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Posts by Lanny
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2015-10-30 at 2:34 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
Not feeling compassionate today, ay? I am serious sophie, I am going to die, I know it. It's possible that something will change, but I don't feel any hope for it, I don't think it's likely. I just couldn't find anything in life for me, and in a way I am very depressed, alone, and afraid. I have been thinking about this general subject for a long time now, last night I spent a long time meditating on this in the dark before sleep.
I want to do it properly and be sure of my decision. It takes a lot of courage to understand what death is, the finality of ceasing to exist, forever, and to go through with it with no hopes of redemption, an after life, of ever meeting with anyone you knew in this life or experiencing anything ever again. If I can dedicate myself to this and accomplish it as I desire, it will have been my proudest achievement in life, the only thing I will have been proud of, and that is very sad in a way. You should read the works of Thomas Joiner if you're ever interested in the psychology of suicide, it's very interesting in a way, one of the extremes of human existence.
You've gone on similar rants before, I'm not particularly convinced, I don't think anyone else is. You could prove me wrong I suppose but you couldn't fake your suicide as a joke. Merely disappearing wouldn't convince anyone with how often you go on about filming overdose/suicide. Anyway, you're good at finding a reason to avoid much simpler things, I don't think you could ever kill yourself even if you actually wanted to. Which is kind of a curse in a way, you'd be better off if you were sincere, made an actual effort to find some meaning or die trying. Oh well.Lanny, your father's been given a poor prognosis. It's a depressing subject, but is he the type to read literature to coming to terms with death, on living with a terminal illness, the final moments in life? I was looking for books on this, but of course there's always the pop/best seller list garbage to wade through. There's also been interesting, serious, research on using psychedelics to assist this process. IIRC psilocin/psilocybin was used in one study and very good results were achieved, anxiety toward death was greatly reduced, it gave people a feeling of peace and acceptance. Wouldn't it be interesting if you guided him through sessions? It could genuinely help him, although I feel you may stray from rationality, which is understandable due to the emotional intensity of the subject, and feel offense as if I'm suggesting you conduct an experiment on him. It could really be one of the most wonderful things you could do for a person in his situation, if he's open to it, and give you the final moments together, of deep and genuine connection and understanding, you'd like to have before he passes. If you love and care for someone, don't feel regret for the rest of your life because you didn't make the effort to understand who they truly were, the deepest aspects of their being. You're a good guy, do good things with you life.
He's on so much fentanyl he probably couldn't even hold a book up. Tracheostomized so he can't talk, too out of it to be communicative anyway, even if I thought it was a good idea (supposedly he took acid once when he was younger but I don't think he'd handle psychedelics well these days, even if he wasn't in the hospital and intermittently in pain/sedated) I'd have a hard time getting satisfactory consent and obviously it would have to be done on the downlow since his physician wouldn't allow it and he's in the hospital so I don't think there's any way it could work. -
2015-10-29 at 5:33 AM UTC in How to be a Faggot in 27 Easy StepsIrish Spring, wow, such progress
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2015-10-29 at 5:32 AM UTC in Silicone Enhanced Women
^ So you wouldn't stick your dick in any of those girls?
Just not the one with the obscene ass. The others aren't great though, like honestly below average for all women between 18 and 30. -
2015-10-28 at 5:52 AM UTC in How to be a Faggot in 27 Easy StepsDaily reminder that having a penis makes you a faggot.
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2015-10-28 at 5:48 AM UTC in Someone help me get this thing going.There's got to be something off with that code (like how it got copied, not with the code itself necessarily). time.time() should never return zero unless you've messed with the system time. Also where are "pps" and "bps" coming from? Are those spaces supposed to be underscores? And "var = var = expr" is valid syntax but "var = expr = expr" is not (the last line in that snippet) so you should get betting a syntax error out of the before a runtime divide by zero
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2015-10-28 at 5:40 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
BTW, I finally got around to reading The Bell Jar, and it was a terribly mediocre and unfulfilling book that never would have gained its unwarranted recognition if she hadn't committed suicide. Did you notice the very disappointing stereotypical feminine frivolity when you read it?
