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Posts by Malice

  1. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Doubt it'll be worse than this. May as well take a chance if you're essentially terminal, or at least likely to greatly suffer for the rest of your life. Fortunately it's the amygdala, and you're really only affecting a tiny portion of your brain, so I'm not too worried.

    And, yes, the pharma/mental health care system is fucked up everywhere. The Nordic countries actuallly have the highest per-capita rate of antidepressant use for those who blame America's system. It's human stupidity.
  2. Malice Naturally Camouflaged




    Oh, Stanhope's an anti-natalist? "And that's why I drink." You know, I may take drinking back up again, just once a week.
  3. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Lanny, please do. He can be an asshole and hate my choices, sex, and child, but I really do like reading his posts. I genuinely hope he is alright. He might have finally checked himself into the lunnybin.

    I started reading TRT from the start. Last year Countblah was still bitching about his MIL, Malice was telling PoC to meet and make friends with punks, and sploo was trying to get high off Parkinson's medication. Where is Blah anyway? Oh, and malice was bitching at 1337 to post pics of butch's pink hair and lecturing him on why she should have an abortion since they were trying for a baby. Where the fuck is he, while I'm on it? Nigga, my number is the same when we last talked- you should call or text or something, nigga.

    I'm alive. Sorry for telling you to kill yourself, Hydro, I later thought about my own extreme isolation and remembered the times you said it was the only thing keeping you going, why you would feel such reluctance to giving it up. You still should never have had it and are honor bound to dedicating yourself to insure it experiences as little suffering as possible. Contrary to the "environmentalist" (as opposed to hereditarian) nonsense that's repeatedly been spouted, these are not the most important years and except in cases of serious abuse of malnutrition will likely have no statistically significant impact in long-run outcomes. I do think you should prepare to give it up for adoption within a few years, for the sake of both of you, and will be incredibly selfish if you don't (and keeping him is about your own selfish, attached and dependent, emotions.)
  4. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    The Forest and the Trees: Distortions and Adrift Cycles in Autistic Modes of Thought.

    Not a real book. Just something that crossed my mind after the thought of the overwhelming complexity of the human brain, even specific disorders.

    Handle it piece by piece. It being prevented from having occurred is no longer possible, there can be many manifestations and future treatments may only work before a certain age. The secondary statement is represented by this pertinent finding: http://mentalhealthdaily.com/2014/09/18/genetic-clusters-suggest-schizophrenia-is-8-distinct-diseases/

    Imagine going so far as a to lesion or completely remove the right amygdala. (Fight/fight, fear response, processing of negative emotion), remove certain sections (measured in cubic cm), or the removal of the whole being the most extreme option. A strong and clear link having been repeatedly been found with autism spectrum disorders, enlarged and overactive.

    www.google.com/search?q=gamma+knife+surgery+amygdala

    Hehehe, oh the wonderful world of medical tourism. How lovely it is that it's been available for quite some time, with reports from people receiving it specifically for anxiety disorders.

    Actually eliminate, or at least greatly reduce, the ability to experience the emotion of fear. I came to the realization during the trial of suffering in my life (post mental-breakdown about 2-1/2 years ago until present) that it had really been the principle and most destructive force in my life.

    This would be a good starting point, and it's actually non-invasive. Relatively affordable as well. Not exactly speculative or risky. And what fascinating literature there is. Can't say a version of me quite literally incapable of experiencing fear shouldn't be extremely worrying for others, though.
  5. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Makin some good money now, so I've reinstalled my internet service. I'd check in more often if this shitty site wasn't so fucking slow.

    For anyone having trouble paying for internet service: Check if you have any xfinitywifi hotspots open, the ones that if you log into it redirects you to a page to sign up. If not in range of your computer's wifi, walk around the neighborhood with a smartphone.

