Posts by The Self Taught Man

1. 2016-03-15 at 1:11 AM UTC in What's your thank: post ratio?
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   How can boobyverse be pre thanks if you have 2?.

   
   Retrospective thanks.
2. 2016-03-15 at 1:05 AM UTC in Did you ever steal anything from your high school?
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   In elementary school I stole toy soldiers from projects because they were dank. In middle school, 8th grade, I tricked some kid into going into the bathroom to "find a dollar", but then I stole his trumpet mouthpiece because I figured I could use it as a bowl to smoke salvia. Then I had my friend give me 100$ for "computer parts" to buy salvia and MXE but my uncle took it away. Then in highschool I got someone else to give me 60$ for computer parts while I was high on benzedrex.
3. 2016-03-15 at 12:53 AM UTC in What's your thank: post ratio?
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   I will now demonstrate that my Timeless δ still gives me a higher poster value and that I am less forum codependent.
   
   Let us compare on the whole our 4 most active accounts on this forum. Your first was The Boobyverse X = X 1 = 0 and your second the holy ghost. My first was thelittlestnigger and my second is Kek.
   
   The math for OP:
   
   The Boobyverse X = X 1 = 0
   Posts: 643
   Thanks: 2
   
   the holy ghost
   Posts: 1294
   Thanks: 132
   
   1294 + 643 = 1937 posts
   132 + 2 = 134 thanks
   This gives you a Timeless δ of 14.46. Remember this is True Timeless δ since it takes into account all possible variables and combinations of the sum of all possible Situational δ
   
   Now for me:
   
   thelittlestnigger
   Posts: 988
   Thanks: 114
   
   Kek
   Posts: 433
   Thanks: 136
   
   988 + 433 = 1421 posts
   114 + 136 = 250 thanks
   This gives me a Timeless δ of 5.68.
   
   You see if we account for your True Timeless δ we find that your poster value objectively decreases even though you have spent more time on the forums and made almost 500 more posts than I have. This objectively proves that you are 1. a low value poster and 2. more forum codependent.
   
   [SIZE=24px]LOW
   O
   W[/SIZE]
   
   [SIZE=48px]VALUE
   A
   L
   U
   E[/SIZE]
   
   [SIZE=72px]SPLOO
   P
   L
   O
   O[/SIZE]

   
   I went to sleep before you posted this, proving I have less forum codependency. Also The Boobyverse X=X 1=0 was pre-thanks like B.C. and A.D.
4. 2016-03-15 at 12:24 AM UTC in Did you ever steal anything from your high school?
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   I stole a good number of poptarts and snacks from the cafeteria (we called it the commons). In freshmen year when jackass was at its height me and some friends planned to steal a device from the physics department. It was something that put voltage through some leads. The plan was to attach it to some nipples and other body parts, film it and enjoy the ensuing keks. During the heist my lookout fucked up and the teacher came in. Luckily I am a fucking baller and he didnt realize I was trying to steal a 15lb device worth over $1000 and I was able to direct him to another part of the room by asking him "homework questions". I also stole hella text books. I still have a geometry, alg 1, american lit, chemistry, Cambridge Latin 1 and 2 and a copy of Wheelocks Latin, psycology and sociology text books. I peruse them from time to time and am glad I kept them.
   
   Other than that I didnt steal much other than information. In high school I was at the height of my computer science ability and would infiltrate the network. I mapped that shit out, found their weak points and generally fucked with the network.
   
   This isnt a stealing story but one time I had an assignment due but I didnt do it because fuck that shit. So what I did was take goatse.jpg and changed the name to something like AMLit Paper.doc. My teacher tried opening it and it said the file was corrupted. Best thing was she sent it to the fucking tech dept who couldnt figure it out either. In the time it took her to actually talk to me about it I finished the assignment and got an A. Maximum keks were had. Funny thing is I had an internship with the tech dept after senior year. Biggest bunch of fucking wads I ever met. These faggots didnt know shit and literally googled how to solve their tech problems. I asked them a very basic question about linux as a media server and they were like "I dont think that is possible". When I looked into it later it was not only possible but there was a distro fitting my exact need. High School IT deptartments are the fucking worst. Literally made me change my desire to study programming and shit to something I thought of as worth while. Nice thing is they were switching out servers for a new one so I got a used server to play around with among other tech shit they were replacing. I wish I stole one of the Lenovos. They had just got some damn nice ones that I would have really enjoyed.

   
   Autism.
   