I enjoy stereotypical feminine frivolity. When I see people are able to live "disconnected from reality" or sheltered such that they don't have to deal with the hardships of a more typical existence I experience a kind of vicarious pleasure. It's not that I want to be like that, but if my participation in society enables someone else to be able to avoid harsh "realities" I consider that a success (not my participation per se, but if the system operates such that a small working class (not marx's idea of the working class, merely a minority group responsible for a majority of productivity in a society) can bear a majority of the load of maintaining said society that's a good thing). Incidentally that's why I like slice of life shit.
Not that I think Plath is really representative of that, in fact I think it shows you took a rather shallow reading of the book. And that's not just me being upset you didn't like it, I don't really care, indeed the frivolousness of a woman of her station and era is part of what's examined critically.I do like the analogy, though, which I mentioned before:
The fig tree passage always hit me pretty hard, as it does with many middle class young people I suspect. -
2015-10-28 at 5:04 AM UTC in Silicone Enhanced Women>trying to make your ass bigger
Man, I love niggers and all but that's some dumb fucking nigger shit right there, god damn, fucking ape tier shit -
2015-10-28 at 4:55 AM UTC in An Introduction to HyperspaceITT: autism
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2015-10-28 at 4:52 AM UTC in what the fuck is wrong with me??????????>kiki tattoo
weebs are scary AF -
2015-10-28 at 4:51 AM UTC in What Games Are You Currently PlayingPlaying XCOM: The Bureau. It's bretty good, not a terribly complicated game but there are some interesting dynamics. I feel like the way squadmates work (don't do anything meaningful unless you're keeping them busy, can't hold a point without abilities and such) misses out on some real depth in terms of maneuvering, playing tactics rather than forcing your way through every encounter with abilities and you giving cover for the cooldown (this situation gets worse as the game goes on) but it's still fun.
Also I know perma-death is supposed to make combat more meaningful but making the game harder for playing poorly is usually a poor dynamic in single player and just makes you play really conservatively.People still play that game? I thought The Witcher 3 left Skyrimjob in the dust long ago.
Have you played the expansion? If so what did you think? I pirated it because I'm a cheap nigga but it's a great game and I'm considering buying and the expansion to support CDPR -
2015-10-28 at 4:41 AM UTC in I haven't logged in for a weekI'm on the fence on whether I want to open the pocket pussy thread or not. It could be interesting in either the absurdly stupid sense or as an actual discussion of living conditions of inmates and the meaning of punishment but I'm afraid it's going to split the difference and be gay as fuck.
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2015-10-27 at 6:04 AM UTC in I'm entering SHADOW MODE
What do you mean?
You know how they say when you die you brain releases a bunch of DMT and maybe you have a really intense trip before you finally die? Of course people think that this experience could be exactly that. But we know DMT tolerance builds super fast. So like what if dying on DMT or whatever means your tolerance is high enough if the experience doesn't happen. The analog of this experience, life itself, could be prevented.
Oh, if that wasn't clear my last post was in refrence to Malice's, particularly "Or if you die in that state?" -
2015-10-27 at 5:56 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
@ Lanny. I wasn't serious, although family issues did cross my mind as being the cause of you feeling "off", your father's health problems.
My father's health problems. Did I mention that somewhere or do you know about that some other way? I know you know my name at least and I've put out enough information about myself here that it shouldn't be that difficult to identify me but I don't know how you'd be able to find out the particulars of my father's condition unless you knew me or my family. If that is a guess then impressive, my dad was hospitalized recently with a poor prognosis. I'm kinda fucked up over it and hate the whole social ritual of condolences so I avoid talking about it but either way, that was either an impressive guess or good stalking skills.Your viewpoint is terrifying to me. It's good that you have made your peace with the world and found happiness, I just don't think I could ever be satisfied with that or accept it, even if continues to drive me toward self-destruction; I wasn't completely joking when I said that I hoped psychedelics would at least allow me to come to terms with and accept death.
Have you considered taking a hefty dose of a psychedelic while putting benzos or anything to abort the trip out of reach? Like going into the experience without a way jump out before the most intense part. I've sure you're aware of the research around psychedelics and dealing with death, how it helps terminal patients come to terms with their mortality, and that despite the subjective fear or anxiety there's no real physiological risk, even during really bad trips. I've had a couple of terrifying experiences but I don't imagine they're even that much worse than your day to day according to how you describe it. It's like jumping off a diving board for the first time: it's scary but once you commit to it without a way of turning back it's a really rewarding experience.ok its on its way.
