Posts by Zanick

1. 2016-12-18 at 12:42 AM UTC in Is anybody else here keeping their nose clean?
   

   Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]

   Originally posted by the holy ghost Can you say that your mental health problems aren't substance induced? I can't for sure. Drugs cause mental illness. They change your brain and neurotransmitters.

   
   Generally speaking, I think that's a very difficult question to answer. They certainly facilitate a neuronal transaction I'm trying my hardest right now to prevent. I know the drugs I desire make it worse, so it really becomes a matter of the chicken or the egg. In my case, it looks like it's the chicken.
2. 2016-12-18 at 12:23 AM UTC in Is anybody else here keeping their nose clean?
   

   Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]

   Originally posted by the holy ghost I try to keep myself sober due to mental health reasons like anxiety, depression, and severe OCD. Dissociative hallucinogens fucked with my mind more than any other, so I'm avoiding those for a long time. I relapse frequently on other drug classes because of the boredom and lifestyle I live, but whenever I do my mental health nosedives, so it's reinforcing to me not to. For example, recently I've been staying sober for weeks at a time but always end up going on some retarded, dangerous drug binge for a few days which resets all my progress, then I spend the next few weeks after that hoping to feel better again.

   
   It's weird to think about it like this so far, I've never abstained willingly from drugs for mental health and almost had the suspicion that others did so out of some perceived nobility. It's totally different from that, though, it's a measure of self-preservation and although I know I'm doing it to be more free, it feels more frustrating than anything else.
3. 2016-12-17 at 11:50 PM UTC in Is anybody else here keeping their nose clean?
   

   Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]

   Originally posted by Malice Tell us more about the mental health reasons. No need to be shy, we're all mad here

   
   I had a very damaging depressive episode over the Summer and was lucky seeing a therapist at the time, who connected me with a group that's helped me immensely. I do have to take medication now, but it's a small price.
4. 2016-12-17 at 11:48 PM UTC in The X-Files
   

   Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]

   Originally posted by Sir slappy the sea turtle Unintended racism? Can you ive and example?

   
   Their portrayal of Native Americans is rife with pop culture assumptions of the mystical variety, not to mention the wind pipe soundtrack from Mark Snow. And, the entire episode given to Chinese culture, although some of it is more self-aware.
5. 2016-12-17 at 9 PM UTC in Being halfway in acid is annoying.
   

   Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
   I've never felt this way. I never took LSD if I didn't have enough to the point at which the experience was worth seeking out. I'd rather do a lot, once, than a little over time and I think it's a nice break for my neurotransmitters, too.
6. 2016-12-17 at 8:57 PM UTC in The X-Files
   

   Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
   I rewatch the series a couple times a year, but usually I just select the episodes which lend themselves to the central, overarching plot. This must be the dozenth time I did so, except I let Netflix run through it like normal instead of picking specific episodes and I realized I'm missing some well-written character development and good humor. I love everything about this show, except the unintended racism, which I cannot rationalize.
7. 2016-12-17 at 7:51 PM UTC in Roast your own coffee beans!
   

   Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
   It's tough doing it properly in a pan, but I use an air popper that goes relatively slow and I get a pretty even roast. There are two distinct pops that mark where your beans are at in the process, so as long as you're paying attention it's pretty simple to dump them out. There's definitely a learning curve, but beans are cheap and once you get the hang of things it becomes a fairly meditative routine.
8. 2016-12-17 at 7:45 PM UTC in Harry Potter: The Real Story
   

   Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
   Hogwarts is a front for a criminal syndicate which coordinates ritual child sexual abuse. Its presentation is given to readers subjectively, through Harry's intensely traumatized, adolescent imagination seeking to insulate itself from his frightening experiences. Lord Voldemort is actually a former abducted child who escaped from Dumbledor's K-12 sex program and went to college in the US, where he studied criminal justice and eventually went on to graduate and went on to become a relatively prominent director in FBI activities. He worked to bring the issue of ritual abuse to light there, and eventually returned home to launch similar investigations in the UK. Harry's perspective of him is framed as a conflict of Hero/Villain through his identification with the ones who subjected him to orgies and mutilation.
   
   The best-selling series in history is a coded tome, guarding the secrets of a dark and horrible time in the history of our two civilized, Western nations that cannot be otherwise acknowledged in a way that lets us grieve or seek justice.
9. 2016-12-17 at 7:32 PM UTC in Whats the most serious thing you laughed about?
   

   Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
   One time at work, I used the washroom next to a midget in a top hat. I told a colleague who didn't believe me because I make things up a lot, but just a few seconds later she saw a top hat floating over her computer screen and moved it aside to watch him go in disbelief. I lost it and had to take a lunch because I couldn't compose myself.
   
   A few months later I went into a grocery store around midnight, where I saw him shopping, and I started laughing in memory of the incident. Then I realized he has to do normal things at that time because of people like me.
   
