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2016-02-11 at 1:33 AM UTC in I actually miss ZokletMostly because the internet is so shitty now. I hate social media for obvious reasons, reddit and youtube are full of faggots and chans are bullshit, everyone has the same username and you can't tell them apart because they're all autistic.
Zoklet was a pretty lame spinoff of toste but it was actually entertaining for a while.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2015-12-04 at 8:15 AM UTC in My idea for a movieIt's been a long time since theres been any good horror anthologies besides the vhs movies. heres my Idea for a short film within a film. ( and by the way I will constantly edit this) (play the videos in order as you read this for full effect)
It stars a couple dudes, mark whalberg, and mila kunavich the chick from that seventies show
with this song opening the movie
back in the 1950's marky mark moves to japan because its much more profitable for an american to work as a waiter there. (think the man in the high castle)
he's taking a break with his ol chum waitier, smoking a ciggiweed behind the chinese resteraunt, while his buddy complains about not getting enough pussy despite being a big american man in china.. some people can never get enough i guess..
They overlook a cliff and continue their conversation, suddenly giant ghost rabbits with wild eyes start jumping up to the top of the cliff from the bottom over it and sprinting... then comes a wavve of giant ghost draculas doing the same, all the while they are just freaked out standing to the side witnessing this.
It stops.. and markymark exclaims "what the fuck was that shit man?!" and then out of no fucking where a wavve of ghost king kongs come up to the top of the cliff rampaging. mila kunavich comes out to bitch about how they are a couple of lazy faggots, one of the ghost king kongs grabs her and she starts screaming.
The ghost ape carries her to the top of a really tall space needle kinda building and starts screaming, marky mark and his friend are standing down stairs with the army of japan pointing their rifels, yelling "get the fuck down from there ape!" but they still have the draculas protecting the building so they cant get to close.
They have no other choice but to set their souls apart from their body and build turrets within range
They start shooting, its a very dramatic scene. The ape falls along with mila kunavich, automatic turrets placed on the ground not ony turning king kong but mila kuavich into into hamburger meat.
They lay dead and bloody in eachothers arms as marky mark rushes up to see the deadly scene. his glistening eyes show that all hope is lost.. the credits end with this song
so what do you guys think?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2015-10-22 at 4:23 PM UTC in My cousin died this morning>There's a wisdom to your sadness.
Most powerful sentence of all-time.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2015-09-30 at 3:40 AM UTC in Bill Krozby
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2015-09-29 at 12:47 PM UTC in scariest sexual experience?getting drunk with this weird guy from my old church, hazily recall getting mad and telling him to suck my dick and him telling me he would do it and to drop my pants. I laughed it off but it made me quite uncomfortable so I waited til he passed out and stole two thousand dollars from him. Ha.
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2015-09-09 at 6:25 AM UTC in Anyone try smoking T-PAIN?Lately I've been about crushing up like 11-12 50mg wellbutrins and mixing them in an oil-based paste with about 20 abilifies and 5 tylenols, and you let them dissolve for a bit and then they begin to synthesize into this metabolite-rich powdery deal, and then you add in 2 pieces of white bread (the heels) and you let those dissolve in the mixture, and you then you cook it all at 350 degrees for exactly 8 minutes and 25 seconds and take it out immediately putting in the freezer for the same 8 minutes and 25 seconds. Take it out and let it sit at room temp for a few minutes and add one more piece of white bread and 6 more liquified tylenols and just this dash of spice on time for garnish, and then you just like, you just like eat it with a spoon or your hand but you need to eat it all fairly quickly because the chemical properties disappear pretty quickly otherwise unless you get it inside your body where they flourish, so try to eat the mixture within 5 minutes I'd say had the best results for me personally.
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2015-09-04 at 8:02 AM UTC in Was "I have Ashley's address" saga the cringefest of the year?I asked her if she ever wonders if the life she's in is a dream and her dreams are the real world
"well we as catholics are supposed to believe we are judged first"
Then I asked her if the past is merging into the future and the present
"Idk I mean maybe"
She was on vocabulary worksheets level E when she was 12.
Her response though is just "I'm not smart." it's so cute I just want to bite her little butt. I have no idea how I never realized the person I was talking to is borderline mentally retarded except cocktail for indiscriminate hitting on kittens that become your BFF and you guys do all sorts of things you don't remember at all and you couldn't even remember her name for the first week
Now she's all like Munchausens and favoriting love songs all the time and songs about break ups, like what the fuck girl do you realize what I said to you even.
Then when she's 16 I'll confess my love to her, take her virginity, and never, ever call her again. It will be the most epic pwn ever.
We hug mafia nowThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2015-09-03 at 3:42 AM UTC in Revised shoplifting guideI haven't done this in a long time, well not seriously anyway, and a lot of this was done during the 20th century, so it may not be so up-to-date, but here is a guide I wrote and posted elsewhere, slightly revised:
Have a plan, know what you are going to get before you go in and do not deviate. I used to find the nearest meth dealer and offer my services. Some of them are car guys, and some of them need lithium batteries, and some of them just know a lot of people. I would get lists of stuff and fill them like santa, for 20% of retail price. Auto parts stores, hardware stores, department stores, the best places didn't have source tags. But I did most of my work during the 1990's before that technology was widespread, and I never got big-ticket items so never used the wierd detaggers and tools you kids use nowadays.
First of all, never get so desperate that you can't walk away if something doesn't feel right. You can always go one town over and probably find an identical store. but you can't take it back if you get caught.
Wear something unobtrusive, in neutral light blues or greys. Do not wear anything 'trendy'. Do not wear 'tennis shoes' or 'sneakers' or whatever the fuck they call them. Do not wear combat boots or any sort of boots. If you do not have a decent pair of shoes, spend twenty bucks and get some cheap ass ones that fit from pay-less, some black or brown dress shoes or 'loafer' type shoes. Leave your identification at home, and carry any money you have. All of it. I will get into why later.
To be successful, you will need to be somewhat of an actor. Not a 'face' actor, working with emotions, and expressions...you will be a 'body' actor, and you will have two 'modes' or 'characters'....the 'normal shopper' and 'the lifter'...the normal shopper does most of the work and the lifter only comes out for a second, when the moment is right. After the lifter does its work, the normal shopper takes over, this time with a 'I left my money in my car' role as you make your way out of the store.
As part of your 'body actor' training, get into the habit of 'using your peripherals' instead of turning your head...don't have a 'head on a swivel' response, it looks guilty and is a body language 'tell'. 'Normal shoppers' don't look around exaggeratedly before shoving a fucking steak into their jacket. I have a friend who's 'style' is exactly like that, and he is visually striking as well. He is 6'2" and resembles a dick tracy thug, with a face like a bad apple. Usually drunk, he staggers through the store like a Frankenstein's monster clad in a carhart. I suspect that any success he has is primarily due to the store employees fear of confronting him than anything else.
When parking, it is best to park in another store's parking lot, or somewhere off the property. Don't be an idiot and park in a place that will call attention to your vehicle, or someplace that might get you a parking ticket or something. If you are lazy or can't find anywhere else to park, then make sure you leave the car unlocked, keys in the car, easily retrievable but not in the ignition. This is so, if you get caught, the cops won't go look for your car and search it when they search you and find your keys.
Enter the store doing the 'normal shopper' thing. Don't hurry, take your time. Get a cart. Always, get a cart. The action of pushing the cart around and putting items into it just reinforces the 'normal shopper' act.
Follow the natural arc of the store, going right from the entrance and around part of the outside perimeter before going anywhere else. If in doubt, just follow what the other shoppers are doing. Pick up a few items on the way, larger items like bread or a bunch of bright bananas. Part of shoplifting is misdirection...like the times I used to get dozens of tins of poppy seeds at once. Small, two oz. tins. It would look suspicious walking around with a cart full of poppy seed tins, so I would use bags of chips or bright colored items to conceal or draw the eye away from them, to call less attention to myself. Once you find the item you are after, get it and put it into the cart for later concealment.
All this time, even when acquiring the item, keep up the 'normal shopper' act. Since you haven't yet done anything wrong, you still technically are a 'normal shopper'. Once you find your targeted item, if you are acquiring multiple items at once, get as many as you can with one hand rather than using two hands to get multiple items from off the shelf. It just makes a different body language profile and looks out of place in a store setting to be grabbing multiple items from store shelves with both hands.
Once the items are in the cart, your next step is to find an empty aisle. I suggest the 'chip' aisle if you can, or any 'freezer' aisles that are not around the outside wall of the store where the dairy is kept (they can see through the windows of the dairy section).
find an aisle with no one in it, and, with the least amount of movement possible, conceal the item while using natural types of movements, like disguising it as scratching an itch or putting away a cell phone.
