last year i was sad, anyway. this year im thankful for myself and the fact that i am going to be perfectly content doing whatever the hell i want, not being held hostage at some boring family gathering where everyone hates me, or worse yet, having to spend it with some strange old woman that i'm not physically attracted to. i can't even imagine the horror i'd feel. i would probably vomit for 3 days
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Their music is objectively shit but for some reason they became cool to like and somehow remained that way, despite their best efforts to put out the shittiest albums possible literally over and over again. They’re just that band that everyone thinks is like what you’re supposed 2 lissen 2 wen u go 2 college and become a sophisticated adult that has tried marijuana but doesn’t usually do it except on weekends because you’re too worried about your future as a shitty investment banker
Fuck that band
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you know you're a fucking degenerate scumbag when you get stoned and eat half a jar of organic chocolate almond butter after dinner and you consider that the healthy choice
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Originally posted by CASPER
I remember walking in the rain in October with this girl, high off our heads on mushrooms and drinking mickeys and EnJ Brandy from a water bottle. She had to pee, and so we walked into the park where we wouldn’t get stopped. I’m looking out for her and a few seconds later I hear her yell SHIT and i turn around and she’s slid down an embankment and she’s upside down with her underwear around her knees, up to her shoulder in a recycling bin.
dude e and j and mickeys and steel reserve was all i drank in high school
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bitch im kicking out the hotel room doors wearing bleach stained jeans, on my way to the organic market to buy a little $6 juice and smile at the pretty cashier then go deface their property in a conspicuous place "fucking kill yourself", the point is short and sweet
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candyrein would be the chill slave owner who makes you pick cotton but lets you be done at a reasonable hour so she can smoke you out and make you dinner
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recently i've been having to take lyft to work because my car is totally fucked. the other night this dude named HONGWEI drove me home. it was an older chinese guy and he was a good driver and didn't talk much which is always nice. then later i was just fucking around looking at the lyft app and it had a "favorite driver" so i was like fuck it im gonna nominate HONGWEI. now apparently if he's driving in my area and its able to conveniently have him pick me up rather than some other driver, it will do so. and he saw that i put him as a favorite driver. maybe i can figure out his schedule and conveniently need lyft rides to places around those, just so it looks like i'm riding with him on purpose. then start tipping him like $5 then $10 and then start asking him all kinds of personal questions. then i'll know how long it takes for him to block me when i go to take my normal route and it's someone else driving
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