Posts by The Self Taught Man

1. 2015-06-24 at 6:49 PM UTC in I've never banged a chick without a rubber.
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Alright, I have literally never ever used a condom in my entire life. Because of this, within the first three times I had sex, I fathered a child. Seriously. It was probably the first time that did it too according to her cycle. The next times I didn't need one because well, she was pregnant.
   
   I am NOT looking forward to using a condom. I have used one with my er, sex toy and I can assure you a LOT of sensitivity is lost between your dick and the rubber. That said, it is not worth the risk, it is not worth the stress, it is not worth the 18 years of an unwanted child. I got VERY VERY lucky with my situation but for those of you who will probably not get so lucky, I suggest only raw dogging it with somebody you trust who is on birth control.
2. 2015-06-24 at 6:43 PM UTC in I suggest the removal of the "comment" feature
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Because seriously, that's not how a forum works.
3. 2015-06-24 at 6:31 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Oh shit, what did I do?
4. 2015-06-24 at 6:28 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Is this where we post stuff that's too retarded for the rest of HB?

   
   I guess so, it's more of a thread that serves for a running dialogue of whatever the fuck you want. Usually when you make a thread, there's a topic. TRT has no topic, you just kinda hang out and shoot the shit about whatever the fuck you want. Talk about your new job, or how you need to stop drinking so much, or that new pussy you've been fucking. Whatever you want, really. I currently have nothing interesting going on in my life. I need to find a job so that I can travel to see my kid. I need a real fucking job though, I'm tired of this part time shit and it's difficult for me to find a warehouse gig where I can actually get a ride either that early or that late. If I can just get something that doesn't start earlier than 8 and doesn't end later than midnight, I'll be good.
5. 2015-06-24 at 6:24 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Sieg Heil.
6. 2015-06-24 at 6:23 PM UTC in Your most memorable drug experiences?
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   I'm sure a lot of us have had memorable drug experiences, interesting tales, sensations, thoughts. The exploration of drugs can often be quite the ride, so lets share in the name of entertainment.
   
   A few years ago, I ordered a little stimulant called ethylone. Compared to many other of the 'lones it was pretty fucking tame. It was a buzz, really. Regardless, I had been up on the stuff for about 3 days at this point, my bag was running low. it was nearing night and I figured "Hey, this stuff isn't very strong. Maybe I should just TAKE THE REST" which was about 400mg. About 4 times more than I was taking. I should have known better when my toilet paper parachute broke the first time. I should have known better. "This is too much" I thought. "I'll be fine" I thought.
   
   I was not fucking fine.
   
   At first, it was great. I felt high, I was good, better than the drug had done for me up until that point. I was watching some movie and I was very tuned into the plot. As the night went on, my paranoia went full swing. I became really agitated. Within hours, I was under the cover of my blankets on my laptop, trying to hide the light from my family in case they got up and came into my room to see if I was awake. I was sweating balls in there, it was fucking summer and there I was under the thickest- most light blocking blanket my ass could find. My paranoia worsened. Soon I was afraid for my life. My parents weren't simply just going to bust in at any minute, oh no.
   
   Now they were, apparently, trying to KILL me. But you know, they couldn't just do it like any other murderous parent, they had to hire SHADOW PEOPLE to do it. For those of you who have never at any point in your life, 100% believed in shadow people trying to kill you, I assure you that in the dead of night it is the most frightening thing you can experience. To illuminate my way, I located a flashlight and a laser, which I was blasting around the room trying to find the shadow people, trying to make them show themselves. Of course, they'd always skirt away. I could hear them too, I could fucking hear them threaten me. Tell me how they were going to kill me, why. I was sure the police were involved in my torture at one point. I went and checked on my family, they were all sleeping, but how could this be?
   
   My brother in particular, I was convinced he was in on this. I don't know why, but he was goddamnit. So, I did the only rational thing a person can do in that situation. I swiftly and violently grabbed his foot at 3am while he was dead asleep. He woke up, of course "What the fuck?" "Sorry, I was trying to find the bathroom". And off to the bathroom I went, convinced my plan had been foiled. As the sun started to come up, my paranoia waned and I realized how absolutely absurd the whole situation was. But still, I felt like shit. Utter shit. My jaw was squeaky and raw, I had a hard time eating a simple yogurt. The spoon just barely fit in my mouth. Talking was a pain. Somehow, my family was not alerted to my drug use despite all my ridiculous night time activities.
   
   That morning, we were going to go to chinatown with some other family. Going to one of those buffets with the huge round, spinning tables? Man. It was REALLY hard to eat but thankfully nobody really noticed since we were all eating from the same plates anyway. Still, going into the city made me forget about my shuffles with the shadow people the night before, I started to feel better. For about a month afterwords, whenever I was alone, I would hear whispers, voices, I was convinced my parents were still trying to kill me just about any time I took a shower. I would hear knocking on the door with a policeman on the outside. Which never happened. That fucked me up a lot I think. To this day I have not quite yet gotten rid of that paranoia or the whispers. Just last night I was dealing with incomprehensible whispers. It's an experience that has left me mentally scarred for life. It is one of my most fearful experiences, seldom have I been that scared in my life.
   
   Your turn!
7. 2015-06-24 at 5:59 PM UTC in Update on my dick piercing
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   You are the most unassuming looking person to have a dick piercing, I wonder how many other people have incognito dick piercings that I'd never guess of. You'd think it'd be some rocker dude with a blue mohawk and sleeves of tats who'd do something like this, but no, it's ZANICK, metaphysical bookstore going, noodle eating ZANICK.
   
   The idea of getting my genitals close to any sort of needle makes me shrivel up.
   
   Glad you're happy with it though, and congrats on the new girl!
8. 2015-06-24 at 5:56 PM UTC in Nice Job on the Site Lanny
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   What's the character limit?
   
   And yes, I'm pretty happy you of all people decided to do this lanny.
   
9. 2015-06-24 at 5:52 PM UTC in Subforums that this site needs.
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   I really liked Flora & Fauna from Zoklet, I would occasionally make some good threads in there if anybody remembers. If you make it I'll write up something interesting. I made some shit on sanctuary too, quit halfway into making some on rdfrn but you're the first admin I like so, there we have it.
   
   If I feel up to it, I may write a thread about my whole hitchhiking/threesome with hydro/baby experience. I am daddy now, kind of.
10. 2015-06-24 at 5:49 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Making one of these in case anybody else from trt decides to migrate over.
    
    §m£ÂgØL.
11. 2015-06-24 at 5:46 PM UTC in What's your favorite frozen pizza?
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    There's a place by me that does all their pizzas in a wood burning oven, you can definitely taste the difference. It's fucking phenomenal.
    
    
    That said, this thread is about frozen pizzas. I'm not a big fan of frozen pizza but home run in is the best in my opinion. Crust is alright, cheese is okay, about as good as frozen pizzas get imo.