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2019-11-07 at 12:31 AM UTC in A Nicolas Cage appreciation thread! 100% custom rage in the Cage LOLcats inside!
The Wicker Man
Edward Malus
Biker cop. Obviously wants the best for people. Just like every Cage character so far.
See's a mom and daughter die in a car wreck. Takes time off of work. Is on medication.
Fiance left on bad terms. Her bad terms. A letter comes years later. Her daughter is missing. Not Edwards daughter. Edward is conflicted but we all know every Cage role, he just has to help.
So far no black people.
"I'm a cop. I try to help people."
'Why do we do anything in this world?' Edward: "I need an answer."
Hanging out in a crazy cult. Very paranoid.
The harvest festival is good to go. But the festival of fertility is too sacred.
Be funny if he pulls out his phone to call someone but can't get a signal.
Oh fuck! He's Rowan Woodwards father! He's got to double down on this witch hunt!
A man investigating this cult has a reason to fight.
Is he going crazy? Maybe. But that's what will drive this character.
Immeddiatly after, talking about the missing kid: "It's not right. You should've told me Willow." Replace Willow with Nicolas.
49 minutes in the movie he does a wicked dive. Can't find a link to it. It's pretty awesome though.
Turns out he's going insane though and it was a dream within a dream. So the character is losing it and trying to cope.
In his mind he's a wicked awesome diver to fish a dead kid from under a dock.
Popping pills before the fight. Rationalizing what his reality is during his spiel.
Big bounded book titled, Rituals of the Ancients.
Has to be wearing a suit and tie. He's wearing the same thing entire movie.
Allergic to bees. Be baller finish move by The cage.
If he gets knocked out by bees, Edward wakes up. "Where am I?" And The Cage can give his devious plot to escape his hell.
"I hear you were expecting me. Why is that?"
Needs to constantly be smacking bees off his face during the fight. The Cage has no bees around him.
Edwards only motivation is to find Rowan. He still loves his ex-fiance but Rowan is his main goal. Maybe Edward accuses The Cage of hiding her?
"How'd it get burned! How'd it get burned!"
"Get off the bike." She pushes. "Get off the bike!" She pushes again and Edward draws his gun at the school teacher. "Step away from the bike!"
Edward is fighting a bunch of Cages, from all different roles. And they're wearing masks that he needs to knock off to find The Cage.
It would be so funny if Edward carries The Cage in his arms and says, "My name is Edward. I'm here to save you."
"Back off I swear to god I will shoot you!"
"OH MY LEGS! MY LEGS! Oh.."
From the crowd as Edward burns, 'The drone must die.'
The cult part of the movie I believe is real. They just left out the drug aspect out of it. But I digress because this is about Ewards character. He's just a guy trying to be good to people. Might be going insane and losing touch with reality from his pills. Dealing with PTSD? Maybe. A typical Cage character. Nothing new.
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2019-11-05 at 11:18 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-11-05 at 6:48 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by My Wife Is Dead despite the fact that I was like the ONLY person willing to give him a shot back when he was a little loser juggalo kid back in jr. High.
That's funny. It was 7th grade spanish and you looked like that guy that ended up fucking Grahams wife Loretta. Dombak? You looked like him and Paul and I befriended you. We never hung out until I saw you making out with Poast at the mall and went over to say hi. Whoop whoop!
Originally posted by My Wife Is Dead
Bro, I remember you used to have the biggest crush on Sarah Jessica Parker. Hope you like it!
It's pretty good. It has the simplistic anime style eyes but you always were a weeb. I appreciate it still.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-11-05 at 5:26 AM UTC in A Nicolas Cage appreciation thread! 100% custom rage in the Cage LOLcats inside!
The Rock
Stanley Goodspeed
A Beatle Maniac, (the band), record snob too.
Sarin gas is a G.B aerosol. Could be used for a finished fight? Let's see how the movie plays out.
Atropine
Un-married but has a good woman he loves and live together. She's pregnant and a catholic. He promises to marry her.
"You come very highly reccomended."
Specialty is chemical weapons. Knows a lot of the top of his brain when talking about the gas. So if he knows something, it kinda assumes he know all about it.
'Sir Walter Raleigh, Alcamenes, Solzhenitsyn. And they were all wrongfully imprisoned.' see how the movie goes. Might look that up later if relevant.
During fight and The Cage questions why he's fighting Stanley, "You're on a need to know basis, and you don't need to know."
Is packing a gun given to him from the FBI? Nice move during the fight when he's losing to pull out a gun.
Steals a 1951 Plymouth Cranbrook P23 to do what The Cage does. Bring justice. Could make a Gone in Seconds reference?
