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Posts by Malice
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2018-03-16 at 2:52 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.Oh, that reminds me. Do you know anyone you can call to "take care" of people or provide "protection" for certain situations?
I want someone like this in my contacts so I can pay them in case anything happens again like what occurred a few months ago when those fucking gang members tried to break my arms, trashed my apartment and stole some things, tried to do something again a few days later (I'm pretty sure they were going to point a gun at me to keep me from running again), then I had an entire gang after trying to kill me for calling the cops on them.
There have been multiple times when pieces of shit were causing serious problems in my life. No more. If you're lenient people simply take advantage of you. I've learned the hard way that you need to take of problems with people immediately and often brutally.
Everyone should have a solid plan just in case someone needs be taken care of. -
2018-03-16 at 2:45 AM UTC in What do you look for in a shoe?
Originally posted by infinityshock the first time you try running across a natural/artificial reef or through a collapsed/demolished structure you'll change your outlook on that real quick
That's different. Different shoes for different situations. Fortunately that's something I never have to deal with. -
2018-03-16 at 2:39 AM UTC in What do you look for in a shoe?Minimalist, I wear nothing else. I highly recommend the Merrell Vapor Gloves. Minimalist shoes solved every single problem I had related to shoes.
Our feet evolved a certain way for a reason. For the overwhelming majority of humanity any shoes we used weren't anything like modern ones. Walking on concrete actually doesn't make that much of a difference due to how cushioning effects the way you land. -
2018-03-16 at 1:51 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.Honestly, it's incredible how dishonest a sizable share of women can be. They literally evolved to superior at social manipulation. Absolutely vile creatures.
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2018-03-16 at 1:49 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.Casper, what if I meet with him and pretend to me an MS-13 member? Imagine how funny it would be. I would love the chance to experience my first fight, it's practically an initiation ritual into manhood.
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2018-03-15 at 9:56 PM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.Jesus christ anime shirts tend to be overwhelmingly awful.
This shirt is fucking sick though. I would definitely wear it.
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2018-03-15 at 9:25 PM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.I just came across the greatest t-shirts I've ever seen. Absolutely masterpieces, art. I think these could win me a lot of friends. What do you guys think?
https://imgur.com/a/TyAPr
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2018-03-15 at 9:17 PM UTC in define your problems#1) I'm sentient.
#2) A lack of benzos.
#3) A lack of dextroamphetamine. -
2018-03-15 at 9:06 PM UTC in Suicidal thoughts
Originally posted by Fox Paws I acknowledge that there’s a lot of fucking delusional people out there and I’d have to be pretty well far gone before I became anything remotely like them. Nothing is meaningful to me. I’m a nihilist. Also love is shit
Have you studied antinatalism? I'd highly recommend reading "Better Never to Have Been" by David Benatar and "Essays and Aphorisms" by Arthur Schopenhauer.
This is likely the best introduction to the latter author.
https://ebooks.adelaide.edu.au/s/schopenhauer/arthur/pessimism/chapter2.html -
2018-03-15 at 9:01 PM UTC in Suicidal thoughts
Originally posted by Fox Paws Because life is hell. Nothing makes me happy like it used to. The last time I felt genuine happiness was probably in my late teens. I’m pretty much in a constant state of deep depression. The only emotion I feel anymore is anger, the rest of the time I feel practically nothing at all. There’s literally nothing keeping me going except for an overwhelming instinct to survive.
Originally posted by Fox Paws I’ve traveled all over the world. I’ve been camping in the Alaskan wilderness, backpacking in Southeast Asia, went on a walkabout in the Australian outback, temples in Tibet. I’ve been all over dude, all it showed me was that the emptiness inside me can never be filled. All I feel is resentment for people who actually think life can somehow be worthwhile, cuz I just don’t see it
This is exactly how I genuinely feel, although I may be recovering.
