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Posts by My Wife Is Dead

  1. Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood wooooooooo

    Hell yeah, WOOOOOOOOO. Page 69 here we come motherfuckers.
  2. Originally posted by Headspin My wife is dead. Pretty sure that was the third.

    I was never a butthole lady. I did what I could to support them, but that shit was too dumb to commit to any real presence.
  3. Originally posted by Poast it’s not very long anyways.

    Do you have any idea where you are, son? This is "The Longest Thread on the Internet" you're talking about here. It's sole claim to fame is that it's long. Quite possibly the longest. OMG, are you just going to let this lame ass that hardly even contributes to the length of your thread dog you like this?
  4. Originally posted by CASPER This project has inspired me to scream in the car. Its very cathartic. The other drivers seemed moved by my displays of empowerment.

    "I CAN SEE BEER CANS, AND LIQUOR BOTTLES, BUT I SEE ALL, MOTHERFUCKER!"
  5. Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN And trying not to piss you off.

    So you call me multiple times a night calling me a pussy for not editing your already released video? If that's you *not* trying to piss me off, God fucking damn, I'd hate to see you try.
  6. Originally posted by A College Professor pity bump for a shit thread by shitheads

    And not to give OMG an ego stroke, but I don't see YOU creating longest threads on the internet. Fucking fight me, motherfucker.
  7. Originally posted by CASPER I think the new bit is a fucking retard trying to pitch ideas for a TV show to a studio agent. And your natural back and forth is the whole shtick. Momdead is the agent.

    Reading my commentary with that in mind makes it so much funnier. I'm legit exasperated trying to help him stop being so self destructive towards himself. If I wasn't so fucked up the asshole with stress from all ends, I'd probably appreciate how funny me and OMG are more often. Thanks for pointing it out, it legit made me lulz.
  8. Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN Yesterday I went by the house where I had those, (probably), underage girls passed out in their yard.

    What in your god damn mind was going on to convince you that talking to that woman and trying to convince her to watch your "not creepy" video was a good idea? You've said multiple times you're pretty sure she called the cops the first time, and watching the uncut footage, I'm pretty sure you're right.

    If she HAD watched your "not creepy" video, do you think seeing you glaring at a camera while fully clothed and soaking wet in the shower is a good way to convince her you're not creepy? That video is like staring into the mind of a mental disorder. It's not even artistically disturbing, it's just straight mashed together like a psych ward patient's crayon drawings. If she had humored you and watched some of it, I can only imagine the creeping horror overcoming her as what little faith she had that you weren't a threat is shattered, all the while you're standing there proud and oblivious as fuck talking your incoherent and overconfident excited drunk ramblings over the clip so she can't even hear the comedy in the phone calls-just fragmented tones of people directing hatred at you. It sounds like you're actually LUCKY she wanted nothing to do with you. I've known you for like 2 decades, and even knowing the whole story, I think you're fucking creepy. I can't even imagine how you thought talking to her could have panned out in anything but raising her alarms further.

    I'd like to say I'm surprised, but I'm really not. What the hell, dude?
  9. Originally posted by CASPER Im down to do more stuff. Its a minor miracle anyone from a site called NiggasInSpace did anything at all lol.

    I was of the opinion it should be played straight, n if cats were gonna be mentioned, it should be a subtle nod mentioned a couple times

    I was pushing for that, too. Getting too blatant with it takes away from all the rest of what's going on and just seems like grasping at the easiest joke to make. Sometimes, keeping it vague has a quality in itself.
    At the very least, if you're going to reveal that it's all apparently some sort of cat stealing ring, add that as an epilogue so it doesn't steal the thunder from other jokes, and doesn't destroy any sympathy we have for the character OMG portrayed. A final shot panning out looking like he OD'd on his living room floor and then a cut to black with the cat thief call would have been a better sell.

    and have like….a table of ripped down lost animal wanted posters to have the audience wonder what the fuck.
    That's hilariously dark and could be done pretty subtly.
  10. Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN Man Poast and *edited* are haters.

    "I could totally do better editing. I mean I'm not going to but I could."

    It's not my job to motivate you to try a little harder. I had a lot of respect for your ambition with this project, and thought you were going to push yourself here. But instead, you settled for a disjointed mess and built a narrative that boiled down to cat-trafficing which I said was weak from the start. You asked me for criticism and advice for days, when you showed me your cut and I gave you solid advice to build a stronger narrative with a better build-up to "the reveal" that I already voiced was low hanging fruit, you brushed me off and released it everywhere anyways.