I would do it while wheeling the cart with one hand, walking, concealing the item with the other. No one thinks anything of a guy pushing a cart down an aisle. It is much different than the usual 'open coat, shove item down front of pants, close coat' exaggerated movement of most shoplifters.
Nothing wrong with shoving an item down the front of your pants, mind you, but you can do it smoothly, without exaggerated movements. Another good concealment place is under your arm, as long as you don't drop the item (Who threw that at me?) and can keep your shoulders loose and normal looking. As stupid as it sounds, practicing this stuff at home might help.
large potted plants or items like cheap coffeemakers are good places to conceal smaller, expensive items like lithium batteries or drill bits/dremel parts...just stick them in the soil or open the box and put them inside, then close it again. Just make sure to find the kind of box that opens easily without being taped. You can always return the plant or boxed item later.
Store credit can be useful, and sometimes I would steal expensive items just to return it. In wintertime, a couple of bottles of expensive olive oil, or cake decorating items, make plausible returns...'My wife sent me to get this stuff but I got the wrong kind and now she is pissed'...most times the store employees don't care, but it is always good to have a story. I would get items, walk to my car, change my hat and shirt, and go right fucking back in there and return them. Never had any problems.
I wouldn't worry about any cameras, as once you conceal the item, you should just leave. If you don't hang around, they won't have enough time to mobilize against you. Oftentimes, once I concealed my item, I would abandon the cart and leave the store. You know, because I left my wallet in my car. Or because I forgot my money at home. Or just because I changed my mind. Normal shoppers do that sometimes. You are just a normal shopper, remember?
While leaving the store, you can be doing something like looking down at your cellphone with a concerned look on your face, or holding and paying attention to, and possibly counting money, sort of like 'I only brought three dollars in with me? I can't believe it!' or something. It really doesn't matter, its just a prop, something to keep you from looking less like a guilty shoplifter leaving the store, and more like a busy, harried, confused, dorky, normal shopper.
Some people say that you should buy something when leaving, to blend in better or allay suspicion. I did once in a great while, but only because I was so good that I knew there was no goddamn way anyone was going to catch me (I have been wrong before, but I always got away). I would say don't do it, it won't help you at best, and will allow them time to find and detain you at worst
If you do end up buying something, and you have an item down your front, or bulging in a pocket, you can sort of hold the bag that you just purchased in between you and any onlookers. Be subtle about it, though...don't awkwardly hold it over your front, and bring attention to yourself.
Once you leave the store, walk quickly to the general vicinity of where you parked, but do not go directly to your car. Walk past it, and keep going for a fair bit, then turn around and check if you are being followed before 'sheepishly' going back to the car you 'lost' and were so 'busy' and 'harried' that you just 'walked right past it'in the parking lot. This is to avoid leading store employees or loss prevention to your car, which will be searched and possibly towed if the police get involved.
As soon as you get in the car, even if not 'chased', hit the 'door lock'. This has saved my ass before, seriously. I have had store employees literally open my doors and try to drag me out of the car.
This article is written under the assumption that the reader does not plan to submit if confronted by store employees. The author of this article does not advocate any sort of violence or resistance, but does hope that you get away.
If caught, realize that this was always a possibility, as you are indeed committing a crime by planning and carrying out any sort of retail larceny. In some jurisdictions, planning to shoplift is a felony. If you are carrying money with you, then you can claim that the theft was 'spur of the moment', and will get in less trouble.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2015-08-28 at 3:58 AM UTC in attack of the ratchSo yeah. I woke up, told her her shit was packed, said mean things, she cried hysterically, started cleaning my place naked, tied her hands in some black belt whip type thing she found wrapped it around me andraped me. Everyone tells me to stop fucking with her and I feel dumb for doing so.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2015-08-25 at 5:31 PM UTC in A challenge to specktroll
[SIZE=20px]*wink wink*[/SIZE]
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2015-08-10 at 12:55 AM UTC in Who here masturbates to pictures of them self?Believe it or not, but I actually have tons of times. I'm the only guy I've ever masturbated to. I think its because I have a girlish figureThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2015-08-07 at 12:49 PM UTC in Bill Krozby's joke threadI finnally started balling again and I was selling exxos by the UT campus and I was able to have a 3sum with 2 girls. We basically had sex all night and fell asleep at 10 am. But my dad who's in the military who pays my rent just randomly showed up and opened the door and walked in. He's like "goddamn son, it smells like goddamn asshole in here?! Wanna get some pancakes?
It was very awakard with these 2 girls and I having pancakes at the waffle house with him...
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I was at a party with my now ex gf with her trendy friends with generic tattoos, she got really drunk and squatted wearing a mini skirt, over a dudes face that was passed out... people were taking pictures and posting them on facebook
Because I'm known to be an asshole I decided to talk to her in private. I said "wtf are you doing babe? you're embarassing me and we just got back together, you said you're "broken" but I figured you'd give me a little respect since you said you missed me.
She said "ohhhhh commmon Bill Krozbyler, we're just having fun, lighten up fly boi.!"
So when she came home from work (i dont have a job) I was fucking a hooker on our bed. She starting yelling and screaming and pulling out her hair, I said
"whats wrong hun we're just having fun? It was cheap it was good... You knew I was a fly boi when you met me...
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I asked my gf if I could titty fuck her, and she said "whats in it for me? it doesn't sound like it would do anything for me."
I said "well when I cum I will stop punching you in the face."
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what do you call the black ghost's favorite cereal?
BOO BERRY
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i woke up early because I had dry mouth from drinking earlier in the night. I went to go sit on the toilet and I sat on my cat who was drinking from the bowl, I pushed his head in slightly and yelled "goddamnit bubba! "
My parents called me and asked how I was doing doing, I said I'm doing alright, just chillin. (even though a cat just scratched my asshole)The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2015-08-04 at 7:16 PM UTC in Roshambo's Trianglism Comics
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2015-08-04 at 1:44 AM UTC in Who here masturbates to pictures of them self?Who the fuck masturbates to pictures anymore? I personally stroke it to videos of me stroking it to videos of me stroking it, with a mirror in front of me and behind me.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2015-07-31 at 9:11 PM UTC in New attack to de-anonymize hidden services or TOR users.
[INDENT] The researchers’ attack requires that the adversary’s computer serve as the guard on a Tor circuit. Since guards are selected at random, if an adversary connects enough computers to the Tor network, the odds are high that, at least on some occasions, one or another of them would be well-positioned to snoop.
During the establishment of a circuit, computers on the Tor network have to pass a lot of data back and forth. The researchers showed that simply by looking for patterns in the number of packets passing in each direction through a guard, machine-learning algorithms could, with 99 percent accuracy, determine whether the circuit was an ordinary Web-browsing circuit, an introduction-point circuit, or a rendezvous-point circuit. Breaking Tor’s encryption wasn’t necessary.
Furthermore, by using a Tor-enabled computer to connect to a range of different hidden services, they showed that a similar analysis of traffic patterns could identify those services with 88 percent accuracy. That means that an adversary who lucked into the position of guard for a computer hosting a hidden service, could, with 88 percent certainty, identify it as the service’s host.
Similarly, a spy who lucked into the position of guard for a user could, with 88 percent accuracy, tell which sites the user was accessing.
[/INDENT]
http://arstechnica.com/security/2015/07/new-attack-on-tor-can-deanonymize-hidden-services-with-surprising-accuracy/
Interesting, what is also interesting i read an article about a group of Russian hackers who had compromised an exit node in such a way that it dynamically added malware as user would download files through it.
I think this was the article.
http://securityaffairs.co/wordpress/29589/cyber-crime/tor-exit-node-serves-malware.html -
2015-07-28 at 3:44 AM UTC in I'm gheyMy milkshake brings all the boys to the yardThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2015-07-24 at 5:12 AM UTC in So i told my GF i am attracted to little girls the other day.Fuck there isn't even a reply function in the PMs. Got DANG man. Anyway sopheypoo my type is any girl with a distinguishable flaw that doesn't ruin the overall work. If your girl has a big ass scar on the other side of her face, I'd be into her, BIG TIME.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2015-07-10 at 8:11 AM UTC in HB CULTURE OF DRUGS aND GUNSdeluxe editionThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2015-07-04 at 5:03 PM UTC in Rocklin is on suicide watch
where have fanglegay and cocklin got to now?
Probably sucking each other off one last time before they kill themselves.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
