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Posts by cerakote
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2017-07-01 at 4:38 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by RestStop About a year ago I was involved in a car accident where I was the only fatality in a truck containing 6 people. I remember looking up from the passenger seat and seeing an oncoming vehicle and the rest is just darkness. I couldn't move or speak and could only listen to the screaming of my friends as they escaped the burning truck. Eventually all went quiet and I could hear a soft voice and a man appeared in front of me. The man informed me I was dead and that it was time I move on. Confused, I asked what he was talking about and if this was a dream. The man smiled and said that denial is a part of moving on but agreed to show me proof. Suddenly we were at a funeral viewing and the man carefully guided me up to the casket. After taking a closer look I all but freaked out as I saw myself lying dead in the casket. With my hands trembling as I touched my cold skin reality began to set in.
“Let’s go” he said. “We can’t stay here forever.”
I was shocked and began breaking down. I pleaded with the man to help me, after all I was just a sophomore in college with so much life ahead of me. I asked the man if there was anyway he could help me or give me a chance.
“Well yes, there is one way, but of course like everything it comes at a cost.” He said.
“What sort of cost? Like my soul?” I replied.
“No, no, my child I am not trying to take your soul it is already accounted for. However, there is still a price to pay but what exactly it is varies from person to person. Think of it as more of a trade, by accepting this extension you agree to trade me something back.”
“Will anyone be hurt?”
“Have no fear; no one will endure any pain. The price may not even be realized immediately, and don’t worry your satisfaction is guaranteed.”
The man then looked in his coat and pulled out a black book, he flipped through the pages, turned his focus back to me and said:
“Now if you’re ready to go through with this, please just sign here” He pointed at a blank page in the book.
“In blood?” I asked
The man chuckled softly and stated: “No my boy, with this pen”
He handed me a pen and I began to sign the book. As I finished my signature I began to feel warmth in my chest and the man began to fade away. The last thing he said to me before he vanished was:
“Bye for now and I hope you are satisfied with this trade.”
I woke up in a hospital bed and was told I had been in an accident and more importantly I had been the sole survivor of a crash that should have killed me. The doctor stated that it was a miracle I survived unscathed while the others died on impact. He also informed me that I had been in a coma for quite some time but that with therapy I should be back to normal in no time. A while later my parents visited and explained that due to the drunken semi driver hitting us that my friend’s families and my family had gotten some rather large settlements. My parents said that with proper investing and management I wouldn’t have to ever worry about money.
As you can imagine I wasn’t able to sleep well. Every time my eyes would close I would hear my friends’ screams, this was eventually paired with images of them yelling as flames engulfed them. Having to live in the house 2 of my now deceased friends shared with me didn’t help either. I drink a lot now to try and escape the reality that I selfishly traded my one life for theirs. After all, they were my best friends since elementary and I selfishly traded my own life for theirs. Days, weeks and months went on with me killing bottle after bottle trying to cope with myself all while crazily calling to the air that I wanted to undo this trade. I thought I would never here from the man and that I was just crazy and thought a dream was reality. However, yesterday something strange happened, the doorbell rang and as I carried my hungover self to the door and opened it I realized there was no one there. Looking down I noticed a black business card with red letters lying on the ground with two lines that read:
“Unsatisfied with your recent trade?”
“Give me a call!”
The back of the card had a number paired with an image of the familiar man printed next to it. Nothing prepared me for what was in store for me when I called that number.
check out a story called "why i havent showered in 21 years", i think you'd like it -
2017-07-01 at 4:33 AM UTC in I bet I could make some decent money searching under cushions all day
Originally posted by RestStop I remember watching a documentary about these crazy ass "frugal" people. One guy would use the ruse that he accidentally vacuumed his wife's diamond earrings up at car washes in which he and his wife and two would rummage through the vacuumed thrash.
Another guy would look for dropped change near phone booths but for the life of me I have no clue where he was finding all those phone booths I haven't seen one in ages.
yfw there are people in this world (not homeless people, mind you) who actually steal the toilet paper and paper towel rolls from public bathrooms so they dont have to spend the money on it themselves -
2017-07-01 at 4:28 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
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2017-07-01 at 4:23 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
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2017-07-01 at 4:22 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by RisiR † I love the look of people when I add some Crouton into a bottle of dirty Sprite and it turns from that cute pink look into a mud like sludge you can barely get down.
