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Posts That Were Thanked by OMGPLZUNBAN
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2020-06-10 at 4:17 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-06-09 at 9:29 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!sorry for writing thatThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-06-09 at 9:29 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN This is the type of shit I'm looking for. Talking about stuff regular people don't want to acknowledge exist. You're alright. For a mexican.
Lol you should give it a read. Dude is incredibly delusional. His 'in' is as a photographer and he's supposed to be taking pictures for some dolphin training book. One day a dolphin rubs her pussy against his wetsuit and he gets a chub. this was in front of everyone and he talked about how he wish it could've gone farther.
After that the dolphin begins communicating with him and telling him that he's a lot more open than other humans. Evidently all dolphins have this power of telepathy but they choose not to use it because they think humans are boring.
Their relationship develops as he begins smoking more and more weed and getting more alone time with the dolphin. Eventually he gets a girlfriend and the dolphin gets PISSED and bites him in the water while he's trying to play. They talked this out through telepathy later. He ends up losing the girlfriend who he never told about any of this. Goes to her house to apologize and it's the most awkward fucking thing, he eventually gets kicked out for eating the crusty leftover bits on her stove. She's so fucking disgusted and he's just not understanding because 'it's perfectly good food'
Not sure where it is in the timeline but at one point the dolphin communicates with him and tries to show him what it's like to be a dolphin. He has a fucking blast eating fish and swimming freely through the ocean. Pages and pages of how amazing this psychedelic-like experience is.
He snaps out of it when his bed breaks and his roomate busts in the door. Evidently he was flopping around naked on his bed SO HARD that it broke. When his roomate comes in he lies and says he was just masturbating.
When he moves away the dolphin APPARENTLY died almost immediately after because of loneliness. Likely what happened is that the conditions in that park were so fucking bad because they were already in the process of shutting it down and shipping out their dolphins.
Most of the sex he has with the dolphin is just fingering but when he does actually fuck it, the whole thing happens underwater as this female dolphin is swimming away from male dolphins and apparently trying to protect his ass from them while also making sure he has enough air to keep on fucking her. This is the main reason I wanted to read the book. I expected just a dude who was into dolphins, you know? Maybe he would talk about social norms and shit. Maybe talk about dolphin vagina which is actually pretty cool because it's deep as hell and 3 chambered with suction/push power to keep out sea water/rapey dolphin dick. It's actually super muscular.
BUT NO
NO
none of that.
Dude was straight up mentally ill and the whole book was about telepathy and living as an animal and about how nobody understands him. I did not agree with his logic or reasoning at all and found it hard to keep reading but for some fucking reason I read the whole damn book except for some part where he talked about his new family life. I skipped ahead to the dolphin ghost scene.
Personally I would probably fuck a dolphin if I had the chance and I knew it wanted to. I had a dream about fucking a dolphin with a super dry vagina (?) when i was in highschool and I never really got over it. And the way this dude describes it, that dolphin was 100% coming on to him. His friends saw it too and it embarrassed the hell out of him. Like having your dog hump you at a party and you have to be like, "No Lucy, not here."The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-06-09 at 2:30 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!Reminder that everyone here should read 'Wet Goddess' which is a story about a schizophrenic man who manipulates his way into spending time with a dolphin alone so that he can fuck it and communicate with it telepathically later.
And at the end of the book he fucks the dolphin's ghost but this isn't as much of a spoiler as you'd think.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-06-05 at 6:58 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!But if you DOOOoooo have a tolerance, fentanyl is a cost effective and unproductive way to spend your week.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-06-04 at 9:22 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!I got out of jail, like not the way where you get bailed out, the way where you literally finish your time and they buzz your little cell intercom and say "Wren?" and you say as you wake up from an afternoon snooze, "w..what? Yeah? What?"
And they say "pack up your shit you're getting released." And you get a smile and a bounce to your step and everyone else starts looking at you with a hint of disdain because you're getting out of jail and they arent.
You pack up all your shit willy nilly. Just kinda throw it all into a bag because who cares. Sling it over your shoulder and walk to the EXIT with a guard escorting you. You, the guy who is getting out of jail.
But rewind three minutes to where you're sitting in the cell with all your whatevers packed into the bag and ready to go and they buzz you one more time.
"Wren? You still there? Bad news dude.. they forgot to check you for warrants and it turns out you have a hold up in grand forks so, yeah, you're not going anywhere."
That might be one of the shittiest feelings in the world.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-06-03 at 8:34 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!Meh, you're the one going on political rants in a lolcat thread. Sounds like typical commie shit. I'm over this topic and bouncing. Hopefully OMG gets back soon to get this longest thread back on track.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-06-03 at 4:01 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!I prefer to think of myself as a Gary Oldman or Daniel Day Lewis of THE GRAND STAGE that is LIFE
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2020-06-01 at 9:14 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN A lot of work but I save page 68. Radical shit posting terrorists tried to over take us but we hunkered down and did our duty. I thank everyone for their service. Both sides.
You're welcome. Me and the man who put it in my hood really came through here. Basically this thread would have never made it to page 69 without our high quality entertainment and efforts. We fucking rock.
You could learn a thing or two from us. I don't expect you to ever be half as funny or intelligent, but you could still learn a thing or two.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-06-01 at 12:02 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!Friend had a girl come over to tutor him at our party house during hs. Little did she know house was full of drunk and high delinquent dudes. She was a good sport, but drunk friend ended up making out with her and going u der her shirt to cup some titty.