    Spend over four hours getting it all together and no one can do anything better.
    I spent 8 hours getting my computer set up for audio and video editing and then hunting down all the the downloadable scraps you and poast sent me through Facebook, phone texts and YouTube videos because I had high suspicions you weren't going to have the work ethic to fulfill any real editing job. I had to work with absolute garbage, because you never authorized me to view any of the files you sent me over Google drive, and were passed out drunk when I had time to work on this and found out. I showed up late to work because I spent time I should have been sleeping working on your project.
    I created my own footage to supplement yours, because I had an incoherent mess of low quality YouTube rips, text message downloads and Facebook uploads. You told me you'd be out of town and there was no rush to do work on my end, so I took that as an opportunity to *not* expedite giving you a demo of what you *could* be pulling off.
    The very next day, I'm sleep deprived, grumpy and worn out from working on your shit in an effort to get you to keep pushing yourself, and you send me your cut. It's disjointed, it's absolutely rare as shit that the clips reflect anything to do with the audio, 90% of the footage is just reused from other videos you half assed, you include "the reveal" that the character you're portraying is just a cat-smuggler and answer ALL the mysteries of story halfway through--before the questions are even raised. Casper's final "meltdown landlord" call falls flat as shit, because the audience already knows the answers to everything he's mentioning.
    And Casper was your fucking leading man here, selling it fucking fantastic, but for some reason you decided to interrupt his progressive descent into madness with some dude's rant talking about undressing people with your eyes? You definitely rounded up a great group of hilarious people to provide you with some hilarious audio, but instead of giving them the justice of a coherent narrative and footage fitting the slow boil of madness, you just slammed it all together and rode the coat tails of their talent.

    Then, you ask me for critical advice on how to make it better, disregard me, release it, and when it doesn't catch as much attention as you anticipated, you keep fucking calling me for advice and trying to guilt me into doing the editing work FOR YOU ON AN ALREADY RELEASED PROJECT. I have tried telling you this TWO fucking times tonight. You keep baiting me to do the work you should have done to begin with.
    What is the fucking point here? It's out. I hope you're happy with what you made. I *really* don't want to have to shit on you. This was the coolest thing you've done in years, and I hope you keep at it because you'll probably get better. You're willingness to embarass yourself is a real strength here, and it's obvious you have some solid people backing you up. Get it, son.
    But seriously, fuck you for trying to bully me into doing the work you signed up for. Learn to rely on your own skills, and if you don't have them, build them up. You could have done better, I'd have helped you refine it, but it's out in the wild now. Nobody wants to see a rehash. You come at me with another good idea, and I might work up the motivation to dive in again.
  11. Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN My uncle is telling me to buy better editing software because movie maker can only get me so far.

    I told you like 2 years ago to get Hitfilm Express. Shit's free and a pretty powerful video editor. We talked for like 2 or 3 weeks about it, and you said you were going to get into it. If you're actually going to get into some video editing, shit or get off the pot you little bitch.
  12. Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1j0u2c1Jec&feature=youtu.be

    "Leg day? Never heard of her."
  13. But dude, look at it! It even has a little tail! OMG is slipping in his old age or alcoholism. Might be time he retires from the lolcat business. He posted an undoctored photo of literal shit, and with a few strokes of paint I turned that motherfucker into an exact replica of a living breathing cat indistinguishable from the real thing.
    OMG GET BENT!
  14. Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN Page 54 bitches! We're so close.

    Where's Casper's free lolcat, bro? He gave us a story.
  15. Originally posted by CASPER the kind of girl to call you a pussy if you wouldnt fuck her

    90% the reason I ever get laid.
  16. I mean, that's kinda why we love her, but it gets a little grating at times. Not saying I'd put my dick in her, but I'll probably invite her to the next rager.
  17. Originally posted by CASPER

    Fucking April. Such a bitch.
  18. Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN I'm probably remembering it wrong but in my head it was epic. Just one violent splurge of puke that got some air. He was on his back so the puke went straight up before coming back down.

    Though the real message of the story is that you all were talking about how often you puke from getting drunk and I started talking a big game about how I hadn't puked from drinking in like 2 or 3 years, and that was the anniversary. Talking mad shit, and all the boys took that as a challenge. I ended up matching damn near everyone with a shot to prove my superior intestinal constitution.

    I was well beyond incoherent drunk long before anyone else, lost my ability to stand and started to pass out on the couch. In a last ditch effort to get me to take more shots and expose myself for the puker that we all inherently are, you started bribing me. I can't say I was thinking anywhere close to well enough to have been able to spite you with my choice, but I do know earlier in the night I was just sick of you playing the same five shitty pretentious songs in a row. I'd definitely have taken a shot to pass out to something different.

    The moral I took away from that night is that I'm a bit of a bragging asshole, and that time it bit me in the ass. Might wanna keep myself in check next time.

    Side note, haven't puked since then, fucker. Goddamn my intestinal constitution is on point. Pretty sure nothing can make me puke. Bunch of fucking pussies you all are, puking on a nightly basis. Been well over a decade since I puked from drinking, can't hold your fucking booze, OMG? Damn shame. If only you were you had a stomach of steel like me, champ. Goddamn it must suck puking.
  19. Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN I'm probably remembering it wrong but in my head it was epic. Just one violent splurge of puke that got some air. He was on his back so the puke went straight up before coming back down.

    I *wish* that's what had happened, but pictures of the event, nobody else remembering that having happened, and my clothes being puke-free the next day all tell a much more boring story of me puking in a bucket.
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