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Thanked Posts by CASPER
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2018-03-20 at 6:39 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by WE SMOOTH Would it only be nice if it worked out cause she's purdy? If she's pretty enough it's worth the gamble of using no condom and pulling out at the last millisecond. Or even if she's just cool.
Itd be nice if it worked out because shes pretty, SUPER intelligent, with loaded parents, and with a history of her own that makes it so I dont have to try to explain the last 10 years of my life....which is the primary obstacle i forsee having, trying to get out and talk to women in general, at the ripe old age of almost-30.
And as fuck as Id like to raw dog that sweet, athletic pussy, I think no condom would spoil the event. I havent gotten laid in years at this point, and I swear being on dope made my go-time way longer at first, and now way shorter. I tried out these dura-last rubbers in anticipation, and even with a dick slathered in benzocaine, i got like 3 1/2 min of furious jackin. That was the nice thing about dope and speed. Sex wasnt even about connection or enjoyment- it just turned into an athletic event. Ie- how many times in a row can I fuck you, in how many different places, and how many loads can I blow on how manty different parts of your body before it becomes too painful to ejaculate anymore, or my dick starts bleeding.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-03-14 at 9:20 PM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-03-14 at 1:52 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by MAL This is true love. We need to start an online campaign to help RestStop meet his queen!
I mean she lives in Marina del rey, a couple miles from my house. Ive seen her at Whole Foods occasionally.
My new mission is gonna be to find her and take a picture with her with a sign that says "GOT YO BITCH NIQQUH"The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-03-07 at 2:27 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-02-10 at 3:37 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-02-03 at 2:55 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.So yeah-As per tradition, TRT is dead...LONG LIVE TRT. Feel free to kick off your shoes and get stupid.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-02-03 at 3:20 PM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by Enter how do you know this girl. tinder? you never told me
I'm way too much of a pussy for Tinder. I couldn't take rejection of that magnitude. I've kind of just come to terms with any chicks I actually want to bang being polite and nothing more,
Her gross lanky balding jedi ex bf of 6 months started calling me for antiques- that she was paying for with her money. She paid for his food, clothes, cigarettes, drugs, etc. one night Drove down and was waiting for him, and he was passed out cold so she took his phone and started texting me, eventually I met up with her and she started telling me how awful he was to her, and how she just wanted out, and stuff about her life. Eventually she started saying he should hang out or go take photos with her old cameras, or see a movie or get dinner. Then recently she's been being way more overt, looking for excuses to drop by during the day to see me, or have me come over. A lot of winky emojis and saying stuff like let her know any time I want to call in a favor.
I'm starting to think her last relationship was just such a complete clusterfuck that she's trying to lessen than post-breakup crash with someone she can feel safe and comfortable around. Her ex has broken into her condo multiple times to steal drug money.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-02-03 at 3:10 PM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by 哈哈你看不懂中文 So did you bang her or what?
Took me an extra hour n a half to shave my face, trim my pubes, shower, wash my gross greasy hair, trim my nails, put some orajel on my dick, make sure i waterpiked out my teeth and shit so I didn't have smokers breath, do some laundry, take a couple of xanax bars and a couple gin and tonics, and smoke a bunch of dope before I left. And by the time I got there after meeting some antiques customers, pretty sure she was asleep.
But that's on her. She just missed out on the best 5 minutes and 20 seconds of her young life. I do wish she'd grow out her hair again though.
But I'm gonna shove a rag in the toilet like we've done before and tell the hotel that my wife is mortified to take a shit in the room for fear it'll overflow again. Last time they upgraded to this GORGEOUS atop floor suite with big leather sofas and sculpture and a big whirlpool bath in the corner of the room, overlooking the airport.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-01-24 at 2:23 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get Rekt, Faggot!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-01-18 at 12:18 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get Rekt, Faggot!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-01-02 at 4:57 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get Rekt, Faggot!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-01-02 at 5:29 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get Rekt, Faggot!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-01-02 at 1:30 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get Rekt, Faggot!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-12-30 at 8:40 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get Rekt, Faggot!"Wealthy" is kind of a relative term. I feel wealthy as fuck right now because my cost of living is almost nothing, and I can go out and buy $200-300 worth of stupid shit every day, and still be up +$300-500 or so at the end of the day.
Granted Falco might just have a different way of thinking, but whenever Ive been in a good place financially, I spread it around. Buying steam games and free droogs and birthday presents for you niggas. Stuff for family. Buying new shoes, clothes, backpacks and food, etc- for homeless people. I always thought it was weird nigga wouldnt pull a boss move and paypal $1000 like "Enjoy your new video card faggit. IM RICH BITCH."
That said, he did spot the fake AP pretty quickly- which would suggest he knows shit about watches. My friend and I had never even heard of that brand. He still calls it an "Audubon Pigeon" .
