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Posts by CASPER
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2019-03-21 at 8:16 PM UTC in Malice's Autopsy Report
Originally posted by -SpectraL And I highly doubt he would have just wrote the word: "SUICIDE", on the note. He would have least wrote "CYA LATER ALLΙGATOR", or "AFTER WHILE CROCΟDILE", or some kind of cheery departure notice. Who checks out with a one word post?
Depressed autistic people who prefer to be dead as quickly and unceremoniously as possible. -
2019-03-21 at 8:14 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by mmQ He sure did want to make sure it was known he was far into that spectrum. Pro babbly because if you are adamant you're something it's easier to not do anything to change it. Like my depression. oh I am super depressed like high end of the depression spectrum yeah theres no hope for me
Yeah. I felt this pretty strongly. I think in his mind he was like "THERES AN OFFICIAL DESIGNATION FOR THE THING I HAVE SO DONT JUST TELL ME TO GO VOLUNTEER". If it could be codified, all shit he pored over the internet reading about, and convinced himself of - became fact. -
2019-03-21 at 7:32 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by Octavian
How come it took so long to tell she was a piece of broccoli?
Idk I'd seen her REALLY high before. Like really high. I thought she might be on hallucinogens/dissociatives bc she was so spaced out. For the first couple hours she was at my house, she asked if we could just lay in bed and watch TV, and then she just stared at the ceiling bc she said the tv made her head hurt. I offered to turn it off, but she said "No this.....this is nice."
It wasn't until we got to the restaurant that I realized how fucked up her motor functions were......and the very slight droop on the right side of her face.
Ugh.
And then when she kept having the food drop out of her mouth, it finally kind of clicked,and I started having a panic attack and wanted to throw up. But I didn't want to let her know that I could tell. I didn't want her to use my reaction to gauge how fucked up she was.
Even when we weren't together anymore, I went to the ends of the earth for that girl. Heard she was all strung out in a tweaker house in Lennox, drove over and had to drag her out. She was all twacked out and smoking oxy, unshowered. The house was her, one other Mexican chick and like 5 or 6 other Mexican dudes. For obvious reasons, they didn't want me taking the white girl, so they jumped me as I dragged her to the car by the arm. I didn't know you could break your ear. Lol. She looked furious as we drove off, but didn't try to run away. She didn't say a word for like 30 min while we drove, and then just said "Thanks Trev" and turned on the radio.
Shit broke my heart, for real. -
2019-03-21 at 7:22 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro EditionFor the record this isn't just about Malice. This is a regular TRT, just with the reminder that one of us was so miserable he offed himself.
Now for some memes... -
2019-03-21 at 7:20 PM UTC in Malice's Autopsy Report
Originally posted by mmQ If you're bored go ahead and ask Christians why they scream at some people to burn in hell forever. Ask them how murdering someone viciously in this lifetime makes them deserve ETERNAL TORTURE
. They won't ever have a solid answer that you cant immediately fuck with. "Oh uh well God does the judging god will judge them."
Oh? So shut up.
Because deep down they know that this life is all there is, and when you viciously murder someone here, you've snuffled out their "eternal" soul for good. -
2019-03-21 at 7:19 PM UTC in Malice's Autopsy Report
Originally posted by Octavian I've started comparing any social misfortune I may have with Malice. If I was even half as unsociable as him I think I would have done the same.
Unemployment is so fucking boring though, how he lasted as long as he did is a miracle. What happened, did his benefits stop which compounded his willingness to die or?
I'm sure he mentioned something about his ankles ready to snap. You fags should have sent him pizza money.
I mean I was sporadically (most of time) u employed from like....2008-2016. You just don't do shit. I guess technically my job was chasing down heroin every day, but still....it's pretty easy to do when you're fucked up and depressed.
I still don't remember anything about the ankles. It wasn't so much malnourishment as he "apparently" (as per the quotes from his father in the report) had some kind of musculoskeletal problem with his legs/feet.
I offered to send him stuff plenty of times, but he was so paranoid about someone finding out who he was. And I still can't figure out how he got so bad off financially. I'm sure the money situation compounded things. 3 or so years ago, he said he had like 10k put away from bitcoin/selling those gold coins to the dude at the bar. Welfare paid for his food and housing as far as I know, otherwise. Idk how he went from that to only having $300 left to buy Nembutal.
