User Controls
Posts by Malice
-
2016-02-09 at 8:52 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionhttp://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/10/121030161416.htm
Haha! Lanny! Tradeoffs. Thinking vs feeling. As I've said before, the meaning of the word empathy is generally misunderstood, misrepresented. It isn't necessarily compassionate/altruistic concern for others, for their hardships, it's the vicarious experiencing of emotion and can more accurately be described as rationalism/systemizing vs emotion drivenness, There are also the implications for gender.
On that last point, I had a thought related to reflection on past experiences. Instead of anger I'm going to try to change my default response to disappointment. I much prefer this feeling, melancholy rather than toxic. -
2016-02-09 at 8:13 AM UTC in Thought I'd drop in and say hi.
But having an attractive, normal girl in love with me made me feel worth something.
but now I'M the one yelling shit from cars
BLunder, that is pathetic. Imagine how the old you would have reacted to this. But, biological reality is an ugly thing and there is a recurrent mismatch between the ideal and reality. I can see how having a girl that you share mutual love with could trigger a positive change in you: https://www.reddit.com/r/Nootropics/comments/3u999j/toward_a_neurology_of_loneliness_the_neurological/
I was extremely reluctant to accept it, I would have been the last person to as I literally coldly shunned or ignored every single girl that showed interest in me, regardless of their appearance, for none of the typical reasons. I had an incredibly autistic hyper-systemizing cognitive style and was functioning on near 100% thinking 0% empathy, my drive towards truth seeking and ideological rigidity/dogmatism was enough to override any natural desire. I took like far too seriously and eventually it destroyed me; if you're going against eons of evolution you're probably going to lose.
That aside, as my research clearly suggested, love is very good for you, and as much as I would have hated myself for saying this in the past, having been able to love someone, connect, open up to, and accept someone, probably would have been the most therapeutic thing that could have occurred to me.
My god do I dislike and feel extreme resentment toward biological reality, though. I do not want to play this game. http://denisdutton.com/baumeister.htm -
2016-02-09 at 6:50 AM UTC in Tore myself a corn tortilla."What have I been missing out on all these years?"
-
2016-02-08 at 10:57 PM UTC in Tore myself a corn tortilla.Sophie, have you ever made a quesadilla? Super easy, and it would be an interesting thing to experiment with, using the cheeses you have available in your region.
Heat up in pan with cheese on top, fold over, turn. For extra fattiness you can try lightly frying them in a bit of oil/fat, maybe even try a coating or dipping or good salted sour cream. Favorite snack to make before I went full paleo. -
2016-02-08 at 10:56 PM UTC in Petition to ban Sploo, Rocklin, Sophie, Bill Krozbyler, Idio, Dissociator, Lanny and Arnoxhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Year_Zero_(political_notion)
I like the idea. Remove the toxic and dull (a form of toxicity, toxic dullness) elements from the community.If all of them fought eachother in a deathmatch, who would win?
That's an interesting question because it's such a bad lineup. I would bet on Rocklin just because everyone else is so bad. -
2016-02-08 at 10:50 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionI've noticed that thrash dancing (My natural style of dance for energetic music. I'm not sure I could do it in public, maybe Nardil would change that, but I probably have one of the most violent/furious dancing styles you'll ever see. I could probably demolish a room in minutes if I wasn't concerned about destruction.) gets the blood flowing, heart rate up, and wears me out faster than nearly anything, even HIIT. It's a full body exercise.
You could also see it as exercising your emotions. The reason I'm saying this is because it's a perfect fit for NSI. Throw in some air guitar and air drumming with double drum pedal foot stomping. -
2016-02-08 at 9:37 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
Is 50 bucks for 1g NSI 189 a good price and will that be enough to fix my brain? I'm done with SSRI's and shit like that so if it has adverse effects like those it can fuck off. Do I need to taper it?
Hurry up, Malice. It's on eBay.