   I stole some asian girl's humanity by threatening to kill her then stabbing her with a pencil. She gave me lots of candy. Lots of candy.
5. 2016-03-14 at 11:15 PM UTC in is it against the rules for a professor to mandate you to stay after class?
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   I don't know who else to ask and I know a couple of you went to college so here it goes. One of my professors hasn't graded the last 3 programs we've had due, because he wastes our class time by making us watch every person demonstrate their program up front (but without giving them credit; for that he has to go through the code with you one on one). Our class has like 35 students and each program takes him 5-7 minutes to go through the code with you. He keeps saying he's going to grade them and that we can stay after class and get them graded if we want to, but now he's telling us that if we don't have them graded by like 10 days from now, we just get 0's on them.
   
   If I stay to have him grade my programs, I may end up waiting 3+ hours because of all the students who need their shit still graded. And frankly, I don't have time for that bullshit. I have other classes to do homework for, other tests to study for, and a part time job. I'm pretty sure this is against some college rules, if not the law, but I'm not sure which rule or who I could talk to about this. Anyone got any ideas?
6. 2016-03-14 at 10:59 PM UTC in Did you ever steal anything from your high school?
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   yea, test tubes from the chem lab to make meth pipes out of lolz
7. 2016-03-14 at 10:58 PM UTC in What character from its always sunny would you be?
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   no one because i dont even fucking drink
8. 2016-03-14 at 10:04 PM UTC in If you had to clean a turd from a bathroom sink how would you do so?
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   30% sulfuric and lye
9. 2016-03-14 at 9:57 PM UTC in Did you ever steal anything from your high school?
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Food from cafeteria, 4 2 3 1 on the vending machines lets you into the options menu and I broke a machine once by making it do a maint test. You can also dump coins, slots of product and fuck with prices if its not in lock mode.
   
   Also I used to steal student login keys like 983165012 with password from comp lab master book and log into people I hated accounts like girls and asshole rich kids and print "HEIL HITLER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER" 100 times on all printers with 72 font and waste all paper and ink. Also I would frequently delete all their saved work the day before it was due.
   
   I also was a tagger and drew lots of penises on desks, quotes all over the bathroom and giant cartoon characters like DAN FROM GRIM REAPER GUTTERS I WONT LEAVE UNTIL I MAKE A SALE from aqua teen hunger force​ or a giant weegee
   
   
   I also spray painted cocks, swastikas, pentagrams and the entire opening dialogue to Saints Row 1 on the side of a catholic school "THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU DOIN? JUST BEING CIVIC MINDED IS ALL, IS THAT SO?, YE SOME DUMB ASS CRACKER SHIT ALL OVER THIS WALL I WAS JUST CLEANING IT UP. HECTOR SAYS BUENOS NOCHAS" and certain windows for teachers we hated we would draw arrows and write "MISS CLARK IS A TRANNY BITCH" and point to their room. Piss on all the outside door handles, rearrange letters on billboards, smash bottles.
10. 2016-03-14 at 9:47 PM UTC in If you had to clean a turd from a bathroom sink how would you do so?
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    ^ I just though of that too right when I came to check the reply! When I get a McJob i'm gonna keep a gardening shovel in my locker.
11. 2016-03-14 at 9:45 PM UTC in A contest: What am I afraid of most?
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Smoking crystal meth
12. 2016-03-14 at 9:44 PM UTC in Forgot what thread I wanted to post in
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    This is what amphetamines are for
13. 2016-03-14 at 9:44 PM UTC in How dirty is your toilet?
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    I used to get paranoid on meth and snort lines off the toilet seat and wait for the cops to kick down the bathroom door so i could flush the stash because im convinced i see jackboots and red and blue flashing lights under the crack of the door.
14. 2016-03-14 at 9:42 PM UTC in Forgot what thread I wanted to post in
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    *farts* :-)

    My boy.
15. 2016-03-14 at 9:42 PM UTC in If you had to clean a turd from a bathroom sink how would you do so?
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Im not sure how i'd do it but I know I wouldn't use my hands...even with gloves.
16. 2016-03-14 at 9:40 PM UTC in Legal marijuana is capitalism in its prime
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Taxes ruin everything tho
17. 2016-03-14 at 9:39 PM UTC in My firsthand triangle experience (aka break through to the other tri)
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    CUT ME A TRIANGLE BRO ∆∆∆∆∆∆
18. 2016-03-14 at 9:38 PM UTC in Forgot what thread I wanted to post in
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    *farts* :-)
19. 2016-03-14 at 9:36 PM UTC in Did you ever steal anything from your high school?
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Good on you if you did, lol
20. 2016-03-14 at 9:35 PM UTC in POLL: Am I dead inside?
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Nah, we are buddies.