User Controls
Posts by OMGPLZUNBAN
-
2019-12-21 at 8:24 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!A long time ago. A very long time ago. Maybe 15 years. I was just meeting Poast through MomDead and we were slowly becoming best friends. Because he live a lot closer to me than WifeDead. We were in town, Poast, WifeDead and I. We were walking the streets with a fire extinguiser. I thought it would be funny to blast Poast a little bit with it and we would all continue with our shenanigans.
Wrong.
Poast got immediately pissed and ran to me and ripped the extinguisher from my hands and just started blasting my with it in the middle of the street yelling, "Once the seal is broken you have to use it all!" So I got blasted head to toe in some anti-fire powder. Lesson learned.
Years later I was sleeping on a guys floor with a thick sleeping bag. Wooden floors. Great for your back. I thank those three years to why I'm still roofing and my back isn't fukt.
Anyways, we had a fire extinguisher in the room. A drunken good buddy of ours aimed it at me and sprayed it. He claimed he thought the safety was on. "Do you realize what you have done?!" The seal was broken so I ran outside the over 100 year old house and just aimed it at the street to not waste the thing. I was blowing the thing at an angle to the ground and it was bouncing up covering houses.
I didn't let up though. I just kept spraying it until it ran out. Towards the end, after it covered three or four houses the guy who let me live on his floor in a burly sleeping bag ran out and was about to kick my ass. So I dropped it and booked it. I think I stayed at Poasts moms house where MomDead was living until he cooled down.
You should've seen that street when I was blowing. It covered the entire thing. It was more beautiful than that gay ass bag blowing in a breeze. It was fucking everywhere. Literally bouncing off the pavement into the air. I couldn't stop. It was awesome.
Remind me to tell you the story of when that guy threw two rocks and busted out four car windows, I got him to come back home and bombed down a hill to land on my face. -
2019-12-19 at 9:53 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
-
2019-12-19 at 9:19 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
-
2019-12-19 at 7:26 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
-
2019-12-19 at 6:57 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!I fukt it up. My bad:
-
2019-12-19 at 6:55 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!Page 27?! No fucking way! We're actually doing it! Hot dog!
-
2019-12-19 at 6:32 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
-
2019-12-19 at 6:47 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!Miles down the road on this destitute journey, Poast and I are mobbing down the hill in my shitty beat up Camaro. It was my first car and I didn’t give a shit about it. We used to browse free piles just to find large objects to hit at full speed.
The first time I hit something was Poast saying, "It'd be funny if you hit that construction triangle thing." I just veered over and it blew out of the way. We laughed and the destruction begun.
The worst time is when we were driving back to Poasts house. It was dark and we noticed a fat girl from school walking with some faggot. I had recently grabbed a full case of encyclopedias and had them in the back seat. So we turned around and as we got close, Poast threw one of the books out at their heads.
Poast claims he hit the girl based on her scream but I don't think he did. I think she screamed at the abrupt chaos that went down.
We both agree on one thing from that night though. When that book was thrown, I speeded up and we sunk into our seats. -
2019-12-19 at 6:36 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by Poast Miles down the road on this destitute journey, OMG and I are mobbing up the hill in his shitty beat up Camaro. It was his first car and he didn’t give a shit about it. We used to browse free piles just to find large objects to hit at full speed. The best we ever found was an old grandfather clock. But that’s another story. So we’re heading up the hill to his place, when we realize his redneck brother, and a truck full of his friends, are going slow in front of us. They’re all cooler than us because they have a bigger gang, we’re reject stoners at this stage. In the back window of their pickup, they’re all jeering at us and flipping us the bird, daring us to tempt fate. OMG is older than me, but I out rank him in experience so he does whatever I say to an extent. I tell him, “ram them.” He looks over at me hesitantly, and asked if I meant what I said. I nod, this is our moment to show these rednecks we’re crazier than they are. OMG puts on his game face, buckles down, and speeds up significantly, smashing into the rear end of whoever’s truck was driving OMG’s brother up the hill. Their truck lightly fishtails, but they regain control. The whole demeanor in the truck has changed, they went from jeering and on top of the world, to absolutely ass blasted. These are rednecks we’re talking about, their trucks are their life blood. At this point all of them are hanging out the window screaming that they’re gonna kick our asses. We didn’t give a fuck. They were pussies, because they never kicked our asses. And what we did in that moment goes down as legend between OMG and I.