   Post last edited by Zanick at 2016-12-17T19:48:47.964468+00:00
10. 2016-12-17 at 7:25 PM UTC in Mushroom gardening
    

    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    The dinner kind, not the drug variety. When spring arrives I have a few logs that I'd like to inoculate with mushrooms - anybody have a particular breed they like that might be good to start with? Recipes are welcome, too! No oyster, I hate oyster mushrooms.
11. 2016-12-17 at 7:22 PM UTC in Roast your own coffee beans!
    

    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    It's easy, it's cheap and your coffee will step up three notches for just a few minutes of your time every week. A professor turned me on to this new hobby. I use a shitty air popper from Walmart and I buy good beans from growers on Amazon, every day I wake up to some serious quality joe. I recommend starting out at this website, they're a terrific resource.
    
    https://www.sweetmarias.com
12. 2016-12-17 at 7:18 PM UTC in How to use a kettlebell right?
    

    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    I got one about six months ago and I've been using it regularly, but the exercises I do aren't really comprehensive and a lot of them are just made up. I know there's material out there, but have any of you had personal experience that you can relate in a useful manner?
13. 2016-12-17 at 7:17 PM UTC in What's your favorite gadget right now?
    

    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    I got this 128GB flash drive after I saw my sister with one of them. It holds all of the TV and movies I can download and it's the size of my thumbnail. Extremely useful for any media and work that I can't put on Google Drive.
    
    https://www.amazon.com/SanDisk-Ultra-SDCZ43-128G-GAM46-Newest-Version/dp/B01BGTG2A0/ref=pd_sim_147_1?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B01BGTG2A0&pd_rd_r=40QDVYNABYPH2S9R9WKY&pd_rd_w=QTSgE&pd_rd_wg=SEMab&psc=1&refRID=40QDVYNABYPH2S9R9WKY
14. 2016-12-17 at 7:08 PM UTC in Is anybody else here keeping their nose clean?
    

    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    I just take my medication, for the most part as prescribed. I haven't even smoked weed in almost a year. It's not by choice so much as lack of connections and no motivation to seek them out, largely due to mental health reasons. Lately I just smoke and drink, although I really don't feel attached to those either and I can see myself giving them up as I seek more clarity.
15. 2016-12-17 at 7:05 PM UTC in Objects of self-discovery
    

    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    Recently I had the surreal experience of witnessing my interpretive mind outpace my conscious awareness in a way that I won't detail. It makes me want second-guess the human tendency to think twice about certain things, and I've come away with it more stunned than anything, just for having seen how the circumstances worked exactly as I predicted as though my intuition were pulled in one direction and my reason in another.
    
    What weird things are going on in your head this week?
16. 2016-12-17 at 6:59 PM UTC in Anybody do work in research?
    

    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    Even just during your undergrad. I'm seeking out research, rather inactively for now but I may have a basic intern gig in medical outcomes research through a friend with some pull.
    
    What sort of research were you involved in? What kinds of literature did you have to keep up with in order to be in step with the work? What was the overall significance?
17. 2016-12-17 at 6:55 PM UTC in Foreign cinema
    

    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    What's the most recent foreign movie you've seen? Links are obligatory, documentaries are included.
    
    I'll start. I saw Phoenix a few months ago, it's an intense German drama about a woman horrifically disfigured in a concentration camp, who returns to a life that no longer recognizes her, only to find herself in the midst of her husband's involvement with the mysterious circumstances surrounding her apprehending by the Nazis. I recommend it, it's got a slow-building suspense that draws you in rather quickly and has an unsettling conclusion.
    
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2764784/
18. 2016-12-17 at 2:03 AM UTC in How do you cope with the horrific, pointless nature of life?
    

    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    I don't make it the subject of my everyday thoughts because I have a career, people who care about me who I spend time with, hobbies to occupy my focus in a productive manner... When I want to think about meaninglessness I pick up a book or put it forth in a stimulating conversation, but it doesn't amount to anything more cathartic than that. I think you're talking about it in a transcendental fashion that is really still another way of coping.
19. 2016-12-17 at 1:55 AM UTC in What are some ways to learn about the nature of this reality?
    

    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    Start with Plato and Aristotle as a basic, then get into the essential metaphysics like Kant, Heidegger, Hegel, and other branches like phenomenalism and ontology.
20. 2016-12-17 at 1:52 AM UTC in Whats my religion am I?
    

    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    If you don't know of a name for your beliefs and you don't belong to any sort of congregation which might make it evident, then you probably don't have the endorsement of any religious body. You don't have to put a label of your convictions to legitimize them, if you think they're true and you aren't facing religious persecution then I don't think it's a matter of urgency that you seek to identify their source or secure membership under any preordained set of beliefs.