2016-09-26 at 9:31 AM UTC
in
Andriod rooting
Why the fuck are you making a shitload of one liner question threads that all are similar in nature? Dude, make one fucking thread asking these questions and you're likely to get better answers. You're asking stupid questions here anyway that are best used to Google the info you seek. Its not fucking hard. You made 2 goddamn threads about hacking porn sites, one directly asking and another asking about instagram and some other bullshit along with porn sites. Now this along with your s7note thread. Wtf? This forum isn't Google. You'll get better results there anyhow. What, are you 13? Learn something then refer back here for more complex questions and discussion on such. I mean you literally are asking stupid shit that can generate you an answer on the first hit if you'd just search it.
I have a decision to make but if I go through with it it will destroy the tiny percentage of a chance there is my life could getbbetter and I'll be happy. I don't really believe it'll happen anyway which makes it a consideration to go through with it, but in doing so, there goes my fantasy of betterment. God why does all this shit have to be so painful. I can't even maintain a far fetched fantasy with the way life is pulling me. I'm going to burn either way.
I have no family. No real family at any rate. Not to say too much, but my 'family' is responsible for the icing on this shit cake I call life. I am trapped because of heir selfish actions. There is a lot in my life that is fucked and not their fault too, but they just made this situation unbearable. Anyone I've loved and considered family does not reciprocate. The veteran I live with, he's a good guy, he means well, but he can't help me, not how I need. Its ashame we haven't nor probably wont get the opportunity to drop acid together. Humans are flawed because we dont have an off switch. I expected shitposting, tbh. Ya'll surprise me sometimes. I still don't know what to do. My insides feel like a paint shaker. I try to distract but it doesn't work. I've tried to write but I can't for my shaky hands (I prefer to out pen to paper than type and plus it was a letter to my friend who went MIA- I was gathering info about truck driving schools and shit since he mentioned he'd wanted to do that but didn't know where to start to get his CDL- I try to be helpful when I can. I can't do much else right.) I foresee shit hitting the fan very soon. I am destined to fuck up. I am destined to fail. You think when you're young that nope, never gonna happen to me, but when you're the fucked up, unlucky person like me, you just look back and can't believe how it happened. Its been said and said over and over and of feels like a broken record but life is a cruel world and I want off this merry-go-round- I feel like a broken record. Everyone I've ever cared about says that I am, nothing I try to impart to them is different from the last. Ive always felt that somewhere.. But not all. I don't know if I am delusional or them.. Likely both. I'm considering setting myself on fire just to distract from this shit. I had to go run an errand I should have done hours and hours ago and 3 times had to snap myself out of attempting to cause a fatal accident. What did it was reminding myself with my luck I'd live, it isn't my car so that'd suck for the owner, and that I do have some responsibilities left on this earth before I go wrapping myself around any telephone poles or trees. That is my mental state at nearly all hours of the day. Reasoning with myself.
I feel like throwing up everytime my phone rings. I get overwhelmed with fear when I see or hear a text message on my phone at first. I can't even call the people l need to call.
I had two friends my age here with similar shit. One has gone MIA since I dropped him off at home a few states away. The other has been working a new job and doesn't have the time to hang out anymore. I find it really hard to function alone but all my actions tend to keep me isolated..
For the better part of my life I've been suicidal. Not reallywanting to die just not to feel how I do inside, not to have this pain, not for life to be as it is. Change is hopeless. If §m£ÂgØL taught me one thing, I guess that would be it. Toxic cannot escape toxic. Trying is futile. I've tried a lot. It always returns me to the same hopeless hell.
I want to scream HELP at the top of my lungs, but I know nobody cares, nobody can help even if they did, and even if there was one soul on this earth who could help me- I don't deserve their help, I never will be worthy of any love or affection. I am worthless and have nothing of value to return to those I love. I used to believe if someone just helped me like I need that things could get better. I've had some help in life, but its always been a double edged sword. Always one thing has been missing. I'm just fucked in the head.
I don't know wtf I'm trying to convey here. Chew me up and spit me out. Add more fuel to the fire that already burns in my head. None of it really matters. I made my bed. I'm lying in it and can't find good enough reason to get out. I don't want to die but I'm going to and the only happiness that gives me is that one day soon the pain will stop, just not the way I'd prefer it to be. I want to live just not like this, not as I've let myself become.
I'm really scared. Terribly and uncontrollably frightened of it all. If I think about it too long or hard I cry and can't stop. I've had only one person who's ever made a difference to this shit, but they couldn't see it and its gone now so it doesnt matter either. I'm a lost, lonely and frightened person.
Defeated. Isolated. Pain. More bullshit keeps cropping with my health. I'm doing awful and shit is going as I foresaw it. I'm going down just like my dad did before he died. The sudden fainting is really scary as its happening a few times a day now.
