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Thanked Posts by What_a_Kreep
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2017-08-06 at 1:15 PM UTC in Would you rather be a stupid shitface, or a fuckass?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-08-06 at 4:47 AM UTC in Tell Me About Your Experiences with Junkie JesusHave you ever found drugs randomly? Or received an amazing deal on drugs, gotten super lucky with getting away from the police, or from a crazy crackhead? What stories do you have where Junkie Jesus was looking out for you and your own. I'll go first.
I received the unicorn of randomly found drugs. I can't believe that stupid burner dropped it without realizing it. Maybe he left it on purpose as a gift? NAW,I doubt it because if I hadn't of spotted it one of the chinky bus boys I worked with would have just trashed it.
Oh yeah, what I found? Oh nothing much, just a little pink plastic case. Oh yeah and inside was 5 hits of acid, geltabs. Actual geltabs not just saying that like some people do to make it sound like better drugs than it actually is. That was the first and only time I've ever had geltabs. Majority of times I'd done acid in the past it was liquid, I'd have the dealer just drop the liquid on my tongue from his vile. INB4 perverted double entendre
The restaurant I was working at the time was a hot spot for people on their way and/or coming back from burning man. It had been left on the floor under one of the tables over night. I had worked the night before and came in the next the next morning to open. "Stupid lazy busboy,." I thought. That shit has been here all night, "He didn't even sweep!"
I picked it up, before tossing it I decided to open it, expecting it to be empty but secretly hoping it would contain something like a couple of xanax or percocets. Instead, low and behold, there was 5 geltabs. Great acid too, I usually need 2 or 3 hits of acid when I trip but I only needed one and got 3 trips out of this find, I gave my bf the other two. That is the only time I have ever found drugs in my life.
Share your own Junkie Jesus story. But it doesn't count if you lose something or your friend loses something and THEN you find it. I'm talking about straight up delivery, signed sealed, and delivered to you from Junkie Jesus. Or a situation where you were so lucky or given such a huge break it's as if you had drank a full bottle of Felix FelicisThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-08-06 at 5:49 AM UTC in ITT we post really sexy womenThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-08-06 at 5:24 AM UTC in Would you rather be a stupid shitface, or a fuckass?How is this even a question? OF COURSE I would rather be a Stupid shit face.
I Fucking hate fuckasses.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-08-06 at 3:12 AM UTC in making the pussy purrEvery girl is different when it comes to what turns her on & especially what makes her cum. A woman can be turned on and enjoying herself entirely without having an orgasm. I guess a good way to put it is, not every great sex encounter results in a female orgasm but all female orgasms are the result of a great sexual encounter.
I guess some easy and quick tips are:
1) Confidence, submissive and naive aren't exactly turn ons for most females. You can be gentle and slow but don't be awkward and insecure.
2) Spontaneous acts In the middle of sex, If it's nothing too crazy (like surprise anal)! Little taboo moves that you just go for without asking. Lightly choking, (the second guy I ever had sex with all of a sudden choked me a bit, not like psycho killer style but light and firm). It took me by surprise but I liked how he just went for it. LOL, I had a hookup one time where a guy was giving me oral and then surprised me with a rim job. Not gonna lie, I didn't stop him. I've never given a rim job myself, blowjobs is a necessity when keeping a man but I never desired or felt the need to lick an asshole. Basically, do something slightly out of yours and hers norm spontaneously.
3) Be good at oral, I wish I could be more descriptive but trust me, if she's not spazzing out like the exorcist, it's not as good as it could be. Nothing is more boring than boring oral. I guess one tip would be to genuinely enjoy doing it. Oral sex is a great because it shows that you care about the other person getting off, not just yourself.
4) Don't be an idiot and ignore the clit, also, fuck like a man, not jackhammer stuck on repeat mode. I have lost count of the times I have heard girls complain about guys they fucked who just pounded them like a "jackhammer" or a "jack rabbit" . Maybe for a small amount of the time that shit is okay, like at the end when you're just trying to finish but I haven't met a single girl that said she enjoys that style of sex and I've heard countless stories where they were disappointed and/or frustrated with a guy who fucked like that.
