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Posts by hydromorphone
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2017-05-08 at 12:36 PM UTC in What musical instruments do you play?
Originally posted by SCronaldo_J_Trump You should chill the fuck girl and live a little!, lol jk, facebook is lame though. But how do you keep in touch with people?. Don't tell me niggasin.space is your only social life?.
Pretty much. If I talk to people besides here, I text or call them. No need for Fagbook. I did have one a long time ago but used it only to promote my raw milk/farm business essentially. I don't even remember my password it's been so long anymore. -
2017-05-08 at 11:54 AM UTC in I recently started doing Phone Sex Operator workOh god, I feel like Helen of Troy now lol. The moon. That's awesome.
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2017-05-08 at 11:49 AM UTC in What musical instruments do you play?I don't do Facebook, sorry.
As for a band... I play for my enjoyment but I doubt anyone else gets anything but annoyance from me playing atm lol.
Also... Sploo? You do realize I'd probably end up killing him in real life, right? I'm not like the girls he pesters and harasses and won't "find and adult" to complain or say "stooooooop" in a high pitched bitchy voice... I'd turn around and knock his lights out lol. Thanks for the invite though. -
2017-05-08 at 11:44 AM UTC in I recently started doing Phone Sex Operator workYou're a trip, Space cat lmfao I certainly hope I'm not the queen of zoklet *face palm* oh god lmfao
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2017-05-08 at 11:40 AM UTC in What musical instruments do you play?Nothing is up, Lanlan. You fixed the site so when I post from my phone I don't have to edit paragraphs into it like before- I always wrote with paragraphs but your shit site would just block it up when I submitted. Several others complained and also vouched to that issue I was having back then. As soon as it was fixed paragraphs returned. Yay!
Yep... Alive. Still...
Ive been using playing as an outlet and a coping mechanism for my anxiety and stress. It helps a lot. I recommend you get a keyboard and try, so something.. Fuck a ukulele even is cheap and easy to learn on. Making Music is different than other types of art in that when you're making it you a few just in the moment and can enjoy what you're creating... At least that's how it is for me.
I got all my instruments cheap, if not paying a dime at all. There was... Things that happened that helped me aquire them. As for having the time... Well, I haven't been working much due to my health,but where ever I go I take the guitar or mandolin and play if I have free time or a break. -
2017-05-08 at 11:20 AM UTC in I recently started doing Phone Sex Operator work
Originally posted by SCronaldo_J_Trump Wanna move in with me and become a trianglist? I'll look after your kid no string attached
Will you supplement him with methamphetamines and dissasociatives? Will he be the grandmaster trolling trianglist when he is of the wee age of 12? If so then my answer is clearly Yes. How could I pass up an opportunity for my child's furtherment? -
2017-05-08 at 11:10 AM UTC in Would anyone in the Bay Area be wiling to keep me on suicide watch?Yeah I do actually. I was talking to someone about it recently and you came up regarding the K topic lol.
I hope it does help you, I've heard of it helping others at least for a while. I've considered trying it too, if for nothing else to cross off the list of shit I've tried..
And hell... Maybe it would work. Mushrooms have helped me similar in terms of the after effect as what is described for K. I wish I could still get some for free lol.
Seriously though, Mal- if you ever just want to talk or message or... Whatever might help, lemme know. Shit, text me. I gave you my new number in the email I sent. -
2017-05-08 at 11:04 AM UTC in Talk me out of my foolishness
Originally posted by Malice Jesus Christ Hydro, how do you write so much?
Serious question: Have you ever thought about making a living as an online freelance writer? Getting a degree in order to get your foot in the door is pretty easy, and I've read there are 3 year bachelor programs in Florida. You can make some decent income from home once you gain a reputation. I remember Lillix used to do this.
It's not an insult, the amount of writing you produce is just incredible in a way. It reminds me of IWD.
I don't know honestly... It just flows. I write a lot and while it's half assed grammatically correct, I never really thought my writing is good enough to do freelance writing. I don't know where to start on a topic I'm not interested in or we'll versed and knowledgable it. §m£ÂgØL actually does this and makes fair money from what I understand.
