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Thanked Posts by OMGPLZUNBAN
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2020-01-21 at 3:09 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!One time I was at applebees. I started getting texts from a girl who was a close party friend. She had broken up with her man and wanted to see me after work. I was conflicted. This girl was pretty but had fukt pretty much every one I knew. So I'm texting her back while at work and wondering if I'm going to do the bad deed. I desperately wanted a girl and to not be alone so I was kind of deciding to do it. But still majorly conflicted about it. I knew it wasn't a smart move but I was alone and hoping something might come out of it.
What I didn't know is WifeDead borrowed my phone a couple nights before and changed his number ID in my phone to this girl. He was texting me the whole time while we were working right next to each other. One of the servors came up and asked me what's up because I looked down and out. I kind of explained and he was just laughing his ass off. I assume WifeDead let him in on the secret.
So shift ends, I'm giving WifeDead a ride home and when he steps out he texted me, 'It was me the whole time.' I drove away laughing but then the loneliness set in. I was wondering if I could be in a relationship with this ghetto party whore and finally not be alone for hours. It was a great prank but I soon got butthurt. I went to a party and asked a close buddy for some ecstasy. I got high and drunk and forgot about being alone.
Because I did copious amounts of drugs the night before my seratonin was shot the next day. Take 5HTP kids. So I was being a bitch and let WifeDead know I was pissed. He randomly gave me a belt later that I still have because I think he felt bad. He shouldn't have felt bad because that was a great prank.
Back when he used to talk to me I brought this story up and he had forgot about it. I said he should've texted me, 'Just walk in the door. I'll be fine.' So I walk into this girls house while she's in bed with her man and it would've been the greatest prank ever. I'm glad he didn't but looking back that would've been blowing off Poasts hand level savagery.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-20 at 8:22 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-01-18 at 10:12 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!So one time.....
WifeDead and I were working a applebees. Some nigger worked there and made manager in no time flat. I mean nigger not because he was black. But because he was a piece of shit. He ordered wings and requested drum sticks only. So WifeDead made him a serving of all wings with one drum stick. He was pissed. We were good buddies so this retard called us both into the office, during a rush to say how it was unprofessional or something. WifeDead showed up to work drunk and pulled out a baller move and just said, "Ain't no thang but a chicken wang." A solid argument looking back.
The niggers name was Sir. He was really a terrible person. When he was losing a fantasy football league with co workers he tried to ruin it for everyone else some how. WifeDead didn't watch sports but competed in it and did pretty well. One time WifeDead put a bun in the fryers overnight to see what would happen the next day. Again we're both called into the office during a rush even though I had nothing to do with it. Two of the managers hated us but I was in good with head manager and the district managers mom so they couldn't really do anything.
One time I was hanging out with the head manager killing chickens before work. I ended up so drunk I was stumbling to work. So I swung by Tony the hammers place. His first words, "I'm not covering your shift." I assured him, "No. I just need a ride please. I'm too drunk to walk." He drove me and I made it 15 minutes before getting kicked out of work. I stumbled back to Tonys to drink beer. He said he got a call from work and just ignored it. We laughed and he made me eggs while we watched baseball. I wasn't fired because the head boss was the one who got me drunk.
Back to Sir. He got fired for being a drunk and abusing his power as manager. But I had his number. He didn't have mine. So one night WifeDead and I decided I should text him, "Is this still Sirs number?" He replied, "Yeah. Who dis?" With no plan I believe I said, "Guess." This retard replies, "Is this Tina?" Turns out I'm now Tina. Kept him on the hook for a day or two while he's telling me he'll get a hotel room and alcohol and we should meet up. Greasy. I eventually sent him a picture of my back tattoo to let him know it was me the whole time. He never responded after that.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-17 at 5:31 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-01-10 at 11:59 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-01-08 at 10:05 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!I got a story about Poast:
One night, we were getting crazy as usual at our party house. The indian neighbor lady came over drunk. This lady used to baby sit Poast when he was way younger. Poast is wasted and literally slapping her tittys around through her shirt on the porch. I can see Poast is going to bang this way older indian broad so we go to the smoke room and I'm telling him not to do it. She's old and gross and you have so much to live for.
Poast is thanking me saying, "Yeah man. You're right. I don't know what I was thinking." So Poast goes over to her house and bangs some drunken dirty whore that used to baby sit him with her kids. As he gets up to leave, he can't remember which way is out of the house. So he mistakenly walks into her kids room. They probably heard all the dirty, drunken piss smashing that went down. He backs out of the room, steals some orange juice from the fridge and comes home.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-12 at 7:47 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!Proof:
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2020-01-11 at 4:31 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-01-12 at 2:39 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-01 at 6:38 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-12-31 at 10:32 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-12-26 at 4:27 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!Oh man. The Mrs went to bed talking shit about how she's a light sleeper and if she hears the sealer going off I'll be in trouble. So I waited 20 minutes and vacuum sealed her bedside water bottle. Then I strategically sealed a bunch of random shit and put them behind a bunch of other stuff. Like a soup can, box of noodles, a single pen. Just really retarded stuff. She's not going to find them all for months to come.
It's kinda the prank that just keeps giving. I can already hear it. A exasperated sigh with a, "Really babe?!"
And we couldn't find the kiddos pants she wanted to wear today. I was immediately asked, "Did you vacuum seal the kiddos pant?!" Of course I didn't but I thought about it.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-12-26 at 12:41 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by Technologist I love my vacuum sealer. I used it frequently. It really comes in handy when I open something that is bagged and don’t use it all. I just use the seal function for that.
It’ll definitely save your meats from getting freezer burn. Good deal!
I'm already in trouble with the Mrs for vacuum sealing everything. In this picture there's cheese, pork rinds, saltines, tortilla chips, some lion king three stuffed animal and a shoe. My Mrs was getting mad for using so much of the bags and I threatened to vacuum seal that bitch.
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2019-12-26 at 5:33 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-12-26 at 2:16 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!I vacuum sealed vacuum bags.
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2019-12-24 at 8:46 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-12-24 at 4:28 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-12-23 at 7:41 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-12-23 at 6:04 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
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2019-12-23 at 5:34 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
