Posts by Item 9

1. 2018-10-13 at 1:19 AM UTC in Request users be banned here
   

   Item 9 African Astronaut
   Installl a breathlyizer interlock and ban me from posting above 1% Bac
2. 2018-10-13 at 1:13 AM UTC in For 5 YEARS me and Pablo Escobar were alive at the same time.
   

   Item 9 African Astronaut
   For some reason that sorta seems like a "surreal" thing, cause it feels like all that shit happened forever ago. Actually, I don't think it feels strange, just makes feel like an old fucker
3. 2018-10-13 at 12:11 AM UTC in Any hot chicks wanna get married?
   

   Item 9 African Astronaut
   Or just...average, whatever looking?...or just...not-hideous looking? Im 30 now (😱) so I guess i'm supposed to get married.:-/
4. 2018-10-12 at 11:28 PM UTC in First time voting
   

   Item 9 African Astronaut
   marijuana
5. 2018-10-12 at 10:42 PM UTC in Removing alcohol from gasoline and selling to kids
   

   Item 9 African Astronaut
   Make counterfeit xanax bars with nothing in them
6. 2018-10-12 at 10:39 PM UTC in penis: 3:16
   

   Item 9 African Astronaut
   lol google that
7. 2018-10-12 at 10:38 PM UTC in Couldn't a hacker basically just credit money to an account without putting in any money?
   

   Item 9 African Astronaut
   Does that ever happen? Maybe it does and we don't know.
8. 2018-10-12 at 9:35 PM UTC in I wish I could see my dick through my 10-year old self's eyes.
   

   Item 9 African Astronaut
   Because then I could see how big it actually is. I wonder if I would have had more confidence back then if I knew how much bigger my dick would become.
9. 2018-10-12 at 6:46 PM UTC in PLEASE!!!
   

   Item 9 African Astronaut
10. 2018-10-12 at 6:25 PM UTC in What are you drinking tonight?
    

    Item 9 African Astronaut
    dont ask
11. 2018-10-12 at 6:23 PM UTC in *bottle of laundry detergent* "32 loads"
    

    Item 9 African Astronaut
    Does that mean it cleans 32 loads of semen?
12. 2018-10-12 at 6:19 PM UTC in Has anybody ever stuck a microphone up their ass while it was on?a
    

    Item 9 African Astronaut
    I fat fingered the submit button, nevermind.
13. 2018-10-12 at 6:19 PM UTC in Has anybody ever stuck a microphone up their ass while it was on?a
    

    Item 9 African Astronaut
    I can imagine pee
14. 2018-10-12 at 6:12 PM UTC in 2pacs of eminems cost 50 cent thats ludacris & can i have my nickelback?
    

    Item 9 African Astronaut

    Originally posted by Sudo Posting on a 13 year olds Facebook wall

    
    from 2008
15. 2018-10-12 at 6:12 PM UTC in this days gonna be a muddafuker
    

    Item 9 African Astronaut
    i can tell
16. 2018-10-12 at 4:24 PM UTC in 2pacs of eminems cost 50 cent thats ludacris & can i have my nickelback?
    

    Item 9 African Astronaut
    nickel nickel nickel nickel nickel nickel, why do you call yourself a nickel
17. 2018-10-12 at 4:09 PM UTC in Which one of yiur nuts hangs lower?
    

    Item 9 African Astronaut
    Right, left, or middle?
18. 2018-10-12 at 4:01 PM UTC in *sigh* So I was like "fuck you mom, i'll blow my head off in front of you"
    

    Item 9 African Astronaut
    i think she took the day off, why me
    
    I'll have a chance to get booze later though
19. 2018-10-12 at 3:48 PM UTC in *sigh* So I was like "fuck you mom, i'll blow my head off in front of you"
    

    Item 9 African Astronaut
    i dont like the way brains out sounds
20. 2018-10-12 at 3:44 PM UTC in *sigh* So I was like "fuck you mom, i'll blow my head off in front of you"
    

    Item 9 African Astronaut
    Greeeeeaat, assfuck already mentioned it to me, like I really give a shit And she said I said "blow my brains out", no shitface, I said "head off"