Anyway...yeah I offered to send him drugs and other care package type stuff a few times (before he hinted that he'd use them to kill himself). He never took me up on it. -
2019-03-21 at 7:05 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country Is she a vegetable or paralyzed or what?
Somewhere in between. She can walk slowly, talk very slowly. Has a lot of trouble feeding herself, going to the bathroom, dealing with lots of activity like TV or loud music. She showed up at my apartment for the first time in like 3 years, and I had no idea anything was wrong. I thought she was just high. Took her out on a sort of "date" at a nice restaurant, and food was just falling out of her mouth. She stopped eating and I had her food boxed to go. Dropped her off at her grandmothers, drove a block away and broke down crying.
Originally posted by inert_observer casper made this thread to purposefully shit on all the other malice threads, what a dick
Lol. There's other Malice threads? -
2019-03-21 at 5:55 PM UTC in BradleyB's Rock Bottom -- Recovery Thread
Originally posted by GGG How was it? I'm thinking about going to a stand up meet up. Maybe try to find some open places to perform.
I mean my delivery was honestly probably dogshit because I'm not great with public speaking. But it's this tiny upstairs black, hole in the wall comedy club. I only had a small amount of time, so I'd didn't do my Bradley bit, but in retrospect I should've because black people think anything about gay people is hilaaaaaarious.
Comedians are generally pretty fucking cool people though. I feel like it's almost like college at this point. I could go to some of the bigger clubs, but a bunch of those people already know each other. Prolly be hard to find "friends" -
2019-03-21 at 5:34 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country The dark haired one? She looks so pretty
Yeah. Besides the big stupid Jackie o sunglasses..... at midnight....in a car. Lol.
But yeah I had a huge crush on her all through high school. She was kinda Bonnie to my Clyde. When she ended up moving into my moms house, I was so stoked.
My girlfriend at the time was not so stoked. Rofl.
I think that's the only picture I was able to find of her, anywhere. Just another sad kid, doing stupid shit. -
2019-03-21 at 1:38 PM UTC in BradleyB's Rock Bottom -- Recovery Thread
Originally posted by Grylls give us a teaser
Originally posted by Grylls give us a teaser
I'm 90% sure I've shared it here before at least in its abbreviated form...if u search my posts with Bradley bee in it, should be there.
If not I'll type it up later when I'm not in bed on an ancient, slow iPad. -
2019-03-21 at 1:36 PM UTC in BradleyB's Rock Bottom -- Recovery Thread
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2019-03-21 at 1:33 PM UTC in BradleyB's Rock Bottom -- Recovery Thread
Originally posted by Methuselah You do standup??
I did 4 minutes at a little comedy club nearby a year year or two ago, but it was a primarily black club, so wasn't really geared to them. Mostly I'm just hammering out a set bc I've always been an okay writer and actor, and it's one of the handful of things I think I'd be pretty good at. Not to mention that drug addicted, fucked up, angry, cynical , introspective introvert is totally my MO, along with like 90% of comics. -
2019-03-21 at 1:30 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by Octavian Everyone are masters of their own fates, and captain of their destinies. Don't beat yourself up. Just accept what was, know what is, and have faith in what will be my friend.
Yeah I suppose if we all obsessed about and traced back every connection, the butterfly is responsible for the tsunami. But actions also have consequences, and it's sometimes uncomfortable how much power our words can have. -
2019-03-21 at 1:26 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by Methuselah Is she the chick next to 17 y/o you in that pic?
Also Malice was going to kill himself no matter what. I literally called it multiple times. I know exactly what was going through his mind because I’ve felt it before too, the meaninglessness of it all, but the only difference is my survival instinct is much stronger than his. I would pretty much do anything to stay alive
Yeah. That was her. -
2019-03-21 at 1:17 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by Common De-mominator CASPER are you turning into a whore
Well then I'm on the right track.
Originally posted by GGG Nigga, the mere fact that you wrote this tells you that Malice was already going down the path he took. He was posting about suicide A LOT, like almost every post. Could you have not written that, and maybe said more to help him? Probably. But would it have mattered?
Originally posted by Octavian Yeah like GGG just said he'd probably have just picked another day to do himself in.
