Originally posted by Misguided Russian
Would you please make another cake and take pix?
Channel your feelings through the cake and pix. The different atmosphere of pix will help to capture the change in the last year.
Also post the other content that you speak of.
<3
i dont make things like that much anymore. anhedonia and depression and all that. and cakes dont excite me too much, it was for her because it's fun to show someone dank they did't know of before. i will look through the other content later...to be honest a lot of it is just me being loaded and retarded and taking about nothing though
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2019-09-28 at 1:09 PM UTC
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Incel Rant
maybe the women stopped paying attention to you because there was a gay dude rubbing ur back so they assumed u were gay
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I went to the store and bought some rainbow cake mix. The kind that was always at your friends' birthday parties in summer after they barbecued the hot dos and cheeseburgers. I then cooked some of the dough in the microwave in a buttered up cup which is a trick I learned from none other than Captain Falcon, gotta give credit where credit is due you feel me? Anyways my gf had never ate this kind of cake before and so I made it for her and took some pics of myself with the cake and the cake itself. And for the haterz...IT WAS DELICIOUS. Plus I'm on opiates, benzos and weed and it's hard to even see straight right now so you know I don't care.
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2019-09-30 at 5:17 AM UTC
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fuck
fuck my life, i can't fall asleep in the bed i made for myself because the plan the whole time was just "lol i'm just going to keep doing drugs until it's miserable then i'll kill myself anyways because its pointless anyways" but when that point got reached i'm too much of a pussy to actually do it. so i just sit here in shock and horror at how obscenely stupid throwing away my entire life was. it's like i can't believe it. i don't want to accept it. i just ruined everything for the stupidest reasons, stupid reasons i held to because of anxiety that was blown out of proportion but by the time i realized how ridiculous it had gotten it was way too late. i just can't stop obsessing over things that aren't even relevant to anyone other than me anymore. it's fucking stupid and i don't understand why i couldn't just be normal.
i wish i was one of those people that can just exist without it feeling like a constant battle. that can just be content doing things. i used to think they were just dumber and thus more easily entertained but it was really just my mind tricking me into thinking that i'm smarter than everyone else, i had everything i just needed to keep it but for some reason it wasn't good enough so i mutilated it til it was hardly recognizable and permanently damaged and the ones who i loved don't want to talk to me anymore. its so fucking dumb and now i have to pay for it. so every fucking night i'm paying for it. i fucking hate it and myself so much i can't even describe it with words. the smart competent decently attractive anxious dude who was in the military who had the perfect life lined up gave it all up because he wanted to be a junkie and sleep with some random japanese slut instead. real fucking smart.
i don't really expect anyone to say much to this and you don't have to do the same old "tomorrow needs you..." or "one day at a time" stuff. i just want to type because im frustrated and i want to rip my eyeballs out.
i just want to be happy again like i was in 2015/2016 but the money, time, and innocence has been lost and i don't even think it's possible anymore. its possible for other people but not me. i'm too neurotic, too anxious, too sucked into this mindset and damaged by it over the years. it feels like i'd just be faking it.get into some social circles like a well intentioned parasite until the desire for self destruction grows until it starts fucking everything up for everyone. maybe that wouldn't happen this time though, after all the shit thats happened the past few years and me fucking up a lot and analyzing my behavior.
i want peace. but sometimes it feels like killing myself is eventual because the shit doesn't stop, and it sucks watching the people that you do get close to move on to better things, or to react negatively to your shittiness, or get hurt because you did something fucked up. i half think i just did this subconsciously so i would have an excuse to kill myself and maybe after some more time goes by if it doesn't get better than that's the road i'll take. i'm tired of the pain and the shit of everyday waking up and remembering the fucked up decisions you made that lead you to the life you're about to have to live and then immediately regret living through the night. so fucking sad. how can one person be so fucked up and stupid
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2019-10-04 at 6:23 AM UTC
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fuck
Originally posted by CASPER
NA dude. Theres people there who robbed people, dug through trash cans, had their kids taken away from them, stole from dying family members. As long as you dwell on the past, it will continue to plague your present. You have mental health and addiction issues. We deal with things in fucked up ways. First question you need to ask is do you even want to be better, or do you think youve just fucked everything up for good?
NA is just so...all encompassing. it seems like it keeps people sober by just filling all of their time. and i dont want to get sober to replace my drug life with another one thats just about abstinence, i want to replace it with a real life
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his dick got stung by a bee, lul
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thatst what happens when you're in IV meth and heroin addict
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blow it all by flying us out to hawaii for an NIS official meetup
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usually i'm just paying attention to whatever needs to be attended to at that moment, but in between those times when there are events that demand your attention, there are lulls. i've realized a lot of these lulls will be spent diverting my attention to NIS, youtube, social media or whatever. when shit is really boring i just switch back and forth between those things. anyways it made me think, before electronics were everywhere, what would people usually do during those lulls? sometimes i just stare off into space or think about something for a minute so i guess maybe they just did that over and over?
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maybe if u didnt feed ur dog meth it wouldn't have a heart attack u fucking retard
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Originally posted by frumbob 🐎🦄🐈🐯🐷🦊
i obsess over certain genres for a while
ive had periods where i only listened to 1 genre and it was grindcore, gabber, witch house/rave, trash house, nu metal, EDM, angercore, death metal, PCP rave..
i have very similar music listening habits
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2019-04-12 at 12:04 AM UTC
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Jail in about 48 hours
I will mail you printed copies of NIS threads.
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2019-09-27 at 10:34 PM UTC
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Left handed users thread
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2019-09-26 at 9:37 PM UTC
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Laptop keeps overheating
put it in the fridge for 10 minutes retard
some peoples kids...
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*examines list*
oh good, i'm not on the list! that means i'm not a drug addict! i'll celebrate this by shooting up meth
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2019-09-26 at 10:39 PM UTC
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no i will not wear sunglasses
anyone who does meth is white trash ESPECIALLY IF THEY BLACK
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2019-09-26 at 9:09 PM UTC
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Just got word that hydro died
she died in a horrible pallet faling accident
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Originally posted by Japan-Is-Eternal
honorary Aryans
actually since they are superior all the white people are honorary japanese and they rightfully should make some of you their slaves
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one time i bought shard off some black dude and he was just hella high and chatty the whole time and pretty sure implied he was just stealing some of his brothers meth to sell
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