I don't enjoy writing like... College papers or the sort.. I enjoy bullshit writing though lol. I have gotten back into writing somewhat more frequently. I used to write a lot as a teenager- stories, fiction,and the like. -
2017-05-08 at 10:57 AM UTC in I gave drugs to my sister's kid tonight
Originally posted by Bill Krozby ^before you come to texas are you going to cry to lanny some more before?
Take the greyhound to austin, ill meet you at the station
lol do you think you're really worth anyone's time to make a special trip to kick your ass? Afraid not and I guess you can just keep hoping nobody every does cross your path like malice. -
2017-05-08 at 10:49 AM UTC in I recently started doing Phone Sex Operator workNothing with §m£ÂgØL was ever a troll regarding my son, the threesome in which I conceived, our brief relationship or me leaving my exhusband shortly after the baby was born. I don't troll. I've got pissed at him for trolling regarding me several times. That's not my game.
I'll fill you in on §m£ÂgØL's "condition" privately out of respect for him.
The area I am in now is pretty expensive... But meh.. Not as bad as your area lol.. Still, it's not bad.
BTW you got mail. -
2017-05-08 at 10:45 AM UTC in I recently started doing Phone Sex Operator work
Originally posted by Kolokol-1 ^probably just the evolutionary need to be with the father of your baby
A DNA test confirmed he is not. I did honestly believe due to some circumstances that are fairly rare genetic traits that he was §m£ÂgØL's but he is not- no matter. I never asked or tried to get §m£ÂgØL for child support so it doesn't even matter,any fear he had was solely in his head. My exhusband was io the birth certificate anyway so it really didn't matter- I regret that now and the only reason I let my exhusband sign it (he wanted to sign it despite him knowing there was a good chance he might not be the father- he wanted medication and to be a welfare whore *rollseyes*) was to help §m£ÂgØL not have so much fear or worry over it.
I love §m£ÂgØL. It is what it is. I'm okay with being alone for the rest of my life. I was with someone I never truly was in love with for 11 years- in part because I did care, but that was how he kept me by way of guilt, threats, and manipulation. It also didn't help my family was a bunch of idiots regarding him and had the mentality "you made your bed, lie in it" when it came to me wanting out of the relationship and our living arrangements with them. I'm fine with not being in a sexual or more than platonic relationship for the rest of my life. -
2017-05-08 at 10:22 AM UTC in Would anyone in the Bay Area be wiling to keep me on suicide watch?If I could I would, but I am about 3k miles away. If you ever want to call me or even maybe we could video chat, I'd be willing to do that to help... Maybe we can even get a few others here to help out too and take turns, so to speak.
I know I have my own bullshit but I've always genuinely felt a lot of empathy and sympathy for you, Malice. Email my college email Addy (if I don't message you with my new email before then) and I'll give you my new number and you're always welcome to call or message me, especially call or text me if things get bad and it's an emergency.
It makes me feel good and better myself when I can help another person. You're a good guy, Mal... A little strange at times, but still... You're a good person deep down. I'd be happy to help if I can. -
2017-05-08 at 10:17 AM UTC in I gave drugs to my sister's kid tonightHonestly... I could probably kick the shit out of Bill Krozby even though I've lost a lot of muscle mass in the last year lol. I wouldn't want to fight him though... I wouldn't want that kind of shit human being touching me, even if it was me knocking his teeth in... I'd rather just shoot him.
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2017-05-08 at 10:15 AM UTC in I gave drugs to my sister's kid tonight
Originally posted by Malice Bill Krozby, I swear to god, I've told myself that I'd prefer to never hurt another person except in self defence, but if a legitimate assassination market ever arises I may just try to contact old members and crowdfund a hit on you.
I'f I'm ever in Texas I promise you I'm willing to pay for us to go to an MMA gym and engage in mutual combat on cam. I will beat the ever loving shit out of you.
If Jesus exists, you are the only person he doesn't love. I think even the Buddha would bitchslap the shit out of you after he had enough.