Same for fingering/for play, you don't just jam your fingers in there as fast as you can over and over again, that's not what mostgirls enjoy. I say most because there might be a small percentage that do.
5) I would say my final tip to making a girl cum (if this was how to turn a girl on or just be a good lay, there would be lots more to talk about) but we're just talking about making her finish. I notice that it's usually doing a couple things at the same time that push me over the edge into having an orgasm. Do stuff to her with your hands while you're penetrating her: Twist the nipples (in a sexy way not a purple nurple way, rub the clit, lightly choke (or maybe not so lightly, some girls like it rougher than others. I personally think if I'm being choked too hard it's a turn off and a little ridiculous, to each their own though). Use a small toy in her ass and fuck her pussy with you dick. Use something sexy like a black ribbon instead of cliche handcuffs.
TLD;R Confidence is key, be a man not a pussy. If she's not a dyke she doesn't want to fuck a pussy. You're a man not a jackhammer. You have hands, use them.
Post last edited by What_a_Kreep at 2017-08-06T05:38:26.859024+00:00The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-07-22 at 9:10 AM UTC in Got muh Toyota Land Cruiser today
Originally posted by Captain Falcon There is absolutely no reason to note that the car has 5 miles on it if it is in fact new; all it sounds like is "it's a briefly pre-owned car but it's basically like new, so might as well be new m i right?"
You don't need to have the car delivered to your house to make a zero-meter purchase.
You came in with a dumb ass insinuation that just revealed that you're poor. If you don't know something, then ask a question rather than proving that you're an idiot.
Learn to read, you meth-whore. I said that for anybody else who has bought a new car (obviously not you, since you haven't bought a new car) from a dealership. You already couldn't discredit me. That was never on the cards.
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2017-07-22 at 3:11 PM UTC in Vyvanse
Originally posted by infinityshock edit: add to that break list the chick sitting in a tub of hot water to soothe her ravaged orifices. totally not joking.
Cut to a skuzzy & grim motel bathroom about 15 miles out of Reno. Infinityshock looks lustfully at the large woman in the tiny rust stained tub, while he's giving himself a mental pat on the back for definitely getting his money's worth, he notices that there seems to be more woman in that tub than water.
She needs to soak though, her body needs to heal with warm water and epsom salts.....it aches.....the crook of her arms, from missing so much of her dope shots because it's too hard for her to find a vein.
...she was having so much trouble, "what's with this dope" she said to herself.
Oh, that tricky Infinity, he had played her good boy. Not only did he pay her in "heroin" but this "heroin" had been made the week before while he was living out of his car in the various Walmart parking lots.
As she continued to try to register her shot for her fix in the tub, he quietly packed his bags and left. All he could think of while driving away was, "She was pretty fat for a junkie."
EDIT: Made it better ... Just giving you a hard time bro, though you might like a story of hookers, drugs, and ripping people off,
Post last edited by What_a_Kreep at 2017-07-22T15:29:52.762998+00:00The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-08-03 at 11:37 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
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2017-07-29 at 11:48 AM UTC in Things that women are better at
Originally posted by Captain Falcon I can't think of a single thing men can't do better.
Making a girl cum/making herself cum over another man.
Making themselves look 50 times more attractive with hair and makeup skills. Men who wear makeup just look stupid and gay.
Getting free drugs/drinks, even without putting out, dudes will just pass out that shit with hopes of getting some.
Looking good in a sundress.
Lying.
Crying on cue.
Better at getting laid.
Better and getting a SO
I'll think of more...that's it for now.
Post last edited by What_a_Kreep at 2017-07-29T11:50:46.418235+00:00
Post last edited by What_a_Kreep at 2017-07-29T11:51:25.264407+00:00The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-07-28 at 7:29 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by RisiR † Same here. I haven't eaten cereal in years but the last time I got some Cookie Crisps it only had stupid codes for a shitty app and a faggot game on the back of the box.
That was sad.