Oh shit. I didn't eat anything today and I'm wasted. Made myself a sandwhich. I made a commitment to get these notes done. I'm a man of my word. (one minute later) Yup. I'm done for tonight. Nothing I write down from here on out will be of use.
48 minutes in. Stanley does some awesome facial acting after the rail car going off the rails. Then steals some kids dirt bike. 'Hey man, You just fucked up your ferrari.' Stone cold response, "It's not mine."
'You ever been in a combat situation?' Stanley: "Define combat sir." Some jar head rattles off: "An incursion underwater to retake an impregnable fortress held by an elite team of U.S. Marines in possession of 81 hostages and 15 guided rockets armed with V.X. poison gas." Stanley: "In that case no sir. Excuse me…."
"My stomachs doing hula hoops around my ass. I always expected something like this would happen but nothing prepares you for it. Now I'm responsible for a whole city." This movie is the shit. Classic 90s action.
He was trained for this situation and besides, he has the best SEAL team in the country backing him up.
"There's something else. It's terrible. N-no, it's wonderful… Except it isn't. My girlfriends pregnant and she's just flown in to see me." This movie is quotable as fuck. Probably drop the girl friend part though. A man desperate to save thousands of lives. But is also still a man with life issues.
Goodspeed, Godspeed, godspell.
Connerys character: "Welcome to the rock."
Stanley is a pussy bitch. Doesn't want to be in this situation at all. Not used to anything this hairy.
"You wanna play tough? You wanna play tough with me?" Holding a gun to Connery: "FBI! Freeze sucker! I'll fire!" 'No you won't.' "Throw down!" 'I could. You, no.' 'Let's find out. Besides, the safetys on.'
"I don't use guns and I don't kick down doors. This is what I do." Flashes badge. "Chemical weapons specialist."
Connery: "Do your best? Losers always whine about doing their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen." Stanley: "Carla was the prom queen."
"I'm just a biochemist. Most of the time, I work in a glass jar and lead a very uneventful life. I drive a volvo, a beige one. But what I'm dealing with here, is one of the most deadly substances the Earth has ever known. So what do you say cut me some friggin' slack?"
Stanley finally uses his gun and kills a man while yelling, "Die! Die! Die!'
"Bingo."
General Francis X. Hummel: "The tree of liberty must be refreshed time to time with the blood of patriots. -Thomas Jefferson"
"What is wrong with these people? Don't you think there's a lot of, uh, anger floating around this island? Kind of a pubescent volatility? Don't you think? A lot of angst, lot of 'I'm 16; I'm angry at my father' syndrome? I mean grow up!'
Some jar head: "Me and my boys are cocked blocked and ready to rock, sir."
"Listen. I think we got started on the wrong foot. Stan Goodspeed FBI. Do you like the Elton john Song Rocket Man?" "I only bring it up because, uh, it's you. You're the Rocket Man." Then blasts a black dude with a rocket and says, "How do you like how that shit works?"
Wanted to note him breaking through a boarded door but didn't. But he does it twice.
If it turns into a gay sex Cage on Stanley movie, "I love pressure."
It would be funny if The Cage wins, but Stanley finds the strength to plunge a needle into his heart to come back.
The etymology of the name Goodspeed is god speed. To wish someone a prosperous journey.
Micheal Bay film. The chase scene is retardedly ludicrous as fuck, A humvee barely misses four dudes in wheels chairs. Who thought that was a good idea? Over all a typical cage role. A bit a person who doesn't want to get in the shit but does what needs to be done. Great mid 90s flick. Better than Armeggedon. I don't know why I haven't ever heard of it. It's awesome.
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2019-11-03 at 6:24 PM UTC in A Nicolas Cage appreciation thread! 100% custom rage in the Cage LOLcats inside!A thread to the creation of what is a Cage and the studies of it:
Con Air
Cameron Poe, Army Ranger, because of his military training he is a deadly weapon.
Rangers lead the way. Never leave a fallen man behind.
"How do I live with out you?" Song ominisciouly plays as The Cage gets closer to entering the room.
The Cage can call him Gomer. As disrepect to Poes army ways. Like Gomer Pyle.
Rides planes with black people.
Beautiful daughter named Casey. Maybe I could play the role of Poes daughter?
"As long as I make it home on time it makes no never mind"
"Willie Bedlam" Nathan Jones AKA Dimond Dog" "Cyrus Grissom AKA Cyrus the Virus" "Joe Parker AKA Pinball Parker" "Swamp Thing" "Garland Greene AKA the Marietta Mangler" All Riding the plane. Could be usable. Maybe a PTSD Poe and starts calling The Cage a bunch of names in trying to get home. If you go that route he needs to have a stuffed bunny.