    Then buy this. Don't be intimidated, you aren't even hacking. Super easy to install and set-up: http://store.rokland.com/products/alfa-awus036nh-usb-adapter-16-dbi-yagi-antenna-5m-lmr-200-extension-cable

    Look up guides on how to mount a yagi antenna. I have mine attached to a length of 3/4 inch diameter PVC pipe, I bought a few from Home Depot and cut them into segments for a project years ago. I attached the end of the antenna to the top of it using zip ties and what looks like duct tape, possible wrapped around something, to make a wedge.Then I also attached the PVC pipe to the bars on my window using zip ties. This makes it super easy to adjust, rotate, raise, I can even lower the zip ties to remove the yagi completely if need be. To get the yagi perfectly horizontal, you can use an app on your phone or one of these old timey things: https://www.google.com/search?q=bubble+level

    For the cable, which is pretty long, I just pried up a corner of my window screen upward, then outward with a screwdriver, then wedged it there to keep it in place and passed the cable through it.

    Last, in some places you can just spoof your mac address with the first two characters 0A, 0E, 02, or 06 followed by zeros for the rest, and one of them might allow you to log on indefinitely for free, but it isn't guaranteed and may eventually stop for good, or even come back after a while changed (It's 0E here now).

    Best would be to buy an xfinity wifi account on betabay for $5 so you can use it easily wherever (There are tons of them, depending on where you live (i.e. not bumfuck middle of nowhere)), even a map with locations for each one, because it would suck to have the spoof trick go out and be stranded. You get 3 names and passes, and a replacement for life (Well, until the vendor is still around).

    I'm not going to hold your hand anymore. If you're too fucking stupid to figure out any of this, including the darknet/bitcoin part or are too much of a pussy to use it even after doing your research, or are too goddamn lazy to read (This alone is TL;DR for most you drug addled morons), FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID FUCKING FUCK!
  6. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Use MS Paint or something to draw me a picture of what this would look like. Thanks.

    Yes, it's possible. Here's a video: http://gfycat.com/MammothMasculineBirdofparadise

    Here's a guide: http://autoanal.com/self_anal.php
  7. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Lanny, any pleasure/utility experienced by a child fulfills a need/desire that had no need to exist. Nobody has ever been hurt by non-existence. Why is it so hard for non-anti-natalists to grasp and accept this concept?

    What's your viewpoint of the endgame of utilitarianism, to create a universal (perhaps even trans-dimensional) utility monster? There are so many critical problems that will build when attempting to model it to a full (based on human limitations and pragmatism) theorem that retains consistency that it's simply absurd.

    Although I'm not saying every bit of utilitarian philosophy should be abandoned, but my god can you be autistic about these matters.
  8. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Did a search for "do pastors have to report suicide" and came across this: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=536737

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seal_of_the_Confessional_(Catholic_Church)

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priest%E2%80%93penitent_privilege#Legal_precedents_in_various_states

    It would be nice to vent about how fucked up I am, my realistic prospects, and that I may (may, but now now) want to commit suicide. Just put out the worst of the worst, and it is among the worst in certain ways, things normal people couldn't imagine. The common depiction of sitting side by side in a traditional confessional, your face obscured, is very appealing.
  9. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    I'm like "Nigga slow your mothafuckin roll", rolled down my window and yelled "TEAM ROCKET BITCHES!! PROTECT YA NECK IM COMING BACK STRAPPED!!" and did a hand motion like I'm shooting out the window.

    You probably made their day. :)
  10. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Becoming a vegan because you genuinely have a passionate hatred of life and whose final goal is to end it as we know it (and replace it with AI), being able to defend it with sound and extensive reasoning (You haven't seen anywhere near the limits of how much I could aspie rant.), amuses me. I really don't feel much concern for the suffering and death of the animals, meat is the most delicious and nutritious tasting food to me.
  11. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Translation: He's a total fag. Fuck the bees and the cows and the fish, they exist to make my tea sweet, give me a cold glass of milk in the morning a nice steak at dinner or sushi should i desire it. How is this fair? It isn't but life sucks and then you die. The cosmic die cast me to be a human, too bad lesser animals. Except for cats, cause i get value other than nutrition from them. They are lucky like that.

