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Posts by Malice
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2016-03-06 at 7:52 AM UTC in UpdateSounds like you could use some money. Hypothetical situation: Heroin is extremely cheap in your country. If there was a foolproof way to mail it, with no risk on your end, would you be morally against it or adverse for another reason? This would be a situation where you would locate a good wholesaler, have a sample mailed to be tested: http://energycontrol.org/international.html
buy a kilo with money transferred to you (If you're the kind that thinks you would or thinks they could easily get away with running away with it, people you care about would be located as targets to kill as collateral; there's no excuse for something like this, it doesn't just happen, you have to consciously make that decision.), prepare it for delivery, and then simply mail a package.
Compared to how much you currently earn and the cost of living, the equivalent of a days work could get you a month or two's salary. -
2016-03-06 at 7:04 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionhttp://southpark.cc.com/clips/150661/calamine-bath
Oh, thank god, it's in stock nearby: http://www.target.com/p/aspercreme-lidocaine-pain-relieving-creme-2-7-oz/-/A-16836627
May end up using Orajel to make it easier to fall asleep. -
2016-03-06 at 6:46 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
Damn, $40/lb? I was just planning to hunt these for fun after this rainy period (got a lot for this area today), adds another element to wandering around regional parks/wilderness areas.
Also, tried rubbing a mixture of cayenne pepper and water, even added a bit of rubbing alcohol for possible solubility and increased penetration or irritation, then took the pure powder and rubbed it on my poison oak areas, still felt nothing. Read this is one of the treatments, they sell cream with capsaicin for arthritis pain, which burns at first, but then acts as an anti-inflammatory and subdues burning afterward. I was really disappointed, thought it would be a fight fire with fire thing, intense burning followed by relative relief.
I've had the repeated urge to slice my skin open in hopes of draining any irritant (wouldn't actually do this). I need a good topical anesthetic, someone send me some cocaine to rub into my arms.
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2016-03-06 at 2:15 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
Everything failed to subdue me. Soon everything seemed dull: another sunrise, the lives of heroes, falling in love, war, the discoveries people made about each other. The only thing that didn't bore me, obviously enough, was how much money Tim Price made, and yet in its obviousness it did. There wasn't a clear, identifiable emotion within me, except for greed and, possibly, total disgust. I had all the characteristics of a human being - flesh, blood, skin, hair - but my depersonalization was so intense, had gone so deep, that the normal ability to feel compassion had been eradicated, the victim of a slow, purposeful erasure. I was simply imitating reality, a rough resemblance of a human being, with only a dim corner of my mind functioning. Something horrible was happening and yet I couldn't figure out why - I couldn't put my finger on it.â€
This is what I've been feeling lately. Greed and disgust. At the end of the audiobook there was an interesting interview with the author, where he called it the most autobiographical novel he had ever written, based on his experiences in Los Angeles, except for the violent acts and desires. -
2016-03-06 at 1:23 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition*someone sees me weighing out my absurd combination of nootropics/supplements/drugs/pharmaceuticals*
"What are you doing?"
Me: "The most important meal of the day."
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/c...eatments_that/Another episode many years later: my gf at the time and I were hiking in the Berkeley Hills, when we met a woman with a dog romping through fields of bright red leaves of poison oak. I asked if she got poison oak from touching her dog. She told me that she had developed immunity by taking a tiny piece of poison oak and swallowing it every day. My gf had to try right then and there. I was terrified, but decided to try anyways, and did not get the expected irritation to my throat. But I didn't go further in attempting to develop immunity.
Definitely trying this. Fortunately the poison in poison oak/ivy is an oily substance and allegedly can last for years, so I can gather some and it should last me a long time. Put a bit in capsules. My right arm is so inflamed it feels like I constantly have a pump like from weight lifting. Feels kind of nice, actually, aside from the horrible itching and pain. Makes me want to lift weights again so my body always feels that, powerful, full of power.I am now amongst the ranks of the gainfully employed.
It's all over now.
What happened Casper? You used to be cool. You had potential, drive. Sure, you pissed it away and came away with nothing to show for it and a decade of self-destruction, but you still did it, you made the money.
But, really, what's the job?
