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Posts That Were Thanked by WE SMOOTH
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2020-05-17 at 7:09 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get off that bus editionThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-05-12 at 12:47 PM UTC in The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)
Originally posted by Sudo CASPER You can say your brain doesn't work but I see it working. I HAVE BEEN FEELING LIKE A PALE SHADE OF MYSELF FOR A FUCKING DECADE. I've literally been making threads about that since zoklet and have only been getting worse. I can tell your brain still fires. Methadone will turn the toughest brain to mush and I can tell you still have an edge to it. I've been doing opiates and many other substances (being briefly addicted to all major drugs and drug groups besides meth although have cocaine and methylphenidate as substitutes) for 17 years (over half my life) and come from a long line of depressed alcoholics. Although my brain is mush and I'm horribly addicted to pills, I'm somehow making more money legally than I have in a long time (or really…ever) and do not feel I am at a risk for returning to prison. Beyond however your brain feels YOU HAVE A LOT TO OFFER THE WORLD AND THE WORLD HAS A LOT TO OFFER YOU IF YOU OPEN YOURSELF TO IT
Bro, I can't pretend to know your situation fully, or even 2% of it, but I do know as an objective observer that your fucking life has meaning and not only to you. You might feel meaningless and worthless but I assure you you are not. You have a story (lots actually) to tell and there will be a resolution and a denouement and a hero and an afterward and maybe a fucking sequel or two. You have a lot to give and offer. The first part sucked but you have to learn some lessons along the way in order to create something lasting. You're just beginning to live man, even if it doesn't feel like it and instead feels like you're sleepwalking yourself to death. It's going to get better if you let it.
I think you need intimacy too. You've got an awesome soul that needs a companion.I think if you find this, or at least a moment or two where you feel a combination that makes sense and you feel less alone, you will feel like you belong a lot more. You deserve a lot man, God knows you do and you're going to get it when the time is right. Fucking watch it happen
Ugh refreshed the page and deleted my shit.
Anyway. Ngl that made me tear up a bit broski.
Idk im sure things would get better i just dk how much better. Id say dont feel like myself but i dont even know what “myself” is. Cutting my own hair this week, i realized its the first time in 31 years ive chosen my own haircut. I just kept getting the same thing i started getting when i was 4 bc it was he default and i didnt have to worry about something being wrong, or making a wrong decision. Same fucking haircut for 27 years. Thats pretty much my life in a nutshell. I just dont feel right. Yeah theres something in there but its all globbed together and disconnected and insulated. Nothing feels automatic or effortless or coherent anymore, and its exhausting just doing simple shit. Like i put off rewriting this post for like 8 hours because typing things seemed like toomuch work. lol.
Im sure some of it is the drugs, but ive been on less than 6mg methadone for a couple months now, and less than 10 for like 4 months. I thought certain th8ngs would start getting better but It feels like im just getting worse. Maybe withdrawal. Idk. Its not even a specific thing its the totality of everything. The physical stuff. The pain. The relationships i fucked up and people i alienated. The selfish, fucked up, cringey shit i did. Being so spineless (omg that symbolsim) for so long. Still not having any direction whatsoever. Not being able to take pride in anything. Giving up doing the one thing i was ever really good at, bc its incompatible with who id want to be. Just feeling broke down and fucked up and angry and old and hardly a man. I remember feeling despondent on drugs, but i dont remember feeling quite this shitty. This is like 3D Depression lol. It just permeates every second im awake, and i want to wrap my hands around its fucking throat but all it is, is me. And me is tired. And me is just running on fumes, and knows problems dont fix themselves. And fixing problems takes vision and spiritual energy and hope, all of which hes sorely lacking right now.
I think theres always a possibility things will get better, but theres every possibility things stay the sameor god forbid get worse. I just straight up cant do this another 5 years. Full stop. Im okay sometimes but im not enjoying anything. i keep wondering at what point is it okay to make that decision. Like obviously theres a point. Most people understand a terminally ill patient opting out? What about being terminally fucked up?
