Sorry about that guys, I'll try not to do that again
Post last edited by Kolokol-1 at 2017-04-23T12:30:54.777474+00:00
I don't even read your posts when I'm sober
Self reflection, self fulfillment and distraction.
I know we've had many clashes in the past but I want you to take this post as if it were written by someone else, because I'm not trying to insult or bully you. I think a lot of people on this site could benefit from someone telling them this, and it's best said by someone you respect, but nobody else is saying it so I have to, and I urge you to put aside your prior experiences with me to heed my words this once. I once struggled with the same issues and I found some degree of peace, so the least I can do is help pass it on to others who need it.
When people have existential crises, the reason is often not that they are some Nietzchean nihilistic genius thinker who has had an intellectual awakening, it is because they have gaping holes in their own personality and life that make them unhappy and incapable of not focusing on what comes at the end of the empty road they are walking. The real world, and your real life is to oempty and bleak for you to enjoy it rather than getting wrapped up in faux-intellectualism and depressing yourself to convince yourself that you've find some kind of an answer to your unhappiness in oblivion and futility. The answer is to not think about it, because it can't be helped. But that's easier said than done. The only way I know that truly works is to fill your life with things you love and the things that make you truly happy.
And that itself looks like a mountainous task when you look at it from afar. But the way to do it is to change yourself, your relationship with the world, with "things", they way you think about all the affairs that you consider important, your relationship with the idea of what makes you happy. You, specifically, have a very difficult time accepting and admitting your own limitations and failings, and the gaps in your personality. That in itself is the biggest personality defect one can have. Everything else can be fixed by following some self-help type of advice, but the one thing nobody can fix for you is to get rid of the ego and arrogance that holds you back from changing yourself. You can tell me to go fuck myself, or "cringe" and everything else you think makes you sound tough. Whatever. But if you've hit a point that you despise being at, then on your own, when and where nobody but yourself can ever hear, you've got to admit to yourself everything that is wrong with you and look at exactly how to fix that, and if it can't be fixed, then how to deal with it.
To address that last part, not everything can be fixed. Some aspects of our life are out of our control and some aspects of our personality are damn near hardwired into us. But you can surely learn to deal with it. Learn how to metacognate. Learn how to see those warning signs of self destructive and self sabotaging behaviours, and get the discipline necessary to reject your predispositions and first order desires before they turn into action.
Improve yourself and you'll know how much nicer it is to actually live in the real world than to worry about how one day you won't. And that's about all that we can ask for.
Bill Krozby spends all his time coming up with stories to convince himself (and us, but mostly himself) that his life is interesting. Pity he doesn't realize that the mundane bullshit he writes about just confirms what a nobody he is.
I am also very cynical. I like words the Kremlin uses in statements that everyone in Russia can identify with but would be less popular in america. "Cynical" "fascist" "provocateur" etc. I feel like my entire life has been on borrowed time and literally everything has a dichotomous relationship with everything
Some skinny girl just gave me an unnecessary amount of money and bought me some shit from the store and implied shed like me to go back to her hotel room though she has a boyfriend. She asked me if I had any kids and I neglected to mention I had recently aborted a fetus. The comments so far are actually semi relevant. I know life has meaning but It's about passing the tests as they are given to you. When you pass them you can hear more notes, just sometimes you can scrape your eardrum with a Q tip along the way. Which reminds me, right now I'm literally listening to "dirty deeds done dirt cheap" and this song also has relevance in the present. I kinda of want to go on a drug excursion with a whyte girl who will talk just the right amount and come back in 3 days guns a blazin.'
I literally feel 68 years old.
well in his defense I believe the man was speaking the truth, I find it hard to imagine any bitch who was on "cupcake wars DC" wouldn't be fat, depressed and trashy
I've got a bunch of shrooms too. I guess I can get more specific.
any of you ever post books you read while not tripping?
Like my page I'm the admin its called LEGALIZE CRYSTAL METH
If you aren't tripping your probably too busy taking it up the ass