    That wasn't what my focus. I just thought it would be badass to have that over your grave, particularly during his era, culture generally having become less conservative/restrictive and more secular (honor thy father and mother), put less emphasize on family/clanship, nepotism, etc. and the allowed circumstances of parents to kill their children. Unfortunately he didn't get his wish. Having being a popular poet and intellectual, one of the greatest of his era, it would have been wonderful to have had people visit his grave and ponder the meaning of it, anti-natalism having been so far from common knowledge, with lack of access to education and the printing press.

    It would have been anti-natalist glory.



    Although I am considering adjusting my diet to a modification of veganism. One start is to replace my omega 3 sources (salmon, sardines) with mussels (clams). Bivalve veganism (For the love of god Lanny, if you haven't figured it our by now, stay away from nearly all vegan/vegetarian sources for information about this except the very few hardline rationalist ones.).

    The original article that started the debate: http://www.slate.com/articles/life/f...he_oyster.html

    Good overview: https://sentientist.org/2013/05/20/t...s-and-mussels/

    https://sentientist.org/2013/06/15/oystersmusselspt2/

    Nice amount of omega-3: http://www.seafoodhealthfacts.org/se...-and-shellfish

    If there was consumer available artificial beef; well, hell, why stick to that, the tastiest red meat; I would eat it. Unfortunately I'm almost certain they'll fuck it if they can by messing with the nutritional profile. I hope this proves too difficult or raises the cost too much. God, I swear, if the government mandates it...It's things like this that give me an urge for a black and gold jihad.

    Beef liver is another worry, and the market isn't large enough, making it unlikely until the tech develops and cost drops until pretty much everything is replaced. It's just astoundingly nutritious. It would be one hell of a challenge to ethically harvest enough for a shelf-life and freeze dry it.

    What made me think of this was someone in r/natalism mentioning something along the lines that by purchasing animal products you lead in part to their reproduction, often without consent via artificial insemination in mass operations. I already don't care much about food and if you recall my diet, the replacement wouldn't be much of a burden at all.

    Oh, I nearly forgot about insects! Although this would require research, I'm wary of the composition, and possibly bulk dried import. It could be a replacement for beef.
  12. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Where did you see this? I was planning on posting it yesterday. For those too lazy to do a simple google, yes, it's real.
  13. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Ah, RisiR, that reminds of a post I may have some time ago. Implants for MMA. Fore example, cushioning the chin, the head or at least certain parts of it, adding or possibly replacing parts of the bone with plates over knees, elbows, the knuckles and segment of finger below them until the joint.

    It makes me wonder if they test for this and if you could get away with it. For example, with cushioning, we have materials whose force absorption properties are strong enough, although this may require some replacement, that superficial aesthetics wouldn't seem odd. All sorts of faces in the world, just look at "Bigfoot" Silva (He has gigantism from a pituitary tumor). But, about the gel, x-rays are the main thing you'd need to worry about, and it's possible it could bear enough resemblance to human tissues to be overlooked. Not familiar enough with x-rays.

    It's just so obvious, in a way, and with medical tourism, the option of anonymity, the costs would easily be affordable. The advantage would be enormous. Main thing to be careful with is which parts you hit and with what force. Notice too many fractures or breaks and someone may suspect something. Of course KOs are to the head, just don't kill them, and if you add the benefits of something like phenibut, which makes me hyper-aggressive and can eliminate the fear response, you'd need to be even more careful.
  14. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Hahaha, god bless you §m£ÂgØL impersonator.
  15. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    My father has perpetrated this crime against me; I am guilty of none.
    Author: Abul ʿAla Al-Maʿarri, Arab Socialism
    Description: Al-Maʿarri is said to have wanted this verse inscribed over his grave.

    Harsh.