Originally posted by DietPiano he bought the pento shortly after I showed up and started talking sense to him. I remember that I initiated the convo and you hopped in with me on that ride for quite awhile. Then you left and he got deep deep deppy and drank the purple powerade.
take a fraction of the blame with me if you want, but as with every suicide it's a humungo, premeditated concept for the viccy.
I know it wasn't like "my fault", but that was just so uncharacteristic of me. I thought he was doing the faggy victim cry for help thing.....but I guess he was in more pain than even I knew.
I honestly didn't even remember I said that, and just knowing what I know now, I really regret it.
I know he got his drugs a week or two before, but I don't think it's entirely coincidence that he checked out as soon as I/we started getting agitated at his constant talking about it.
I mean I still think weekly about the girl I let try coke with me when I was 15 or 16. Ended up going off the rails, injecting bath salts, having a stroke- and is now in an assisted living facility. One of the 3 girls I ever really loved, I think.
I just obsess about how the things I've done affect other people. Not to be melodramatic, but I think this one is probably going to stay with me a bit. I don't even remember saying that shit. Then again I DID put in a solid decade of encouragement and talk-therapy, but that's not what sticks with you.
*shrug* -
2019-03-21 at 1:08 PM UTC in BradleyB's Rock Bottom -- Recovery ThreadmmQ is drunk. Excuse him.
Good to see you're doing well, Brad. I wrote a part of my standup routine about you. I think it was pretty hilarious. -
2019-03-21 at 1:02 PM UTC in Has anyone NOT seen the video? Is everyone into disaster porn?
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2019-03-21 at 11:55 AM UTC in Has anyone NOT seen the video? Is everyone into disaster porn?
Originally posted by mmQ My stupid friend won't watch it either. I say hey, just cmon, it's just a thing, I wanna see your opinion. She's NOPE NOPE NOPE. she's better than that and I'll force her to watch it but at the end of the day what do I even care? I dont want her to watch it for any politicalreason, or any reason, other than just wanting her to see it. Idk.
Its not even a good video. The one in that Las Vegas hotel hallway one was way more I furiatikng ingeoguing to me. Yes I spelled those words wrong. Remember that one ?
Where the faggot cop makes the kid play Simon says and then I eventually kills him because he didnt MOVE RIGHT ? SO SAD
Yeah. Dude was some broke ass exterminator, drunk at a hotel, and they had him do all sorts of co tradictory shit. The cop had "YOURE FUCKED" written on the side of his AR15.
We as white people saw the fact that he had a gun and reached to pull up his pants, and collectively said "eh....his own fault."
Meanwhile, any black dude gets shot ANYWHERE- even if he just gunned down two other black dudes- and he gets the BLM/Jessie Jackson/ "march 4 justice" treatment.
This guy? Kelly Thomas? Any of the hundred or so other likely candidates? *crickets*
If that's not racism, nothing is.
Ignoring violence against someone of comparable criminal culpability (i.e. Two different suspects who both hit officers, attacked a civilian, etc), just because you value the welfare and lives of your own race more....I'm not sure what else you could call that. -
2019-03-21 at 3:12 AM UTC in Where is the line between being a junkie and not?
Originally posted by DietPiano does it work pharmacologically to switch from metha to bupe? forgot about which is more competitive.
Bupe has higher affinity, but methadone stays in your system so long, your have to be off it for like a week before taking subs. Which is my case isn't likely. Also partial agonist never felt quite right. Subs to methadone= okay. Methadone to subs= high chance of inducing withdrawals. -
2019-03-20 at 11:26 AM UTC in Malice's Autopsy Report
Originally posted by CASPER Omg you're so boring. Pick a lane motherfucker. Either die or don't. At least get back to talking about weaboo shit or something. I think I speak for everyone when I say that you're like Hydro x 1,000,000 with this suicidal ideation gayeity.
The way I see it, f you want to kill yourself, you do it. You don't talk about it or try to have people talk you out of it. If you're still here, it's because you know there's an opportunity. Fix ur shit.
Ah fuuuuuuuck.
That was not....nice. Or helpful.
*sigh*
I just realized he killed himself when I pretty much got angry and pissed off hearing him talk about suicide all the time.
I left the forum for like 3 weeks and when I came back, his last thread was up.
Was I actually his only friend.
Ugh god this shit just keeps getting more fucking lame.