And also, for the love of fuck's sake, let me fix you. You're already taking methadone and were/are using an absurd amount of drugs, you regularly order things online, or did, do you really not see how absolutely fucking ridiculous it is to try a few key things, that don't even cost much or have much, if any, risk, that could make a massive difference in your quality of life? What do you think being on heroin, at as high a dose as you were using, for as long as you were, does to you? Do you remember when I mentioned opioid induced androgen deficiency and how your symptoms perfectly line up with it (Because that's what happens! Cause and effect!). Not to mention them myriad of other problems. And did you sign up for this and take the CES-D test? www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/testcenter
Problems with maintaining concentration are a common symptom of depression ("I used to be smart", you once said. No doubt what you've done to yourself has caused massive damage, but who knows hoe much can be salvaged.) Do you remember the long posts, epic stories and funny, witty, comments, you used to make, and how eventually they grew less and less common, so much shorter, how you lost the energy to write and even read? Those are standard symptoms of depression! I don't give a shit if you tell me you don't feel that depressed or think x will fix it, it will just take a little y, take 5 fucking minutes to sign up and take the fucking CES-D test and tell me your goddamn score, private! This has been a recurrent theme that has pissed me off about you crowd, it's as if you don't want to get better (although some of you have taken smalls steps over the years, like T-PAIN), you don't see how ridiculous and inconsistent your behavior is (3rd paragraph), won't do something as simple as fucking reading and ordering something online. If you can't do this, end up just sleeping all day regularly, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM THAT NEEDS TO BE FIXED! Honestly, I want to go abusive father on you. The lack of a dad is bound to have fucked you up in some ways, there's so much research on this.
I did it:
I'm gathering the tools I need for recovery.
Getting out regularly to do some hardcore off trail hiking in regional parks, do some edible mushroom hunting (getting some nice rain, looking forward to trying to find chanterelles): http://niggasin.space/forum/better-l...4352#post74352
http://niggasin.space/forum/better-l...3481#post73481
planning to eventually get some HcG, and RAD-140 and start lifting again, maybe throw in some testosterone and an aromatase inhibitor. Even found the perfect opportunity for getting out: http://niggasin.space/forum/better-l...3325#post73325
Raising some capital and have a realistic plan, a goal, to make more money than you ever did, and do it completely alone. Drag myself out of this with no support.
Even been courageous enough to try the most powerful/intense psychedelic of all: http://niggasin.space/forum/better-l...y-to-smoke-dmtOooh malice whatchu cookin
Grandma's secret recipe.;) -
2016-03-05 at 10:55 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionPicked up some goodies. Just part of it, the fun stuff:
California passed a retarded law, which is in the state's nature, banning Naptha (at least in pure form for consumers), but that lighter fluid is 100% naphtha. It's incredibly stupid. Same thing, but otherwise I could also have bought this: http://www.lowes.com/pd_206531-34228...ductId=3024053
Home Depot and OSH are closer. Interestingly, the Lowe's in SF seems to be the only one that doesn't stock that lye product. I wonder if it's due to meth. -
2016-03-05 at 10:48 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
That looks nasty. You're thinking poison oak or something? Knowing the amount of stuff you take have you considered drug allergy/adverse interaction?
No, it's not a drug allergy/adverse interaction. If you saw my style of hiking, you'd understand what lead to this, that it's perfectly reasonable. -
2016-03-04 at 10:38 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionAAAARRGH, IT BURRRNNS! The goggles did nothing!
Damn delayed reaction, I thought I was immune/resistant. Although, hopefully this will help build immunity/resistance. Fortunately I had some good ointment on hand with calamine and pramocaine. That pic is hours after I applied a liberal amount.
I wasn't exaggerating about the kind of hiking I do... -
2016-03-04 at 8:33 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
PMs don't work, y'know. Maybe you can make another address and post it here so I can send you my email to that and you then contact me from your actual one.
Breaking this to avoid search engines.
bukujutsu at the e^^ai! google provides. (never use it anymore, gets flooded with spam). -
2016-03-04 at 7:12 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
Ok, done. Let me know when you are online.
I'm here try PM'ing your email. You can also choose a password beforehand to have encrypted communications. -
2016-03-04 at 10:10 AM UTC in The ultimate way to smoke DMT.Watched the video. I was just gone for 5 minutes. Laying on my back, not making noises, some eye opening and movement, minor head movement. Damn it, why the fuck did I release the rest of the bag? I should have gone for round two at a lower dose after 10 minutes. Then again, after a DMT trip that intense, that generally isn't what you're thinking about.
There tends to be this thing I've noticed that when you're in that state (state dependent memory) it all comes back. "Of course, this is what happens. How could I forget?" If I can prolong it and take a milder trip, just enough to breakthrough so it isn't so intense (You can just be bombarded with so much, you just can't remember it, and it's so far from ordinary reality, ordinary states of consciousness), maybe I'll remember what happened this time.
I feel completely normal. I could stay up a bit more, but I don't really have anything I want to do. It's late and I should get some rest. -
2016-03-04 at 9:45 AM UTC in The ultimate way to smoke DMT.I definitely just broke through.
This was the sound I chose to play during it, once it began. It was perfect.