He asked me afterwards if he had sexually assaulted her and i said “yeah i think so prolly”The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-05-31 at 9:53 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!So when I got out, it had already been over 4 and a half years since I got laid, been in a relationship, whatever. So naturally I turn to online dating, especially considering everything was getting put on lockdown because of the coronavirus.
Lots of dead ends, made a couple friends (although one isnt talking to me right now and I'm giving her some space, but I miss that girl, shes on a whole other level compared to most people I've met), and at that point there was one "woman" who I was talking to regularly. Someone who expressed interest in me and sounded like she wanted to continue going deeper.
Now, mind you, this woman, you would have never been able to tell she was ever a dude. She gave no hints other than asking me if I was open minded in the beginning. I asked her what she meant (which is basically obvious expression now to me) and she didnt explain.
She was Guatemala native, and there was a large translation gap between us so a lot of the things she would say I would chalk up to that. I guess I was naive about it, and maybe didnt want to think that there was any possibility for this person to be ts. I even remember at one point being slightly suspicious and from that moment held any emotional connection off until I knew for sure.
A couple weeks later it turned out that she was TS, and initially I got upset and asked her why she didnt tell me that at first. After a few moments reflection, I told her it was ok and that I understood, but that I just wasnt attracted to that type. She cried, and to he honest that TS was the most beautiful man I ever met and I dont give a fuck what ya'll think.
She was a good person, and not like most TS you meet who are all promiscuous and idk, you know how they act I guess.
My coworkers got a kick out of that story because they were following the whole thing along with me while i was talking to her. We all agreed that you would never had been able to tell unless she came out and said it.
Still single, still haven't been laid in 5 motha fuckin years. I'm chillin though, I'm not the type to force that type of thing and plus, I got the advantage to be picky about my next woman at this point.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-05-30 at 6:40 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by MexicanMasterRace He was breakdancing lol.
I have pics of actual ladyboys from a pride parade I went to in Taipei but I can't post them
Why, they underage or something?
I can't wait to go to Thailand in a few years. Not for the ladyboys, but my mentor says I'll basically be a rockstar over there and get all the pussy I want.
Going to have to learn how to detect men in disguise well before I do though. Ive already been duped once since i got out. 😑The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-05-29 at 8:11 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN You get the priveledge of my first upside down 100% custom free LOLcat. Working upsidedown was tricky but I feel I caught the mood and vibrance of your personality. Almost has a kafkaesque feel to it. Art deco if you will.
Its interesting that you say that... I had a acid/exctasy/mescaline trip that showed me the horrific terrors that await me at some point in the future.
Thank you!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-05-29 at 5:10 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-05-29 at 2:57 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!WTF this thread is garbage we want LOL cats or we're burning shitThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-05-28 at 11:25 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!PAGE 64 CELEBRATION
BEST THREAD ON EARTH AND OTHERWISE
!!! LIMITED TIME OFFER !!!
FIRST POSTER ON PAGE 65 WILL RECEIVE A HAND DRAWN DIGITAL IMAGE OF THEMSELVES POSTED RIGHT HERE IN THIS THREAD
LIMITED TIME OFFER ONLY. SOME RESTRICTIONS MAY APPLY. DO NOT POST IN THIS THREAD IF YOU ARE BREASTFEEDING, PREGNANT, OR MAY BE PREGNANT. SIDE EFFECTS FROM POSTING IN THIS THREAD INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO: HEADACHES, NAUSEA, GASTROINTESTINAL DISTRESS, DRUNKENESS, AND DEATH. PLEASE CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE POSTING IN THIS THREAD. DO NOT POST IN THIS THREAD WHILE OPERATING HEAVY MACHINERY.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-05-28 at 12:13 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-05-28 at 4:35 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!This project has inspired me to scream in the car. Its very cathartic. The other drivers seemed moved by my displays of empowerment.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-05-27 at 4:52 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by CASPER I think the new bit is a fucking retard trying to pitch ideas for a TV show to a studio agent. And your natural back and forth is the whole shtick. Momdead is the agent.
Reading my commentary with that in mind makes it so much funnier. I'm legit exasperated trying to help him stop being so self destructive towards himself. If I wasn't so fucked up the asshole with stress from all ends, I'd probably appreciate how funny me and OMG are more often. Thanks for pointing it out, it legit made me lulz.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-05-27 at 1:51 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by My Wife Is Dead What in your god damn mind was going on to convince you that talking to that woman and trying to convince her to watch your "not creepy" video was a good idea? You've said multiple times you're pretty sure she called the cops the first time, and watching the uncut footage, I'm pretty sure you're right.
If she HAD watched your "not creepy" video, do you think seeing you glaring at a camera while fully clothed and soaking wet in the shower is a good way to convince her you're not creepy? That video is like staring into the mind of a mental disorder. It's not even artistically disturbing, it's just straight mashed together like a psych ward patient's crayon drawings. If she had humored you and watched some of it, I can only imagine the creeping horror overcoming her as what little faith she had that you weren't a threat is shattered, all the while you're standing there proud and oblivious as fuck talking your incoherent and overconfident excited drunk ramblings over the clip so she can't even hear the comedy in the phone calls-just fragmented tones of people directing hatred at you. It sounds like you're actually LUCKY she wanted nothing to do with you. I've known you for like 2 decades, and even knowing the whole story, I think you're fucking creepy. I can't even imagine how you thought talking to her could have panned out in anything but raising her alarms further.
I'd like to say I'm surprised, but I'm really not. What the hell, dude?
I think the new bit is a fucking retard trying to pitch ideas for a TV show to a studio agent. And your natural back and forth is the whole shtick. Momdead is the agent.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
