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2023-08-06 at 12:50 PM UTC in troons r good and u shud treat me like a girl >:(
Originally posted by aldra just out of curiosity, what made you choose THE LIFE™?
are you one of those autogynephilic types who got a boner dressing up in mother's clothes?
did you feel inadequate or distant from masculinity growing up?
did you get wariated?
I get that the usual answer is just going to be 'I feel more like a woman than a man' but that's so trite and subjective I have to imagine there's more to it than that
I've probably told this story a few times here, definitely told it elsewhere, but the long and short of it is... a couple things. The one I like to cling to because it's cute and innocent is the time I had a dream in which I was a girl, back when I was probably like... 6 or 7? Had to be that young, because it was when my grandpa was still alive. I was just really fucking happy in that dream, man. So happy, in fact, that I remember asking my grandpa what I could do to make sure I had the same dream as before. Basically: it was such a profound experience that it made me want to pursue something akin to lucid dreaming a decade before I even learned what that was. He suggested "thinking about it really hard" as I fell asleep, and I basically did that every night for months until I gave up (because it never worked) .
In case you're wondering I don't think I actually told him what the dream was about, but could be that I was just so young he didn't think of it as unusual. idk. Shit, I might have even technically been as young as 5, now that I think about it - I think he passed in Feb 97. In which case I woulda been 6 but that only would have been true for a few months. He was hospitalized for a bit toward the end, and I'm pretty sure he was still living at his house when I asked him how I could relive a dream.
I did try wearing my moms shoes at one point and got scolded hard. I still remember the difference in vibe that scolding had. Or something. It was weird, because they couldn't really explain why it was bad - just one of this things - and because I guess there seemed to be a tinge of fear in the scolding? Like the fact that they couldn't really communicate why it was bad scared them? IDK. This was also pre-puberty, so no: no boners.
After that scolding and the vibe it had (there's something extra bad about getting in trouble in a way that you think scared your parents as opposed to just making them mad), I was pretty staunchly - one might even go as far as to say overcompensatingly - gender conforming, at least until a couple of years into puberty when I... uhh... I definitely started to do things which would support an armchair diagnosis of autogynephilia.
It's just like... always been a thing for me, dude. Practically my whole ass life. Even while I was being "staunchly gender conforming", that was only an outward thing. This is in the land of quasi-autogynephilic reasons that led to me transitioning, but like... I'm prone to magical thinking, right? I think that's fairly evident in a lot of the shit I've posted recently. So imagine you're a magical thinker at some point before actually hitting puberty, and you suddenly started to tingle down there - not a full on boner, just a weird sensation. Yeah, my ass got giddy that I might be transforming. I actually had that sensation a few times throughout puberty, looooong after popping boners was the norm, and still... every time I felt it, I'd kinda get this vain hope that... maybe? Maybe this time..?
I learned about HRT at 17 and that was pretty much it for me. Once I knew I had that option, this outcome was pretty much inevitable. My biggest regret is putting it off from 17-25 because I "wasn't sure" and was scared that I'd be too ugly for literally anyone to find attractive and it wouldn't make me happier (thankfully I was wrong on both counts). Hindsight is 20/20.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2023-08-06 at 12:02 PM UTC in troons r good and u shud treat me like a girl >:(basically if trans = unloveable woman
any trait that a woman sees in herself and a trans woman will become a mark of shame. this is kinda the status quo, people already use mistaking them for trans as a way to manipulate the emotions of women in pointless ways, but you could actually harness this for your benefit on a societal scale with trans acceptance (as women) but not trans acceptance (as good women).The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2023-08-06 at 12 PM UTC in troons r good and u shud treat me like a girl >:(we could be friends but I wouldn't respect your pronouns or fuck you
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2023-07-24 at 11:33 AM UTC in Coming out of retirementAfter 10 years if being retired (yes I retired at 51) I've decided to do something. I'm buying a successful popular bar and grill in Kingman Arizona.
The asking price is $650,000. The owner is financing. I'm coming with $200,000 down and he is going to carry $450,000 for 15 years with a nallon payment option after 10 years and no penalty fir early payoff.
It has a class 12 liquor license which men's the sales must be a minimum of 40% food. Currently it's averages 57% food and 43% liquor with a total gross sales average of about $250,000 per month. My payments will be about $3500 per month.
I'm getting a turn key operations complete with staff, management, stock, a loyal customer base which all know and like me, 5 acres of property with ample parking, and all recipes. I do have to sign an NDA on his Jack Daniels beans.