We didn't have a funeral for my dad when he died. He wouldnt have wanted one anyway. He always said that when he died he wanted people to be happy for him, not sad. He said that if we ever did anything that it better not be standing around his corpse crying, rather having the biggest best time we could have smiling and enjoying life because that's what he would have wanted for the people he loved. I can't say I ever got to do the latter as its one of those things that got pit off for many different reasons... But.. I don't care for the typical funeral. Wakes are more my speed anyway. If society is going to force me to publicly grieve, then it should be done with large quantities of alcohol.
Lanny, if you hate human suffering just as you've wrote how you're a vegetarian because you sympathize with them... Then fix it so I can view messages and so I can actually make a THREAD YOU COCKSUCKER!!! why is it that schizophrenics almost always out right deny they have schizophrenia even though they can admit that they fucking suffer many symptoms? This is always the case I'm my experience with dealing with them, they are in denial. Sometimes, they will see that they have achizophrenia and grudgingly admit that something is wrong with them... Hell, its not always grudgingly, they'll almost embrace their fucking up brain patterns and expect everyone else to aswell. With this one, a friend I've known since I've been 11, she's damn near retarded. Not saying it to be mean but there is something really off with her and she knows it. I think in someway that she has allowed herself to be so deficient because she's learned to play the victim. In some ways she's very smart, and knowledgeable about thinks such as religion, supernatural and occult, but other things, real world things.. She's barely able to function. She's the last person I know in my age bracket that has been introduced to the internet and computers and still now struggles to understands the basic concepts. She's blown away at eBay, yet poorly understands it. It feels like she just doesn't try, she expects other to deal with it for her. She thinks things are far more complicated than it really is. She doesn't understand what WiFi is or has general understanding of how it works. Explaining anything to her is like explaining it to a child, a child that is unfocused and doesn't care to learn, but as soon as she needs something she expects you to fix it for her or pity her... Frankly I think she prefers the pity rather than the attempt to help or explain for her. Shell pout and blame others and bitch but as soon as you question the internet problem she answers shit all like... "Duh, idk.. Um I don't know what that is". She lacks such little understanding of some shit that she just.. You wonder how she manages to do jackshit. This shows really how the most ignorant person can communicate and function through the efforts of microsoft windows because there is no way they could function handling anything more difficult and that is almost too difficult to handle. As for that she is very well versed in obscure occult shit. She can recite prayers and poetry at the drop of a hat. She's a good writer, albeit not my style choice, but she can write fairly well that a lot of people would likely enjoy. She does write very good poetry, and can play the guitar halfway. Another dumb thing about her that I hate is that she is obsessed by clothing. She will describe her outfits for 15minutes on the phone while trying to tell a story because somehow that's important *rolls eyes* she's been wearing the same Gothic shit since she's been a teenager (shes 31) and she has a million outfits. Her entire bedroom floor is covered in her wardrobe. she spends an insane amount on clothes yet fucking acts like an 80$ coat is an essential thing to life, that is more important than electric or gas. She alao smokes an ingodly amount of weed. Like fuck she as a half ounce and is worried that it wont last her for 4 days and she smokes medical grade at 20$ a gram. She expects the rent she pays to her grandmother to go for her grandmotjer to buy weed for hee and her SSI money to go for nothing else but her weed, clothes and 'Things she wants'... She cant fathom actually having to pay rent or utilities. She thinks skmehow that she will find someone else to use piad rent just like her grandmother does. She's never had to work or graduated high school. When I've mentioned that she should use her artistic talents to make a living she looks weird at me and says "how?" But when it involves me saying that "okay just try and focus a few days a week to working on shit, when you've got a few finished pieces then try etsy, eBay... Fuck even go to some restaurants or yuppie stores and try to sell or have them sell it for COMMISION" OMFG. She went on a rant at how commision sales are bullshit since shed be doing all the work and cant comprehend at how they offer a venue in which she normally wouldnt have access to with many many prospective custumers... She doesnt understand why anyone thinks its crazy that she is being stalked by a few of her exlovers. Or that she somehow is being psychically raped or shot at with an airsoft... Or my favorite.. The vibrating motors that she feels coming from umder her and every house she visits.. Even the court house. They somehow sneak in and implant them in the basements of these locations to annoy her.. Or send her a message that she doesnt understand wtf it is. She's very paranoid. Its scary sometimes because she believes this shit so feverantly she will tell a police officer when the cops get called on her (for any number of things like screaming in her room when shit doesrn't go her way or at her grandmother) expecting them to believe her even though its been proven that dude.. No. I've even tried to tell her to keep her from going to the lunnybin but she can't help but shout her crazy to the mountain tops... Oh and I hate how she talks to all her stuffed animals she carries around in a retarded creepy little girl voice and has full length convos with them, speaking for them too.. Dude.. Its taxing to deal with crazy who absolutely gives no fucks and let's all the crazy hang out.