    Interesting guy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al-Ma%CA%BFarri

    Summary: Lived during the Islamic Golden Age, became blind at 4, philosopher, writer, considered one of the greatest classic Arab poets. Also against religion, a rationalist skeptic, ascetic, anti-natalist, even became a strict vegan.

    www.thenailthatsticksup.com/2010/12/09/the-wisdom-of-al-maarri

    I No Longer Steal From Nature

    You are diseased in understanding and religion.
    Come to me, that you may hear something of sound truth.
    Do not unjustly eat fish the water has given up,
    And do not desire as food the flesh of slaughtered animals,
    Or the white milk of mothers who intended its pure draught
    for their young, not noble ladies.
    And do not grieve the unsuspecting birds by taking eggs;
    for injustice is the worst of crimes.
    And spare the honey which the bees get industriously
    from the flowers of fragrant plants;
    For they did not store it that it might belong to others,
    Nor did they gather it for bounty and gifts.
    I washed my hands of all this; and wish that I
    Perceived my way before my hair went gray!
  16. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Haha, I thought that was a joke. It really is a headline.
  17. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Lanny, reflect on this: You've stated you've suspected you may have a form of (mild) ADD (There's actually an overlap between this and the autism spectrum (ASD=Autism Spectrum Disorder, remember that if you haven't already, deshi.), both in terms of comorbity and even genetics. Sorry to keep bringing it up,I'm not doing to annoy you, it's just true and relevant.) that you've managed to control/channel well.

    Well, this in particular requires reflection: Do you or have you had a long-standing habit of putting things off/procrastinating, sometimes for, from a rational viewpoint, an absurdly disproportionate amount of time (maybe dropping the adverb "absurdly")? Not critical things, but things that are minor inconveniences, whose effects aren't only borne by you, but dispersed, out of sight? Yet you know that the disutility of fixing them is far less than the aggregate disutility from ignoring it?

    Or, let's be honest, is this site just not worth caring that much about and is pretty much "good enough"?
  18. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Oh, Enter, I came across something that reminded me of you when I first read this thread!
    http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/

    As you can see from the gray line, women rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium. Very harsh.

    You know what I say, biological reality is an ugly thing.
  19. Malice Naturally Camouflaged




    He, he didn't actually say that, Rick did from Rick and Morty (never seen it).

    That said, I finally went to the post office and now have my collapsible and adjustable cane.







    Added the patch for my amusement, particularly given the intended use. Also acts as a good ice-breaker, a trinket; commonly recommended in good books on improving interpersonal interactions/relationships.

    Transfer to another branch, male psychiatrists only, younger the better (chain of negative effects that generally occurs with time). I instantly realized every mistake I made with my current p-doc and should have bailed earlier, but, depression and suicidality.

    Invisible disabilities. This is simply an attempt to counteract the vast amount of cognitive biases the overwhelming majority of people have.

    "I want more life, fucker."

    Also have these, which I'm going to try to use to make custom eartips: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003A28OW6
    Triple flanged have great noise reduction and fidelity properties, particularly with the right kind of silicone adhered to bottom flange, not covering the central hole of course (stabbing it so it compresses more comfortably ameliorates the following problem to some extent), but can be uncomfortable over long periods of time. I think something with a wider opening, using this adhered to it to keep it in the optimal position in the ear canal (this makes a very large difference and physiological differences can leave some out of luck) along with providing an external noise reduction superior to triple flanged, as opposed to requiring on a proper size to form a seal with standard tips, which doesn't stay in place very well. Other than that, Comply foam tips still seem to be the standard recommended product.
  20. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    VHEMT Although I almost always prefer hardline extremist choices, so I’d drop the V. Same for AI/singularity, you don’t get a choice.

    Lanny, yeah, that anti-natalism argument is critically flawed.

    As for women, dig beneath the surface of what are generally considered some of mankind’s best qualities and you can easily argue they’re actually among the worst, or at least contain great demons.

    That isn’t specific to women, but there’s a very good reason I call myself an archetypal misogynist.
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