I love you, Malice. You genuinely made me smile today with this post. I would pay money to see that, and put all my money on you to beat the ever living shit out of Bill Krozby lol. -
2017-05-08 at 10:11 AM UTC in I gave drugs to my sister's kid tonightAlso for wanting to call protective services for someone who is doing things and raising their child differently? What you described is not at all dangerous. This is not the case of a child with a high fever going days, delirious with other signs of negative effect that needs immediate medical attention. If that was the case the responsible thing to do is take them to a doctor or ER if it was. Using a natural alternative should never warrant CPS for what you described or anywhere similar. Neglect or shear retardedness in care- okay- but this is not that case. 101 is literally the start of a fever and depending on if they were running around and super active, and it being hot outside especially... That could naturally happen and go away within the hour of settling down... Same with placing a cool rag on their head. Drugs aren't always the best answer especially in very mild cases of illness or aliment as you described. That's fucked to just to calling CPS because you don't know how to do a good search on the remedy or the ailment of the child.
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2017-05-08 at 10:02 AM UTC in I gave drugs to my sister's kid tonightA fever of 101 on A child over 6months of age is not an emergency. If it sustains for a huge amount of time, mainly from causing nausea and poor intake of milk in babies is the worry here, but 101 is not a "high" fever. Babies get fevers like that from Teething sometimes also you can get one just from running or being very active outside.
When my son was teething I bought both baby orajel and the natural gel and also these herbal teething tablets. Guess which worked best? The natural shit. I would have used anything as long as it was safe and worked. The natural stuff lasted long, caused a calmer, easier to fall asleep baby, who's teeth didn't hurt. The orajel didn't last nearly as long or have the calming effect or help with sleep.
When it's not an emergency I am willing to try safe things. I've never heard of peppermint for a fever but hey... Try it and in a couple hours if it's not working crack out the children's Tylenol. I liked to use Luke warm rags (if it wasn't cold outside) on his head for fever and it would usually break within the hour. Remember also, shit like aspirin is derived from the willow tree bark- it was a native American remedyx so not all natural stuff is "hocus pocus" shit and can have a scientific backing,just not be approved by the FDA. Remember also that especially in children they can have allergies and back reactions depending on the illness causing the fever (Rey's syndrome?) that can be very bad even deadly... That shit also isn't good on little livers and should be avoided unless absolutely necessary a dog a 101 fever for a couple hours isn't that necessity.
Do some homework. I am sure there is a lot of info on herbs online that could help guide you better. Some works some doesn't... But as long as it's not toxic or have real risks, it's worth exploring to see. A lot of people thought I was nuts to give my son raw milk when I no longer could breast feed regularly. While in a lot of states it's outlawed for human consumption, there I a wealth of information to the contrary as long as it is produced in a clean and healthy environment and the animals are healthy and disease free. It is second best to breast milk,and there is a lot to back this up, along with common sense. -
2017-05-08 at 9:45 AM UTC in I recently started doing Phone Sex Operator work
Originally posted by Malice Holy shit, you actually weigh 140lbs now?! Congratufuckinglations. I recall coming across the statistics, and the percentage of people who manage to overcome obesity long-term is actually shockingly low. It really is a big accomplishment. I mean, it may have been as low as under 1% or somewhere around that level.
Can I have a pic via PM just out of curiosity? I won't share them. I'm nearly asexual, so I don't want nudes, lingerie, a sexy pose, or anything like that. Also, sorry about ignoring your emails, but to be perfectly honest I'm extremely autistic and not good with people at all. I didn't think I was capable of giving you the support and attention you needed. I have to accept my limitations, I've literally barely spoken to anyone in 3 years.
Also, I think you should reconsider your stance on relationships. You're dealing enormous trauma from having severely hurt and abused and should see a therapist when you can. Human beings did not evolve to be alone, and I learned that the hard way. It doesn't have to be immediately, but when you get your life together and time heals some of the wounds, give it another chance. Especially if you go back to school; that's one of the best places to meet people.
Oh, and what's the pay like for phone sex and used panties? God I envy how women can get by on that. Then again, there's also an enormous burden to bear that comes along with being female. The human condition is a sad thing.
Yeah, lol, literally... Last I was on a scale which was months ago (December? Something like that) I weighed in at around 160lbs. Since then I haven't weighed but clothing that fit me well just hangs off me now- I've kept some. Jeans just work around in And shit, but I need a belt to wear them, and some T-shirts that are baggy to get dirty in or bebop around the house. I was wearing 12-14 woman's size. Now I wear mostly 9-10's. I even have a couple pairs of 8's that fit me snug but well. It all depends on brand and cut but still... I've at a. Minimum lost an extra 10lbs being conservative, but definitely feels more closer to 20lbs with the way the shit I had that fit now drapes off me lol.
