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Thanked Posts by CASPER
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2018-10-18 at 11:41 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionGood god I want to get high. Every time this year. The air starts to chill and the smell of swirling dead leaves and loamy dirt. And I remember sitting on corners sweating through 4 layers of clothing, freezing, shaking, dry heaving and vomiting as discretely as possible at the bus stop in front of the drug store. With your joints all aching and spine feeling like it's been woven through a wheel. You'd think that would make you not want to get high, to go back to that. But that cold air and the smell of leaves is also a crackling bonfire and a cigarette in the night air, and laughter. Cheap domestic beer, and pilfered whiskey from an empty water bottle. The flickering on the faces of good friends who don't exist anymore. And a shy girl who they always teased because her tits were too small, and her ass wasn't big enough....leaning in awkwardly to kiss you on a fire escape. And there was not knowing and uncertainty and that was invigorating. And between then and now feels like an ancient ocean. And I used to love and laugh and fight and felt vibrant and electric and full of words. And now I just feel all scooped out inside, with a big plastic smile carved into my face,appropriately approximating something more human than a gourd. Fuck.
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2018-10-21 at 5:51 PM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-10-21 at 4:49 PM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..But the mushrooms almost made it really hard. everything was really beautiful, but i just wanted to connect with someone really bad. I felt compelled to walk around and check on the people who'd obviously had too much to drink. A girl who was probably only 13 or 14 was crying and i asked her what was wrong and she said she couldnt breathe. I asked im she had athsma or anything and she said no. I told her i could walk her to the emt tent because those guys are really nice and thats all theyre there for. But she said no its ok. and then i felt kinda creepy. Then i asked if she wanted me to to go get one of them and bring them back to her and she said okay. Just spent the entire night trying to find people to glom onto, but glomming happens easily in your teens and 20's....glomming not so much at 30. But be something to do with the chemical bonds, etc. But then you have to remember that youre a 6'7" 350lb bearded man, and many people will be afraid of you. Then you have to remember to give the girls enough space so they dont feel weirded out. Stuff. But was kewl. Except so bass heavy that you couldnt even tell what the song was for a bit, esp in some of their more layered songs. And a bunch of new shit id clearly never listened to once. Was hoping to just shake Damons hand and say thanks, but at the end of the night i figured if he was half as exhausted as i was, just let the man get some rest.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-10-21 at 4:22 PM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..Still high. Glad i went.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-10-21 at 2:54 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionFucking hell. I think I strongly underestimated how high I'd be tonight
Originally posted by RestStop Funny how life works. People will confirm your friend request after you've called them bitch, whore, called their child a bastard and blocked their messages on fb messenger. Totally out of the ordinary for me but I had to do it out of self respect.
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2018-10-21 at 1:53 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs Attention3g of mushrooms, 7mg lorazepam, 4 beers, 150mh methadone ed. Other stuff. Good weed. The sun is going down but the warmth is still coming up out of the cracks in the concrete like the gentle heat under a crush's flannel shirtThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-10-20 at 10:48 PM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..ok. Time to get ready for concert and anesthetize myself enough so I dont cry in front of strangers. GO!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-10-20 at 8:15 PM UTC in Getting on the same bus as MaliceI also encouraged her to find a zoo to work at where she could take care of injured animals, and then coax one of the chimpanzees into ripping her face off and beating her skull in with a rock. A painless, dreamless, sleep.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-10-19 at 8:03 PM UTC in People who can only speak one language are generally boringSploo speaks like 6 languages but only zero of them actually existThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-10-20 at 3:15 AM UTC in Getting on the same bus as MaliceWith the amount of shit you have going on, I'd probably feel the same way. Idk. I always got the sense you were a decent person, with some issues and circumstances that caused the detour in your life. I feel like I should say something persuasive or uplifting, but I've come to believe everyone has the right to check out when they cant deal anymore. But it's important to know when it's the right time too. 1) if you want to maximize haunting potential, should wait till Halloween. 2) I'll make you the same offer I made Malice. If you dont want to be alone when you do it that is. Idk. Is that callous shit to say? Idk. Anyway....you have my number.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-10-20 at 1:25 AM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..
Originally posted by ohfralala Oh yeah well I wouldn’t wanna go by myself either. Do they even have new music? I haven’t heard anything new in a while. Actually I’m gonna go listen to them now.
Yeah since Demon Dayz there was Plastic Beach, Humanz, The Now Now and a couple others I think. Idk if id even know half their new stuff, although I have found some new songs i kinda like.
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2018-10-19 at 5:04 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionBuddhism says life is learning to reconcile pain. Addiction has been an excellent teacher. I was always ahead of my classes, and tall and strong, at least okay looking. When you lose all the things that made you who you were, who you you become then? Since the physical body is the same, are you always that person somewhere? Or is it possible to kill that former self and become something else entirely?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-10-19 at 4:48 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs Attention
Originally posted by ohfralala I’m not trying to be retarded but this shit made me cry.
If you ever decide to make handwritten copies, bind them in leather and I’ll buy it from you.
Originally posted by Sudo Yeah this hit me pretty good
You obviously have a knack for articulating a universal sadness. Please stay with it
Thank ye. Like I said it was better before I pumped a bunch of toxic shit into my lungs and veins and turned my brain into pudding. It was certainly more articulate and vivid. But I'm glad it translates over for some people. I probably need to be on some kind of meds. I remember vivid video clips of my life and just replay them over and over again. Or in the case of relationships, I fast forward in my head to 6 years down the line where we're in the kitchen and she's throwing plates at me and we're screaming at each other.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-10-19 at 3:14 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs Attention
Originally posted by ohfralala This might be my favorite poem ever, even if it wasn’t intended as such.
