Posts by Elbow

1. 2024-06-06 at 5:50 PM UTC in Dumps
   

   Elbow African Astronaut
   like a truck, truck, truck
   
   
2. 2024-06-06 at 5:49 PM UTC in If I had a pussy
   

   Elbow African Astronaut
   
   
   OP should change his pfp/avatar/whatever we're calling them these days to this guy.
   
   
3. 2024-06-06 at 6:29 AM UTC in How does making you click I'm Not a Robot work
   

   Elbow African Astronaut

   Originally posted by Narc I find that more scarier than the robots
   
   
   .

   
   I have made peace with living in the globohomo online panopticon.
4. 2024-06-06 at 3:54 AM UTC in How does making you click I'm Not a Robot work
   

   Elbow African Astronaut
   My understanding is that Google keeps track of you all across the internet. When you click that button it's using various factors like your browsing history and the way the mouse moves to decide if you're human. If it's not sure, it spits out a captcha.
5. 2024-06-06 at 2:24 AM UTC in Ukraine vs israel
   

   Elbow African Astronaut

   Originally posted by frala The war in Israel will never end bc ultimately it is a holy war.

   
   Holy wars can be ended. There are only 15.7 million Jews out there.
   
   
6. 2024-06-06 at 1:51 AM UTC in damm 17 guys holy shit
   

   Elbow African Astronaut
   i fr thought this was gonna be about some chick getting railed by 17 guys and some part of me was relieved when i realized it was just wariat noncing over a 17 year old like usual
7. 2024-06-06 at 1:33 AM UTC in Ukraine vs israel
   

   Elbow African Astronaut

   Originally posted by Kinks nah Israel will be ash

   
   Are you expecting that to happen by way of a meteor or something? Or because Israel spiraled out of control first?
8. 2024-06-05 at 10:56 PM UTC in Ukraine vs israel
   

   Elbow African Astronaut

   Originally posted by Kinks ukraine
   
   Israel will be ash

   
   S-so Israel then.
9. 2024-06-05 at 5:50 PM UTC in Orgazmo
   

   Elbow African Astronaut

   Originally posted by Instigator You're the same age as my sister, bro.

   
   i am your sister
   
   
10. 2024-06-05 at 5:08 PM UTC in Orgazmo
    

    Elbow African Astronaut
    for the last like... 10 years... i've had this idea of a superhero whose power is causing spontaneous orgasms in his foes (this would be debilitating in a fight - think about it) and i just realized the fucking south park guys beat me to it and made a whole ass movie about this when i was 7 years old
    
    
    
    like i knew orgazmo existed to the limited extent that i knew about this song. but it just clicked when i went to go listen to it. like "right. orgazmo is a super hero. what are his powers." so i looked up the movie synopsis and sure enough he has a ray gun that makes people cum. fuck.
    
    i don't know if i've ever had an original thought in my life.
11. 2024-06-05 at 5 AM UTC in Have you been brainwashed?
    

    Elbow African Astronaut

    Originally posted by ner vegas anything can be broken

    
    
12. 2024-06-05 at 12:39 AM UTC in monkey brain
    

    Elbow African Astronaut
    >get high
    >watch show i've been enjoying for the past 12 episodes
    >suddenly realize how fucking stupid and shitty it is now that i'm high
    >like... jesus. this is so awkward. fuck. who could watch this? ew. oh wait. me. i watched it for hours at a time. ew. ew. i'm just gonna lay down. ugh.
13. 2024-06-05 at 12:37 AM UTC in monkey brain
    

    Elbow African Astronaut

    Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood this is what happens when you don't smoke weed all the time. Make your brain go slow motion and you will play the same video games for years and be like WHOA MAN THE PS7 HAS BEEN OUT FOR 2 YEARS ALREADY?

    
    weed doesnt make my brain go slow motion it makes my brain go embarrassingly fast. as in, it goes fast, and all it does with that speed is relay a never-ending stream of embarrassing thoughts/memories until i finally manage to pass out. weed doesn't get me high it just makes me feel immense shame.
14. 2024-06-05 at 12:30 AM UTC in monkey brain
    

    Elbow African Astronaut
    the fucked up part is that on paper i realize this all sounds really miserable, but in reality i'm actually quite content. there's just a shrieking monkey in my brain that wants me to distract it. it's no more bothersome than an itch, really.
15. 2024-06-05 at 12:25 AM UTC in monkey brain
    

    Elbow African Astronaut

    Originally posted by Donald Trump Maybe get in trips out every day. When I was a NEET I'd set out to go to the gym, go to the forest, go see local landmarks, go to church, go to get shopping, generally try to get something in every day.

    
    outside scawwy
    
    also like i dont wanna inflict myself upon the world. i feel awful for people who see me and then there's that split second of like "oh fuck oh fuck what do i call this androgynous hobgoblin lookin' thing? i bet it'll get mad if i get it wrong..."
    
    i prefer to just be inside. for my sake and theirs. y'know?
    
    i just need to like... play a video game or something. maybe read a book. or make something. making something would probably be good, but i'm in my 30s and talentless. i really need crystal meth to convince me otherwise, and to afford me the requisite burst of passion to accomplish anything. honestly if i had meth or even vyvanse i'd find something to do with myself without fail. last time i had meth i got the free gcp trial and started tinkering with hosting servers. probably the most productive thing i'd done in a decade. it just seemed worth doing. without some potent stimmies at my disposal, nothing feels worth doing. i've got no passion. 🤷
16. 2024-06-05 at 12:08 AM UTC in monkey brain
    

    Elbow African Astronaut

    Originally posted by Donald Trump out and about

    
    hahahahahahahahaha
    
    good one
17. 2024-06-04 at 11:54 PM UTC in 'Boiling not warming': Marine life suffers as Thai sea temperatures hit record
    

    Elbow African Astronaut

    Originally posted by Obbe They can't wash what I don't have.

    
    Based.
18. 2024-06-04 at 11:03 PM UTC in 'Boiling not warming': Marine life suffers as Thai sea temperatures hit record
    

    Elbow African Astronaut

    Originally posted by Obbe They meant boiling figuratively.

    
    Hyperbolic metaphor isn't how science works, but it is how propaganda works. 🫡
    
    Are you... brainwashed?
19. 2024-06-04 at 10:58 PM UTC in monkey brain
    

    Elbow African Astronaut

    Originally posted by Enigma You're meant to spend 1/3 of your time doing gainful, 1/3 of your time sleeping and 1/3 of your time in rest/sleep.
    
    When you spend 1/3 of your time in rest and 2/3 of your time doing nothing of course your mental health is going to manifest itself in uniquely unpleasant ways.

    
    I spend at least one half of my time in rest.
    
    
20. 2024-06-04 at 10:54 PM UTC in monkey brain
    

    Elbow African Astronaut
    I'm too stupid for chess. All I know is bongcloud, eat hot chip, and lie.