Really do be weary of the alcohol combo effect. I mention it because you talked about almost getting a DUI earlier. It will put you on your ass if your not looking out for it, most people have a really good feel for how drunk a given amount of alcohol will get them but your intuition goes out the window with the potentiation.
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2015-10-27 at 3:50 AM UTC in Punk and Punk SubGenres
Fuck the Sex Pistols. Less Than Jake, Rancid, Choking Victim, bands like that are my favorites.
CV is a classic. I assume you've listened to Leftover Crack and Starfucking Hipsters?
I have mixed feelings about third wave ska/ska punk ala Less Than Jake. Some great hooks although the fanbase can be unabashed douchebags (not that that's a reason to dislike the music, but I still think it borders on being too poppy (as an aside I once basically memorized the lyrics to every aquabats song to move in with a girl (as a roommate) and subsequently get in her pants)), BUT my favorite pick from that genre is Planet Smashers:
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2015-10-27 at 3:22 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
Good, good, you're progressing as planned. Taking psychedelics isn't as simple as you may have assumed, there are things I didn't tell you and you're going to find you will get much more than you bargained for. Think about the psychonaut community, how large it is, how many discussions there have been, people with years of experience, regular use. Don't you think people may have noticed general patterns, things that tend to occur in a person's life after a period of time/eventually, a general sort of progression/development among regular psychedelic users, at least the kind that don't use them like idiots?
Certainly not as simple as I had assumed before trying them, to a degree I thought it was just going to be seeing funny things, which of course isn't the case. But I think you're overthinking it. I've been feeling off because of family issues, not drugs. I'm interested in what you were thinking though. If you thought I was going to be driven off the rails by psychedelic induced disillusionment then you're mistaken, unlike the weak minded I don't see the profound and recoil from the mundane as false or sub-real. I play the game because I love it, no level of transcendent revelation will inspire me to move out to a farm and live in filth to be closer to the earth, the psychedelic experience has made sacred rather than profane the human struggle, "being a cog" doesn't terrify me, in fact wholehearted participation in our society is the truest lived realization of ego dissolution. I want to be a cog, the best possible cog I can be. The hippy nigger who drops some acid and goes to live as a hermit, alone, misses the point. Transcending the organism means being the machine, driving forward this incredible lumbering inconceivably intricate system which is our species, our planet, this bizarre force that seems to resist local entropy. Just as our identity, our separateness, is stripped from us at the peak of the psychedelic experience so is the authentic human's self interest, uniqueness, existence-beyond-function lost in the most intimate moments of living. Have you ever been so focused on something, so absorbed that the subject of your focus become the sole object of your consciousness? Like that feeling when you put down a book you've been reading furiously, or turn off a video game you've played for hours without breaking away from, the awkwardness of being in your own flesh again rather than that of what you were focusing on. That's what I'm here for, unity with another, with the rest, not through some contrived cosmology but through dedication and participation in the super-human being that is social structure. When you exist only as a means to an end then you're forced to ask yourself why, why is the end justified? If you, the organism, is totally consumed in the means then the end must, fundamentally, transcend the organism. This is what I feel when I'm fully absorbed in programming, I stop mattering, the flesh is sustained only because it's necessary to satisfy the ends, the self becomes nothing more than the implement by which discovery, absolution, creation is made possible. It's as though you die, or never lived, there is no you. Perception in the absence of the perceiver, action in the absence of the actor, one becomes pure animus, a force so powerful and unstoppable that the laws of nature bend to the inevitable process. It's bliss and agony and everything else in the palm of your hand and totally unstoppable. If a person is looking for something greater than themselves they don't need to invoke the supernatural, we need only look a the way selves, people, can organize themselves, bind themselves together through mutual agreement, to find something tremendously, definitionally, greater than ourselves.Don't get the wrong idea, that isn't all it may do. It has multiple positive effects, mainly anxiolysis, but if you read reports of people's experiences with it it can be a very distinct drug not quite like anything they've tried before, one of the most enjoyable experiences they've ever had.