Definitely need intimacy. I was just thinking the other day, i miss just cruising with someone. Driving out somewhere in the middle of the night to get some super unhealthy food. Everyone i knew from drugs i pretty much stopped talking to. I stopped talking to people like 9 months before I quit so I think its been like 2 or 3 years since i really hung out with anyone. Im too exhausted to really be lonely anymore though. Its more like remembering a snippet of a melody to a song and thinking “I wish i remembered what that was from”.
idk.
Thanks. -
2020-05-12 at 3:41 AM UTC in The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)CASPER You can say your brain doesn't work but I see it working. I HAVE BEEN FEELING LIKE A PALE SHADE OF MYSELF FOR A FUCKING DECADE. I've literally been making threads about that since zoklet and have only been getting worse. I can tell your brain still fires. Methadone will turn the toughest brain to mush and I can tell you still have an edge to it. I've been doing opiates and many other substances (being briefly addicted to all major drugs and drug groups besides meth although have cocaine and methylphenidate as substitutes) for 17 years (over half my life) and come from a long line of depressed alcoholics. Although my brain is mush and I'm horribly addicted to pills, I'm somehow making more money legally than I have in a long time (or really...ever) and do not feel I am at a risk for returning to prison. Beyond however your brain feels YOU HAVE A LOT TO OFFER THE WORLD AND THE WORLD HAS A LOT TO OFFER YOU IF YOU OPEN YOURSELF TO IT
Bro, I can't pretend to know your situation fully, or even 2% of it, but I do know as an objective observer that your fucking life has meaning and not only to you. You might feel meaningless and worthless but I assure you you are not. You have a story (lots actually) to tell and there will be a resolution and a denouement and a hero and an afterward and maybe a fucking sequel or two. You have a lot to give and offer. The first part sucked but you have to learn some lessons along the way in order to create something lasting. You're just beginning to live man, even if it doesn't feel like it and instead feels like you're sleepwalking yourself to death. It's going to get better if you let it.
I think you need intimacy too. You've got an awesome soul that needs a companion.I think if you find this, or at least a moment or two where you feel a combination that makes sense and you feel less alone, you will feel like you belong a lot more. You deserve a lot man, God knows you do and you're going to get it when the time is right. Fucking watch it happenThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-04-27 at 3:19 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get off that bus editionThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-04-23 at 12:33 AM UTC in You can have sex with one NIS member, who do you pickThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-04-18 at 5:38 AM UTC in It's going down... I'm telling timber.this is a 1/10 kesha song.
5 better ones off the top of my noggin
1. praying
2. crazy kids
3. take it off
4. blow
5. raising hell
6. Your love is my drug
6 because every other kesha song is better and pitbull is a rapist -
2020-04-18 at 4:02 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get off that bus edition
Originally posted by ORACLE sometimes I choke myself and pretend it's John Mayer doing it
Wow that's quite weird, thank you for volunteering this, I'm sure it feels freeing because I can't imagine you speaking so candidly in your daily life (or even anyone wanting to speak to you despite the sweet preteen 420blzit memes) but could you pick a less mundane singer to have homoerotic fantasies about? Branch out. Maybe check out Sufjan StevensThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-03-08 at 2:14 PM UTC in I got a job at a factoryYears of my life pass by me working while on meth. I've never worked in the food industry like bill Bill KrozbyBY I've always just worked in the industry industry of factories and warehouses.
Putting on the steel toes and hard hat walking around with a safety vest and a clipboard. There is nothing more American than filling your bloodstream with methylated amphetamines and caffeine and then working a storm shipping things across the country and spilling toxic materials all over the floor.
Make sure you know where the eye wash station is and god bless fire drillsThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-03-05 at 1:58 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get off that bus editionThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-03-02 at 2:57 PM UTC in Anyone remember me?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-02-19 at 7:17 PM UTC in Anyone remember me?
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2020-01-31 at 3:02 PM UTC in The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)
Originally posted by WE SMOOTH it’s the boredom/groundhog day feeling. when i smoke and it hits me just right I can’t stop walking around my crib feeling grateful.
I know that feel. its difficult to punch through. Whenever my meditation actually works, it does help. As does going one new place every day. Work out- even for a half hour. Drive around with a chick.
weed really isnt shit, but i guess the whole point is that if anything is a crutch,its keeping you from developing your full potentialThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-24 at 3:14 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕
Originally posted by Fox Does your state require licensure?