I chose 85mg, about the last I had. Using the techniques I mentioned above, preheating it at a low temperature with the heat gun to melt it to an oily state, I only needed less than half the dose. I think I broke through in one hit. The temperature I used was too high, so the vapor was harsh. Will remember that next time.
It was so intense I can't remember anything. I took some PRL-8-53 and bacopa beforehand to help with retention and counteract the amnesiac effects of etizolam, which I used to remain calm and help with "letting go", along with phenibut FAA, all sublingual, with vinopectine to greatly increase absorption.
Hopefully it will come back to me. I recorded the session, interested in seeing what happened.
It will probably be at least 5 days until the next time I can try. Next time I'll use a lower dose, this was so intense I just couldn't bring anything back. Hopefully some fragments will return. It wasn't frightening at all, I'm just left wondering, "What the hell just happened?" Definitely need to return, there may have been something incredible there.
Surprisingly I feel so much more grounded and normal than my sub-breakthrough dose yesterday. Maybe some of it will return in my dreams. I've mentioned that NSI greatly increases the vividness of them, and bacopa also has this effect, along with a positive effect on memory. -
2016-03-03 at 10:36 PM UTC in The ultimate way to smoke DMT.https://wiki.dmt-nexus.me/Changa
Using a RIMA (reversible inhibitor of MAOI-A) is a good idea, it prolongs and extends the trip, allows you to get more out of it, bring more back, considering how fast and intense standard DMT is. Tea would work, but what would be most effective would be extracting the harmala alkaloids (very easy to do, google it) and using them sublingually before vaping the DMT.
From what I've read Mimosa is superior. Confusa contains about half NMT, another alkaloid, which alters the trip. The extraction also requires a defatting step, which can be skipped with mimosa according to the Max Ion tek.
Mimosa became somewhat difficult to acquire beginning a few years ago, but this source seems to be the main one recommended. Stupid Noob personally vouched for him: www.mimosahostilis.com.mx -
2016-03-03 at 7:57 PM UTC in The ultimate way to smoke DMT.
Interesting, nice handwriting, mine is like two times worse and really chaotic, i wonder what our handwriting says about us.
https://www.google.com/search?q=asperger%27s+handwriting
http://www.2enewsletter.com/article_2011_05_dysgraphia.html
Twice as bad, that must be terrible. My horrible handwriting was regularly noted throughout school. Could be a sign of poor motor skills, autism spectrum related issues, or just never giving enough of a shit to really practice. There's also the issue of everything being typed now.i made one of these exact same things for weed and posted about it like a year and a half ago, you thief
I made this a long time ago. I wonder if you got the idea from me, I definitely posted about it. I actually made it for weed originally.
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2016-03-03 at 9:09 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionNice, but watch this.
3000 even, trips with zeros, even multiple of thousand. What do you think? -
2016-03-03 at 8:21 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionWatching American Psycho helps calm me down. If, like most people, I had had to get a job in retail, customer service, or some other line of work that involves significant human interaction, particularly with the common man. I suppose welfare does save lives, even if it helped destroyed my own by enabling a destructive lifestyle.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Economics/comments/48o61l/sports_authority_files_for_bankruptcy_to_close/
May be a good time, eventually, to hit them up for some high end gear. May have done it before. -
2016-03-03 at 6:42 AM UTC in How many people here actually have Autism?Take the test: http://www.wired.com/2001/12/aqtest/
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2016-03-03 at 6:41 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionJesus fucking christ I hate dealing with people. This is why I put off selling things and tend to just hold on to them.
That aside, I would do great in marketing if it was something that involved minimal human interaction, a behind the scenes sort of thing. Should make a nice bundle from these sales.
Papa needs a drink. -
2016-03-03 at 5:51 AM UTC in The ultimate way to smoke DMT.Took it for a test drive with 50mg. Easier to post the notes I took afterward:
Seems I need a larger than normal dose, which may have something to do with being on the autism spectrum. I may have seen mentions of this before, people with Asperger's being able to handle higher doses, not seeming clearly under the influence like others do, problems with "letting go" (makes sense). I definitely got through to a "place", but it wasn't a total reality replacement where eyes being open or closed didn't make a difference or I lost awareness of reality. 75mg was the dose I used the only time I broke through.
Also recorded myself to see how I handled it, whether I made any strange noises (didn't). Did it naked lying in bed under the covers, seems like a good way to do it. Also prepared for it by finishing Evangelion, after watching EoE, and purifying my body (peeing and pooping, enema). I don't like not breaking through, it feels strange to come back having known only that you need to come back with more next time. -
2016-03-02 at 9:37 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
I'll have to set one up first. What's the savest service? We should use that. I'm all ears, though.
Tutanota, I did my research, and this is among the best, unless you want to go something TOR based: www.tutanota.com