<3
I used to write a lot. But heroin kind of lobotomized me. I rarely write anymore. I have to be massively depressed or withdrawing to feel enough to get something half-passable out. Poast sharing some of the old stuff hed clipped from TOTSE kind of sparked something in my head. But I cant even count the number of notebooks ive thrown out or destroyed. Since Im already being a total fag, I might as well share what I churned out in about a half minute last night. And i get that the cadence and everything isnt perfect but like i said i was angry and fucked up and just typed it out as fast as it came out of my head.
I never expected you to be perfect you know?
the way that heroin is.
When the warmth spreads to your fingers and toes
And fills in the hollows and crevices
Till your whole again and human.
And the past becomes as hazy as a bathroom after a warm shower
And you can pretend that the last 12 years
of fuck-ups and tears didnt matter
While you while away more hours till the ground crumbles beneath you
And i guess ive just always had a thing for broken people
Its like you cant know yourself until youve found yourself in pieces
And seen the rough edges and flip sides to every crack and paint chip
To every dream you ever had and every thing you thought you were
So all it takes it one sad half faked smile
And I see myself in her. Literally. Maybe not.
But if we robbed a bank and both got shot in a truck
At least it would all end before we hated each others guts
In some way ive always needed that bonnie to my clyde
And when you try to stifle a smile and look at me
I feel like a late october pumpkin and youve scooped out my insides.
Hurt hits me like a golden oldie, but i hate it when you speak
Because each honeyed word and pretty lie fools me into feeling human
And I fucking HATE to feel that weak
When you said you felt ugly and i kissed the silver ringed scars
that covered the galaxy of your stomach
Near shaking, afraid to be such a failure in front of your parents
Even though i couldnt look you in the eye you cupped my face in your hands and said
"We're the same, you and I. You dont have to say anything. All they need to know is that I want you"
And something switched.
But trying to keep you is cupping an injured songbird in your hands
Too afraid to move or scare or hurt it
Cause it might not come back again
Whewn my mom told me my life should ended in the trash can at an abortion clinic
I said "I love you too", and i think thats the last time ill mean it.
And i think when it comes down to it, death or drugs, either or
With a needle or a bullet you just want someone who cares so deep
To bleed out with you on a motel bathroom floor.
Figuratively
Maybe.
Or something.
-fin-The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-10-19 at 3:51 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionI laid out every personal, deep, scathing critique of being with me, and she still wanted it. And i yelled at her a bunch. Told her maybe if i choked and hit her like her ex shed like that more. I told her i pray every day that shell fuck off, because i dont want to have to be responsible for her, wondering if shes okay. I dont want to have to wonder if she watched a sad movie and opened her wrists in the bath again. Feeling human isnt worth feeling that awful all the time.
She always harps on the fact that my birthday is the day that she died on the operating table twice and was revived. It doesnt mean anything. Its not a story. Its a coincidence. And we're both junkies. And she gets so close and then it freaks her out and she lies and lies to try to push away. Im just tired. I kinda wish shed just disappear. At least before i was just a common, everyday kind of unhappy.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-10-14 at 12:33 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionMary apparently. "JOSEPH IDGAF WHAT THOSE FAT HAIRY QUEENS WANT. AINT NOBODY STEPPING FOOT IN THIS MANGER. YOU SAID MOTEL, BUT THIS IS A NEW LOW. I AM NOT GONNA HAVE THOSE WIDE EYED MULTICULTURAL WEIRDOS STANDING OVER ME IN THIS DUMP WHILE THAT GOAT SLOWLY EATS MY PLACENTA WHO RUNS THIS PLACE DAVID LYNCH?"The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-10-14 at 8:33 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionJust filmed a nuts felony stop right outside my house
Which news station is going to pay for me to get fucked up tomorrow? LolThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-10-13 at 6:33 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionOr is there...no excuse NOT to?
DiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicccccckkkkkkkkssssssssThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-10-04 at 6:54 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs Attention
Originally posted by -SpectraL Daily "HUUUGE" updates on a ticker.
"McDonald's Filet-o-Fish sandwich is, without a doubt, a shining example of American ingenuity, quality, incredible deal making, and efficiency. To take bits of a thousand different slimy sea creatures that would cause God himself to turn away in shame and disgust- an ability known to only Diane Feinstein- and to make a top-tier, delicious, nutritious sandwich of it..... A real American success story. A story of WINNERS."The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-09-23 at 9:08 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionIs is weird that when I get depressed, I imagine my face in a little square on a nightly news bulletin, beard grown in, head shaved? In block letters there's something about two heavily armed and armored gunmen. I look at my face in the mirror and I try to imagine how much more aged, how much more stern and beaten that face would look? And what would be the final straw? Would it be something big? Or just maybe someone fucked up and forgot the avocado on his breakfast burrito. Maybe that's all it took. But I feel sort of jealous of the man on the tv. He figured it out. For once instead of laying around feeling angry and tired, he did some something. Anything. Followed it through to completion. And since they can't track down family who have anything to say, they end up interviewing the black dude outside the grocery store. "Yeah I knowd dat dude. I mean he was cool nawmeen? Always bought me Reeses and brought me pizza n beer. always seemed friendly,But I never thought he do some wild shut like dat".
/end creative writing segment. North Hollywood bank robbery also do be fly tho, for the record.