Holy fuck I forgot about that! I can't wait to remind my brother tomorrow! That was fucking tits! -
2019-12-19 at 6:04 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by Poast Homemade History.
The first time I met Poast.
I was walking in a mall with a soda cup. Recognized WifeDead and went over to say hi because I hadn't seen him in a while. I put my drink on some some dumb 50 cent chair that vibrates you or some gay shit. Poast said, "Did you just set that down without planning to ever pick it up again?"
It was truly love at first sight.
I think that same day we went to MomDeads room and Poast found a phonebook and got excited. I was confused as I watched these two degenerates rip it in half as I followed them to a cliff over highway 101 and throw it into oncoming traffic while I ran like a bitch.
So my destitute journey began. -
2019-12-18 at 7:42 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by -SpectraL Probably thought the hose was a snake.
I woke up the next day in my bed shirtless. I was a fat kid and never rocked the shirtless style. My dad asks me, "How was your night son?"
'Oh shit!' I thought. 'How much does he know?' Then I had a realization. 'How much do I know?'
And my family remembers Poast but not WifeDead. Even though WifeDead kinda got kidnapped for three days to help roof my parents house for $5 and all the soda he could drink. But that's another story. -
2019-12-18 at 2:51 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
-
2019-12-18 at 2:27 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!One time Poasts buddy was leaving town. To Hawaii or some gay place. He wanted to see his buddies one last time and I was Poasts plus one.
This guy was the dude who tried to show Poast how to be cool and I was always a loser trying to fit in. One time we went to record some music at the radio station he was working at. It was terrible and nothing came from it but the vocals were clean. Something I've never been able to do. He was driving me home and he had Linkin Park on. Now's my chance to be deep. Or so I thought. I sperged out, "Dude it doesn't matter if it matters or not even if nothing else matters." I cringe now but at that moment I took the awkward silence as them deep reflecting. I still stand by that statement.
So this guy is leaving for good, and Poast gets wasted and just starts talking shit. Super bad. I'm trying to retard wrangle him in but it led to one of the best quotes I've ever heard;
"The flood gates are up. This is just seepage."
He wasn't wrong. Just out of control. There were a bunch of people looking to have a good time and Poast ruined it. If I remember correctly I just took him somewhere where that type of humor was allowed. -
2019-12-18 at 2:16 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by aldra Here's a story I just remembered the other day for some reason:
My friend David used to go to primary school with Stephen. One day they're sitting in David's living room watching TV and his mother quietly walks in behind them, trying to cross into the kitchen without being noticed but Stephen says hi and notices she's carrying what looks like a gift box.
Being kids who watched too much TV Stephen starts singing the themesong for 'what's in the box', Dave's mum goes white as a fucking ghost. Dave thinks it's funny so he starts singing it as well, and they press her to show them.
It was a dead cat she'd accidentally run over, and it was in a christmas box because it was the only thing it'd fit in that she found in the back of her car.
As promised, a story gets more free 100% custom LOLcats!
-
2019-12-17 at 6:01 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
-
2019-12-16 at 5:04 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
-
2019-12-15 at 5:05 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by Poast This is bullshit. OMG just got banned on both accounts for making himself and everyone else 100% custom lolcats. Lanny what the fuck? PLZUNBAN is bringing us quality content. So what if he’s talking to himself.
FREE OMGPLZDNTBAN.
I don't know that other cat. What kind of games are you playing? -
2019-12-15 at 8:54 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
-
2019-12-15 at 8:43 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
-
2019-12-15 at 8:28 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