I appreciate the positivity- I realize this is a place that could definitely be used to make fun of, or troll me on. I am Who I am though and shit like that stopped bothering me a long time ago.
You're one of the few people from here that I would be willing to share a picture with if you're so inclined to See I'm not full of shit. I have a picture I took wearing a bikini top, and a long skirt that shows off exactly how much weight I've lost. I'll send an email to you when I get a chance... If I forget email my college email address if you still have that one saved. I know you're decent enough of a person to respect my wishes and not repost back on here with it. I know you're pretty much asexual and even if you weren't, it's not a big deal.
I've been doing the calls freelance, though I have been applying for legit PSO services as well as working on. Setting up accounts at freelance web services. I get paid via PayPal. I make 20$ an hour which isn't too bad. I've been selling the panties for 15$ plus shipping. (something around 22$ when it's all said and done). It's not bad work at all... If you can even call it that lol.
As for my stance on relationships - I'll be honest and say I am Still in love with §m£ÂgØL. I don't feel right about other sexual situations. There's been more to that but I'll keep that private and maybe if youre so inclined, I will talk about it privately. I have friends and have been more social than I ever have been since I was a teenager and met my exhusband. I'm not lacking there. As for your apology for "not being a good support", there is no need. You did help me in a Lot of ways with a ton of advice I appreciate immensely even now. I wish I was able to help you with some of your problems and still, my offer is ever open, if you ever wish to talk or even just message through email (my phone number has changed though- I'll give you my new one if you ever need to talk or whatever) . I like helping people. It helps me too in a weird way.
Thanks again and yeah, I'll be in touch. Sincerely, I hope you're starting to do better, my friend. -
2017-05-08 at 9:19 AM UTC in I recently started doing Phone Sex Operator workI haven't been doing it long. I've had a handful of calls I've done. I do spend the bulk of these calls in more sexual topics, though I have noticed that the beginning and end has been been... More just talking in a therapeutic manner. One. Older gentleman who has called the most, always takes the time to greet me with respect, ask how I am doing, tell me a little about his day, whatever is stressed him out (while I've a few times gave out some advice and at least sympathized with him genuinely). He is the nicest, though he has a scat fetish lol- which hey... Like I told him after one session, when he confided in me how hard it is to find people open to that (and NO! Never would I IRL have anything to do with feces and piss especially in. A sexual situation.) sort of thing and how sometimes he feels guilty for it. I told him. "rule of thumb to any action is first: does it hurt or infringe or someone else's rights as a human? If it doesn't and you have two (or however many, if that's your thing) consenting adults then there is nothing wrong with doing whether is be on. The phone, alone, with someone IRL or whatever. Things that you find satisfying. Those people who would look down and judge you... Don't let it bother you too much, there is always gonna be an asshole and most those stuck up "holier than thou" people who would pass judgment on what you enjoy are the same people found out to be doing far Kinkier and awful things like hurting children when they are found out... So why let someone like them judging you and you having it make you feel guilty? " he seemed to respond to that very well and was extremely happy when we ended the call,he also prepaid for time for me right after lol. It was a nice confidence boost since he said at the end" you've been more fun than anyone else I've come across before and I don't just mean that for the "fun" we had- you're one in a million". I've spent approx. 15 mins of the hour he pays for just "getting into it" with his greetings, small talk and also usually a little bit of talking and "winding down" after to say goodbye. It could definitely be worse. I can't say I "enjoy" but... I don't necessarily dislike it either.
I appreciate your encouragement, Malice. Since sex has been a hard issue for me to deal with due to my sexual dysfunctions, it's been hard to get into the sex industry, but this, yes... I am very verbose and can carry a conversation and would like to think I think quick on my feet while talking, especially in this context. I do have empathy for these lonely men who've been calling... I'm glad I can help in a healthy way for them. To have some intimacy and sexual enjoyment in a way they might not otherwise be able to have without my services- I am naturally a compassionate and empathetic person.
Well it has been interesting to say the least.