I know what you mean by 'unknowns'. Also, perspective is very important here. Let's say, on my end I am 100% honest and truthful and my 'friend' here has completely fabricated who they are to me. I guess, until the point, if I ever find out, at least I perceive the friendship as real and legit. I'm sure not one human I know knows 100% of my past. There are things I forgot (like dude, I totally had amnesia on the fact that for about a year of my childhood I played the fucking bagpipes- seriously. Who knows this? Nobody currently living up until recently when I recalled this shit from go through an old HD with a friend of mine. My grandfather died around then and I was real fucked up over it is the only reason I can even think of for why I forgot such a odd detail of my childhood. I didn't hold out on telling anyone this. Its rather irrelevant other than to poke fun at. I'm not even saying that keeping details from friends or family is wrong and makes that relationship fake, but say, you as teenager did a shitload of B&Es, jacked people's purses, shoplifted, etc. and had a few embarrassing, regretful and shameful acts involved besides the broad streak of your criminal activities. Now, with your friend you completely refrain telling them ANYTHING regarding your past as far as your criminality goes... I don't know, but if I had that sort of life (I'm not talking one isolated incident here either, we are assuming this is who you were for a time), I wouldn't consider my friendship to be real if disclosing that I did bad things in a part of my life would cause the relationship to end or change significantly- not saying every dirty thing you've ever done would need to be expressed. Now... That unknown area is a grey one too, but I think its even worse when you are actively engaging in things you withhold from a friend because it would ruin the relationship. Like, let's say you're still that guy who commits B&Es. Its understandable that you'd probably not have many friends if they knew (or weren't involved in things of that nature), so do you consider a situation like that a real friendship? Or lying.. How about telling this person lies to hide facts about yourself or situation? Is it a real relationship based on genuine love and care if a guy is lying to his girlfriend to go fuck a guy? How could that ever be considered real. Or lying about anything really. I think lies hurt people more than anything.. Even little well meaning lies. I'd rather be hurt by a truth than deceived by a lie. The point is I feel that if a person knows me and who I really am... If they don't accept me how I am, than really are they my friend and is it a legitimate relationship? Like parents who turn to hating their kid for being gay and reject them.. How is that a real relationship with those same parents just being kept in the closet and lied to? They are loving their child for being the child they want in appearance, not the child they have in reality. That's more where I am coming from with that. Would I continue a relationship with a person who would treat me differently in a negative way if they knew I had sex with a woman once in my life? No.. If that information, regardless of the rest of who I am would change things, then what's the point of having this friendship unless I'm wanting to continue it for other reasons, but I wouldn't feel its sincere or genuine. I just think a lot of us do a good job in deluding ourselves into believing there is more to something than there is. We will lie to this friend so they don't reject us or even so we dont hurt them.. Maybe we want to have a real relationship with them but just don't allow ourselves to for fear. Fear controls us so much this way. Idk about time.. I don't think time is really important, but I do think the longer a person goes hiding things about them the more into the fake it ventures.. Much more so if it involves outright lying. I'm extremely sleep deprived. Meh.. I just think we build in a lot of illusions with people. We have a way of pretending we are closer than we really are.
Okay, I've got to thinking about shit after a conversation I had with a couple people.
I've always felt like this in regards to friendships/relationships that if there is a reason you cannot be honest and open with those people, beyond some exceptional circumstances (you work for the CIA, involved in some criminal activities that could hurt not just you but them, etc.), that relationship is a false one used only to give you and them the illusion of something meaningful. This is especially true IMO if lying is involved.
People tend to withhold things for trust issues or simply because the other party would not accept them for that thing if they were aware of it. I think an example of this would be mental illness or drug use. IRL I've usually kept a pretty low number of friends for those reasons. I don't want to play pretend with people. If I like someone and have come to know them well enough and can trust them, I'm honest about my shit. It feels like a stupid game to be playing where X can't know this about me and Y can't know this about me. Now, sure, I see why people have relationships like this with people... They need them for some reason and it can be as base as needing companionship or as complex as using the relationship for profit/employment/information. I won't say I've never had a relationship like this for one reason or another but I struggle to maintain relationships like this. It makes me feel very off inside and I quickly retreat.
For sincere relationships, if people can't take me how I am than what's the point? I don't like hiding stuff from people I love and care about. I feel like a fraud trying to do that and also have something meaningful. The part the gets me the most is some people are convinced that this relationship they have with X is real and meaningful when if X knew certain things they'd judge and treat them differently or all out reject them. How the fuck is that not a false relationship? How can that be considered real?