Anyhow this is all set to close on or before September 1st. Once I have they keys I'll let you know where it is and what it's called. That way the internet tuff guyz can vist anytime they wish.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2023-07-23 at 11:33 PM UTC in I want you to stretch my rectum so bad that, afterward, I will be able to shit twice as much, twice as fast...Wellhung is having a Mid Life Issue
I think he misses his Gam Gan
:(
Oh mother, I can feel
The soil falling over my head
And as I climb into an empty bed
Oh well, enough said
I know it's over, still I cling
I don't know where else I can go
Oh...
Oh mother, I can feel
The soil falling over my head
See, the sea wants to take me
The knife wants to slit me
Do you think you can help me?
Sad veiled bride, please be happy
Handsome groom, give her room
Loud, loutish lover, treat her kindly
Though she needs you more than she loves you
And I know it's over, still I cling
I don't know where else I can go
Over and over and over and over
Over and over
I know it's over and it never really began
But in my heart it was so real
And you even spoke to me and said
"If you're so funny
Then why are you on your own tonight?
And if you're so clever
Then why are you on your own tonight?
If you're so very entertaining
Then why are you on your own tonight?
If you're so very good looking
Why do you sleep alone tonight?"
I know 'cause tonight is just like any other night
That's why you're on your own tonight
With your triumphs and your charms
While they're in each other's arms
It's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate
It takes strength to be gentle and kind
Over, over, over, over
It's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate
It takes guts to be gentle and kind
Over, over
Love is natural and real
But not for you, my love
Not tonight, my love
Love is natural and real
But not for such as you and I
My love
Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my headThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2023-07-16 at 6:14 PM UTC in I want you to stretch my rectum so bad that, afterward, I will be able to shit twice as much, twice as fast...Folx, my car battery is a Duralast.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2023-07-06 at 10:07 AM UTC in KITE PLANE MUST HIT STEEL -If a jacker ever comes on my plane my smooth-chested grandfather is my body gaurd , heard, and he will defend me and my honor
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2023-07-05 at 9:28 PM UTC in Charles Manson was da CIAOh and something weird was going on with Terry Melcher and Doris Day too.
He claimed he only met Manson 3 times all before the murders but two people wrote statements saying they saw him afterwards crying and begging Manson for something.
And Doris Day and Terry Melchers lawyer also happened to be a judge before that who let Manson off of a parole violation a year before the murders 🤨
I'm curious if anyone else wants to try to make sense of this. Sharon Tate didn't really like Abigail Folger or Frykowski either.
I also saw a video of Danny Trejo also claiming Charles Manson hypnotized him in prison.
A lot of this seems to have something to do with Doris Day and Terry Melcher though.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2023-07-05 at 8:33 PM UTC in Charles Manson was da CIAI just got done reading this book:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/CHAOS:_Charles_Manson,_the_CIA,_and_the_Secret_History_of_the_Sixties
I can upload it for anybody interested. But it's basically a jumbled mess of intelligence agents/assets surrounding the Manson family.
I think Charles Manson was admired somewhat on totse and Zoklet but knowingly or not he was working for some cointelpro shit for the CIA/FBI. The consensus is that the police knew about him for a while but were hoping he'd attack the Black Panthers.
His probation officer/psychiatrist was connected to MK Ultra. One good thing is Sharon Tate wasn't supposed to get killed I don't think. Her father was military intelligence and she wasn't supposed to be there. Frykowski and Jay Sebring had some issues with drug dealers/CIA assets who lied about knowing Charles Manson. They hung around Cass Elliott. Some spook named Reeve Whitson went there with Manson after the murders and was whining about how he could have saved Sharon Tate.
LAPD and LASD had a lot of psychopaths back then who simultaneously worked for the CIA in Vietnam. All this stuff probably still goes on.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2023-07-04 at 3:38 AM UTC in A seems like a pleasant poster...
Originally posted by Sudo How do you remember that? Do you have room for real world memories with all that useless temple related stuff up there?
The Canadians are the most Blessd of all temple users, in fact HTS even met Jeff Hunter
Originally posted by scuffed jim carrey The first and only TOTSE meetup in history , you would think it would have been more than just random local teenagers back in the mid early 2000's
turns out Jeff Hunter was actually there
The man, the myth, the legend. Some say he fled to Canada after totse.com went down.