Cyrus says, "Welcome to Con Air." Good pre fight line.
'Fuck you trailer trash!' "Hey, my mama lives in a trailer" Good line but probably not usable.
"Nothing makes me sadder than the Cage who lost his bladder in the.. aaaairplane." Could change airplane to something else. Would be pretty funny.
"I'se can play house nigga but when we land, day of the dog begins." The best quotes from the movie aren't from Poe. He's a very one dimensional charachter.
Greene talking about Willies condition. "A font of misplaced rage. He's so angry moments of levity actually cause him pain. Gives him head aches. Happiness, for that gentleman hurts" Wicked quote but probably unusable.
A cop calls Larkin, Poe wrote on Pinballs shirt about where they're landing. Lerner air field. But Poe wrote 'Marshall Vince Larkin' on Pinball to get it to the right person. Larkin asks, "what's this got to with me about a body falling out of the sky?" Cop replys, "It's got your name writen all over it." That's definitly usable
I knew you was a punk all along. "I said, put the bunny back in the box." Maybe the cage walks int the room and there's a box. He opens it and pulls out a bunny? Ending movie scene where he's drinking mai tais and stuff, as the camera pans up he says, "Why couldn't you just put the bunny back in the box?"
Fight scene in the holding part of a plane. Fighting crouched over. I'm not going to copy all of this and doubt it's useful but peruse this: http://www.oldwings.nl/content/con_air/con_air.htm
"I got nothing in common with you! With them! Don't you talk to me! They were insane!" When Greene mentions two went down and one came up. Greene says most murders are crimes of necessity rather than desire. Than Greene brings up Dahmer, Bundy and Gacy. Could be used as a talking point about all his roles The Cage had to fight. Greene, 'Now we're talking semantics.' Depending how many people the cage kills in trying to get back to being the cage, "Murdering 30 people, semantics or not, is insane."
He's a 'ranger boy'
"There's only two men I trust. One of them's me. The other isn't you." Poe telling that to The Cage would be hilarious.
Larkin: 'What are you going to do for me?' G Rider loced out Cameron Poe: "What do you think I'm going to do? Save the fucking day."
When they're pulling the plane they flew in that got stock in Larken Field, there's a split second you can see Diamond Dog whipping the white dudes using thick ass ropes to try to pull it out. Unrelated to your movie script but I laughed.
Cyrus is about to kill some dude who traitored him. The guy is pleading knowing he has the lowest hand and says, "Cy……" hoping for redemption. Cyrus, the baller he is, throws a cigarette at the fumes and says, "narya." As in Syanarya. Now usable but a great line.
You already have the yahtzee and mai tai line. But he follows it up with 'Lets do this'
Cyrus holding a gun to the stuffed bunnys head. "Make a move and the bunny get's it."
"I'm gonna show you god does exist"
Gets shot in the arm. Doesn't give a fuck. Doesn't break his stride in power walking to punch someone out.
Almost punches the cross dresser, thinks better of it and just slaps it. Man this movie is great.
"Buckle up." I don't know. The last third part of the movie sucks.
Epic fight goes down to 'How do I live without you' By Leanne Ryhmes.
Cameron Poe is a very one dimensional character. Loves his family and would do anything to protect them. Much like his close friends he trusts. He would risk Con Air to make sure his buddy got his insulin. Nothing goes deeper than that. He's a shell of a character. It's a hollywood character that could fit any role that needed the good guy portrayed as a bad guy. The audience knows he's a good guy but every character but one sees him as a plague to society. No depth to Poe but still a great movie.
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2019-10-29 at 4:04 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-11-01 at 11:50 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-11-01 at 12:28 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by TOTALLYNOTOMGPLZDNTBAN They're not that bad. Just give me a shot.
You got chops kid. I'll give you that but it's lacking. And the shameless self promotion isn't good for business. People want to live vicariously through a 100% custom LOLcat. Your whiskers could use work but you're just an up and comer. Keep at it. I believe in you.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-10-31 at 8:07 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by Vitamin G I think I still need more thanks before I'm able to write a story.
I've got an older one. WRiting is sloppy and no body liked it but it's true:
To start off. I don't believe in the paranormal. Some people do and I kinda brush off what they believe. But I have no explanation for this night. Let's go
My Dad and I were going from Montana to Washington hitting up some fossil sites along the way. Mostly crab concretions. My dad is big into crabs. I like to joke about how my dad has crabs. He preps them very nicely and they're millions of year old and blah blah blah.
