Originally posted by Sudo
Dte is such a bitter kraft single mom it's not funny. I'm all about single moms tho. My single mom raised me and I turned out fucking emotionally unstable and incarcerated. All things considered it could have been a LOT worse. Kr0zs daughter worse….
Yeah I'm certainly not saying they're objectively bad people or whatever. They're just usually fucked up in the head, but I don't disagree. Doesn't mean they can't be a good time or capable of a semi-normal relationship. At the end of the day a lovey dovey white picket facebook tier professional family photo relationship is way shittier. Who the fuck wants to live like that ? Well a lot of people obviously but that'll never be my cup of tea. Doesn't mean I couldn't settle down but I need some drama, fighting, doing drugs before family gatherings, shit that makes you feel ALIVE, not the fake rainbows and sunshine BS.
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"I am so tolerant of everyone, I'll fuck anyone, an L a G a B or T a Q, it doesn't matter to me. I just won't fuck a straight person."
-Norm
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I had a friend whose mom was a lesbian and she a screw in hook for her hand like Capt Hook. Always found it amusing.
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Originally posted by juiceЬox
I never had an avatar
The only account I ever had that did was kolokol-1, and that was just a bond-line diagram of beta-methylfentanyl
What the hell am I thinking of? I always thought it was literally a juicebox with a straw and a face like a little cartoon character. Is that someone else? It was yellow mostly.
What the fuck it's like a personalized Mandela effect.
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That legit reminds me of a cover photo from an iconic horror film.
Grimace?????
What is it?
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2018-06-16 at 2:15 AM UTC
in
The official horror thread
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I too prefer doing phone repairs in the House of the Lord.
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*lays in the middle of the road watching the turnip truck drive away*
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2018-09-30 at 1:26 AM UTC
in
Random Thoughts
A stop sign could outrun you.
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2018-09-21 at 3:11 AM UTC
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let me thank my own posts
Originally posted by Sudo
So does Facebook and this site should be taking cues from those two sites
I have actually thought of making this thread before but knew it would go nowhere. Sometimes I'll re read my posts and thank myself for being so illuminating
Me too. Like my post above yours. That should've been at least a 3-banger. Had anyone said that first I'd have thanked it like shrimp on rice.
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2018-09-29 at 8:05 PM UTC
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Three poll spectacular
1. Sure why not.
2. Sure why not.
3. Sure why not.
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2018-09-28 at 2:06 AM UTC
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Random Thoughts
If they made a Nobel prize for being a sack of shit you'd win every year.
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2018-09-28 at 6:46 AM UTC
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Lol. Look at these FEGS.
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Why am I around here?
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
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2018-09-28 at 3:48 AM UTC
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SHOPLIFTING
That doesn't seem terribly inaccurate other than the HIGH POWERED MILITARY GRADE BINOCS.
When I got caught shoplifting at Kmart once, I walked in and this Asian dude was just walking around and looked at me, I looked at him and went onward toward the cough medicine aisle and pocketed two tall bottles of tussin, knowing nobody on the floor could see me and pretty sure no cams could, but clearly I was wrong.
I then went over to the dog food aisle and pretended to look. Then I went to the main counter by the doors and asked if I could grab a western union form and bring it back. The lady was like, yes of course, but she had this peculiar look on her face and I knew something was up. Either way I was committed so I just left, and of course the Asian dude from the beginning comes up behind me, "hey you need to stop. Come here with me. We say what you did"
Obviously I was like "what the fuck are you talking about?" I laughed and played it off like he was out of his mind. He was more nervous than me actually and he's just like "no cmon man we saw it" and I insisted he was crazy and I left and started walking briskly away toward my house, then of course like 3 other guys started running after me and they all stopped me and I tried to wrestle away but they all hung on to me and it was 4 on 1 so I couldn't do anything.
So I'm like fuck, I resigned myself to the fact I was busted stealing cough syrup, and I ask am I going to jail and they say not necessarily.
They took me to the back room and I signed up for this program where I didn't have to get charged or get police involved but I had to watch like 4 hours of 'don't steal' videos and pay a $400 fine, which I obviously accepted.
Ultimately I ended up watching like 30 minutes of footage and payed $150 and then I just stopped because it was stupid. Haha. Nothing else ever came of it and I still shop there to this day, all the time. I've also had my license checked by a cop since then and didn't have a warrant so in other words, if you ever get caught stealing sign up for the program I did and then just don't do it.
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2018-09-28 at 5:40 PM UTC
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Kavanaugh to be Impeached
I didn't murder my wife, see its not in my calender.
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I stopped at the black glove and that guy saying OJ and then the girl says "that was the pinnacle moment in my career because it doesn't happen that often."
She clearly doesn't know what pinnacle means and I hate her and thus hate the episode how can I take it seriously with a fucking moron on the case like that?
*rebukes*
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Heres a song I wrote just now as I write this
I fucking feel the pain insssiiiiide me
Everything dieeees see??
You are nothing! Nobody knows!
Burn in an oven that's how it goes!!
Hook:
I love ovens, ovens, ovens
I love to burn
I love ovens, ovens, ovens
Now it's your TUUUUUURNN!!!
your mom says to you "hi"
Secretly she wishes you to die
Nothing matters and rainbows don't exist
Why don't we all just slit our wrists?
Everything you thought you knew is naught
Everything you think is fucking bought
The jedis the Man they make you rot
Why arent we dead thats what I thought.
Repeat chorus
Death death death x14
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Do rainbows exist objectively?
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Pluto is cute why would anyone wanna be mean to it? :(
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