I remember once when I was really little, I got a floppy disc that had a captain crunch game on it. I just thought it was the coolest thing. Besides Notepad and Pick up Sticks, it was the only activity that could be done on my computer.
lol, I feel kind of nostalgic looking back how I had this little pitiful computer with just 2 programs & no internet connection. I was so impressed with how fancy my older sister's computer was because it had a CD drive and a whole bunch of card games.
(I remember playing Doom 2 with my older brother and attempting till we beat the game, I also vividly remember this game called "Spycraft" I was never able to get pass this one part halfway through, I've looked for this game since my childhood & have not been able to find a modern version to play)
*sigh* Simpler times.
Post last edited by What_a_Kreep at 2017-07-28T19:33:08.312314+00:00The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-07-28 at 7:29 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by cerakote ok lads besides hallucinogens what drugs can i do while being subject to random pee tests?
Crouton is nice, but I notice lately it doesn't do the trick like it used to. I personally think the quality of krataom has gone down because I have even taken breaks for tolerance for a couple weeks and this crap is still crap. (try telling that to anyone at /r/Crouton and you'll get your head bit off ... EDIT: I deleted rant about cucks over at /r/Crouton because it's off topic.
Originally posted by aldra if you're into stims, look into modafinil, armodafinil and the derivatives -'
I used to take Adrafinil a lot, I really liked it. I used take T-PAIN daily when I thought Crouton was going to be banned (sometime Septemberish last year). I liked T-PAIN but if I can get good Crouton I'd rather have that.
Can't you just drink? I mean, at least back in my day of dealings Parole Officers, there wasn't a sure fire way to test for alcohol so you could just get a few beers or what not, get a nice buzz going.
I guess a more important question is are you trying to use drugs while still being able to pass a drug test because
1) you still just want to get high, doesn't really matter on what as long as you'll still pass or
2) or because you need some type of substance to help with quitting cold turkey your drug of choice? -
2017-07-27 at 10:06 AM UTC in THE OFISH 2017 COLLAGE THREAD!!!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-07-27 at 1:51 PM UTC in THE OFISH 2017 COLLAGE THREAD!!!Yes, I just have a piece of human male genitalia in place of my nose. A little deformation never hurt anyone, although it's hard to breathe, the circus has been good to me.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-07-22 at 12:18 PM UTC in Scrawny's Alts: A Comprehensive ListThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-07-21 at 11:53 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2016-03-14 at 6:11 AM UTC in Find out the truth about drugs at drugfreeworld.orgHoly shit, these people are so ridiculous. I remember hearing about them years ago and thinking "this is ludicrous" and "they can't be serious, this has to be a joke." So, turns out this "non-profit" organization that had blown me away with their huge misrepresentations of drugs, this consortium was in fact was founded by none other than *drumroll* those crazy fuckers at The Church of Scientology. The true hilarity from the absurdness of this organization's claims & stories from "real life drug users" is hilarously topped off by their slogan, "Find out the truth about drugs"
Links below to some of the more lolzy ones.
Lolzy video "documentary" about abusing xtc.
http://www.drugfreeworld.org/drugfac...-tell-you.html
Page one of "Facts about LSD" (Just keep reading, it gets so amazingly awful).
http://www.drugfreeworld.org/drugfacts/lsd.html
EDIT: I have added a lot of hilarious quotes within this thread, that way you don't have to dig for the entertaining falsehoods but you still can if you want to at http://www.drugfreeworld.org/drugfacts.html
"After taking the acid, I imagined that we had driven head-on into an eighteen-wheeler and were killed. I could hear the screeching metal, then a dark and evil quiet. I was terrified at this point, I actually thought we were dead….For a year I wouldn't go into any cemetery because I was terrified I would find my own grave. -Jenny
“It started with the weed, then the pills (Ecstasy) and acid, making cocktails of all sorts of drugs, even overdosing to make the rushes last longer. I had a bad trip one night . . . I prayed and cried for this feeling to go away, I had voices in my head, had the shakes and couldn’t leave home for six months. I thought everyone was watching me. I couldn’t walk in public places. Man! I couldn’t even drive. Karen
After a crazy night of "mooking" (smoking marijuana and tobacco together) this next person got so messed up that they even forgot to leave their name next to this quote in the drugfreeworld pamphlet. (seriously, this next quote doesn't even have a name next to it, just the quote by itself)
“I ended up in the mental hospital because it had been 10 days and I had gotten 10 to 15 hours of sleep total.” - unknown mooker
“I was given my first joint in the playground of my school. I’m a heroin addict now, and I’ve just finished my eighth treatment for drug addiction.”