You make enough to afford it, have you thought about giving transcranial magnetic stimulation a try? It's absolutely fascinating. If I was able to afford it or it was available through insurance I would do so without hesitation. You're intelligent enough to do your own research. This is nothing like standard antidepressant medications and therapy, which I consider absolute garbage (except for MAOIs, but you have to be able to handle the effect on norepinephrine, which I can't). -
2018-03-15 at 8:57 PM UTC in Suicidal thoughtsThere have been multiple times in the past where I've reached levels of dysphoria so severe I was on the verge of calling 911 simply because of how unbearable the suffering was.
It wasn't the same as being suicidal, I use the analogy of being trapped in an apartment that's on fire. At some point the fear of dying from the flames and smoke is so severe that you're forced to jump. I genuinely knew it was going to force me to take action and commit suicide if things progressed. That's how terrifying the feeling was. I was literally maxing out depression rating scales.
I'm feeling much better now, but at least half of my days seem to be bad days. I really wonder whether I may have a mild form of bipolar disorder. -
2018-03-15 at 8:37 PM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.There's a girl in a kimono (she looks really pretty, not that I care) advertising the Japanese culture/anime club outside. Should I go mess with her? I need an answer quick.
I'm thinking about walking by with my phone playing Hitorigoto from Eromanga Sensei.
Another option is to go to her with my laptop and say, "I'm thinking about joining, but in my experience most members of anime clubs tend to be amateurs with poor taste. Do determine whether or not it may be worth joining, I have a simple question: Do you know who this is?"
Then I open my backpack to reveal my Eromanga Sensei wallpaper and point to Sagiri with a pen.
If she knows who it is I'm going to be like, "I've finally found my people."
I just ignored her the first time because I've consistently heard that anime clubs in school tend to be fucking terrible and the people are generally the kind you would never want to be friends with. I also really wish I was wearing a hardcore weeb shirt.
I really need a good anime shirt. Something unique. -
2018-03-15 at 4:44 PM UTC in Rate your physical appearance 1-10HTS, you were actually kind of handsome before you transitioned once you lost a lot of weight.
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2018-03-15 at 5:36 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by GHOSTFACE I need a gay bff in the LA area to help me dress. I feel like a sweaty grizzly bear jammed into a sausage casing.
I have great taste. I wouldn't dress you like I would myself.
I'd highly recommend you get into the designer rep game, the problem is you're just so big and tall nothing from China would fit you. Where do you get your clothes from, Big and Tall? I really don't know where people like you buy clothes that fit well and actually look good, it just seems like your selection is bound to be severely limited. -
2018-03-15 at 5:30 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.You remind me of myself, CASPER. I also feel like I've lost almost a decade of my life. I learned a lot and developed myself in many ways, but I also took incredible damage, broke down so badly, and things could have been so much better. I feel like a mostly empty shell of a human being at this point who's simply tired of being alive and has been for a long time, like the most important parts of my humanity, what would allow me to connect with others and thrive, have just been ravaged. What I ended up realizing the most is just how sad life really is.
I feel like I'm never going to be good enough for the kind of people I'd like to have in my life. That I'm so far behind, isolated, alienated, and different that I'm just destined to be alone and one of the loneliest people to walk the face of this earth. A lot of people end up changing dramatically and finally making it later in life, though. If you manage to become happy in the present, why does your past filled with suffering and sorrow matter? It helps you realize how good you have it when you compare it to your darkest moments.
Originally posted by GHOSTFACE I help a lot of people. But shes pretty much pursued me the entire way. I told her I was still all fucked up and using half the time, and I dont want to be in another sid & nancy relationship. Requiem for a Dream seemed romantic when I was 14 but once youve lived it, its the last thing you want. No… Im not doing any more than Id do for anyone else. I do wonder how clouded my judgement is by the fact that this is the first girl who's shown such serious interest in me in such a long time. The chicks I talk to on a regular basis are often (literally) straight up hookers and might as well be dudes. I dont know. Ive tried everything to avoid this but its just kind of happened. And it feels nice, even though Im a pessimist and I feel like Im opening myself up to some feelsbadman. And like I said Im completely cognizant of the fact that she might just be latching on to the first guy to come around and treat her well.
