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Posts by hydromorphone

  1. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Uh... dude.. yeah you can. Like everyone else is saying, LINK it as a DEBIT card.
  2. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Yeah, I can go pretty crazy on the tabs too. Right this moment, I have 31 tabs open, and my computer just crashed an hour ago (battery died, forgot to plug it in) and said fuck trying to restart my last session. It's always the shit I really really want to read or re-watch that I forget to save, and spend hours looking for... I just get off forgetting shit can go wrong. Being sick the other day I had this one page open and didn't save it, lost it, now I'm sad I can't find it again :( but I got all this other useless shit here... Gah, such is life.
  3. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Originally posted by reject Have you ever jacked/blown off a horse for your own pleasure?

    No, I have not. I have no sexual interest in the equine. Though I did own a clydesdale, so yeah, I woulda had a pretty big cock, if I was into that sorta shit.

    Now, I have, in order to save a horse's life on more than one occasion, have been shoulder deep in a horse's ass before. Colic is a no joke thing. It can kill, it's painful, and you don't just do nothing when it happens and expect to to end well. I've had to do enemas with the hose (I knew one guy who was an idiot who killed his horse this way, but really, you gotta be a retard to do that- talk sticking it up their ass running, and going to have dinner while they're stuck on cross ties.), as well as lube up my arm with vegetable oil and dig out what I can only describe as concrete. We are talking shit that is so fucking dry, that if it'd been pot the horse ate, you could smoke it right then and there (thinking about cheech and chong joke, smoking Labrador), and just omg... not fucking good. It's a fucked up thing to have to do, but we are talking life or death for the horse here, so of course I'm not going to let an animal die just because it's a shitty situation.

    Another unpleasant part of horse care/ownership is having to clean their penis/vagina. I had a stallion, and because of that, and him masturbating regularly, I didn't have to do it as much as with a gelding (castrated horse), but basically, you have to run your fingers around the inside of the head of their penis and sheath looking for 'beans' that form from smegma build up. I have cleaned many horse's penises before, and especially on geldings it can become a very serious life threatening problem. I have witnessed first hand twice on two separate occasions of geldings who had not been cleaned regularly (their owners didn't know it was supposed to be done, one was new at horses, the other just an idiot), and I caught it by seeing them in pain, kicking at their abdomen, swollen groin/sheath, and they both could barely piss. As you can see having a blockage like this could cause a very serious problem. In the wild, and with horses that are physically bred regularly (as opposed to artificial collection), the action of sex clears up this sort of problem, and with geldings, they don't get fully erect ever, so it's even worse with them, but some will try to tell you they don't produce as much smegma, which is bullshit- I've seen it, I've dealt with it, it's a real thing that could kill if not treated promptly. On the horse's with the 'beans', I pulled out several large, rock hard, round clumps that had built up over years, since it's likely they'd never been cleaned before (one gelding was 6 the other was 8- both fairly young). Now, some horses will let you do this with ease, and others will try to kick you, or just make it very hard to do so. You have to either catch the horse 'relaxed' or, sometimes, 'stimulate' them to let down their penis, so you can clean it. Of course, I prefer the latter, but I've been forced to have to 'stimulate' a horse before in order to clean them properly.

    On the other hand, there is the job of cleaning the vulva, labia, and tits. Thankfully, unless you're dealing with some other problem, there is no need, and it can actually be harmful, to be sticking your hands inside the vagina (not a horse, but a cow and a got I've had to pull their calf/kid when they were stuck before). The labia can have beans form here too. I haven't dealt with a whole lot of mares, but have cleaned a horse cunt a few times in my life. You also need to clean between her tits too, and that's pretty nasty at times.

    Now, for the funny part you might get a real kick out of, and no, this was not for my pleasure, nor do I think either of them actually enjoyed it, or did it for their "own pleasure", but my exhusband, and our friend we went to college with, they both tried to jack off our bull we had so we could attempt to artificially inseminate the cow we had. The bull in question here was very tiny, and the cow, she was super tall. He couldn't reach to get it in, hence why it came around to try and collect his semen lol. It was funny watching, and the poor guy had the look on his face like "wtf? I'm being raped!" and it was an unsuccessful collection needless to say.

    When dealing with horses/livestock there is a lot of nasty shit that goes on. Fortunately it's not an all too common thing to have to do/happen, and there is far more to enjoy from horse ownership/equestrian activities than having all the not so nice things that come along and crop up from time to time.

    The only thing I have done, not so much for pleasure, but rather relief from severe menstrual, pain is spend hours riding. It would always help subside the pain for me when the cramps got really bad. I miss being able to ride every time I have a bad case of that crop up, which is almost every time I'm on the rag. The only pleasure I have gotten from horses is of the non-sexual variety. I had a great deal of fun bonding, riding, learning, and spending time with horses. It was always great to feel 10 feet tall, and able to do things with a horse you otherwise could not do alone.