One Deep!
im not a huge fan of sprite by itself but goodness me once you pour some syrup in there it gives it a sugary, sweet taste and it takes the medicine-y flavor away from the syrup and leaves you with grape sugar sprite with alot less fizz and oh man i would drink that shit even if it didnt have drugs in it its really fucking good when its ice cold
dammit risir now i want to spend more money on drugs -
2017-06-30 at 11:28 PM UTC in What have you been playing lately?mount and blade warband since i picked it up a few days ago but also runescape and bf4
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2017-06-30 at 9:32 PM UTC in What's your favourite temperature flavour?miserably cold thunderstorms in the dead of winter are my favorite it makes being inside extra comfy
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2017-06-30 at 9:30 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSKNEEL AND DIE BEFORE THE SHOVEL HEADED KILL MACHINE
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2017-06-30 at 5:30 AM UTC in Machine learning to permaban Scrotardo
Originally posted by Scrawny I yeah but I already know you are coming and I dont want to be alive anyways. Killing me would be the chase of your life and you would go missing and vanish suddenly. like price is right says… COME ON DOWN!!!!! ..
HTS on the other hand I have offered to fly/bus multiple times to me. <3
I'm easy (only for her though)
>her -
2017-06-30 at 5:30 AM UTC in The great Rattox war of '17
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2017-06-30 at 5:27 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
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2017-06-30 at 5:25 AM UTC in ATTN: Lannyfaggots arent people
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2017-06-30 at 5:24 AM UTC in Got my new phone
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2017-06-30 at 5:23 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSmy post/thank ratio is better than most users here so suck a fat dick you gay nigger scumlord
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2017-06-30 at 5:20 AM UTC in Got my new phone
Originally posted by infinityshock I just replaced my battery… $20-ish from gorilla battery.
that's part of why I'll never, ever, buy a phone with a non-removable battery. I paid $80 to change the battery in an iphone 5. fuck apple.
I'm keeping this phone until they come out with something better…and I'm not paying $1100 for it.
the jedis want everyone to buy into shitty normie meme hype
death to apple -
2017-06-30 at 5:17 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSim not retarded enough for a special usertitle, so would me telling you to fuck off mean something
if so, fuck off -
2017-06-30 at 4:06 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by Scrawny I R u saying my freds aren't good? my art is bad? .
What the fuck have you posted besides HURR DURR IM A RETARD HIGHSCHOOLER!!!!!
im out of school you fucking ape
at least i have a future, you already squandered yours and get to be a shitter job working ass cuck for the rest of your miserable life -
2017-06-30 at 4:02 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSdude why dont you go shitpost irl instead of here
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2017-06-30 at 3:59 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by Malice THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS!!!
I swear to god we need to find some way to deal with Scron and bling bling in particular.
Lanny mentioned that the forum wasn't designed to allow anyone other than himself to have power, but eventually wants to add mods. Just having someone who's regularly on throughout the day specifically with the task to ban bling, scron, and spammers/bots would be a blessing. For pretty apparent reasons I would be a major risk, although as a hiki/net addict I'd certainly be able to catch them fast, but I'd even be willing to provide something in exchange for the power in order to create a mutually assured destruction scenario. Not like I could do all that much damage anyway, anything should be fairly easily reversible, and the harm that would come to me from any punishment I previously agreed upon for violations of the power and privilege granted me would cause far more harm to myself, clearly make it not worth doing so.
A very interesting possibility would be if you could simply make it so that the person granted this ability could only ban accounts younger than one week. This is a very simple and effective solution, although I don't know how difficult the technical modification to the forum software would be.
Lanny, you need to buy some more 2-FMA (It's available again, albeit not as readily as before and at a higher price) and get methed up one of these weekends. I swear I would dress up as a perfect scene boy, replete with makeup, and give you a blowjob as motivation/reward if I was gay/bi and that was what it took.
I am 100% serious when I say I'm considering contacting Sophie to team up and doxx the fuck out of those two, fuck them over IRL to the point where they get the message to stay off the fucking forum and find someplace else to shitpost. Anyone who wants to assist and has skills that will contribute is welcome to join.
inb4 rattex shitposting -
2017-06-30 at 3:57 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS