2019-12-19 at 6:38 AM UTC
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2019-12-19 at 6:47 AM UTC
Miles down the road on this destitute journey, Poast and I are mobbing down the hill in my shitty beat up Camaro. It was my first car and I didn’t give a shit about it. We used to browse free piles just to find large objects to hit at full speed.
The first time I hit something was Poast saying, "It'd be funny if you hit that construction triangle thing." I just veered over and it blew out of the way. We laughed and the destruction begun.
The worst time is when we were driving back to Poasts house. It was dark and we noticed a fat girl from school walking with some faggot. I had recently grabbed a full case of encyclopedias and had them in the back seat. So we turned around and as we got close, Poast threw one of the books out at their heads.
Poast claims he hit the girl based on her scream but I don't think he did. I think she screamed at the abrupt chaos that went down.
We both agree on one thing from that night though. When that book was thrown, I speeded up and we sunk into our seats.
2019-12-19 at 8:21 AM UTC
You’re confusing me with Poo Bear. I stayed home that night.
2019-12-19 at 6:32 PM UTC
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2019-12-19 at 6:55 PM UTC
Page 27?! No fucking way! We're actually doing it! Hot dog!
2019-12-19 at 6:57 PM UTC
STER0S
Space Nigga
[the disappointingly unanticipated slab]
i suck at stories.
may i have another LOLcat of buckethead since it's almost christmas?
pwease?
2019-12-19 at 7:26 PM UTC
Originally posted by STER0S
i suck at stories.
may i have another LOLcat of buckethead since it's almost christmas?
pwease?
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2019-12-19 at 9:18 PM UTC
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
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2019-12-19 at 9:19 PM UTC
Originally posted by TOTALLYNOTOMGPLZDNTBAN
Goddam what a thread!
I know right?! How did OP pull this off?!
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2019-12-19 at 9:19 PM UTC
Originally posted by SrslyNOTOMGPLZDNTBAN
I know right?! How did OP pull this off?!
Reel them in with 100% custom free LOLcats, stay for the friends.
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2019-12-19 at 9:26 PM UTC
-SpectraL
coward
[the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
Spiced a mite too heavily with echo chamber for my liking.
2019-12-21 at 7:23 AM UTC
I’m redeeming a story for additional lolcats.
I once knew this nigger named G who was an absolute nigger like a gigantic nigger.
His mom was a super diversity black neighborhood council mucketymuck and she had a ton of money and they lived 8n Baldwin Hills.
G was just an absolute garbage person mostly bc he knew his mom would bail him out.
He went to Beverly Hills high, and as the token black kid, started his own crip “set” entitled Beverly Hills Baby Gangster Crips. I once had the pleasure of witnessing one of his friends tell him during a gun deal that he needed to stop running his mouth about shit “on neighborhood”, bc he wasn’t a fucking crip, he was driving his moms car, and we had just returned from his college tutoring session.
Anyway G is a huuuuuuuge dumpster fire. Just as a handful of quick examples, he made his Mexican gf give him head in a crowded restaurant full of people while he smoked a foil of heroin, and then proceeded to urinate beer piss all over every seat in the back row of INDIANA JONES AND THE K8NGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL which he procla8med to be “white people shit”. He was probably right. He also had some of the worst hygiene I’ve ever seen in my life. He smelled like constant BO despite wearing $1500 outfits. He reached in his pants to scratch his balls constantly and always wanted to hit your blunt. He threw up multiple times a day. Just nasty nasty fucking dude.
Anyway I get a call fro his gf one night and she’s frantic and needs me there. Not wanting to lose one of my best customers, I head over.
I get there and she answers the door with a bloody mouth. I walk inside and he’s at the kitchen sink, eyes closed drooling, eating a piece of fried kpchicken with one hand and lazily masturbating with the other. They got in a fight when she wouldn’t give him the last of her heroin, so he then took the heroin, did the rest of the cocaine, took some ambien, and then 8 expired sample packs of Zyprexa that he had for some strange reason. So now he’s sleepwalking, completely unconscious! Eating chicken and jerking off.For years I had a whole drawer full of 2007 zyprexa covered I black char melted balloons and baking soda, bc steph asked me to take all the stuff that night.
But yeah. Way to be a stereotype bro.
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2019-12-21 at 8:24 AM UTC
A long time ago. A very long time ago. Maybe 15 years. I was just meeting Poast through MomDead and we were slowly becoming best friends. Because he live a lot closer to me than WifeDead. We were in town, Poast, WifeDead and I. We were walking the streets with a fire extinguiser. I thought it would be funny to blast Poast a little bit with it and we would all continue with our shenanigans.
Wrong.
Poast got immediately pissed and ran to me and ripped the extinguisher from my hands and just started blasting my with it in the middle of the street yelling, "Once the seal is broken you have to use it all!" So I got blasted head to toe in some anti-fire powder. Lesson learned.
Years later I was sleeping on a guys floor with a thick sleeping bag. Wooden floors. Great for your back. I thank those three years to why I'm still roofing and my back isn't fukt.
Anyways, we had a fire extinguisher in the room. A drunken good buddy of ours aimed it at me and sprayed it. He claimed he thought the safety was on. "Do you realize what you have done?!" The seal was broken so I ran outside the over 100 year old house and just aimed it at the street to not waste the thing. I was blowing the thing at an angle to the ground and it was bouncing up covering houses.
I didn't let up though. I just kept spraying it until it ran out. Towards the end, after it covered three or four houses the guy who let me live on his floor in a burly sleeping bag ran out and was about to kick my ass. So I dropped it and booked it. I think I stayed at Poasts moms house where MomDead was living until he cooled down.
You should've seen that street when I was blowing. It covered the entire thing. It was more beautiful than that gay ass bag blowing in a breeze. It was fucking everywhere. Literally bouncing off the pavement into the air. I couldn't stop. It was awesome.
Remind me to tell you the story of when that guy threw two rocks and busted out four car windows, I got him to come back home and bombed down a hill to land on my face.
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