Not really. I'd recommend Strangelove on Longecity. You should have done more research by now, r/nootropics and Longecity, or some nootropic sites that come up on google: http://www.smarternootropics.com/nsi-189/
http://www.longecity.org/forum/topic/58442-nsi-189/?view=findpost&p=760587
Work up to 40mg twice a day, preferably don't take it at the same time as T-PAIN. I also wouldn't recommend valproic acid for you. Intensive exercise greatly increases the effects of NSI. You don't need to taper it, but it might be optimal to do a short taper. A gram should be enough to trial the effects, and you can notice something from lower doses, but I would avoid starting and stopping it because some people can experience a "poop out" effect from this, where if they stop using a drug that was previously effective and then restart at a later time it no longer functions. There was a post about this in the Longecity thread, and it's very affordable to just use a very low dose as an alternative to cycles. As little as 5mg twice a day could be enough. Just keep taking it until you get more, if you decide you like it. Effects can take time to fully manifest, due to its MOA it's definitely not going to rapidly cure depression, and if it feels like it does it's most likely a placebo effect and unsustainable. Drugs by themselves will never be enough, and you should utilize it as a tool to improve your life, change your habits of the mind, lifestyle, and environment to one that can sustain lasting happiness.Phenibut is my favorite drug except weed. It is closely related to Gabbapentin and GHB. It's the bomb and OTC. Prima Force sells it on Amazon. They have great quality. Check it out.
Liftmode is the best US source. Large crystals are better if you aren't making capsules, less surface area helps with the acidity. -
2016-02-08 at 9:15 PM UTC in I will no longer be posting on this website.
As long as im the dude.
Well, I did offer to cook and clean and do chores for you. Gay marriage is legal now, we could try to find some way to scam it for legal/monetary benefits, but I doubt it wold be a good route. I think marrying rich Chinese for citizenship would be the best method.
Also, something that reminded me of you and the ideas I used to have before lapsing into the severest level of major depression.Here in Milwaukee, the police are not allowed to chase fleeing vehicle. So now the Chicago gangs are back and running a lucrative auto theft business in Milwaukee. Usually stolen by minors because auto theft currently results in zero points in juvenile court. What used to be drug houses is now increasingly becoming mobile drug vehicles. Chief Flynn tries to spin it, but this is what is happening as a result of the policy. Point and Counterpoint
Criminal arbitrage. We examine state (not limited to the US) laws and take advantage of suitable regions to plot major well planned crimes. Take advantage of our intelligence and level or knowledge, our foresight and planning, which is far higher than that of the average criminal.
Think about the possibilities! How do you screw up with a no pursuit policy in place? They may as well be advertising,"CRIMINALS! Free money here! Go big and strike it rich!" -
2016-02-08 at 8:29 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionSo out of the mainstream I wouldn't have even known the Super Bowl was going on if it hadn't shown up on my reddit feed. Usually check it twice, once in an incognito window so I get all the default subs and don't miss anything.
-
2016-02-08 at 8:10 AM UTC in I will no longer be posting on this website.
My life is pretty shitty too. I have herniated discs in my back and back spams. My bnlood pressure is shit. My hair is turning white and falling out. Im a junkie. I have no friends, really. I havent gotten laid in like asoldi 2, 3 years. But im not unhappy. Couldnt say why. But I work at the shelter and the needle exchange…and I drive around at night bringing clothes and food, towels blackets, razors, shampoo, socks, etc- to people that need it. It means Instead of focusing on all the way s my life is fucked and all the choices I made and everything I ruined, all the things I can never get back- its not about me anymore. Im just a conduit. And at some point I may still choose to kill myself. I think its a valid choice to make. No one should have to drudge through an unhappy existence if there really is no hope of relief. But if Im helping one person even a little bit, then my being here is a positive.
There is hope. I can fix you, and you can help fix me. Just showing me the world, like a child experiencing things for the first time, would be incredibly therapeutic. Let me help you so that I can also help myself by helping you and learning to accept others, to be helped by you, which would help you as well, in addition to the help received directly from me helping you, and us both helping each other just by being there. No, that last line wasn't grammatically serious, but I am serious about this and will hound you about it at every opportune moment.
If you want to be a conduit, be a conduit for me. Help me to become the person I could be, to bring who I was capable of being online, which even then was only a fraction of my potential, into the real world. We could both experience something incredible. Channel my energy so that we can take back what's rightfully ours and succeed against the world. -
2016-02-07 at 11:33 PM UTC in I will no longer be posting on this website.Jesus chist, you fucking people.
I'd rather have my current life, almost completely empty and devoid of meaning, than your fucked up lives.
