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Posts by Malice

  1. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by LegalizeSpiritualDiscovery_

    .. anyway time for a real manly-man story;
    so i was out and about in the city just doing my thing aka 'strutting my shit' walkin around smoking cigarettes and listening to my mp3 player ( no headphones, i dont care if you dont like my music bitch ) and I saw a homeless guy and rolled my fucking eyes at him. then it started getting windy so i had to really hold on to my hat.

    Posts like this really are pathetic, unimaginative, and unworthy of being posted. (I'm referring to my own.)

    Wait a minute, you were just criticized recently for the exact same thing! I would say this is at least mildly more interesting. Planning the perfect suicide and reveling in the debauchery capitalism enables and promotes.
  2. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Dude, I'm in the quiet zone of the college library. Well, I'm discount alcohol buzzed, so I don't care and can make generic unimaginative comments such as this, simply playing the part, and not care. We're all adults here, they should be able to handle seeing nudity, and if not I can always run out shamelessly.

    My penis is actually normal and unremarkable, btw. That was just a troll. For one of the pics I just pushed it in, rapidly moved my hand away, and took a picture at the right moment. For another I was using either my pinky and ring or ring and middle fingers to pull the skin up so that it looked a lot smaller flaccid than it actually is.
  3. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Fucking MoneyGram locked my account and stated I had to do it in person when I tried to transfer money online. What exactly is so suspicious about a Hispanic individual in his late 20s transferring money from California to an account associated with a Bulgarian online pharmacy?

    Well, it's done. I feel proud of myself, actually taking the steps to ensure a peaceful death. It's one of the most extreme acts a human being can commit.

    The Stater Bros, which is about a 12 minute walk from college, has shopping carts filled with "Manager's Special" discount alcohol. I got a handle of Jose Cuervo margarita for $8 and a 24oz can of pineapple Steel Reserve for $1. The former is oishii, the latter I had never tried before this. I would have expected SR to be pretty bad, but it's not bad, especially for the price. It just tastes like mildly alcoholic soda, and 8% is nothing to scoff at for a full 24oz. You can catch a pretty good buzz off of it. Probably would have been better to only drink half. Not like you have to care about health when you're planning on checking out early. It's liberating.

    Discount liquor is a dream for the burgeoning suicidal-alcoholic college student. I wonder if Lanny ever had a place like this when he actually had to be concerned about monetary matters as us peasants have to. It's the jedi within me resonating with the optimal utility ratios found.
  4. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Fox Paws So when you gonna do it

    Sometime this year. I should give low doses of meth (5-10mg 5 days a week) and benzos (once a day 4 days a week) a try first, see whether there's enough potential in me to actually make a difference. Happiness is an incredibly poor reason to continue to live and doesn't stand up to scrutiny.

    To be clear, I'm not exactly planning on committing suicide, but it is the most likely option and I would like to prepare the method so that I can leave at any moment.
  5. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Also planning on adding a strong opioid to the mix for euphoria, the psychological effects, and to reduce the risk of any suffering. I want the best death possible.
  6. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Felt jealous that the guy who's probably the most intelligent in our philosophy class finished before me. To be fair, I barely studied, didn't use any notes, and I genuinely need stimulants, but still. I should also improve my test taking skills. I have this bad habit of going over the other answers even when I've identified the correct one. This isn't entirely bad because it can help you spot tricky questions, but for easy non-STEM classes like this I should just go go go without hesitation.

    Can't wait to see how our scores compare, although I definitely may have missed some. 100 question test.

    Chance of suicide has been reduced. The reason I barely studied and didn't take the option of using a page, full front and back, of notes is because I decided my GPA didn't matter anymore since currently I'm only planning to keep attending to pass the time until preparations are complete.
  7. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by aldra hope his university's ok

    They'll be fine. Memantine has had a large positive impact on controlling my anger, irritability, and intrusive obsessive thoughts.

    Originally posted by Fox Paws Did nobody notice Malice just said he was gonna kill himself?



    Peaceful Pill eHandbook, revised December 2017. The first two are powerful anti-emetics, they simply prevent you from vomiting the substances you take orally to end your life. Prozasin is a medication PoC mentioned a while back. It's used for PTSD and counteracts the effects of norepinephrine. I'm hypersensitive to NE, which PTSD made worse, and it gives me horrendous anxiety-apprehension-fear-paralysis(inaction). I'm hoping that when combined with a strong benzo it will eliminate the fear response, the fear of death being the strongest innate biological instinct. Can't spread your genes if you're dead.

    I'm also planning on ordering the pentobarbital soon. I know a reliable supplier (He's supposed to be the supplier, at least for North America).

    Death is nothing to fear. When we're alive we aren't dead, and when were dead there's nothing left of us to suffer.
  8. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Sploo, you’ll be happy to know that you may finally be getting your wish. I’ve decided to catch the bus.
  9. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Alcohol reveals the truth. The fact that I think of nothing but suicide and feel far more capable of going through with it reveals a lot about what my genuine desires are once inhibition and anxiety are lowered.
  10. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    I'm fucking autistic. You really shouldn't pass judgement on this without a thorough understanding of the neurology of the disorder.

    I would never assume that you were just weak willed and overly emotional and that this is the only thing keeping you from quitting opioids all together.

    I'm seriously going to consider getting a passport then maxing out my student loans and going out with a bang in Mexico or someplace before committing suicide. I don't like being alive and this isn't for me. I'm not going to cowardly cling to life out simply due to an illogical biological instinct.
  11. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Lanny You can find your way to the DNM of the month no?

    Well, it's legal, so if a clearnet site has it that'll be more convenient. Synester was considered the best darknet benzo powder vendor, but I don't know if he's still around.
  12. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Man, I'm totally lost. I can't find shit easily. Voat is fucking dead.
  13. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    I want to try out Diclazepam, but now I have to figure out the best place to order it from now that RCSources and Grams search engine are down. Bollocks to it all.
  14. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Malice

    Do you think this would make for a good tattoo, except with the bars being bent, or is it too cringey?
  15. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by CASPER Damn dude. U grinding or what?

    I'd sure as hell would like to be now that I know it may take months to see a psychiatrist. Low doses of meth can actually be good for you, and it can actually be prescribed for ADD under the name Desoxyn.

    Help me to succeed, father! This is the only chance I have at getting my life together and breaking out of my autistic prison!
  16. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
  17. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Enter I've always wanted the best for Malice but he keeps shutting me out. Everyone who's friends with me is glad they're friends with me. I mean, I'm that lovable scamp, Enter! I'm like the Kramer to your Jerry!

    That's because I want what's best for me too, Enter.
  18. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by NARCassist yeah if you call constantly talking about school shootings and genocides as 'better without it'.



    .

    Death to the human race!
  19. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Lanny Fuck your optimal, your idea of optimal medication induced suicidal depression and social withdrawal. You don't "need medication to function", you've been functioning better without it than you have in the last what, 10 years? of insane cocktails of drugs in the name of "self medication". Remember when nsi-189 was going to fix all your problems and turn your into the ubermensch? Remember when nardil was going to fix your life? How'd that work out for you?

    Uh, yeah, I readily admitted social isolation was the critical factor. I had actually enrolled in Berkeley City College to combat this and even stopped posting for a pretty long period. That doesn't mean that medication was making things worse or that I don't need it.

    Incredibly poor grasp of logic and reasoning. I swear, you people.
  20. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    People respond to drugs in different ways and some can actually handle them. Annoying.
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