This even goes with parents. Most of us have relationships with our parents to some degree, but when we are afraid to reveal something about ourselves to them at least on some level that is really important about ourselves (think mental illness as an easy and relateable example) how is this real? I understand playing charades with people who'd not understand certain things about you but why delude yourself into thinking its real or meaningful? Its not IMO.
I also believe the vast majority of relationships are fake in this world. Very few are genuine.
Discuss.
The last part made me laugh. That would make a good quote.
Malice, you're not all that strange. I fantasize about raping people too. Maybe you are, aand here, you just found someone who shares similar dark fantasies.. But really, I believe more people entertain deviant acts in their head than most would ever admit. I have to say though that my darker thoughts are usually reserved for people I truly despise and have reason to wish harm upon.
I love Lanny. He doesn't deserve to sit there with a stinging ass wondering if he's been sodomized for the rest of his life. Of course he can be a douchy yuppie at times but the worst he deserves is a few dicks drawn on his face with sharpie on A morning he wakes late for work hopefully not seeing the phallic runes scribbled on his forehead before arriving at the office. Maybe even throw in a swastika for good measure.
That would be more fulfilling to see happen to him than making him wonder if he was raped anally or not. Also, why not just... Rape them. I mean you're gonna make them think they were and deal with the psychological damage of that anyway, why not go all the way?
Slight of hand and twist of fate... Yep. That's what it is.
2016-09-04 at 3:15 AM UTC
in
Hey niggers it's bumble
Dude, you know these fucks are hard niggers to deal with here. Some assfuck made a goddamn comic of §m£ÂgØL and my situation for fucks sake... Ill give credit where credit was due, despite some fictional bits, it was pretty funny. Just learn to roll with the punches. Would this be the community you remember if you didn't get hassled or tits or gtfo? I think not.
Lol you're such a tard, Bill Krozby. All you do is pretend you know what's going on with everyone and everything and you're so far off its sad.
2016-09-02 at 11:56 AM UTC
in
Homeland Security
^agreed. I didn't mean as in a legality issue for all or some of us not involved other than as commentary, but rather that its often the case when someone is in trouble or about to get in trouble, they start pulling in other close around them hoping for some sort of protection, security, or a way to pass the buck and throw off their pursuer. I don't know but the only one I'd worry about really would be Lanny since he hosts the site though I doubt he would get in any real trouble just put on a watch list if not already and/or given a headache with supeanas and harassment from a government agency.
2016-09-02 at 11:43 AM UTC
in
I hate women. Hate.
What was her reaction? You didn't really specify. Yeah, shit happens thats true but just randomly bailing on someone after making plans without atleast a half ass excuse is usually considered rude.
You know very little about me and choose to pass judgement that I'm a fat disgusting bitch.. Hmm. Well, if that makes you feel better about yourself, more power to you. Wonder what sort of trollish motherfucker you look like for me to get more attention from the opposite sex than you. Frankly, I wish I didn't get the attention I do get. I've always had poor self esteem issues regarding my body and honestly, I don't like a lot of things about myself, but I've never had trouble finding good looking men who think otherwise, so it really doesn't matter, now does it even if I am all you say? More importantly, unlike you, I am a genuinely good person who'd rather not tear people down or hurt their feelings for my own pleasure. What you have is a sickness, a jealousy of someone like me being able to find people that dolike me for who I am, outside and in. That ultimately that is why you're lonely and friendless- you've no regard for the things that go on inside others, and don't look past the surface, so when you dofind someone, you likely find the same sort of rot as you and get rejected for not meeting their physical standard of perfection. You miss a lot in life if you just read the cover of books rather than opening the pages. I pity people as shallow as you, you miss a great deal out of life.
Dude.. Just go to the nearest corner wall and pull out the staples holding it down and roll the carpet up from there to the location. When you're done, and simply discovered that the area is just rotted the plywood in the area likely due to a roof leak/slow leaking water pipe, roll it back. Restaple/glue it back down. Tafuckingda! If you find treasure, I get a cut for being the genius who helped you figure out how to roll up a carpet.
2016-09-02 at 10:27 AM UTC
in
I miss intosanc
^Trying to implicate that faggot with the bullshit you got yourself into? Lol
2016-09-02 at 10:22 AM UTC
in
Almost out of whiskey
Im not well versed in whiskey but the guy I stay with seems to enjoy buffalo trace. Not sure what the price is on that shit. I stick to drinking rum and vodka And faggoty winecoolers. I also have come to enjoy Strongbow hard cider as I work on getting trashed at night with my rum and cokes.
