Posts by The Self Taught Man

1. 2016-03-08 at 3:26 PM UTC in I'm moving back to the city
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Payday for me is on the 23rd and assuming the IRS (read: ISIS) doesn't scoop my welfare I am going to open a new bank account, buy a gram of crystalized methamphetamine and get my friend matt addicted to it and convince him there's more where that Came from if he drives me to Minneapolis.
   
   I havent eaten fucking ANYTHING since Saturday morning and I feel like I'm gonna pass out. The food bank is open but they don't even give you sandwich meat or cheese or milk just ramen and chips because fuck eating healthy your in poverty might as well eat fucking garbage too.
   
   I forgot what its like to have friends but I've been talking to all my old friends in the city and they said I got a couch to sleep on and an address to use to get a welfare cheque. I've been sleeping on a couch since October but nobody let's me use their address to claim welfare so I have to tell them I'm homeless and only get $200 a month instead of $600.
   
   My dads girlfriend is a bitch and hides all the cheese and sandwich meat in her bedroom under her bras and shit, and it was my dads birthday yesterday and she made a cake and its in their fucking bedroom and they went to a restaraunt for dinner while i sat at "home" eating benadryl and fucking starving.
   
   It pisses me off because a week ago she was in cuba and i spent my last $40 on beer, meat and cheese which my dad drank and ate every day and when she gets back she brings a bottle of rum and buys a bunch of food and hides it all. On top of that my entire family has been screaming at me or being fucking retards asking if i found a job yet when im sitting there starving like "NO I HAVE NO ENERGY TO WALK ANYWHERE FUCK YOU" how about $10 dollars until payday so i can fucking eat.
   
   Its clear to me that literally nobody in my family gives a shit if I keel over and die. Not my parents or anyone they just dont fucking care because they are all self centered cunts, i fucking hate them all and wish my mom just got an abortion instead of unleashing my terror and meth smoking house burning down on the world. Instead i had to spend my childhood in poverty and watch adults completely fail to raise a child and instead spend their time and money drinking and smoking crack.
   
   So whatever, im done. I have friends that will help me. I used to have a 30K a year job, my own apartment and a girlfriend until my dad moved in with me and my girlfriend moved out because hes an asshole, i covered his rent through all of 2014 because he got cut off welfare amd went to jail and in 2015 he just couldnt afford the house we lived at ( i got $1100 a month he got $550 and his girlfriend never paid anything)
   
   So fuck it all im buying meth so my stomach stops hurting and i can go longer than 3 days with no food if i have meth. ill probably be back in my home city that i was born in some time in april. I plan to get on welfare there which will boost monthy income from $200 to $700 and get a job quickly and get a place with my best friend Carl.
   
   I'm supposed to apply at Home Builders for a forklift job and do my taxes today but I have no energy. I'm gonna wait until my dad and his GF leave and steal some cake and cheese so my stomach stops hurting.
   
2. 2016-03-08 at 1:23 PM UTC in anyone else here healthy?
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   I'm fairly healthy i lift a lot of stuff and walk a lot at work and I workout with weights, though I do drink, eat pizza, hamburgers daily.

   Genital Herpes and Anal Warts, Schizophrenia, Marfan's, slight to severe mental retardation depending on Alcohol level....
3. 2016-03-08 at 1:09 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   I'm genuinly glad to here that. I'm also back now from getting my guts fucked by some pizza. 5 days since my last post. That shit really rekt me up.
4. 2016-03-08 at 11:59 AM UTC in anyone else here healthy?
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   I am very unhealthy both physically and mentally.

   
   
   well yea but we already knew that. maybe you should clean your room
5. 2016-03-08 at 11:59 AM UTC in literally made a girl orgasm in my sleep last night
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   "she mentioned how nice it was when I woke up in the middle of the night and was fingering her and made her cum."
   
   She just casually said "Hey thanks for the diddle!"? I dont buy it. Either she would have woken you from your slumber with her enjoyment or she would have been really weirded out that you try and finger girls in their sleep.
   
   I dont wanna be that guy but it sounds like you have never gone past a knuckle when it comes to the ladies.

   
   
   well dude, she said more, but im abbreviating it because it doesn't matter
   
   i dont know why you guys think im trying to brag about fingering a girl, thats some 8th grade shit anyways. it was just notable because of the sleepwalking i thought.
6. 2016-03-08 at 11:57 AM UTC in anyone else here healthy?
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   I am very unhealthy both physically and mentally.
7. 2016-03-08 at 11:57 AM UTC in anyone else here healthy?
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   It's an interesting experience; reading a post I know for a fact was written while masturbating.

   
   
   how does it make you feel?
8. 2016-03-08 at 10:48 AM UTC in whats your top 3 pc games?
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   anyone here like system shock 2?

   
   I'm ashamed to say I've never played it. It seems awesome, but at the same time I've heard you can actually build your character's stats in a way that make the game literally impossible to finish. I have a hard enough time finishing games without watching out for landmines like that.
9. 2016-03-08 at 9:33 AM UTC in A Song About The jedis
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   And I can fap to it
10. 2016-03-08 at 9:27 AM UTC in A Song About The jedis
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
11. 2016-03-08 at 9:06 AM UTC in I just started a file of messages/notes to myself to read at the end of the year...
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    I would have just made a thread here but lets be honest...this site ain't gonna be around that long.
12. 2016-03-08 at 8:05 AM UTC in whats your top 3 pc games?
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Tell me more about DF2
13. 2016-03-08 at 7 AM UTC in whats your top 3 pc games?
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    How many games are there where you can be doing something and then just be like YO FML IMA BAKE A CAKE and gain points for it?

    
    
    Space station 13. Playing as chef is fun if you are traitor because you can cook your targets into delicious hamburgers or cake and feed them to the rest of the crew
    
    
14. 2016-03-08 at 6:41 AM UTC in Just because you like to get high sometime doesn't mean you're a dang addict.
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    I've only been doing meth since October 2014. Feels like im in a relationship or something. Married to tha needle.
15. 2016-03-08 at 6:38 AM UTC in Do you think the goatse man could survive taking it from a horse?
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    I suffer from "gay on meth" and have done goatse before. Its easier than you think you tight assed str8 boi
16. 2016-03-08 at 6:35 AM UTC in anyone else here healthy?
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    I fast because poverty and haven't done meth all year. I'm dropping weight rapidly and have no energy to do anything feelsdyingman
17. 2016-03-08 at 6:35 AM UTC in What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    I wouldn't pay $1000 to have a garbanzo bean on my face
    
18. 2016-03-08 at 6:33 AM UTC in I love to piss
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Pissing is ok but shitting is where its at.

    
    
    Shitting is more satisfying but pissing is easier IMO, you can do it any time as opposed to after you've eaten something. It's likea sustained, mild orgasm for me to piss a full bladder.
19. 2016-03-08 at 6:31 AM UTC in i made a bad decision last night and now i have to deal with the consequences.
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    I haven't eaten anything except benadryl In a week
20. 2016-03-08 at 6:30 AM UTC in I love to piss
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Eating 39 beedrill makes me pee pee go what the fuckkkk and I gotta piss every 10 minutes and barely anything comes out. Worst part about DPH imho