Also it potentiates alcohol quite impressively for what that's worth. -
2015-10-27 at 2:36 AM UTC in Syme was literally the singular sympathetic character in 1984Not that anyone needs my blessing but do whatever you want ITT. I have the intellectual capacity to ignore posts I don't find interesting, I would hope the rest of you do too. If anyone wants to talk about 1984 then that's what we'll do, if you want to do something else then go for it. I could give a shit if you don't want to talk about 1984, I think it's dull too.
1984 is a simple book about a beautiful, all consuming love consummated in a park and the womans harsh, overbearing father in a world that doesn't understand their love.
Shitty kinda love if he sells her out in the end. I also feel like a lot more time was spent on the villainy of a totalitarian government than any meaninful love story. In fact Winston himself describes the whole affair as more titillating as a form of rebellion than as anything resembling a healthy or meaningful relationship.1984 was interesting a while ago. I literally read it a decade and a half ago and think it should be taught in elementary schools. There are really many themes which are quite freakishly accurate it's quite surprising orwell wasn't more heavily involved in the callousness of bureaucracy. Many of the topics are still prevalent (the need for an enemy, surveillance, rewriting of history etc.) but I didn't relate to any of the characters or feel sympathy for them because of Autism.
If some jerkoff wrote a book about how important a good typing speed is 50 years ago they would have made an accurate prediction, that doesn't mean we should be forcing typewriter fanfic on children and calling it world class literature. -
2015-10-26 at 5:21 PM UTC in Syme was literally the singular sympathetic character in 1984
There have been numerous studies done on the effects of power and authority.The Stanford prison experiment is the most famous one, although severely flawed. There's also a large pool of literature on political incentive and the dynamics involved.
Of course, he didn't go into that.
Right, that research definitely exists and I'll even go so far as to say it has real and damaging (although not fatal) implications for certain political theories that advocate centralized power. But like you said, Orwell didn't investigate these. And I'm not saying it's an author's role to go read scientific journals and turn it into a novel, but it is an author's job to present give us insight rather than feed us details of an imaginary world (at least when you're writing a book like 1984). Like On Walden Pond does a minimum of investigating, we're given only details we either know or could trivially discover in our yards yet it does manage to investigate something about the human condition and our place in the world, it forms an argument, in one way or another, for the author's point of view. -
2015-10-26 at 7:26 AM UTC in Punk and Punk SubGenresRevival-era emo has always been my prefered brand of punk/post-punk. Snowing, TWIABP, Marietta (personal favorite).
I made a thread about talking heads lately, I know they're not really punk in the purest sense but they more punk (the kind of punk I give a shit about) than the fucking sex pistols, that's for sure. -
2015-10-26 at 5:37 AM UTC in Do rainbows exist objectively?
Colour doesn't exist - at least not in the literal sense. Light, however, does exist, and it's the mind that transforms that light into colour. In this image the two squares appear to be a different colour, but if you place your finger across the middle of the blocks you can see they are the same colour.
What do you think "literally existing" even means? What does it mean for something to exist in a literal sense? This is not supposed a platitude or point out some intractable ambiguity, I ask you because your account of what "exists" will have to tell us why things like light, something totally imperceptible directly and ambitious on a quantum level, is real while things like color, a property of light, which is widely experienced and corroborated, somehow does not exist. If light exists, and it has properties (wavelength aka color) how is it real and it's properties are somehow unreal? -
2015-10-26 at 4:33 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionBeen in a weird headspace for the last... few weeks I guess. Probably shouldn't have but I took some 4-AcO-DMT. 10mg thinking it would be a very low dose (still seems like it shouldn't have been very strong). I was pretty anxious at first, came on stronger and faster than I was expecting, but then I went outside and just started wondering around. Surprisingly it was actually a lot of fun, I just walked around looking for high points where I could see the city and stuff. There are some nice neighborhoods that are hard to get to in the heart of the city with some really nice little parks and shit. Sorta came to (although I was perfectly lucid for the whole experience) two hours later and on the other side of the city. Finding my way back was kind of an adventure. I've never really done that before. Fun way to spend an afternoon at least, might have to try it again. Just hope I don't get arrested for being a bum in nice neighborhoods or something, would be awkward to explain.
