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Thanked Posts by gadzooks
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2019-09-23 at 10:08 PM UTC in Penny for your thoughts?Penny for your THOTs.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-09-18 at 8:37 PM UTC in I still hate fat peopleThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-09-14 at 10:29 PM UTC in I got caught masturbating in a public pool, today......
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2019-09-09 at 8:52 AM UTC in I wish that I had Jessie's girlSo this weekend, a few of my friends went camping, but I said no because I'm radically introverted and can't stand long, multi-day periods around other people.
But then one of my friends had car troubles and had to go up a day late, and was ready and willing to pick me up on the way (I live in the boonies so it's always on the way).
Anyway, when they get here, the first thing I notice is my friend's girlfriend's ass in those yoga pants (gnomesayin?).
But I also respect the heck out of her. And of course I respect the heck out of my friend.
His gf and I get drunk during the drive up, then when we get there, we all drink and even do some shrooms. A thunderstorm at a dark beach made it especially interesting.
The next day, we get back into town, and I invite my friend and his gf over for a few drinks.
She literally cleaned my apartment.
Like... I don't know how she does it so efficiently, but every time she comes over (she does this all the time), she just transforms my apartment from a sketchy as fuck trap house into a beautiful zen palace.
I'm so damn jealous, but he is a close friend that I care about and respect, so I'm happy for his happiness.
But damn.
Why can't I find a woman like that? -
2019-09-14 at 9:52 AM UTC in The problem with America is mankind's abject unwillingness to contribute to the delinquency of minorsObscure movie quotes are the only solution.
ITT we share movie quotes towards which probably nobody will know the reference without a Google search.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-09-13 at 6:51 AM UTC in Never forgetI still remember that morning.
It was the 11th grade, but a standard day at the time.
I was sitting in theater education class, when the attendance speaker system started up...
I, of course, recognized the various intonations and mannerisms of our beloved principle, but his voice had taken on a much more serious tone than we were used to.
After a prolonged declamation regarding some aircraft malfunction three timezones away in motherfucking New York City, we all resumed to the typical playfulness of an adolescent schoolday afternoon...
My friend, along with two others in class, and of course myself, adjourned to the shed behind gymnasium.
My one friend unzipped his baggy, yet somehow erotic, low-hanging jeans, and proudly presented his perennially polished penile process.
The rest of us were all, of course, jaws agape, but we were also simultaneously divided firmly down some kind of inter-imposed center...
Do we approach, or do we avoid?
The sheer magnitude, as well as the incontestable likeness, of this fleshy urination device, the rest of having only occasionally fondled until the point of orgasmic euphoria, has us all in figurative shackles.
My one friend, with ginger hair and an abnormally high-pitched voice for our age group, neither child nor adult, but somehow not quite adolescent in its entire essence, reminded us of that mornings' transpirings.
A terrorist act had occurred.
Despite his stern and judgmental demeanor, the rest of us laughed.
To this day, I feel a certain degree of shame.
We thought it but a mere joke, but it was real.
So real.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-09-13 at 6:31 AM UTC in Indians are the niggers of Asia...
Originally posted by bigthink Surrey BC is Ganesh's retribution for British colonialism
Lol, prolly.
In fact, when I started delving into India's history (I took an undergrad class once as an elective on South Asian history), I kinda realized that a lot of the racism against Indians (dot variety - not even trynna touch on that feather variety for now - history is complicated) was a bit ironic.
I used to hear the whole gamut of racist/prejucided assumptions about Indians.
Never ANY about blacks or Muslims or anything else...
Like I said, I grew up in a unique town with a unique history.
But I heard all kinds of things growing up.
And I also witnessed many altercations where literally either party would bring race into the discussion.
It's kind of a fascinating experience, actually.
I've personally witnessed several white-vs-(dot)-Indian fights, but never once any between white and black, or white and asian, or asian and black, etc...
Also, I'm just noticing now that spellcheck is telling me "Asian" should be capitalized, same with "Muslim", but not "black" (or "white" either, for what that's worth).
I guess "white" and "black" aren't proper nouns?
I honestly don't even fully comprehend what's going on right now.
Need another drink.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-09-13 at 6:06 AM UTC in eBagger searches for Cocaine brought in by Dorian on the coastI might be too drunk to parse entirely what this thread is about, and ultimately resulted in...
But it sounds like you saw a news story about sunken treasure of the most seek-worthy kind, and just straight up went for it?
Mad props!
I've seen articles like this in the news, about "lost" drug shipments, and, not gonna lie, my Western-Canadian ass even thought, albeit briefly, about making the trip (it's always Florida waters).
The fact that you went for it...
Maybe didn't find any actual blow?