In any case- none of that really matters. Hes still the ace boon coon around here.
Im also a gigantic fibber, but moreso that i might embellish something that actually happened, or claim credit for something that I was tangentially involved with. For example, when someone said that the coke lindsey lohan got caught with was his coke, that was only partially true. He did not HAND it to her, but simply gave it to her assistant. And the coke did not in fact belong to him, because he grabbed it from his nigga.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-12-29 at 4:31 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get Rekt, Faggot!tfw when one forcefully removes the windshield from a niggas car because said young nigga gave you 300 antacids instead of xanax.
But then you learn that the pharmaceutical company MYLAN makes a 1mg pill "MYLAN1A", and you were not, in fact, given "Mylanta".
Easy mistake. lul.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-12-28 at 10:59 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get Rekt, Faggot!
Originally posted by RisiR † I don't have a computer…. well, I actually do again but it's just for work. I can't game on it.
I need muh Playstation! Now!
My dude. Go on ebay and buy any dell optiplex or anything with an intel quad core (i5 series). I got one for $90- including shipping.
Slap a $70 GTX 780 or $100 gtx 970 in there,$30 or 40 for a psu upgrade and for roughly $200, youll be gaming at medium-high settings for the next at least 2 years.
Bulk-purchased, mass produced refurbished workstation computers sporting quad core processors are the most undervalued thing in pc gaming right now. Basically for cheaper than the cost of the copy of windows that comes with it- you can have the entire computer.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-12-27 at 1:25 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get Rekt, Faggot!
Originally posted by Fromus Krokus i have a 3.5 GPA even though ive done fucking nothing at all in school besides the bare minimum. i still trap every day
having an IQ in the 99.97th percentile is like life on easy mode. i get everything done while still in maximum degeneracy mode
Yeah wait till real life. Its easy to dismiss the fact that youre too intelligent to have to deal with stupid people, menial labor, tasks or requests which have no practical, logical purpose.
I was in the 99th percentile in every category except mathematics. Had a 3.8 GPA doing cocaine and smoking meth and eating mushrooms and DMT ethnobotanicals every day. Then real life comes and its like "oh. People dont just give me money and a place to live because im better than them in pretty much every measurable and intangible way. Well this is just stupid."
I dont know what Id recommend. Being homeless and realizing you cant intellectualize your way out of sleeping in a van is a good experience, though.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-12-22 at 8:13 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get Rekt, Faggot!
Originally posted by RestStop Getting paid is infinitely more important than companionship you will find.
They should really teach this in school. Rent a super pricey car and drive around town and see how many stupid hot women will try to come up just to initiate conversation with you. This is like Life 101 shit that they shouldve told us at 5 years old.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-12-21 at 6:18 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get Rekt, Faggot!
Originally posted by SpatianHaigency The airbnb im in smells like popcorn. This entire house reeks of buttered popped corn. I cant sleep in all of this popped corn.
*ahem*
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/815240-Popcorn-fentanyl
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/hamilton/news/fentanyl-busts-hamilton-arrests-1.4378055The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-12-16 at 6:17 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get Rekt, Faggot!
Originally posted by Sophie I was considering it but i decided that because you planned to make a thread i would wait it out.
What happened?
Maybeit just seems more hilarious to me than it should be. You can be the judge.
I was out delivering cookies to my peoples, and one guy hops in the car, and it becomes apparent he doesn't have cash. Im like "Dude I really gotta go. I wasted all this gas to come down here, and I was supposed to be downtown 15 min ago." And he says "HOLD ON MAN hold on hold on.... You said let you know If I got anything good, right?" And im thinking "Yeah another ipad or a watch or something is always cool". And he starts unwrapping a shirt that he pulled out of his backpack, and then he just lays it in between us.
I lean over, and switch on the map light. "Where is it?" I ask. I assume since he wrapped it so safely, mustve been something expensive or fragile. I start looking between the seats to see if it dropped somewhere. "What you mean?" he says... "I know youve seen Home Alone."
wut. wut. WUT.
"WUT THE FUUUUUUUCK are you talking about?" I query, loudly?
He gestures. "Thats McCauly Culkin's sweater from the movie, bro".
:appropriate meme face:
He starts trying to pull up google pictures on his phone. "Dude this would be worth like $5000 at an auction easy. Especially this time of year you know? Its a Christmas movie?"
Im pretty speechless, but I finally convey that I dont have a ton of information as to the long term outlook on the appreciation/depreciation of McCauly Culkin sweatshirts, so I drop him off and head home.
In retrospect, I feel like I shouldve given him something just so I could create a sort of "Hall of Fame" of things people have tried to trade. Just a big glass frame with "Kevin McAllister's sweatshirt from Hole Alone" in quotation marks, and the value traded for below.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