The girl you were with a long time ago, the one you called your partner in crime, who ended up having a seizure and it just being unbearably sad to see what she had become. How badly did it hurt you?
I'm extremely oversensitive beneath my facade and I'm just incredibly easily and deeply hurt. I think I felt betrayed and rejected by a lot of people in my life and ended up becoming so alienated, was able to realize certain things about the nature of reality, that it made it feel impossible to ever relate and connect to anyone.
Was the pain of life, simple ordinary reality, so unbearable that you went down that path just to ease it? I nearly killed myself with alcohol about a year back for similar reasons and have had serious problems with drug addiction for the same reason, I just couldn't stand the way I, life, left.
Open up your heart and accept the pain that may come from other people, learn to be able to overcome it. We both know that if we just kept living our lives the way we had we would have ended up dead and that things were never going to get better, we always would have been profoundly miserable, unhappy, unsatisfied with our lives, and unfulfilled. It's the only way. Even if it doesn't work out, at least you tried, and you can always try again. -
2018-03-15 at 5:03 AM UTC in Rate your physical appearance 1-10I really don't know. I'm probably average. Not being fat and being in ok shape boosts my score a bit.
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2018-03-14 at 11:01 PM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by Zanick If your writing here is anything to go by, I agree that your teacher will be impressed. But they didn't ask you to include an outline because they don't know you can write a paper without one; much the opposite. They want to know that you can organize your thoughts prior to writing an essay. If you just hand in the final product, they can't see your reasoning. If they ask you what you're reasoning consisted of, and you reply ambiguously, they might begin to suspect plagiarism.
That kind of makes sense.
I literally wrote that because I have Asperger's it gives me cognitive quirks, primarily visualization and memory, and I'm able to create, memorize, and edit it all in my mind, which I greatly prefer. There are memory and visualization quirks, but the rest of what I wrote isn't even true.
I also literally wrote: "I fucked up. I'll take the penalty and remember next time", and blamed it on having overlooked that in the paper outlining what you had to do for the in class essay and missing the last class due to an appointment, which is true.
I actually already revealed that I'm autistic to that teacher because she pulled me aside as class ended and asked me why I wear sunglasses in class. I really think there's a good chance I'll be able to get away with a lot of things by blaming it on autism, her assuming it's because I'm autistic, and possibly getting higher grades out of pity. -
2018-03-14 at 10:48 PM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by Zanick Dude, I have exceptional writing skills and when I first went back to school, I did something not so unlike what you've described here. The result wasn't what I was hoping for. Teachers may find it hard to miss your inherent ability when they read your essay, but they want you to do the assignment per their instructions for a reason. You're smart, Malice, and I know that you can do this, but you need to follow directions or their feedback will discourage you fast.
I know what you mean, but this seriously felt like I pulled off something good. I don't think the outline really even matters that much, that note I wrote about why I didn't write one was in part for the lulz. Part of the reason why I wrote it was just to see what kind of response I get.
Like, this could easily have been top of the class good, by a wide margin, which is what I repeatedly experienced in high school. I wonder if next class I'm going to get asked, "Where did you learn to write like that." and I'm just going to smirk smugly and reply honestly, "Nowhere." -
2018-03-14 at 10:15 PM UTC in Nootropics you're taking
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2018-03-14 at 9:41 PM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.Papa Casper, you failed me! I'm in philosophy club right now and things could have been far better if I had the medicine I need.
To be fair, I could have bought my own RC benzo powder if I wasn't such a dysfunctional fuckup.
Also, I winged my first in class essay and took the entire two hours. I think I may have written an excessive amount, but it may have turned out really good. I'd love to see a response to some of the shit I wrote, especially since we were supposed to write an outline and attach it to the back and instead I wrote an excuse about why I didn't write one, which was pretty funny.