Still fuckt it up! I haven't slept in a while.
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I was moving to Montana. Poast was living with his dad because his mom couldn't handle him. It was pretty much a walk in policy at his place. I knew poast wasn't home.
I didn't appreciate drinking his ball sweat. His plan was to get WifeIsDead. I was collateral damage. When I asked Poast why he didn't stop me he said, "You didn't tell me about the booger so I didn't tell you." A solid reason I suppose.
So when I knew Poast wasn't going to be home I went over. I set my camera on a timer and took a picture of his pillow in my butt. It was in there. Not 40 butt chugging in there, but it was up my cheeks. I took one of the gayest pictures ever. I think I had some fingers in my mouth as I looked up to the sky smiling. Then I put the picture on his computer in a hidden folder.
Knowing there would probably be repercussions, I moved to Montana and told him where to look after I was thousands of miles away. This would be the second act of the prank war that is apparently on going.
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Originally posted by Poast
Can I get a custom young guns Emilio lolcat?
I guess so. Give me my rappel hook WifeDead gave me.
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I have a story:
One time MyMomIsDead and I were screwing around killing the day as teenagers. Walking through the mall, causing ruckus probably. Found a Rosie O'Donnel book in the dollar store and I was in my, 'Random is funny' phase. So I bought it.
We got bored and decided to hit up the cemetery. As a couple of retards are want to do, we thought trying to punch the book into a memorial statue, brass army guys face was funny. I was going to give it to a buddy of mine. This guy once drove us out of town to his house. Lended Poast a DVD, then drove right by us leaving Poast and I to walk a hella long ways. Poast eventually returned the movie but not before he wrote nigger all over the actual DVD.
So anyways, WifeDead and I are just taking turns punching this Rosie book into a memorial and some lady, probably visiting a dead loved one sees us. She screams something I don't remember but it was so fierce and intense we both ran like little bitches. WifeDead knew the back way out over a fence because Poast used to live behind the cemetery. We both agreed that a girl was about to kick our ass.
The scream was literally voracious. Good times
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Originally posted by MexicanMasterRace
sorry for writing that
That was amazing.
You mexicans are a weird species. I'm enthralled.
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Let's bring this thread back to its roots:
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Holy fuck. I just had the owners new guy watching the property come around and start trimming the 'tree'. The 'tree' that right against against the window. I was on the porch smoking and he asked if he could cut the smaller branches from the bedroom window I never open.
"Yeah! Sure!" He was still trimming hedges and said he'd be up after. Oh fuck. I have a fucking cat that will get me evicted.
"Do you just want me to do it? I'm a bit peculiar about my place." He agrees. And I end up leaning out a second story trying to saw off branches with a small hand saw. It sucked but I've assured this kitties life or one more night.
I guess the lesson I'm learning is put the cat in front of anything, money, drugs, almost being kicked out, You know. I'm giving a lot to that fucking cat and it all it does it take.
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My wireless keyboard is going out. I have to re-read everything. I'm running this into the ground though because I just bought a bunch of money on stuff I don't need.
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I've been cutting off the booze off and on, here and there. Yesterday I figured it would be a good idea to go grab some of those single serve wines and a four pack of beer. I'm walking my bike home, and I just fall over. Completely sober for days. I'm trying to get up and I can't. My legs and feet are moving as I'm trying to stand up. They catch and I try to stand up. I'm trying to use my arm too. Fall the other way in some guys yard. I try it again. Same result but this time I'm back in the street. It must've taken four or five tries of me trying to stand up completely woozy in the head before I slowed down to recoup myself to stop, wait and then stand up. I fell over on my bike twice during this because I was trying to use it as a kinda guided supportable system.
i look up and there's a lady walking her dog crosswise to me on the next block and she's looking right at me. I don't know how much time had passed before I was back on my way home. 15 seconds maximum of me trying to stand up. I must've looked like the biggest drunk in the world to that women. I swear I was sober.
Since I was three days sober I didn't eat anything. Thought'd it'd be fine! And all the food at my house is garbage. Pretty sure I passed out. I'm assuming only a half pass out because I remember everything. My one goal was just to make it home now. I made it home and ate some food, drank some beer and watched some TV.
I don't have a 100% custom LOLcat for that.
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Originally posted by mmQ
I got out of jail, like not the way where you get bailed out, the way where you literally finish your time and they buzz your little cell intercom and say "Wren?" and you say as you wake up from an afternoon snooze, "w..what? Yeah? What?"
And they say "pack up your shit you're getting released." And you get a smile and a bounce to your step and everyone else starts looking at you with a hint of disdain because you're getting out of jail and they arent.
You pack up all your shit willy nilly. Just kinda throw it all into a bag because who cares. Sling it over your shoulder and walk to the EXIT with a guard escorting you. You, the guy who is getting out of jail.
But rewind three minutes to where you're sitting in the cell with all your whatevers packed into the bag and ready to go and they buzz you one more time.
"Wren? You still there? Bad news dude.. they forgot to check you for warrants and it turns out you have a hold up in grand forks so, yeah, you're not going anywhere."
That might be one of the shittiest feelings in the world.
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Forgot the whiskers:
And poasts mom asked for a picture that says I AM AnTIFA.
I snuck a 100% LOL cat in there like a where's Waldo.
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Originally posted by CASPER
lol was that you?
SPACE GHOSTS NIGGAAAAA
No. Never been to Orange County. Like the movie though. An old one where Jack Black is the loser brother of a guy about to graduate college and seeing if he should just keep writing instead.
Originally posted by Headspin
I'm the squeegee killah mofuckas.
Worst birthday ever by the way.
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Originally posted by Headspin
I'm the squeegee killah mofuckas.
Worst birthday ever by the way.
Happy birthday man! I personally don't even care about mine anymore. I hold no expectations so it's never a let down. Just another day.
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FUUUUUUUCK!Q!!!!!
One time we had a baby killing marine visit out party house for a couple days. He banged Poasts cousin and had a child with her before they seperated. But they're amicable so that's good. She's gone on to join a cult.
Anyays, when he was leaving back to deployment he had a pack of cigarettes he couldn't take. So he decided to smoke them all. At once. A full open mouth and two out the nose. Ask Poast for the picture because I'm on thin ice with ho much I don't give a fuck.
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A lot of work but I save page 68. Radical shit posting terrorists tried to over take us but we hunkered down and did our duty. I thank everyone for their service. Both sides.
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Since I'm now thinking about old stories here's a freebie:
The burly drunken guy in our part house liked to pants people. It was hilarious until it happened to you. The last time I ever saw him drink he wasn't wearing pants. I asked him why? He sd, "If you're not wearing pants no one can pants you." Flawless logic but he was the only person pantsing people.
One night, he pantses, (is that the past tense of pants? I don't know), he pantses Poast right in front of Poasts cousin. But he grabbed his underwear too by accident. So she got a full shot of Poasts dick and was mortified.
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Originally posted by Headspin
I think you could say either pantses or pantsed in that context.
Fuck you.
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Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN
we found a fossilized COCKodile
Did I just find another hidden word? COCKodile. c r o c o d i l e.
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Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN
Did I just find another hidden word? COCKodile. c r o c o d i l e.
Change c r o c k to cock? That's actually pretty funny.
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