Still, went for it. Mad respect.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-09-13 at 8:20 AM UTC in People who kiss their dogs on the mouth are abhorrently disgustingOMG I JUST REMEMBERED A CHICK-KISSING-DOG MEMORY...
I had a cousin who did this exact same thing...
I think you might be on to something.
I even remember their tongues rubbing up against each other.
I just thought my cousin was a weirdo, pervert, and all around reprobate...
She is all of those things, though...
...the dog kissing thing just adds another nail in the coffin.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-09-10 at 6:25 AM UTC in Indians are the niggers of Asia...I grew up in a town that's actually MAJORITY Indian.
For some reason, Surrey BC is they home.
They're just like any other culture out there.
Some are assholes, most are decent though.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-09-10 at 5:47 AM UTC in How to destroy some fucknuts.If they're heroin addicts, they've already lost at life.
I'm not much for schadenfreude, but I guess if these folks are legit villains in need of retribution, you can always take a certain degree of pleasure knowing that they are almost certainly going to remain as they are until their own inevitable demise.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-09-03 at 5:33 AM UTC in You ever jerk it three times about the same chick on one day then later run into her?I woke up hungover and still buzzing sometime this afternoon, and tried to Spartan my way through the day time hangover, jerking it a few times (even though after this many times it does absolutely nothing).
Then I realize it's almost 11pm and that I have to make an executive decision about the alcohol question.
So I start walking up to the friendly neighbourhood purveyor of liquors, and I run into T (I'm calling her T).
I slept with her a bunch of times a couple years ago when I moved out to this shit hole.
She's like a decade and a bit older than me, and actually a bigger alcoholic than I am.
But she still got a fine fucking body, and was the first woman I slept with in 10 years, so I kinda got hooked.
She's with these two fucking hoodlums, sipping on a bottle of Bacardi. She offers me a swig, but me, being the world's most ridiculous alcoholic, I can't drink hard liquor without chase (yeah, I know... No need to point out how pathetic that is).
I extend my hand to one of the dudes and introduce myself, and he asks if T used to babysit me...
I see an opportunity to express a mild degree of dominance over these dudes and say "kinda... She's my grandma".
She wasn't too impressed with that, and I kinda felt bad because, despite all her bazillion flaws, she's a nice chick.
She told me to text her, but luckily I had triple power post nut clarity and just "aight maybe later". -
2019-06-05 at 5:40 PM UTC in SUPER HERO POWERSYou ever contemplate what kinda supernatural powers you would like to have?
Yes? No? You'd just like to hear my take on this particular question? Okay, if you insist...
First off, you can't say "ability to do literally anything because then I can just do anything and nobody can stop me so fuck you", I mean some real shit...
Like, would you want to be able to fly? See through walls? Never again cum prematurely? (Hey, they don't have to all be meant for the benefit of all humanity).The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-08-30 at 6:41 AM UTC in I really like DTEI'm Larry btw.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-09-03 at 2:04 AM UTC in Your plans for the Labor Day weekend?
Originally posted by Grylls lets be honest
none of you did fuck all because you're all FUCKING L O S E R S
only mad people will retaliate because you know its the truth
I drank wine and masturbated multiple times... Then drank more wine and continued masturbating.
I can't even tell what day it is, tbqh.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-09-03 at 1:56 AM UTC in It sucks that Juice Box stopped posting...The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-09-02 at 9:26 PM UTC in Gadzooks likes drinking 40 ouncers in dark alleys with niggers..I can't exactly disagree.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-09-02 at 6:26 AM UTC in Hoe long was your longest hangoverHangovers lasting longer than a day are pretty darn rare.
I have been drinking pretty much every single night since ~2003.
I've browned out hundreds of times, full-on blacked out maybe a dozen or so.
But I don't think I've every experienced a multi-day hangover, EXCEPT maybe after I went to a grad+dry-grad (AKA: Prom for Americans, and perhaps elsewhere) back in '02, and we had a limo fully stocked with liquor... I blacked out at the "dry"-grad (irony), and apparently passed out halfway inside the front door at my mom's house.
Apparently my mom and aunt (who was visiting that week for whatever reason) had to carry me upstairs to my bedroom.
I'm pretty sure I remember still feeling the hangover two days later.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-09-02 at 7:42 AM UTC in wanted: HD scat-pornY'all motherfucker(s) need Jesus.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-09-02 at 1:13 AM UTC in This is empowered."breeding fetish"... "quite a few abortions".
For the sake of my own sanity, I'm gonna assume whoever wrote that drivel is trolling.
On the other hand, moronic psychopaths killing off their own potential offspring just for sexual thrills... Maybe society is better off?
Gotta find the silver linings.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
