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Posts by My Wife Is Dead
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2019-10-30 at 5:19 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
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2019-10-30 at 12:04 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
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2019-10-30 at 12:03 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
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2019-10-30 at 12:02 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN then failed to create a moment with Kelsey from the 'Bees in the bathroom.
I remember her. She and I are friends on facebook, unlike me and you. She's doing awesome.
Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN And it wasn't some girls room you 'randomly' met. It was my room. You shit in my bed claiming, "It's always darkest before the brown". Why lie brah?
You reimagining a story and shoehorning yourself into the role of my dead wife is probably the creepiest thing you've ever done, bro. You alright over there? You've basically cut all communication with me and Poast. We never hear from you anymore, and are pretty worried about you.
Why don't you come home and get recarded like it's still '84 for old time's sake? -
2019-10-29 at 9:15 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by Vitamin G 1- hydro failing to shoot herself in the head
Sounds pretty hard to fuck that up. My vote is for this story.
Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN The fact you would make a wild claim that it was me who would do such unspeakable acts really shows what a piece of shit you are you degenerate fuck.
I thought this was a hate-free zone, bro. But whatevs, the story's still funny even if you're pretending it was me instead of you. You don't need to lie to kick it. You're the one that told me "if you can't live something down, you might as well live it up."
It was pretty inspirational when you marched into work the next day and preemptively told ALL of our coworkers about buttchugging a forty, so that you could frame it as bragging instead of allowing them to make fun of you for it. Whatever happened to the big swinging dick you used to be?
A true embarrassing story about me from back in the day is when me and you dressed up as Batman and Robin for the premiere of Dark Knight Rises. I'm pretty sure I never told you about what happened after the movie.
We showed up drunk. I had cans of beer loaded into my utility belt, and accidently burst one while we were walking over people to get to our seats. I accused the people I doused in beer of spilling their drinks on me.
Eventually I got blackout drunk before the movie ended, ditched you and sat in the aisle next to some girl so I could hold her hand. Don't remember shit after that, but I woke up naked in her bed the next day. She was PISSED at me for some reason.
I asked her what's up, and she's like "YOU SHIT IN MY BED!"
I look over all the evidence, and know I'm usually pretty good about not pissing or shitting myself while drunk. Look at the remains of my batman suit. Seems I must have sharted at some point.
I asked the girl if I took off the batman suit, and she said "no, it looked uncomfortable so I took it off for you."
I pointed out that it's obvious I sharted long before I got in her bed, so it's basically her fault there's skid marks in her bed. To this day I maintain my innocence in the crime of shitting the bed any time that story gets brought up.
Also to this day, I've never been able to sit through an entire showing of Dark Knight Rises without getting blackout drunk. I've seen it like 5 times, and still don't know how it ends. -
2019-10-29 at 5:55 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
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2019-10-27 at 4:38 PM UTC in San Francisco Bay Area Blackout at 5pm
Originally posted by vindicktive vinny dont californians love environments and are CO2 fearing people.
No, the voters just love *believing* they're good environmentalists. They'll ban the use of natural gas for the poor, and shut down inexpensive but non-renewable energy sources to make it look like our emissions are lower--but the counties just leach dirty power from neighboring states at a price increase for the average joe.
California is a shitshow, but I think you already knew that and just being ironic. -
2019-10-27 at 4:10 PM UTC in Poast Asks Lanny The Big Questions
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2019-10-27 at 4:06 PM UTC in Petition to ban MyWifeIsDead
Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN He's inciting violence on the boards against me and I don't feel safe.
You live like five states away, what do you think I'm gonna do? Drive through five states and back in 3 days fueled by nothing but a hangover and desire to cause trouble?
Originally posted by -SpectraL First his Mom, then his wife. Poor kid.
Pretty sure I'm cursed, but I'd feel more sympathy for the women in my life than me. I mean, they're the ones dying. -
2019-10-27 at 5:56 AM UTC in San Francisco Bay Area Blackout at 5pmPower went out to parts of Humboldt about an hour ago. Not entirely blacked out yet, according to my contacts across the county, but it's starting.
This is round two of the October blackouts for us. Lots of talk about starting a purge earlier in the month, but the first one only resulted in a few more than average breakins, and someone popped some shots off at a PG&E vehicle. I'm hoping there's a little more excitement this time. -
2019-10-27 at 5:50 AM UTC in Poast Asks Lanny The Big Questions
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2019-10-27 at 4:05 AM UTC in Poast Asks Lanny The Big Questions
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2019-10-26 at 7:42 AM UTC in Poast Asks Lanny The Big Questions
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2019-10-26 at 6:54 AM UTC in Poast Asks Lanny The Big Questions
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2019-10-24 at 10:08 PM UTC in Poast Asks Lanny The Big Questions
Originally posted by Vitamin G I feel sorry for your daughter.
Same here.
Originally posted by Kuntzschutz Poast is a real fuckup and just an all around bad person
Poast and I were joking last night that people might still think we're the same person. Good to know tradition is still alive around these parts. -
2019-10-24 at 8:48 PM UTC in Poast Asks Lanny The Big Questions
Originally posted by Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country Tell your daughter she has shit taste.
lulz. Nah, won't be doing that. She wouldn't even be phased by it, and probably accuse me of being weird for even having this conversation. I can hear it now--"Ponies are for girls, daddy. You're not allowed to talk about them."
And I wouldn't even be able to debate her logic, because MLP is well and truly for little girls.
Originally posted by vindicktive vinny have she lost her Virginity ?
Have we really fallen so far from grace that this is a serious question, or am I expecting too much subtlety from trolling these days? -
2019-10-24 at 7:11 PM UTC in Poast Asks Lanny The Big Questions
Originally posted by Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country Name a better pony I dare you.
My daughter prefers Rarity, and I trust the target audience's judgement over what I'm assuming is a grown man sporting pony iconography years past the time it was even remotely trendy to be repping MLP.
Originally posted by Sudo what 5he fuck is good in scumbolt?
Damn, that's a hilarious term I've never heard for this shithole. I'm stealing that.
And not shit's good here. Thought I escaped, and for 5 fucking years that was true, but now I'm back in it and neck deep in tweakers and burnouts. Fuck this place, but I still have bridges to burn out here. -
2019-10-24 at 9:11 AM UTC in Poast Asks Lanny The Big Questions