the nearest town to our home. We're asking people if they'd give us a ride. One cholo dude asked us what was in it for him we were broke and he told us to fuck off. So we start walking again. We had been walking so long that we were both irritable. We got pissed at each other and I was walking 50 feet in front of him. I was just counting the eucalyptus trees. Hours later I slowed down and we were walking together again. I asked him, "You still pissed?" He said 'Yeah.' I respopnded, "Yeah. Me too."

    We finally found a phone when we were close enough that the dude I was with called a buddy that had a car and he picked us up and we finally made it home.

    A while later my buddy said we were going to be out there for two weeks. Dude! What the fuck?! I would've lost my job! Why?! He just said he thought it was funny. A long while later we met the guy who was driving the truck full of trash. We asked him where he hid. He said he heard us but just didn't come out. He also told us he didn't realize I had taken my shoelace holding the hood down so when he came out and started driving the hood flew up again.
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  13. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    So there I was...

    4th of July years ago. I have a massive storage of mortars from living i a non-gay state. Night comes down and I go into the parking lot. People are lighting off sparklers and gay shit.

    I have an idea. I live barely in city limits so you are not allowed to blow off mortars. I decide the best idea is to lay out four mortar base thingys and just walk around passing them out. I didn't light one mortar that night.

    When the cops showed up, I just just an into my house. Some neighbor got a ticket but I never heard anything from it. I told everyone I gave the mortars to it was illegal and it was on them. I knew the cops were going to show up a some point. I had a escape plan.
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  14. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
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  15. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    This petty bullshit is all gay. Poast wants recognition of the being the biggest faggot so just give it to him.
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  16. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    More applebee stories!

    One time this short fat kid with a big butt got hired. Pretty decent worker and got the hang of things. Then his brother got hired. Really scrawny kid and he sucked at work. It took him forever to get things down but once he knew how to do something he knew it for good. They were Cameron and Guage. They earned the nick names Cam Shaft and .12 Guage.

    WifeDead and I use to fuck with each others stations to make it as messy as possible. Or only I fucked with his. I forget. WifeDead was fry side and I was mid doing burgers and shit. Fry side had an improper drain so water would pool there when we cleaned the floors. One time, to fuck with WifeDead, I took the garden hose, set it around the corner where he couldn't see it and barely turned it on. He was splashing around in water and when he found out just said, "I don't really care."

    So Cam Shaft worked fry side. He was an early out one day so I'm terrorizing WifeDeads spot because he has to close. I'm lifting up cutting boards and throwing hot sauce and pepper under there and a bunch of other shit. Cam Shaft tells me to stop. I assure him he doesn't have to clean it so what's the problem? He keeps telling me to stop and I don't. He was kinda a weird kid so next time I go to do something he's holding a giant knife and lunges at me. I jump back and don't get stabbed.

    The felon on the line, who has stabbed a prison guard in the throat told me, "I thought that was real." So I asked Cam Shaft later. Were you really going to stab me? He replied, "I didn't know I wasn't going to stab you until I didn't."

    Then I tried to take him shooting and WifeDead asked me, "You're going to take the kid who almost stabbed you, and put a gun in his hands?" Then I moved to Montana, where .12 Guage and Cam Shaft were originally from. I'm working a shitty gas station job and I see Cam. We exchange numbers and I finally take him shooting. Showed him his first pot plants too. He left one of my .22s loaded and had minimal gun safety and couldn't aim for shit but it was fun.

    I lost his number with my old phone but last I heard he fell in love with some one older than him with a kid. Apparently she's a freak. He showed me some pictures and she looked hot. He told me stories about how he can ask to eat chocolate sauce off her body. She just said to keep it out of her hair.

    One time up here in Montana I was drinking beer with him on his birthday and he told me a story. He met some guy who offered him weed late at night outside of the library. Cam agrees and goes to his house. The gentlemen offered Cam to butt fuck him and Cam agrees. Then the guy says it's only fair that he can buttfuck Cam. The guy assures Cam that if he doesn't like it, he'll stop. It starts getting bad for Cam and he says so. The guy just keeps buttfucking this poor kid. Cam told me this story laughing. I laughed with him because I think he was trying to cope with it but I was shocked. I never pegged Cam to be into pegging. Let alone being raped by a strange man with the allure of drugs.
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  17. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    WifeDead blew me tonight.

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  18. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    WifeDead apparently is talking to me again. A breath of fresh air.

    Hopefully he posts some stories,
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  19. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    I saw the guy born without legs again today. Really cool dude so I asked him what's up. He said fine and asked me how I've been doing. I replied, "Well my life sucks."

    Then this guy three feet below my head level, rolling around on a skateboard says something along the lines of, "That sounds horrible man. Tell me about it."

    I forget the actual exchange but I caught on that he was making fun of me and we both laughed. That dude is super cool.
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  20. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by STER0S page 18 for me.

    i have my thread-per-page thingy set to max

    You have to admit this thread is getting really long though.

    Dar I say.... The LONGEST THREAD ON THE INTERNET?!!!!
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