Oh, and Malice... I read your thread the other day about the ER but didn't reply to it.. I didn't quite understand what happened for it could come to that but I am glad you got help and hope you're doing better. I do genuinely care for you and have a great deal of empathy for you and your issues. You're one of the best people on NiS and a huge reason I still at the least lurk here from time to time still- you offer very good and thoughtful advice a lot of times and offer an interesting perspective you don't find in many people. I took a hiatus for being busy and personal reasons related to my health that occurred some months ago. -
2017-05-08 at 8:35 AM UTC in I recently started doing Phone Sex Operator workYep.
I put this in "reinvent yourself" because since I've split with my piece of shit exhusband, that I've been separated from for almost 2 years (will be in July.)ive had a lot of changes... Not all... Most not so good.
I've become epileptic. I've began having episodes since last July. Luckily I usually know when they will happen and get auras... But I do hit my head a lot. I don't like the anti-epileptic medications. Phenibut has helped somewhat but I only use it when shit is really bad and I do that sparingly as I don't need a second addiction.
Since I became pregnantxi then began rapidly losing weight. I lost 20lbs. At the end of my pregnancy right before giving birth and then lost another 12 or so pounds right after delivery of my son. Since then I've steadily lost and lost weight, and in the last year it's happened rapidly.
I used to be a large woman, albeit very active and strong. I did farrier work for about 7 years and it's one of the most physically demanding jobs out there. Working with horses regularly and having the farm was both two other very labor intensive jobs. I don't eat anymore than the average person,and all my life I've had people comment about that related to my size once they've actually seen and lived with me over the course of months or more to know I legitimately was eating normal, even moderately healthy most the time. I was about 230-250 at 5'8" for the bulk of my teens and just prior to becoming pregnant,but a very athletic and strong heavy set woman, far more than most woman and men in my weight class.
Something changed since getting pregnant for me. Also in the last year, since the seizures began, I've lost a lot of muscle mass, but also dropped a lot of weight. Currently I am Approximately 140lbs.
I've always been told by a lot of men, even if they weren't attracted due to my weight, that I have a very pretty face. Since being with my husband I pretty much gave up on giving a fuck how I looked, and "trying". I never was a girlie-girl who wore makeup (I had a Gothic phase in my early teens but besides) I've dressed comfortably and practically for the jobs I worked which were always manual labor besides a few years as a waitress. I haven't exactly become an everyday makeup wearing woman, but I have been dressing up a little, wearing some lip color sometimes, and dressing more feminine (a lot to do with my weight loss and having to have got new clothes that actually fit me. I got some things just a month or two. Ago that have become very lose on me since I still am losing a rapid pace). I didn't do this for anyone but me. I am not and have no interest in attracting a partner and am celibate- I sincerely do not wish to have sex at all with anyone. I am far happier single than I ever was with my exhusband and I am okay with being alone. I just found and was give a lot of clothing that I would have loved to wear being larger but we cost prohibitive and not at all conducive to the line of work I was in for so many years. I still require shit I wear to be at least somewhat comfortable though. I wear a lot more dresses, high over the knee boots. I also wear more jedielry I otherwise hadn't chose to wear in many, many years such as earrings sometimes.
I've had a lot of positive reactions and been hit on a lot too. Some being some good looking men, with their shit together too. It's annoying to me though when it gets too pushy or aggressive since I have no desires for relationships or sex even. I also have been going to more social places and even the bar a couple times which is something I haven't done since I've been in my teens,so this also may account for that.
Well, since this positive response I have grown interest in phone sex operator work being that it's easy money, is something I can do despite being epileptic, doesn't require any physical labor and I can work when I feel like it most the time. I've done a few calls so far, just started. I'm not keen on it since I I reality have little desire for sex, but it's not so bad (I considered prostitution a long while ago, but I could never really get to the point of actually doing it- I have no qualms about it morally, but emotionally I can't bring myself to have sex with random men) . I've also taken some pictures and been paid by some clients and gotten repeat business by all that have been willing to pay for that. While I don't particularly find myself attractive and see a lot of flaws I don't like about myself, but apparently there is quite a few men who do find me attractive and willing to pay to see me naked/in sexual situations and have me help them via the phone experience their sexual fantasies.
