Originally posted by Sudo
I was literally talking with someone tonight about the possibility of going to church on Sunday but then when I got home I realized I have no idea when it starts. Is it 9? 10? 1030? I don't want to be there too early or too late and look like a total jabroni. How can you find out? Can you Google a specific church like a restaurant and it'll tell you their hours? Please help me jesus
Yes you can Google it. But the way the real dudes do it is they find a church and camp out in front of the door so they can be the first ones in and they hog all the holy water and get first dibs on sucking the pastors cock/s.
Then the REAL niggas burn it down after they're done.
It's very complicated, lots of moving parts.
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I've never got a bike dui but I did get "pulled over" on my bike once at like 2am for not having a front and back light. Of course I had a bench warrant for unpaid fines so I went to jail. Of course I was also like half a block from home. Of course it was probably better to get the warrant over with anyway. A horse is a horse.
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That's very vulgar stuff I used to think that way but I just changed like 20 minutes ago I'm now into respect of women's bodies and just want to do nothing to them but sensual nice barely touches and cheek kisses. Even if they ask me to bite them or fuck them or abuse them or whatever they might want, I dont do that myself. And I'll tell them that. "ohhhh mq please fuck me" NO. I don't do that anymore. I will peck you on the forehead with my lips, just barely like a butterfly and then I'll fly off like that same butterfly
thats my new move it's called the butterfly
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posting online is how when you're on one you assume maybe everyone can understand your frame of mind or even know that you're on a drug, like juicebox stare rape said earlier or whomever. stim posting, drunk posting, weed posting sober posting pill posting, when you're doing it, or when IM doing it, it feels right and l8ike everyone should know exacly what i mean.
:(
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actually that's a lie I did it a few times a few years ago from my house to mcdonalds a few blocks away I have to admit it, I did it, and I got to know the drive thru guy and I'd always tip him a dollar to make sure my fries were extra crispy hehe but he was cool
but other than that it's been like 7 years or so
Just tonight I went out downtown to play trivia with my friend and (JESUS CHRIST IM TALKING LIKE KRAWZ) and we wne to this little old irish bar and got all tuned up and we were gonna drive home and she started hiccuping and she has never had a dui or whatever and I'm always usually like I don't even think about it just whatever but she hiccuped and seemed really drunk and I was like, NO. NO. We can't do this I can't let you drive; I was trying to be responsible. But then we talked for a minute and I was like 'ah whatever fine I'll just pay attention to what you're doing and make sure you don't fuck it up"
which is retarded cuz I was just as drunk
but at the same time it was all good and she literally drove just fine and there were no problems and this makes me want to bump my old DUI thread but I wont but
it really is true that you can pretty much drive just fine, IN MY OPINION, probably to a 0.25 bac level, logically. It's not like when you get really drunk you just sudddenly drive all crazy and wacky ;like some typa cartoon.
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when I go trick or treating I have a hundred costumes in my backpack so when I get to the good places I can go around the corner and put on new costume and keep going back
I actually invented the skeleton thigh high fairy wings so you're welcome for that, candy cane
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I'm really fucked up on a MYRIDAD of things and can't quite comprehend that story but I read it twice and I think it's so cool, reminds me of the time unwred hasked me if he could lick my brainstem and I was like no thats digusting but now, I want to lick YOURS. mine is shit now i'd be embqarrased ot let someone lick mine like if you wanna lose 20 iq points go ahead. Zanick you fucking cucklord I wish I was the vampire in that story except
If I was the vampire you wouldn't have ever known it, and you wouldn't have been stringng me along because obviously I wouold've been strining you along. You sit there with our glasses of wine, we're just two M8s, just like now, two fucking m8s having a wine together and talking about how we met online and how we're together in person and how it's weird and funny and we have laughs and maybe give each other a fist bump while we continue to drink but
of course then after the 4rth fist bump when we're just totally feeling jovial and nice and so happy with one another and comfortable and almost wanting to fuck even though we aren't gay we still want to but you move into me to try and kiss my cheek or some gay shit and i push you away and say "what the fuck dude" but I laugh, ya know, I laugh like hahah you were kidding right? and you say hahahhaa yeah I was jsut kidding
then we talk more and then
I just wait for you to go to bed and I fucking devour you, sexually, but you never even knew in the morning due to the cocktail of GHB I put in your drinks the night before etc
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HEY HONEY CAN YOU WARM UP THAT FROZEN PIZZA FOR ME"?
HEY HONEY CAN YOU COOK THAT FROZEN PIZZA FOR ME?
HEY HONEY CAN YOU GET THAT FROZEN PIE OUT OF THE FREEZER AND COOK IT FOR ME BECAUSE IM HUNGRY?
HEY DUMB BITCH MAKE THAT PIZZA AND SUCK MY DICK
HEY FAGGOT, GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY PIZZA
that'd be funny if you got home and tommy was locked in the oven cuz he was so proud of making the pizza he got inside with it to make sure it was perfect like he was rearraging the pepperonis and cheese strands on it diligently and meticulously liek soo happy that his daddy was gonna be proud of him when he got home and then you get home and of course he's charred and dead inside the oven and you just scream and scream and scream and scream
If I ever have a son
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Burns suck. the worst thing about them is even after you cool them off with water, if you expose them to any heat they hurt really bad. I say this as a cook like I've gotten so many grease burns on my wrists and hands and you can kinda shrug them off but then it just hurts really bad for the rest of the day when you're doing anything over the grill.
The best way to deal with it, personally, is to just accept that you deserve it. Don't focus on the pain as a negative, focus on it as a deserving, needed thing. EMBRACE THE PAIN, so to speak.
I reemember that story about the guy who was so mad at himself he took scalding hot showers and just thought to himself I DESERVE THIS. I couldn't do that but it';s a similar concept. I'm really bad with super hot body things lol like getting into a hot tub, I have to go so slow and it takes me forever whereas some people can just get right in. maybe I have a skin condition idk, I can jump into COLD water just fine but HOT, I can't. It hurts me to think about it.
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Originally posted by SBTlauien
Yeah, but people like you. Maybe I need to look right above their mid sections.
You should get those contact lenses that make your eyes look all wonky so you can just look wherever the fuck you want and the people will never know, plus they'll feel sorry for you for having weird eyes and maybe be more inclined to be your friend or give you a blowie
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