    I know you asked the question to be a dick, but I figured I'd give you something of interest to ponder and laugh about anyway.
  4. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Well, not a woman, but yeah... it's ironic I come across this thread at this moment when I feel so lonely, and have been ruminating over the past so much (all the time, but right now to a great degree). I'll always wonder what my life could have been like had I not have fucked it up. I'll always think about the times, not just the love making/sex, but the closeness, the bonding, the laughter, and good times I threw away being a fucked up retard. *sigh* I deserve what I have now though... part of me, a fragment of hope still lives that maybe one day I can fix what I destroyed. Probably not, but what can ya do... I'll always be a sappy faglord.
  5. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Originally posted by Malice Have you tried smoking weed to get done sleep? Just making sure, seems like an obvious thing to try. Pot always lets me sleep easily.

    Due to certain issues, pot isn't an option atm or I would have, trust me.
  6. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    MY SHIT CAME! 9:48am. Thank fucking the gods that be. Now time to spend the next 3 days recouping from this nightmare. Seriously, shit takes everything out of you. Had shit in me within less than 5 mins of receiving, it's 10:11am and I already cand feel my hips and legs lessening the pain (held a bit under my tongue too, aside from just and oral route). I took a super awesome, I know the fuck I won't be in pain dose.

    God I'm gonna be so fucked up- hope the fuck I can finally sleep now. If you don't hear from me, it's a good thing, and I am knocked out cold sleeping this fucking nightmare off. I don't even feel fucking tired at the moment though.. wtf.. this sucks... ah.. at least I wont be hurting during my insomnia though.
  7. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    equestrian activities. I could write a novel on what I know... and whatI don't know.. fuck.. I know about riding and all the little nitty gritty details nobody wants to do like farrier work and dealing with a colicing horse too.

    The law.. I like looking up court dockets for the fun of it. I'm a nosy busy body.
  8. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    I've killed. I had a farm. I've butchered goats, pigs, chickens, turkeys etc. I've witnessed death. I've seen death come... I have no qualms with it. I am empathetic to a great degree, but it's a necessary part of life.
  9. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    yeah, T-PAIN effects your opiate receptors. This is pretty much opiate withdrawal but worse imo (years of this shit effecting more than opiate receptors). I don't have other shit, can't get a hold of other shit, but I was gifted 5 somas which I ate. No sleep still. Seriously fuck!!! I've eaten enough drugs to sedate and kill a fucking horse! My friend offered me his much more comfortable bed to sleep in (he's not even here and won't be back for a few days)and it's helped a little, except I have a dozen pictures of jesus and crucified jesus' staring at me (devote catholic) but still, sleep eludes me. my shit will be here soon though..
  10. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Originally posted by paradoxspace Trying to quit oxys and would be my first time with withdrawal. I told myself i was gonna quit today and already feel like using due to brain zaps …. Or it could be the cervical herniated discs and pinched nerve. Cant tell yet

    fuck you... brain zaps? you don't know the half of what opiate hell is... Keep on chippin', boy, then experience real withdrawals after years of being on them, or another opiate- then you'll know true fucking pain and suffering. Your silly oxy's what are they 20mgs? That shit wouldnt be even worth my time unless I had like 10 of them minimum. You'd die taking my dosage, and no that's not bragging, I actually am envious of those with low tolerances... I miss being able to feel good with so little.

    BTW: excuse my cuntiness.. I'm currently in bad WD atm.
  11. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    yeah, coke can be hell on the cardiovascular system... so can meth.
  12. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Originally posted by Sir slappy the sea turtle Your ordering two kilos of T-PAIN?

    When my tax return comes, yes. I'm not gonna be stuck like this again.
  13. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    I have chronic pain, among other shit going on... I wasn't a very functional person without opiates. This is a good substitute. Ideally, one day I'll be living like a king in Myanmar and paying 2$ for a gram of H that's clean. I have my dreams...
  14. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Originally posted by Lanny How do people get up to such gnarly doses without realizing it's a problem? Like if you like it and just keep taking more I get that but WDs shouldn't surprise you.

    withdrawals don't surprise me, what surprises me is my very reliable vendor not shipping like they were supposed to (I even talked to them before hand). Fuck... I'm waiting for tax time and just ordering 2 kilos from china.
  15. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    I just started like yesterday and have no plans to continue it once my DOC arrives to whisk me out of withdrawals- it'll be here tomorrow morning.

    GOD! The fuckin' sneezes, the goddamn fucking sneeze your brain out sneezed, I hate life :( the world should not work this way.

    Lanny, I appreciate your help, but dhp (the active ingredient of nyquil) will turn me into an angry fucked up lunatic. I stopped taking it years ago because of that and avoid it. As bad as I am right now, I might give it a go, since there is some, somewhere here. But I'd rather bomb my brain with these, than take that and just be an angry mean cunt who can't sleep.
  16. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    This is what I have to work with, and my wonderful, life saving, drug that isn't shitty, will be arriving by 10am tomorrow. But the last few days have been fucking hell. I haven't fucking slept. Something has to knock my ass out that I have available short of causing a concussion.

    Everyone says fucking gabapentin and topiramate will knock most people out cold... not fucking me, though I've hesitated on taking the topiramate with all the gabapentin and propranolol I've taken but I'm ready to take that chance.
  17. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Fuck that! ^ Technology brings a great degree of happiness and satisfaction. People get burned out on shit- I love riding but I got burned out dealing with "horse people" and the show scene. They're all retarded assholes, most anyway. Even now, I've been dealing with "Horse people" again to find work and it just gives me a sour taste in my mouth, except for a select few.

    Hi, Sophie. :( Fucking I return to complain about WD from a research chem and you fuckking leave.. what kinda shit is that?
  18. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    First dose was 900mg, them up it to 1200, then said fuck that, and went to 1800. Last dose I took was 3 fucking grams.

    I still can't sleep. I still hurt like fuck, but I'm fucked up enough to as you space nigga's for help.

    I have topiramate. 75mg pills. should I take this on top, or solo? Oh God, T-PAIN withdrawal is no fucking joke, kids. This shit is every bit as bad as dilaudid withdrawal or any other opiate, if not worse. I've been on this shit for years, so that likely plays into why it's so fucking bad, but goddamn, I'm restless as fuck, tired but can't sleep, can't stay still for more than 30 seconds, my legs hurt SOOO FUCKING BAD! Dude, I thought the gabapentin would knock me out, but no.. here I am.. typing this shit.

    Also, I've been eating propranolol like candy too. It takes the very, little tiny edge off and usuallywhen I abuse it (take like half a gram) it'll help me sleep. My chest has been pounding bad, before I took it, it's helped there but not with sleep.

    I have 15 1/2 hours of this shit to wait. Counting every fucking minute. fuck Christmas! I wouldn't be like this if not for this retarded holiday.
  19. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Fuck sploo. He is a kid who is trying to be an edgelord-deluxe. He is nothing special and contributes nothing to anything here or in life. When he dies he will at best will not be missed, at worst celebrated that a destructive faggot no longer is fucking shit up in the lives of those he touched IRL.

    Sophie, (thanks got it) yes he is probably one of the smartest guys here. Seeing him and Lanny bicker back and forth is cute as shit. Two highly intelligent people arguing with all their autistic might. I like Lanny a lot, but he is a bit of a sheltered yuppie, but as far a yuppies go I really do like and respect him. He is like Malice in a lot of ways, but his soft side is far more obvious. I agree too, that we are gifted somehow with a lot of intelligent users, though the ones who post regularly are fewer and farther in between than all the shit posting idiots. You're one of the guys around here I really respect too, despite my lack of knowledge in your area of expertise, I can see that you contribute a lot, and you're always ready to help someone with a valid question you're able to answer.

    Space cat, give Mal-Mal more credit than that. He knows his shit and isn't a edgy drug club subscriber.

    Hahaha, ACAB, that was beautifully written. He would run away honestly. I laughed hard imagining it though. Best response of the whole thread so far.

  20. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    I love reading his posts. Often times they are long winded, very detailed, and with sources to back up his advice or opinions. Some people hate it, others like me love it. I really wish he would focus on writing a book- about anything, but I truly believe he would get a lot of attention if he published a book on autism and mental disorders.

    He genuinely cares, just not in a typical way. He hates woman, reproduction, and all the stupid emotionally driven choices I've made, but he has always tried to help with the best advice and sources he can give. He might act like an asshole sometimes with how he comments, but I believe a lot of his harshness comes from a desire to not watch someone harm themselves further.. Granted, he sometimes over dramatized situations, but he does it to make a point to whom it was directed at.

    Not just with myself, but I've seen him interact in a helpful way with a few others that he has taken special interest in and really tried to give them useful advice. He just hates when people don't take his advice because he feels so strongly its the correct choice. I know deep down Malice wants to see people flourish and excel in being the best they can be and when you think about all his problems and his elaborate ways he's schemed to better himself, its touching that he looks beyond himself to put the time and effort forward to give a leg up to others.

    When Malice calls someone out to have a problem, he might seem to be doing it to be an ass, but really, such as the case with Lanny as an example, he's doing it to call attention to an issue he sees that he needs to acknowledge that may better his quality of life or avoid issues in the future. If Malice didn't care about Lanny, it would have dropped long ago.

    Malice is the most caring, lovable, and intelligent autist I've ever had the pleasure to know on the internet.

    Thank you for being such a helpful influence to me. I hope one day you can overcome your problems and find happiness in this life.
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