I don't know that this is reinventing myself, as none of these changes were conscious actions or having any of this as a goal or an idea to "reinvent" myself, but in the last 2 years maybe a little more, since I became pregnant and gave birth, things have been very different for me in drastic ways.
I am hoping since my health has gotten poorer over these years too, that this new job which has me utilize my physical body in a more sexual way that is less demanding than anything else I've ever done for employment, works out in the long run and picks up speed. I think the only thing that will make it a failure is me finally getting burnt out and/or too bothered by the sexual nature of the job since I pretty much lack a normal sex drive or desires- I can't even get off anymore while masturbating ,but it's not so much a big deal.(last real orgasm I had was a year ago approximately).
Inb4 tits or gtfo. No pics for you faggots,thats my newest bread and butter lol. Plus there are other reasons I'd prefer to avoid littering pics of me all over a fucked up fringy forum.
Anyone everyone done or used a phone sex operator before? Any suggestions on how to handle this rapid weight loss in a more healthy weight- I have trouble eating and it's why it's been so much recently, though I was losing at a steady rate even when I could eat properly. Oh.. And I did also begin. Selling my worn and used sexy panties. I usually go Commando and have for years except while The rag,butnfigured fuck it and been wearing them just to sell since I found out this was a. Thing (wtf.. I. Don't get buying used Panties but whatever floats your boat.) anyone else done or been on the consumer end of shit like this? Advice for starting Out doing PSO work? -
2017-05-08 at 7:37 AM UTC in Talk me out of my foolishnessI agree here with Malice on this one. If it's too far out for a close friend to understand, then it probably might not be a good idea.
I suffer with anxiety and chronic depression. A large part to do with my circumstance and my chronic pain. Playing the guitar these last few months had helped significantly. My problems also. Do with the fact that I am extremely empathetic- I can feel other's pain as though it were my own to a large degree... I feel too much and I am greatly influenced by the pep level around me. It makes it so I don't like to go out to the store or have to interact with a a large number of people or be around people for long. I'm very selective on who I go around by choice for this reason... There are so many people I just can't handle. My anxiety can be moldy irrational at times, but some of it is rational fear and stress just blown way out of proportion than the average person experiences. I get depressed a lot and is hard to get out of it... For the depression sometimes trying to help a friend who's experiencing something similar helps me stay positive myself,but I fluctuate from times where I'm.. Meh.. To times I've got a gun to my head. It's been this way for years and only gotten worse- it goes in cycles. It's not so much depressed friends who make shit worse- typically they dont- its just the wrong people... People who lie, who are assholes, people who manipulate, and cause unneeded drama or have no empathy (not even like mine, just general basic human empathy) that cause things to get worse. Around the right person or people my health and mental issues show a great deal of improvement. I have been medicating with T-PAIN sodium for years both for my chronic painand for the antidepressant and anti-anxiety effects,which does so very well, very quickly and help a lot over the years-but tolerance goes up quick, you have to dose several times a day and you become physically dependent just like with opiates with about the same amount of usage it would take to experience Withdrawals from opiates after beginning and using them daily (3-7 days or so). I. Must stress T-PAIN withdrawals are pretty bad... Worst of any opiates I can think of... It also lasts a long time, but it may be only because I've been on the shit for several years now at very high doses.
Hope shit gets better for you. Despite our differences, I can sympathize with that sort of "pain" in one's life,and maybe some things mentioned above could help your situation some, but being we are very different, maybe not... But the T-PAIN doesn't blunt emotions,it helps more and often makes me more emotional but usually in good or healthy way, at least an improvement from how I used to be. Even when I am going over some hard or depressing issues, it gives me more emotions, but also more positive and "lovey" emotions- I would say it's worth it to try at least and see if it doesn't help. I have no idea with the drug interactions of this with lithium, but maybe Malice could chime in here with information to its safety in conjunction,or maybe you could taper off the lithium and then try the T-PAIN... It works immediately so for a trail it's not a huge investment and you'll know how it works for your issues. It's mild too, just don't take too much your first go and you'll be fine,taking.too much can cause an opiate type of nausea and higher doses feel like opiates and help with pain a great deal.
Good luck- you seem like a decent guy, so I hope everything works in the best and most positive ways and you're at minimum able to find good coping Methods and better ways to deal with your problems in a lasting and realistic way.