I'm gonna track him down and interview him folks
I have been told this story by people who were actually there and this is not exactly what happened. The only one that was "drunk enough" was HTS who was blacked out and "woke up" in the bar. it's also interesting that people who were there that could remember it are all gone from the community. HTS was the only one who doesn't remember everything that happened and by her account the Jeff part went totally different
It's the best kept "secret" in totse history folks except it's not a secret and the fact that it even mentions him being there in person is very interesting as Jeff is an elusive figure.
I'm onto you JEFF HUNTER and I will find you. YOu can't hide from TOTSE forever!!!
Originally posted by Meikai Hardcore is a way of life.
you're a hardcore faggotThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2023-07-04 at 3:37 AM UTC in A seems like a pleasant poster...Hardcore is a way of life.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2023-07-04 at 2:57 AM UTC in A seems like a pleasant poster...I died with rock & roll……The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2023-07-03 at 8:37 PM UTC in BlueberriesAldi has tubs of blueberries for 99 cents...I got one on Friday and it was/is (there's still some left) fucking delicious...full of healthy shit and Aunty Oxygens.
Think I'll stop by on the way home and if they've still got em I'll pick up 3 more tubs.
It's the first time I've ever bought fresh blueberries in my life.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2023-07-02 at 10:49 PM UTC in I often get asked why I smoke Cigars.I often get asked why I smoke Cigars.
I like to begin with a few facts since the person asking is almost always a very average individual.
Like a sheep asking a Lion why it eats meat.
I never smoked a single Cigar until I was already 4x kickboxing world champion.
I didn't smoke a single Cigar until I was already a millionaire.
I had already beaten the game of life.
At such a young age I’ve achieved more than 99.9% of men will have achieved on their deathbeds.
I do not recommend Cigars to any of you. Most of you aren’t ready.
Cigars will make you weaker.
BUT.
There is a very specific reason I smoke Cigars.
That reason is the bedrock of my philosophy.
Cigars make me stronger.
Everything I do makes me stronger.
There is no activity I undertake that weakens me.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2023-07-02 at 1:39 PM UTC in this site is hauntedno
and I haven't been arguing with any ghosts either
I've been sober for a while nowThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2023-06-23 at 10:59 AM UTC in First photos of Ocean gate remainsHeaven's Gate had a better business plan tbh fam.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2023-06-22 at 5:08 AM UTC in Brokeback Mountain: NiS Edition
Originally posted by Bradley I appreciate you being a member of our community.
I had the same experience with HellaDamnLeet/Angry IVer/If I could remember his real name like raphael mosey or some shit, so I showed up there a couple times over in Black River Falls, Wisconsin. He talked shit online and someone else gave me his real life name so I said fuck it , googled it, found out he got arrested a hundred years ago and had his moms trailer listed as his residence, so I showed up there when someone said he still lives ina trailer and has no money or teeth
His mom came out, I think his name was Brady Raphael come to think about it, anyone I saw his hellanoteeth ass looking out the yellow blinds from one of the windows when I was talking to his mom, explaining we were friends in school when he lived here before
No bullshit.
you should teach his kids to beat him upThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2023-06-20 at 8:45 PM UTC in Why is itIt's called a foil in literature. Basically you have 1 person who is either skinny, beautiful, attractive, smart-- by juxtaposing themselves with someone who has the opposite traits (Fat, ugly, unattractive, stupid) is perfect to act as the opposite reflection of myself.
It's like if I stood next to a ratface tranny fucker, you would see me as skinnier, more handsome, and if you give him a 10 second opportunity to speak, much smarter.
Dictators surround themselves with incompetency to seem more competent, and beautiful girls have fat ones that they love taking photos with because if there's 4 of them and 1 is fat, all 3 look like fire.
And people think "Wow she is so nice that she doesn't judge people based on appearances." ya she's also hot as fuck and in perfect shape -
2023-06-20 at 4:57 AM UTC in Why is it
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2023-06-20 at 3:08 AM UTC in Fake communist tacho is righthttps://twitter.com/BlackRedGuard1/status/1670977506336178176
Don't join political parties unless you are gayDo research and preferably build your own organization from the grassroots with real people. Forge ties with other people who think and move like you do. Many anarchists and Maoists have been doing this. The best work nowadays is being done in the anti-cop movement, grassroots union work, and tenant work. Do something like @CommunityMvt
Join a Party or any organization! If you aren’t organized you can’t criticize!”
lol what party? There is no fucking Party. The last Party in this country that I would even remotely consider joining would be the Black Panthers, and they had issues too. There’s a bunch of 50 and 60 year old book and protest clubs
literally this. THe communist is right, fuck the communist party just throw a molotov