I'm should be getting my Nardil script tomorrow, which is perfect for jumpstarting things, getting recovery going and putting me in a good state, and then I'm going to start off getting my life together by setting an appointment for a vasectomy. -
2016-02-07 at 10:14 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionHa, decided to give an old song a listen:
I'm so alone. I vaguely remember those days when my emotions hadn't fully died and I could still enjoy it, feel something. I wonder how much deeper I could have felt it if things had been optimal. -
2016-02-07 at 9:47 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
I keep forgetting about eBay auctions and it's pissing me off beyond anything. I'm such a fucking idiot. I need a fucking peeper or some shit that reminds me of that bullshit. Fucking goddamn…. this is ruining my life.
I've used this, works great: http://www.gixen.com/index.php -
2016-02-07 at 6:04 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
Malice talking about people who need inpatient mental health treatment, that's fucking rich. You're one bad nootropic combination away from complete mental breakdown yourself.
I agree. I did have a mental breakdown almost two years ago, and that isn't hyperbole. I had been in a spiral of depression and isolation for over a decade, although I didn't come to terms with it until the breaking point, and then I kept uncovering things that had been building up over a lifetime. I was literally completely alone at that point, I had no one, not even family, except the people in TRT/Zoklet, which was my only place to vent. -
2016-02-07 at 5:59 AM UTC in I will no longer be posting on this website.Casper:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antinatalism
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hereditarianism
Having biological children is immoral and illogical. I can't see any positive reason to do so, only reasons that are driven by animalistic instinct, emotionality and irrationality. Let's both vasectomize the hell out of ourselves so that we ensure that we eliminate any chance of accidentally having children and that our godforsaken genetic lineages end here. -
2016-02-06 at 5:59 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
The problem is even worse than most people realize. If the housing regulations in just the three cities of New York, San Francisco, and San Jose were lowered, not abolished, but just lowered to closer to something as is average in the United States, the US GDP would increase by $1.6 trillion per year. The losses stem from inefficiencies when people who would otherwise live in these areas due to the industries located there cannot afford to or the companies cannot afford to pay the workers to live there.
Source
Edit: For comparison, this is roughly the size of the Canadian GDP.
http://faculty.chicagobooth.edu/chang-tai.hsieh/research/growth.pdf
Grr, goddamn the power of political authority and the stupidity and ignorance of the vast majority of voters. We could have had actual megacities at this point, far greater economic powerhouses and a more concentrated population, bringing numerous benefits, if it weren't for those meddling governments. -
2016-02-06 at 5:50 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionThanks for making me aware. Missed that thread. Hydro's been emailing me, which I enjoy, but I didn't know this had become public.
§m£ÂgØL has fucking problems. I said long ago that he should be receiving serious intensive care, being treated for schizophrenia, because the outcomes are much better the earlier there's intervention. Now with an event as stressful as this it wouldn't surprise me if it triggered a psychotic episode. Not kidding, if you know about §m£ÂgØL's history of symptoms, how long this has been developing/progressing, and have a rough understanding of schizophrenia, there's a very good chance something's going to happen. Based on what I know, my perception/analysis, he's a liability at this point, and could be a threat to himself or others.
At least if he's involuntarily committed and placed on psychiatric hold he'll finally receive the diagnosis and treatment he needs, whether he wants it or thinks he needs it or not (*gasp!* Oh crap, am I becoming an authoritarian/paternalist?).
I also seem to be able to handle alcohol well enough, thought I didn't have the genes for it the last time I tried it. Was pounding back (not really, just wanted to use that term) vodka at night about 4 days in a row, ending yesterday. Going to take a break to prevent problems from tolerance/dependence, withdrawal/rebound, and health (NAC or sublingual glutathione beforehand and milk thistle afterward are great for harm reduction). Worked up to about 1-2 cups of 30% over a few hours. I have no idea how that compares to standard amounts usually drunk for recreational purposes. -
2016-02-05 at 11:26 AM UTC in As long as this website exists "sophie" will not kill itself
There is no figurative preticipation of lolled combinated with "literally"
because when you lol its an acronym for laughing out loud
you cant figurately laugh out loud
isnt your IQ 160?
they lied to you
"Preticipation" isn't a word, sploo. -
2016-02-05 at 7:40 AM UTC in As long as this website exists "sophie" will not kill itself
All the time man.
Oh, Sophie... -
2016-02-05 at 7:39 AM UTC in I CAN SING