-Christian
“The teacher in the school I went to would smoke three or four joints a day. He got lots of students to start smoking, me included. His dealer then pushed me to start using heroin, which I did without resisting. By that time, it was as if my conscience was already dead.” - Veronique
“At a rave party, I saw a guy who had stuffed himself with Ecstasy repeat for hours, ‘I am an orange, don’t peel me, I am an orange, don’t peel me.’ Another guy thought he was a fly and wouldn’t stop hitting his head against a window.”
Liz
^^ I think we have a winner for the most apparent piece of bullshit copped off as a scare tactic. I don't know if they can get much better…or worse, than that.
Post last edited by What_a_Kreep at 2017-07-21T13:46:12.284219+00:00The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-07-12 at 4:42 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-07-11 at 1:49 AM UTC in Recommend me CHILDREN'S BOOKS...Any book by Robert Munch is great! Super fun and creative plots with fun drawings to go with. Also, there's the Fudge Series, funny and entertaining collection of short novels Such as " Fudge O Rama" And "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing"
i kind o like those short poem books for children as well. Like that one " Where the Sidewalk Ends " I used to get superspun and write in pen over the blank spaces on pages, usually just opinionated comments and a bit of my own poetic additions to the book .
oooh I just remembered, an amazing and touching children's book called "The Tiger Rising". Very odd premiss but definitely the type of book that could be finished in one seating.
Honorable mentions: "There's a Boy in the Girl's Bathroom" "The Adventures of Captain Underpants" "Jade Green" and how could I forget , the horrifying yet humorous tales of the Baudelaire orphans. I have read all 13 books in this Series of Unfortunate Events...twiceThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-07-11 at 12:50 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by Malice "Nothing else can be stated as the aim of our existence except the knowledge that it would be better for us not to exist.” - Arthur Schopenhauer, The World as Will and Representation p. 605.
By god that's a badass quote. Tattooes never appealed to me because I couldn't think of anything that a tattoo would be able to represent that could really portray something I'd feel satisfied with. Even just core parts of myself, particularly important beliefs, something to represent it, literally absolutely nothing has ever come to mind in 27 years until this moment.
I am also 27 years old & have zero tattoos. I think they're kind of lame and usually lack creativity. I guess I have not found anything that I like enough to imprint on my own body FOREVER. I guess I just don't get it, absolutely no desire or serious thoughts of ever getting a tattoo have crossed my mind. At lease where I live, I'm in the minority by not having any tattoos, no piercings either, except 2 in each earlobe.
I have personally known several people who either let someone who was drunk or someone who didn't speak English give them a discount tattoo. "Freinds" in giant letters across this dude's forearm. "For Better or Worsed" also in giant cursive letters up this chick's entire side. At least those aren't as bad as those drunk idiots from my white trash hometown that think since they bought a tattoo gun online they should give all their homies "sick tats" in exchange for weed.
In the rare occasions I see someone with a unique and interesting tattoo, I can't help but think, "yeah dude, that looks badass but....why not just have a regular picture of it instead?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-07-11 at 2:40 PM UTC in Captain Falcon vs Lanny
Originally posted by greenplastic o rly?
because it really sounds like you do
He doesn't care so much, that he's got to make sure we all know how much he doesn't care. By making multiple posts that reiterate just how little he cares and the zero fucks he could give about a subject that he hadn't even noticed in the first place because he wasn't paying attention due to the fact he doesn't really care.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