It does. I spoke to a guy who runs his own firm the other day, and he seemed open to taking on someone without LE experience.
Its just one of the few things thats come to mind in the last that i know for sure id be good at. Knowing when people are lying, finding small details and being a snoop are all my strong skills. And being a total scumbag. lol. I can pretty much be whoever. 6000 hours and a test. Seems doable.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-18 at 4:48 AM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕
Originally posted by Fox What is Kodak in prison or something? He can still record shit from prison, it’s been done before
his music seems a lot smarter than his life. He forged forms to get a gun then when he was in jail a week before sentencing he punched a guard a started a mini brawl that fucked up his plea deal so he got 3 years 8 months. Now he's going to come out a shell of a person with a caged spirit and his music will sufferThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-16 at 2:16 AM UTC in Is Mal fuckable?
Originally posted by WE SMOOTH i think you’re thinking of the stripper i met afterwards. after this ghosting i described i was kinda depressed and said “fuck these hoes” to the universe then met another girl i caught feelings for right afterwards lmao.
oh, one important thing i learned which may seem obvious is that most of the girls that are into me are pretty similar and whether i want to be in a relationship with them or not really depends on how far above my attractiveness threshold they are, & the same is probably true for them, so it’s just a shallow world & i should try to get some hobbies or something lmao
Yeah was definitely thinking of a stripper. Dude, I have literally been in relationships (one wasn't official but is still important in my life for a certain reason) with 5 girls WITH THE SAME NAME who all have similar characteristics and situations. It's like groundhog day but I can't figure out how to do it right. I literally ask God what the test is he's asking me and how can I pass to be freed of this infinite loop.
I would think about the best qualities each of them have and compare them to each other to make a composite of the best girl for you and go with the highest ranking one. Obviously physical attractiveness ranks very highly so that should be weighed a little heavier. Sometimes you impose qualities on girls tho that you either want or want to believe they have when they really don't lol. Knowing yourself is the key to relationships ime, sun tsu art of war shit, know your yourself first and you can't be defeated because you know what you want and who can give it to you and isn't just telling you what you want to hear all superficially.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-15 at 9:40 PM UTC in Is Mal fuckable?What's the imaginary kid's name?
I like imaginary people. I grew up with a great imaginary buddy of mine, JACK. he would challenge me to things like drinking a full cup of water in under a certain amount of gulps, and he would always be there when I was playing sports to root me on. Oh Jack. I guess he must have found a different kid to brighten their childhood.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-15 at 1:27 AM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕
Originally posted by -SpectraL That's what killed Johnny Cash.
Relax I'm just eating butalbital which is like the 3.2% beer of barbiturates. All the legends who died off barbs like Hendrix were taking Seconal/Tuinal/Amytal ("reds, blues, yellows") which make this tension headache shit look like ginger beer. Not gonna lie, it's still decent enough to tickle your GABA receptors nicely especially when you pour some drinks on it but nothing like the shit they had available back then.
C'mon you old fuck you probably have like 30 years on me, how the fuck do I know more about drugs that weren't even available in me lifetime than you? A huge amount of the 27 club died thanks to Secobarbital/Reds alone and back then you didn't even have to mix it with alcohol. These days faggots like me mix the benzodiazepines that replaced them with copious amounts of alcohol and still just piss ourselves and/or go to jail rather than die from choking on our own vomit like we're trying to. What a fucking rip off!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-14 at 5:36 AM UTC in Is Mal fuckable?i just want to reiterate for the record that Garfield is the worst euphemism for vagina, ever. calls to mind a spilled over gut, long feet and cold lasagna pussy with little chunks of ricotta cheese coming out of the noodles.
All bad.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-14 at 5:28 AM UTC in Is Mal fuckable?
Originally posted by CASPER thank you so much for this
“youre awesome”?
LOL. holy fuck. bitches, amirite?
It was very predictable, I kinda remember this tale and believe I have posts linked to it where I predict that very outcome based on his lack of assertion and her character. I'm sure WS has some better stories since. I like WS because he's introspective and self effacingThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-01 at 10:39 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕Y'all niggas ever eat a three cheese sausage?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