So first night we find an off road and find a pull out to camp in. My father has had a stroke so it may have been out of convienience that we were so close to a road. We were still miles away from two towns but the road between them was right there. Not even half a mile away. We're setting up camp and some kid pulls by us and asks us if we know if there's a place to shoot. My dad takes over and tells him we're not from here either and can't help him.
We made some delicious burgers. Had some drinks. My dad gets wasted and goes to bed. I'm sitting around the fire texting my good buddy Poast. When I continually hear foot steps around our camp. Three different spots. On down by the off road, one above us on the hill and the other away from us against the road. I brush it off. Could be anything right? I'm not buying into anything to much. Just drinking beer and hanging around a fire.
But the foot steps don't stop. Some times it seems like they re group on the off road below us. I'm getting a bit sketchy. "Well, that one kid saw us earlier. Maybe it's some bored locals messing with people." Rational thinking right? One time I hear the footsteps go back to the sub road below us and only two return. The one above us never came back.
This whole time for some reason twigs are breaking off branches. I don't find that weird. The next night I'm sleeping outside and hearing tree twigs break off and I don't have a problem with it. We're in another state and a different place. I've camped enough to know that sound. But there's this rustling stepping sound around the camp. But it doesn't sound like a human walking around. So I'm getting more sketched out. I hear foot steps coming down the road. Coming from the direction no one should be walking from. Not in the middle of the night. It's steps coming from the direction on the road that only goes deeper into the woods. Then I hear a four note humming. Going over and over. I think, 'There's no way a person that isn't vocally trained can keep that up for more than 30 seconds.' After about a minute they start whistling it. So I continue to assume it's just locals. I never heard them walk away though.
I figured my dad was asleep but know where he has a revolver. My dad got tanked and passed out so I go to grab the gun. If people are watching me they'll know I'm not fucking around. My dad woke up, tried to kick me in the face and I told him him I'm kinda freaking out. He blamed it on raccoons. I heard glass clinking. Like from The Warriors and I had enough. i was stoking the fire and that's when it got really weird. I wanted to do a pop shot in the air but knew my dad would be pissed. Apparently I'm more afraid of my dad than slenderman.
Towards the witching hour, right before any sun is even making a break over the horizon. I heard a bunch of crazy laughter from the top of the hill above us. But it wasn't normal. I can't explain it and as soon as I was trying to listen really close, it abrubtly stopped. Insantaneiously. Later, maybe an hour I heard dogs barking below us. But it was weird. The closer I listened the more out of this world the sound became. It started as dogs barking but the closer I listened the more demonic it became. Hard to explain. Then it suddenly cut off. All at once.
The fire died down. And I said fuck it. I'm going to bed. I drunkenly accepted my fate and put the pistol between my cushions. And I went to bed listening to something walking around our camp. This was about 4 in the morning when I gave up. Either I'm insane or I dealt with the slender man. I only stayed up so late because we had a whole day of driving ahead of us. But I wasn't driving. Figured I could stay up to protect the camp and sleep when we got out of there.
If I wasn't hitching a ride with my dad I would've left. And I don't believe in paranormal shit.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-10-31 at 12:34 AM UTC in kikes on suicide watch. Twitter bans political adverts.
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2019-10-31 at 3:26 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by My Wife Is Dead Way sexier than OMG and notOMG's shitty MS paint abominations. Post more provacative catgirls, bro. Fuck OMG an his shitty notsexy cats. He literally just drew a catface on Bernie Sanders for mine–objectively the least sexy man alive. Dude looks like father time and probably wears adult daipers.
Really fucking embarrassing, OMG. Get your shit together.
I didn't realize you would be so unhappy with a 100% custom FREE LOLcat. I assure you it won't happen again
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2019-10-31 at 2:42 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-10-30 at 11:09 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-10-28 at 8:14 PM UTC in Trump's reaction as he was boo'd at a World Series game.I think this would be better discussed in THE LONGEST THREAD ON THE INTERNET! Every one is super chill and respectful over there so bringing up a controversial topic would be better received.
PLus since that thread is going nowhere for a while it will serve as a sort of time capsule we can look back on.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-10-30 at 1:41 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
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2019-10-28 at 8:21 PM UTC in Trump's reaction as he was boo'd at a World Series game.Again, if we could take this discussion to a middle ground like I suggested I think we can all learn from each other and come together.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-10-26 at 11:12 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by Greenspam Eat my budhole
https://imgur.com/0nhFAIV
It's shitty just like your attitude! Man this is a great thread! Good job OP! -
2019-10-26 at 10:55 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by Vitamin G I WANT ONE how do i get one
Oh snap! A goose high on vitamen G(angster)!
This thread is tits!
https://imgur.com/ABCXV2T -
2019-10-28 at 12:46 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
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2019-10-27 at 11:52 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
